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No. 1714003
A Thread for former NEETs who escaped the NEET lifestyle and are trying to stay out and current NEETs who wish who want to get out of NEETdom
This is not a thread for wilful NEETsTopics regarding NEETdom may include but are not limited to:
>Reasons why you became a NEET and why you want to leave it.>Little things that motivate your escape/recovery.>Changes that you face regarding leaving NEETdom.>What made you slip up on your NEETdom escape/recovery.>Asking for advice/help.>Your success at becoming a normie.Previous thread
#1
>>>/ot/472051 No. 1718673
File: 1696679890352.png (38.36 KB, 144x133, kfjbndfkjbvnkdjfn.png)
Thank you, nonnas. I got the job (yay), but I had to tell them I couldn't do it once they told me I'd need to travel to train (boo), but I am not fretting because I found a backup unexpectedly. I wouldn't mind going where they needed me to if I knew how to drive and I wish they added that requirement in the listing. Anyway I'll apply later to plan b today after my sleep. At my interview I acted like a total idiot when I had to introduce myself. I forgot I had to shake their hands first so when I walked up to them (it was outside) I was in a half bow position staring at their hands until I remembered I had to reach for their freaking hands so my hand sprung up so reatardly. I wanted to melt down to the ground, but I kept it going. I know better next time…
No. 1722932
>>1719106what happened anon? hope ur doing well
>>1722204me too, when i've been able to hold down a job i have felt very accomplished but it also doesn't have the self improving factors that a lot of people around me acted like it did
No. 1724419
>>1724413You're making it sounds like you've been taking lessons for a long ass time but I don't think you're doing that bad? The average time it takes to get a license is about 6 months, if you get your license by winter 2024 you're just slightly over the average by 2ish months.
Anyway taking a few months longer than most is OK, money aside you're not missing out on some grant opportunity to change your life just because it's taking a little longer. Allow yourself some time.
No. 1724563
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I think im slowly getting out of neetdom, i have a few more friends in uni this year and one of them is a super nice girl that has so many friends so I look up to her a lot! Sometimes I feel stressed that im not going out everyday but I need to remind myself that Rome wasnt built in a day! Last week I went out with some new people and I kinda missed holding hands when walking thru a busy place just for safety (this sounds so corny but I stopped having friends at 17 so I just missed those silly things) I hope that this is just the start and I get a job soon so I have more oportunities to meet more people!
>>1724407good luck nonita bonita!
No. 1725176
>>1724563awh i am so happy for you! i hope many good things come your way
>I kinda missed holding hands when walking thru a busy placewhen i started socialising again after a long time i noticed this too, its really comforting
No. 1725184
>>1724563awh i am so happy for you! i hope many good things come your way
>I kinda missed holding hands when walking thru a busy placewhen i started socialising again after a long time i noticed this too, its really comforting
No. 1728783
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>>1725233>>1725378It's funny because NEET originated as a term used by the british government that usually referred to teens 16-18 who had left school but never moved onto work. The social problems they were associated with were like, gangs of youths hanging around or causing trouble in public in the middle of the day. It was part of this big crackdown on youth antisocial behavior at the time. As a slang term NEET was synonymous with chav, pretty much.
Very different to the modern day usage which implies a more harmless socially impared basement dweller.
Picrel is a forum post from the time showing the original usage.
The definition changed, I think, because the term only got to the US through anime. Japan picked the term up as a loanword to describe their own youth unemployment problem, but in japan the stereotypical NEET was an otaku shut in rather than a teen delinquent. By the time it took hold in the US, the chav hysteria in the UK had faded and no one used NEET as slang anymore so the japanese meaning took precedence in the english speaking world.
No. 1728934
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I spent 4 entire years after flunking University (I lie and tell my friends I graduated kek), now I am back to learning in another University for a whole different subject I think I might enjoy and I feel weird being 24 when every classmate is 18 or 19. I don't look 24 and they all think I'm the same age as them, but still, even though I was stuck as a NEET, I tried to develop my style from something basic to every day j-fashion. I learned to cook better, take care of my belongings and rented apartment more efficiently. I also stabilized myself in basic opinions I never had the chance to think about. I feel like I've advanced quite a bit since I became a neet at 20… But there's something inside my heart that wants to go back. Go back to neetdom. Go back to leisurely pacing myself through the day every day Buuut also I feel uneasy being so "experienced" around these literal kids who still play pranks on each other, but on the other hand I feel like joining in, like I'm also 18 and I wanna gossip and have fun. I don't know how to put this all into better words, but maybe my neetdom also made me childish and now it's coming out, as during my first Uni I wasn't like this at all.
No. 1729618
>>1728934Anon you're just 24. There's some level of maturity difference between you and 18 year olds but it's not THAT big, therefore it makes complete sense that you want to join in on the fun your slightly younger classmates are having. You're not an imposter. (They're also not literal kids, give them the benefit of the doubt sometimes). You're talking about yourself as if you're a grandma who isn't allowed to have fun anymore. Go, have fun with your classmates, joke around, gossip, go out for drinks, whatever, those are all perfectly normal and reasonable things for 24 year olds to do. And frankly, and I mean this with no offense whatsoever, you're probably not as developed/experienced as you think you are compared to them/for your age as you've spent the past four years NEETing.
No. 1729941
>>1729933it's all so exhausting. i've not even gotten confirmation that i'm invited to this shit process yet but i'm praying i am even if i dread it
why can't getting a job be easier. i can do the work, i just need a chance kek
No. 1730101
>>1724097current plan:
1. government year in trade, they hire retards (me) so if i improve physical fitness i can do it currently i can do like 50% required of the physical test rn
1.5 try to get a normal job in between neetdom and governemnt to return to normalcy like night stocking or something
2. take apprenticeship trade job with experience gained once year finished
3. have 70k salary gain 4+ years experience
4.?? at this point i will very likely quit and use all my money to shut myself in again need to make some sort of unghostable aquaintance to anchor myself to human world
challenges include: not being terribly unfit- have improved fitness results in the last week and a half, attaining medical clearance, not giving up instantly on any challenge presented to me.
any particular critiques or deathwishes?
No. 1730981
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i just applied with the most flattering "skill-based" resume (because i have no education and no experience) possible without actively lying about my credentials and even so it's 5 sentences. surely they aren't choosy about who does the dishes? but it's the shittiest resume ever.
i'll have to rewrite it.
No. 1738082
File: 1698188695148.png (501.11 KB, 633x627, notimage.png)
I'm a former NEET who's been in uni for a while now. The thing is, I don't have any real goals here, it's just my door out of NEETdom. My parents want me to get a degree so they support me financially so that I can live alone comfortably.
I'm on my 3rd year and haven't picked a major—the clock is ticking for me to pick soon, but I just have no idea. Not even any leads where I'm choosing between a few, I'm outright lost. I've been taking random classes that are either required or that seem okay, and there are certainly things that I enjoy, but nothing sticks hard enough where I'd feel okay about diving deep into it as a full subject of study or a career. This makes me pretty alienated from my peers, who seem to all specifically know that they want to be an engineer or artist or whatever.
It's not that I'm miserable and apathetic about life; I'm actually a really happy person, it's just that all the things I enjoy doing aren't exactly career-oriented or profitable. I like staying home, cooking for myself, making amateur art, playing video games, chatting with my friends, simple mundane stuff like that. In my ideal life, I just spend time with my friends and family. I have no dream job…
But yeah, I dunno what to do when it's time for me to be forced to commit to something. I might just pick something decently profitable that's not very competitive… I actually tried randomly picking at an earlier point but they unpicked it for me because "it's not your real passion" and basically expected me to figure out my true life goal if I just gave it time.
Some people suggest that I should drop out and become a basic restaurant wagie or something, others say it's a waste to give up my opportunity at uni (it's a pretty prestigious one and I will incur minimal debt) and that I'm not cut out to survive in the wagie world. I think even my parents are seeing that I'm at a dead end because they've shifted their focus to saying stuff like "anon have you met any nice smart men? If you get a nice rich husband you can stay home all day~"
TLDR anyone else struggle to "pick a path" when it comes to deciding what kind of non-NEET thing to pursue?
No. 1738339
File: 1698210687405.gif (1.31 MB, 220x192, cursed-hello-kitty-balloon-hel…)
I used to have friends in school as a kid, we'd go to the mall and all that stuff in the free time. I miss it and I get anxious if I don't talk to people, I don't know why.
I'm trying to escape the NEETdom because the older I get just worse it feels and I'm only in my early 20s.
No idea what I want to do or how to make friends, living already in such a introverted country. I'm scared I will be alone forever or if I find partner they'll see me as total loser once they find out all my contacts are people I have met online and don't see irl.
I wish good luck everyone with their goals, sometimes I feel like I was doomed from the start (shitty childhood) but hopefully I will be in better place once I reach my 30s.
I have hard time going out there and enjoying things alone, I'm fixated on needing peoples approval all the time, anyone have tips how to get rid off this? Should I just go to therapy?
No. 1738422
Farmers, what is the differences and/or similarities between a NEET and failure to launch syndrome/faildaughter/son in your opinion?I’ve been reading whatever limited studies have been done of FTL and it’s almost exclusively males, who failed to finish collage/ transition to the workforce, with the hallmark characteristics being living at home and lacking core adult life skills (cleaning, cooking, time and money management) and having no friends or only superficial/age inappropriate friends and being a enormous financial burden on the family. Video game, nerd stuff and weed addictions are sometimes present but sometimes not-I guess FTL also encompasses the weird 35 year old guy who spends all day surfing/at the country club hanging out with people ten years younger than him and while his aging parents just pay for everything no questions asked, which wouldn’t really fit with NEETdom. One the other hand core aspects of failing to transition fully to adult life are the same. I see myself in some way reflected in the FTL category because I never had the level of dating problems most neets have, but I totally failed to make it to the workforce in anyway (besides attempts at getting and losing a few dead end min wage admin/handcrafting jobs last one being years ago). I live in a crippling sense of loneliness and alienation and if I died tomorrow I think only 2-3 people (all exes) would really care longer then a few days. On the other hand I live alone and don’t need anyone to do my laundry, I know how to cook,how to get different stains out of fabric, dont have problem with hygiene etc. But I wonder if that is related to these case studies being done almost exclusively on men. In terms of classic NEETdom I’m heavily addicted to the internet, have Asperger’s-y poor social skills and was a classic weeb at one point in life. There are expensive rehab style problems that claim to work with FTL, I wonder though would it have any value for female neets though?
No. 1738769
>>1738082As a post-uni recovered NEET my advice is always to not worry about your passion. You won’t actually know what job suits you best until you try a number of them, and plus you can pivot much more easily once you are already within the work world. You are in the perfect part of your education to focus on co-ops, practicums, internships if your school has anything like that… your major could be anything, the word that’s actually on your degree will have shockingly little relevance to your work life compared to getting experience at real workplaces, but i would even pick a major based on which majors have work experience components. Also, idk about your school, but at my school, you could enter co-ops without any specific degree matched to a job, it was basically a job board. I would accumulate as much experience and savings as you can this way, and figure out what you like doing by trying things out in the real world. In the work world a lot of the time you can wind up moving into roles you realize you like without formal education because of other experience and skills you acquire on the job. Right now I would say you just want to do everything you can to set yourself up to comfortably explore different types of jobs after you graduate, feeing confident about your level of experience, etc. Good luck nona, you are in the year of your education that i turned my life around by doing the above things
No. 1740176
im 23 and ive been complete neet since i graduated high school, im very mentally ill and cant do anything alone. im gonna try a IT 2-year course next year, and try to get into pharmacy college later, but im autistic and have severe social phobia. i have tried enrolling in university before but my longest stay was 2 months.
being near my family is detrimental to my mental health and my biggest desire was to get accepted into an uni in another state, and i did get into one, but my family didnt let me go. that completely shattered my expectations, even thinking about it makes my head dizzy, low blood pressure and all. i just dont have anything else to live for anymore. i am planning my education just so i can fill some expectations from others, but its not my ”dream”. my ”dream” would be getting away from my family. where i live its not common to just move away when you turn 18, people generally move out when they get married, in their mid-20s or so.
i hate working so much. i have worked a few months for my family business and it was so fucking miserable. the last time i got so stressed i tried killing myself and ended up in the hospital. the work wasnt stressful, sometimes id be playing computer games all day, but i just couldnt handle to go somewhere and work all day and then come home and do absolutely nothing because i just became a fucking zombie. i couldnt do anything after i come home from work, i would stare at the ceiling like a broken robot, no thoughts, literally. i dont know whats wrong with me. i like studying but i cant even socialize. i dont like working but i need a lot of money to leave.
just what the fuck do i do to not feel so much pain and desperation, i cant even get the autism buxx. im not even pretty to sell my body online.
No. 1743330
>>1739249>I just don't think many parents are as accepting of faildaughters as they are of failsonsi agree with this but i also think it's dependent on a lot of things like race, age, etc.
overall yes though women are not allowed to become NEETs at the rate men are. it's so funny that scrotes have this idea that women just have it easy despite every facet of reality rebelling against that fact
No. 1759641
>>1759624Never tell any recruiter about mental illness or your spectrum stats. It will not help you and people will look down on you.
Finish interviews no matter how painful or how much of a guaranteed flop it is, and yes reschedule. That route is you functioning despite your problems and not letting them work you.
The worst thing you can do with severe anxiety is seek to be comfortable, as the boundary of comfort and discomfort will always shrink until you are a mute hermit. You have to keep pushing out.
No. 1759676
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I just really don't know why I can't fit in anywhere I go. I went into CS with the "I'm gonna be rich and make money, I can learn to make games on the side" mindset. 3 semesters in, I'm seriously considering switching to gamedev because I already wasted years, and I don't want to be here for 4 MORE FUCKING SEMESTERS wasting my parent's money to constantly do high level math and biology I'll forget within a day. I remembered why I hated school recently: being surrounded by people I couldn't give a single shit about doing the same thing day after day, just because its "the right and normal path". I already grew confident enough over the years to dress how I want half the time, but I get too much within my mask/persona of being this mean woman who has better places to be. It works but I just make myself miss out on interactions because I'm so focused on getting home to relax and not worry about breaking the illusion.
I've been absent to all my classes since last Tuesday and used up all excused ones. I haven't been able to stop biting my nails and ruined a month's work of regrowth. I'm grateful to be born reasonably well-off with a roof over my head but I never asked to be born. I wish I knew genuine love and companionship like back in my innocent pre-2nd year of middle school. Really really really trying not to go back to depressed unfeeling neethood because I think if I do I'm gonna do something I'll regret this winter. The only reason I haven't done anything is thanks to my paranoia and self-awareness of how my mask will be permanently broken with no way of going back after years of hiding away and trying to be at least be perceived as a normal, sane person. I am so filled with hate, disappointment, envy, and jealousy. Turn 23 soon but I already feel old…
No. 1759785
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I'm finding recovery really hard. I consider myself NEET often but in reality I bounce from job to job, staying 1-4 months typically before losing it again. Right now I'm doing temp work that is very unstable, I get enough money but I can't plan even a week in advance, and I work with retards. However, I'm able to stick with it when I don't seem able to stick with a permanent job, and the variety is kind of fun.
I just know this can't be it forever, getting antsy and I don't know what to try to do next that's realistic for me, don't even know what I want I'm so depressed that I'm passionate about basically nothing. All I know is that I want to do better, and that this shit tires my body out, but I'm good at it. My bf is working overtime both professionally and academically right now and I feel so inadequate.
At least this is better than being on jobseekers allowance (any other povvo britbongs here?) It's survivable for now and I want to do better but doubt my ability to do so.
No. 1772810
>>1771922I haven’t even thought of staffing agencies. I’m going to try that and see if I get a job somewhere. The thing that sucks the most about my situation is that I’ve been like this for over a year. But I’m still trying. And it’s true they don’t want to hire unless you already have years of work experience under your belt. The only jobs willing to hire me are blue collar jobs which I can do but I feel like it’s a waste of my degree. Let’s hope we both get a job
>>1762699I wish I could help but I’m stuck in the same position. I feel like the only way to lose one addiction is to get a different addiction. It’s like losing weight. Most people who lose a great deal of weight end up getting an alcohol addiction. So for you to get rid of your addiction you’d have to find something else to fill your time. Maybe you can try working out? Going on walks? Drawing. Reading. Writing. At least that way people think it’s a more “productive” use of your time instead of being on social media. Maybe you can make a friend and that friend can take you out to places so that you don’t get to be just waiting for your phone to hop back onto social media.
No. 1772951
File: 1700072879624.png (1.07 MB, 1423x800, 1431229134799-0.png)
Covid lockdowns did the final push that sealed my fate, i'm comfortable with being a neet/hikikomori now. I have my own tiny apartment, regular supply of veggies from country side relatives and a bit of passive income, nothing can make me face the disappointments of outside world. I'm abandoning humanity back, haha, take that!
No. 1777178
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uhhh why do i still get intimidated by teenagers in public (i am 22)
No. 1778334
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Torn between purposefully flopping an interview tomorrow (by being myself) or actually atempting. I've started a sewing class and have to quit if I actually got hired, which would be a shame and it's just a shitty retail job, not to mention my mother is against it, but I dunno, since someone like me won't get many opportunities to join the job market.
No. 1778386
>>1777178It's the years of bullying
nonnie. I'm 29 and still get uncomfortable near them
No. 1778642
File: 1700420603079.jpg (21.48 KB, 563x538, cry cat.jpg)
>Applied for job
>Already hoping they don't call me back because NEETdom is too comfortable
It's not even a demanding job. Nonnies I hate this.
No. 1778864
>>1777178>I have hard time going out there and enjoying things alone, I'm fixated on needing peoples approval all the time, anyone have tips how to get rid off this? Should I just go to therapy?nta but bump, for me im fine doing alone but only when im out of sight
>>1738391the fawning/ need for validation is a problem…
No. 1782788
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Half the jobs I would apply for have heavy lifting listed as a required skill. I'm so out of fucking shape it's not funny. None of the jobs I've applied for have even written me back to reject me. Now when I actually make an honest effort to get a grip all the years of making no effort at all are biting me in the ass.
No. 1796271
>>1796252Thank you anon, I'm very thankful to my boss because she put up with so much of my shit. My first few months I was a bad employee because I was going through a lot of shit I genuinely couldn't control so I was constantly on edge, anxious (which made me miserable to me around and I cried a lot, like every meeting with my boss I ended up crying randomly) and also I was always late to work because I just didn't care enough. I once showed up three hours late because I stayed up late and slept through my alarms. Honestly don't know how I wasn't fired because prior to that I was late multiple times and I think I used up every excuse. Of course she was pissed with me but I will say once in a meeting I did open up a bit to how I was raised and my mother specifically, and while I cannot blame her for my adult life and it's my responsibility now she did later on admit to me hers was very similar and she understands why I was the way I was. Convo short my mother hated me growing up.
I'm very lucky that I work with such nice people and my boss is huge on self improvement (not just for work but for everyday life, we do a lot of life goal type stuff at work, how to achieve realistic goals so on that have nothing to do with the company) and she said she has seen so much improvement. She's extremely blunt sometimes and it can be hurtful but I think I needed the honest truth, because of her I started really trying on my sleep, walking more, trying different strategies to make sure I'm not late to work (when before I'd blame it on busses being late or whatever).
No. 1796309
I have a job interview in a few days, I really hope I get it. It's nothing special but being a NEET for too long has me stressing about the most banal things, it's nice in the first half year or so but after that you just become so detached from reality and what's normal.
>>1796249I feel you
nonnie. Not really the same situation but what I'm applying to is technically a side job for like 16 year olds so I hope they don't tell me I'm too old. Age discrimination sucks, so many places are notorious for firing/not hiring anyone over 18 because they actually have to pay them.
No. 1797963
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No. 1807195
File: 1702268325669.png (1.15 MB, 1280x1262, IMG_1562.png)
I feel so hopeless sometimes, not just because of being a neet, but because it feels impossible to escape from in my position. The advice I get from people online is to just go out and be social but it’s hard for me, because I don’t have a car, and I live somewhere bad so walking to nearby places is dangerous. I hate this life so much, I haven’t talked to a non family member irl in years. I don’t even know where to start getting out there
No. 1807202
>>1807195Is there a way for you to make them take you out or something? I didn't go out for years because I'm in a position similar to yours, but now that I'm 28 years old my family understands that I needed to actually socialize and such, so now they do anything to let me go out and talk to other people, but mostly it was because I get sick constantly from not going out at all.
Just going to the supermarket helps a lot.
No. 1821622
File: 1703125364920.png (5.37 MB, 2000x2762, 4fd69c7cece7b89acec1956c1df694…)
I wish we would talk to each other in the thread more. I'm going to reply to some posts to be the change I want to see.
>>1797963This is very interesting, thank you for sharing anon. I can see some of these traits in myself, but I don't at all relate to "changing the channel" or avoiding my feelings. I feel everything, turned up to maximum, all the time, and it only stops once I have tired myself out. I wonder if anyone else is like that?
>>1815004If your anxiety is that bad, then yes you definitely need help. The shame will try to tell you that you should be able to handle it all by yourself, or perhaps that no one can help you, but shame is a liar. Going to the event and choosing to get help are important first steps. You're moving forward a little bit at a time.
>>1815364Are you the anon from the Advice Thread who did your trial run but didn't get paid? If so, by now I hope you've heard back about the job and that you're 1) getting compensated and 2) hired for real. If you're not the same anon, I still hope it went well and that you have a job now.
>>1816051Goodbye and good luck anon, if this is truly your last post then I hope your internet-free life is a beautiful one. Keep up that positive energy! Your resilience inspires me
>>1820392It feels good to have physical proof of your participation in society, doesn't it? And even better to have things to look forward to. Let us know what happens next?
I want to talk a bit about my own situation as well. This month, I managed to get one of those online jobs that dont need any experience or qualifications. It should be easy, but every time I think about having to actually do it, I start crying and want to throw up from fear. I would rather quit before I start than get fired for inactivity, or worse, because I messed up on the job. What should I do? It's so hard to recover and I don't know how to confide in anyone else…
No. 1823134
>>1823085I think the point is to see which one you use most often or for the lowest levels of pain, while understanding that you are a human being capable of a full range of behaviour. Whoever tried to pigeonhole you was not understanding the concepts. I get what you mean about "negative view." Some authors let their biases show and that can be hurtful. But again that's just an opinion, a problem with their worldview that has nothing to do with you.
>>1823106The same can be said of teenagers. Their empathy skills are underdeveloped and probably not nurtured by anyone around them, much less other teenagers. It hurts to be insulted or laughed at but, at the end of the day, that's just a random kid who doesn't even know you. We have to do our best to brush it off.
No. 1824274
>>1821622My ID is in the mail! It happened so fast I’m a bit nervous about the pressure that’ll come with being able to do things but at the same time kind of excited. I’m lucky my moms been with me (she’s the whole reason I finally sorted my ID), she’s been helping me look for volunteer places and taking me out everyday. Seeing her socialize gives me some pointers, mostly I’m realizing others are super awkward compared to her (small town hospitality suits her so naturally, I could never) so I’m more forgiving of my own inept socializing.
I’m thinking of trying online work like what you’re talking about before I volunteer somewhere just to practice handling the pressure and responsibility of expectations. What is it the job has you doing? I find focusing on each individual task helps, even if I have to break it down to “press this button, now fill this out” etc. I’ve also been practicing ignoring my negative thoughts by constantly reminding myself I have that luxury because I’m in my head and can objectively determine what’s helpful and what’s a hinderance, it’s difficult but it really helps.
No. 1825542
File: 1703312697393.jpg (22.66 KB, 448x252, 1208b9d7b3d340febcb79295c48f06…)
I need to get out of the NEET circle, forever. I feel like I start, I get a part-time job, I go back to school, I hit the gym and for a short time, I'm normal. Then somthing happens, and I lose out on that discipline to maintain my routines and I fall apart. I've been told there's something about me that makes me self-sabotage, I have a "big shadow", that I lack a plan for life, that I lack something. I've tried therapy and it hasn't worked out for me. All I ever do is run in circles and I hate it. I'm a life-long failure and I just want to become normal for once.
No. 1825547
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How to make a plan? How to have a dream, and then make it happen and live that dream without dashing it on the floor? I'd call myself semi recovered as I've been working fulltime for a while now, but people always ask me what my 'life plan' is, or what I really want, and I just don't know, for now I want to survive and be good at what I do. I don't really believe in myself enough to have more than that in mind, but that feels like the wrong response, and I'm boring and sad for not having and working towards a dream. A quiet and comfortable life? Except that sounds boring. I have a degree in a creative area but I think maybe I'm happier just exhausting myself physically for a living. If my depression ever lifts maybe a dream will come to me but I doubt it. I wish people wouldn't ask these things and just accept my work persona, it makes me sad to talk about it.
No. 1826386
>>1824274It's great that your mom supports you and you can rely on her when you're outside together. I think volunteer work is a good idea. Most people in those programs are patient and forgiving, so they will understand if you want to take things slow. Let us know what you do with your ID when it arrives. Do you already have a library card? Signing up for one could be fun, if you like to read.
My job is a "talk on the phone" type job. Going slower/breaking everything down to the smallest component is surely the only way forward, but I don't think I can do it. I feel hopeless and inert. It seems that it was pure adrenaline that had me looking for work in the first place—nothing sustainable. At the time, I thought I was better, but I guess not. I feel like, deep down, I've already given up, but on the surface I'm still in denial, telling myself I will try. Like this it's somehow even more painful than just admitting defeat. I am so tired.
>>1825542I wish I knew the secret, anon. I'm also trapped in cycles and just wishing to get better. I feel like I should be capable enough to work sometimes, so I don't want to say I am disabled or that it's impossible. The best advice I can give you is to keep a daily diary, just a few sentences each night to record of your activities and moods. If you do it long enough, you'll start to see patterns and figure out what happens to you just before that "big shadow" comes over you. As long as you are alive, you always have a chance to try again. Just survive as best you can, that's the way forward.
No. 1826402
>>1825547That's a normal, albeit very irritating, question to be asked at work. They want to know if you're looking to be promoted or looking for another job, they don't give a rat's ass about your deepest hopes and wildest fantasies. Your dream is to be the best in your field and make lots of money for the company.
And speaking from experience, there's no point in thinking about the hopes and dreams you 'should' have when you're depressed. Focus on making it through your depression first, THEN think about what you want to do with your life, once your brain is functioning again. If you still want to have a quiet and comfortable life, great! It's a good goal to work towards, no matter how others try to make you feel about it.
No. 1827232
>>1826386Can you try to recapture the pure adrenalin state? When I used to be really depressed and apathetic to everything I’d go do crazy shit like starting a course or making friends with random people, I would just be like “well nothing matters so who cares if this goes badly!” about it.
Have you tried a script? I’d write myself little scripts when I was first learning to manage phones, if you know what you have to talk about you could try that? Make up either a script or cliff notes that help you remember/get the information out. Anytime you stutter or fumble it just take a deep breath and try again. You’ll get better the more you do it and if you’re ready to give up who cares right? May as well just suck at it and do it anyway, maybe you’ll get good? Or maybe you’ll be better then others at it, not the best but capable?
All this is easier said then done of course and I say this all as someone who hasn’t had a job in 10yrs so it may not even be helpful anymore, but trying over and over is the only thing that got me to at least start going to the grocery store and even attempting to become human again. I don’t think about failure, I just think about doing things better next time.
I’m very lucky my moms helping me, it was really difficult to reach out to her for support but she’s been a real boon in my recovery. It’s going to suck when she has to leave but at the same time I need to become more independent under my own power eventually. I hadn’t even thought about a library card but now that you mention it that’s a great idea!
No. 1835436
>>1835327This is so sweet anon and I think telling her this (like with a sweet thank you card or in person), would be nice for her to hear.
Im sure you have brought a lot of joy to her life.
No. 1840727
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>>1821646I feel like such a failure. I literally aplied to 8 entry level jobs and got rejected by all of them, others have already experience and I have none. What do you even do in this situation
No. 1843397
I am still a bit of a newfag, sorry for any mistakes in advance.
I've been a NEET since graduating high school, in general I've had no motivation to do anything. I was diagnosed with anxiety and depression as a pre-teen, though I haven't taken any medication for it in several years. I barely passed most of my classes in high school- my GPA is below 2.5 (amerifag, not sure how it works for other countries) but I had a high standardised test score. A family member knows the college chancellor here (community college) and basically signed me up for college, so I "took" a semester a couple years ago… I only passed one class and never logged into the online portal for the other classes.
I've had interviews for a couple of jobs the past 2 months, waiting to hear back from one (notorious for long hiring process, it's a government job) and the other I never heard back from even when trying to do follow-ups both through email and in-person. I have an interview for another job tomorrow, it's a part-time position I think. I've kind of got a foot in the door because, in short, my mother knows someone who knows someone. I'm hopeful for this job opportunity, I went shopping for business… casual? office-wear type stuff today since all I own are jeans, sweatpants, and t-shirts that wouldn't be appropriate for the setting at this job. I've been trying to learn how to do makeup and be more "professional" but I think I need more practice before actually leaving the house with any on… To be honest, I really really hate how it feels on my face.
I've been trying to be more presentable as a person, I might try learning how to take care of my hair (curly) as well if I can properly dig myself out of this pit. I guess it's a bit of a light at the end of the tunnel thing. It's faint, but I feel firmer in some things that motivate me. I want to save up for a specific convention later this year and maybe a mirrorless camera to upgrade from my old DSLR. I have no friends, nor family members close to my age. Most days I only talk to my grandmother, whom I live with. My hobbies and the need to take care of my grandmother are most of what keep me going. I've tried improving my social skills, but it seems like a moot point. I made a post in a vent thread a while ago, and I remember one nona basically saying that maybe some people are meant to be alone- I feel like that may be the case with me. I won't give up hope entirely, but I have a lot of trouble socialising… to be honest I'm not a very likeable person overall, no matter how many times I try to change my approach. It's like people are off put by me before they ever even speak to me. Throughout my school years I was bullied, it only ended when I transferred schools near the end of HS and literally did not speak to any other students at that school. It's a very lonely existence overall. I try not to take what I have for granted, but it feels hard to not have anyone I can truly talk to. Maybe the improvement will come naturally in time… (cope)
Sorry for rambling so much nonas, I just don't have anyone to tell this stuff to. tl;dr I might be breaking out of NEETdom soon, but I'm still socially retarded.
No. 1847154
feel free to judge me and my vanity, nonas, but I really, really wish I got a job when I was at my best before I festered into some kind of goblin.
I grew up being bullied over the way I looked and even through my adulthood people recoiled when they saw me. very briefly for some reason I looked relatively ok (I think I was 23-24?), but now? I look like roadkill. I am tall and built like a linebacker. my health is worse than ever in spite of no longer being fat. I have the worst case of acne I have ever seen (accutane + tretinoin had 0 effect and caused a ton of bad side effects). alongside that I have health issues and feel like shit pretty much all the time.I look genuinely scary and I am so exhausted that I can't even keep up in social situations without making massive amounts of mistakes, slurring my speech, offending people, etc. I already needed years of speech therapy in grade school to remotely be able to talk. I don't want to care about the way I look, I really don't, but, all these years have atrophied my soul and all I want to do is never, ever to be seen again by another person. I do not want to go outside. I do not want to talk to anyone. I do want some random person to insult my face for the 1000th time. I just wanna hide. But I need to live, right? It fucking sucks. I don't need to be cute or pretty…but the fact I scare people makes me feel so ashamed, so guilty that I exist.
if I could just sit in front of a computer alone in some cubicle I could work, but apparently that's a pipedream.
No. 1848074
>>1847154I know this is a long reply, so sorry in advance!
I want you to know that how you feel is something I'm very familiar with, nonna. Cystic acne feels life ruining, especially considering we're bombarded with ads and insta feeds and tweets that are photoshopped to hell and back to make people look like they're flawless and made of plastic. I don't have a lot pointers for the NEET/job stuff, cuz I'm kind of in the same boat–it's a process, unfortunately–but the acne stuff I feel like I could give a few pointers on, at least regarding the things that helped me.
>cut out dairy, processed sugars, salty snacks, red meat, and caffeine from your dietCertain foods and ingredients fuck with your hormones and can make break outs a lot worse. I'll have a flare up and I'll know immediately that it was something I ate.
>start taking a 1000mg vitamin c supplement and incorporating vit c rich foods in your diet.I personally like Ester-C because it comes with calcium and is easier on my stomach, but feel free to shop around for whatever is affordable for you. Oranges, strawberries, peppers, tomatoes, and cantaloupe are my favorites for food. Kale and broccoli are good, too.
>drink more waterSelf-explanatory. Try to get at least 8 cups a day, if you can.
>birth controlSo, this one isn't one I've had to resort to, but a lot of women see improvements in their skin when they start a BC regimen. If it's within your means, and you're willing to give it a shot, you may want to consider seeing your doc about a prescription.
>10% Benzoyl Peroxide Acne MedicationThere's a pretty reasonably priced cleanser on amazon–their own brand–that I've been using for couple years now that's worked well for me. I still get a few hormonal break outs during my period along my jaw and neck, but they aren't nearly as bad as they used to be. The face wash dries out your skin pretty heavily, though, so be ready to either gently exfoliate or to find a moisturizer for acne prone skin to ease the irritation, if you decide you'd like to give this one a try. A lot people warn off this type of face wash, for good reason if your skin ends up reacting badly to it, but it's an easy solution for people looking for one, so I figured I'd include it anyway.
>Anti-bioticsBefore I made a switch in my diet, I was taking one of these every day. I don't remember the exact name of the med, and I still noticed few smaller break outs while taking it, but the change I experienced with its inclusion was noticeable enough for me that I was actually kind of afraid to stop taking it, once I couldn't afford it anymore. However, the diet changes I made did away with that worry entirely, so this ended up feeling kind of like a waste of my money after the fact kek. Just another thing to think about!
For me personally, I go for solutions that are easily accessible and cost effective, since I'm not into the whole skincare and makeup scene–the thought of spending exorbitant amounts of cash on face shit drives me up a wall. However, if anyone else here has any skin advice that may help, and involves something I didn't mention, such as highend skincare, feel free to speak up.
There's also the skincare thread in /g/, if you'd like to ask any of those nonnas directly for advice. They're certainly better equipped to answer than I am.
Remember to take it step by step, nonna. Rome wasn't built in a day, and your self-esteem can only recover as quickly as you can build it up, and that'll take time. It'll be okay.
hugs No. 1852284
i gotta say, after being a jobless junkie neet getting into the routine of normal life hasn't been the most difficult thing, but the people. every day i am surprised at how fucking mean and evil people normies can be, i've met lot of insane junkies i respect more than them because they haven't been willingly mean spirited bitter evil people. like one day at work i go to talk with my co workers, they sit there all happy together. then other one walks off and the moment she is outside of hearing distance the other starts badmouthing her, what the fuck, such fake snakes some of these people are. it's such a small thing, but these people constantly insult each other behind their backs, they're so judgemental and dismissive of other people's feelings and backgrounds while martyring themselves over how difficult lives they have had. i know they think they think they have had it worse than me, they think i don't get it, they act and say that i don't know how difficult things can be while i've gone through way more extreme shit than them i just don't talk about it much if at all, and they act that since they have had so many difficulties and whatever it gives them the right to hurt other people to make themselves feel better. i often miss the drug binge days with other junkies just because of this, they obviously weren't the most honest people around they and i were junkies it is a fact, but they rarely were this evil and mean to other people.
No. 1884347
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can an ex-neet with communication or other problems talk about what helped you get ahead especially in terms of finding a job? I do freelance work at the moment but I'm still struggling to make enough to save up for the future. I had almost a decade of remedial speech therapy in school and spent years trying to work on it and I've come to realize that I will always sound awful and not be able to properly talk to people. on top of that I do have health issues that make me feel delirious pretty much all the time. I can still do routine tasks though the job hunt has me very discouraged, sometimes I wonder if I can find a gig that I won't fuck up or I'll even be hired for.
No. 1887844
I don't know what to do, I just get so anxious about getting a job, specially because I will have to teach and I don't know if I'm any good at this shit even though I graduated.
I haven't found a job yet in 3 months and everyone at home is losing their patience because getting a job as a teacher should be easy, but it isn't.
Today I will just be a substitute teacher for a few hours, it's the only way anyone wants to hire me, I don't know if it's because I'm young for the career (most people mostly want teachers that are like 50 or 60 years old because students only respect "old" looking people I guess) but I'm not even that young, I will be 30 years old soon, how come I don't seem respectable enough?
The thing is that I'm so anxious right now, I could barely get some sleep, yesterday I was thinking that I wouldn't feel like this if I could just work daily, then I wouldn't worry so much, and yeah I would commit some mistakes but I would learn from them.
But then I think that mistakes aren't just "oops I better delete this archive" I just get anxious because I had shit teachers in high school and to this day I just know that their mistakes basically made me who I am career-wise, I don't want to be the one who is blamed years after because I said a wrong joke or because I didn't say enough examples or because I was too difficult to understand or who knows what else.
I also hate that people barely understand what I say most of the time, this is why I wanted to do something where I could be away from people, working behind some computer with as little interaction with anyone as possible. Like, I have a friend that tells me that I fucking speak in a code, how?I literally just speak normally? and during my internships the kids would also say that they wouldn't understand what I said as in my pronunciation of my own mother tongue is shit? I don't know, I want to kill myself at this point, this isn't what I wanted, I don't want to be a teacher, I don't want to be responsible of any random ass child I didn't give birth to.
No. 1889770
>>1884347Late reply but I just treat all my job related social interactions as a performance. I'm very bad at normal social interactions (diagnosed autist) but great at roleplaying because making up stories about people who aren't me is easy, so I treat my corporate identity as a fictional character I'm acting as. I memorise fancy corpo buzzwords, prepare super in-depth STAR answers (half of which are fully made-up), copy the speech patterns of my more charismatic colleagues, smile all the time and just make shit up when I get asked questions I'm not prepared for.
I feel like once you've observed the corporate performance enough (and you don't have to already work to observe it, there's lots of youtube channels that show mock interviews), you can parrot what you've seen and just smile and people eat it up. Work-related interactions are honestly easier than normal interactions because it's fairly easy to create a script and stick to it since interviews or meetings have specific goals.
I do think my coworkers can see through the mask sometimes (because I slip up when I'm tired and can't always fake excitement as well as I should) and it's a bit soul-crushing, but it got me a job after years of NEETdom and I've been told I'm great at interviews.
No. 1894242
>>1887899maybe you need to look into getting a more engaging job? should my study plans fail i plan to work in a bakery or kitchen so i'm at least moving all day.
a problem for me is hating the people i work with.
No. 1905437
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>ask for job
>expect 0 response
>THEY RESPOND
nonas this is my first ever interview. i don't think i'll be hired but i'm still panicking over it what the fuck do i do i'm too retarded for this
No. 1925418
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I had an interview today and I start work as a carhop on Monday! I'm kinda nervous I haven't had a job in a year and had only stayed for a 4 dsay, im a little nervous.
No. 1929619
>>1928549I've struggled with similar things like you nona, especially the dislike or disinterest in all people around me. I'm still on the journey of escaping myself but I can tell you some things that helped me feel more connected to the world and people around me.
First it helps to change your mindset about other people and develop a stonger sense of empathy or general interest - not that you need to befriend everyone around you and find out their story but just respecting the fact that they have deep inner lives and are probably preoccupied with themselves and their troubles in their minds. Just little things like saying hi to your neighbours and being kind to the people you work with could help you see the warmth that exists within people and might make you feel a bit more normal.
Also it seems you've lost your passion for art but I think you can rediscover it. Doing those small gallery shows is a great first step and you shouldn't put your achievements down. Art is a great way to connect with people and give yourself a purpose. You can look at grants or residencies or projects you can do with other people, there's always opportunities like that and usually the more local they are, the easier it is for you to get in. I think choosing a project to do and focusing on it will help you feel more grounded too.
Art events and projects would also make a great way for you to make friends and people who understand you more. I've always had a better time making friends with other people who are somehow weird or also on the sidelines, and they don't all have to share the same weirdness/interests as you. Generally though people like that are more open to your quirks as well and are more willing to connect with you. There's a range of people between terminally online neets and total normies and you can fall somewhere in between and have a great time. Either way good luck nona, I'm rooting for you.
No. 1931444
>>1928549You're in the online arts scene and work for a lawyer, you're literally surrounded on all sides by emotionally stunted narcissistic retards with inflated egos. It's really not hard to see why you have a hard time making friends with them.
Spend more time offline. Join a local craft group that's more likely to have older normies than histrionic genderkweerz. You'll learn to socialize with normies and they'll probably appreciate your retarded jokes more than someone your own age, or at least they won't get as easily offended by them.
You sound like you need a break from being an online artist specifically. Go to a museum or art gallery and look at paintings that are the opposite of what you normally make. Follow a tutorial in an art style that you're unfamiliar with. Make collages from shitty printer paper and flyers. I've done this when I felt dead inside and my art was stagnating, it worked wonders.
Don't bother scrambling to fix your life. Changes will come at their own pace, slowly, and you'll do more harm than good by rushing into normiedom to tick arbitrary boxes. There's no law saying you need to have more friends, or a relationship, or want to hang out with your coworkers for longer than your contracted hours. Focus on finding out what makes you happy, and work towards that instead.
No. 1934409
I’ve been a NEET for 8 years but some bad shit has happened and I’m about to be homeless. I started a medical coding and billing course a few months ago but due to aforementioned bad shit I can’t wait to finish before trying get a job and idk if I’ll ever be able to finish. I’ve applied for 4 jobs today and hope someone will just give me a chance.
>>1933468A lot of call centers have WFH jobs. Same with customer service for many ISPs.
No. 1934652
>>1933468Please consider that the issue might not be you but your clothing, odors can embed themselves in the fabric and are really resistant to being removed by normal means. Ideas:
>spray the underarm area of clothes with an enzyme based pet odor cleaner like Nature's Miracle>use lysol laundry sanitizer when you wash your clothes>don't use fabric softener, it embeds odors even worse>certain dri is the only deodorant that works, use a little hydrocortisone the first couple of times you use it for any itch>use spray antiperspirant on your feet>use antifungal shampoo on your scalp and body like Head and ShouldersYou can also try things like Swiff applied to your clothes so they stay fresh longer
No. 1978900
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How do you adapt socially? I feel like I'm in this awkward in between state where I no longer fit in with the online loser culture I spent my life in but I don't fit in with normies either. I've grown distant from all my old friends because I changed (for the better) and they haven't, but I can't seem to really get that close to my new real life friends, it feels like we just aren't the same at core. I also feel like I have the social equivalent of a resume gap since I spent most of my life doing jack and shit and can't really relate to people's vibrant lives or bring up personal experiences to share. I'm well-liked but I regularly get perceived as autistic/weird/offbeat (not an imagined insecurity, people literally say this). I don't care about it in the sense that it doesn't matter what people think but it hurts sometimes that I feel like I can't really connect with others even though I can get along with them really well… Does that make sense?
Oh, and I'm dropping out of university, but really struggling to find a job, so I'm sort of scared I'll fall into NEETdom again. I have no credentials besides a high school diploma so I keep getting rejected and I'm worried that I'll regress if I can't get someone to take me soon.
No. 1979724
>>1978900Unfortunately i have no advice because i'm in the same situation except i'm even worse off, because i can't even get along with people well. Like, HOW do you manage to do that, when our life circumstances are so different? I just escaped a decade of social isolation and now i interact with fun and interesting people on a regular basis, and i thought this was BECAUSE our lives are so different, and i have no personal experiences to share??
I'm hoping that as we get older and don't fall back into our old ways, the gap between us and normal people will close and we'll be just like them eventually. Idk tho
No. 1979756
Also. The generic advice that people will give you is to join a sports team or hobby group, something like that. Does anyone here have experience with that?
The thing is, i KNOW that i will be out of place in any group of normies, and i know that i can't hide that there is something wrong with me. If you don't believe me, my boss said that i seem like a traumatized person, and my behaviour hasn't even improved much since i started working there. I don't know if it's a neurological thing that can never get better, or if it is something that would take years to improve. But i still crave the social interaction so badly and completely bored out of my skull also.
They stuff in my city like self defence classes for women, other martial arts for women or dance classes, which seems cool, but if it is a total pipe dream, i don't even want to waste my time on it.
No. 1983737
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>>1714003Not sure if I count because I'm not a NEET yet, but I'm about to be. I'm just looking for advice from someone older/more experienced rn.
From a young age, I never wanted to go to college or even have a job. I had and still have no idea what I want to do. However, neither my mom nor sister completed college and they really wanted me to go. To protest, I told them I'd get a job out of high school.
That didn't really end up happening. I spent about a year NEET-ing until they pressured me to go back to school. I've been going now since fall 2023 and I absolutely hate it. I feel like it's a waste of time and money. I was lucky because I got a scholarship to go to a community college for 2 years free. But I don't really know what I'm going for nor do I have any goals. I just feel like I'm wasting time. My grades aren't even good and I don't know if I would be accepted to transfer to a 4 year.
My bf of 2 years is planning to move to another city for work and offered for me to join him. I feel like this is a good opportunity to start my own life with him. But it also means I'm going to become a NEET again. He is a hard worker (which makes me feel even worse) and offered to take care of me. Says I only have to work/continue school if I want to.
I need help deciding if this is a good idea or not. My family has always been quite awful to me and I suspect the main reason why I can't keep a job or stay in school is because of home pressure/fighting. But I also feel like it's stupid to squander a scholarship like this. But I also don't have any idea of what job I want, let alone career.
Has anyone been in a similar situation? Or could anyone give me advice on finding something that I want to do? Any advice would be treasured. I don't really want to be a NEET again, but I also don't know what else to do.
No. 1983751
>>1738082I'm
>>1983737 and I relate so much to your post. Especially the part about my family starting to think I'm a dead end. There's a lot of pressure on women to be independent these days and I wonder if some of us weren't built that way? I hope you worked things out.
>>1738769I'm NTA you were replying to, but I think that I'm going to try out your advice myself. I think maybe people in these situations are thinking too large and maybe I'm missing the trees for the forest. Thanks.
No. 1984031
I've left neetdom November 2023 when I finally became employed at a school as a sped wrangler. I almost quit twice. I am enjoying having an income the most. I'm able to buy new clothes and shoes, products for hair and skin care, and little things to improve my living space.
Though, I'm still struggling socially. My only best friend passed away at the beginning of December 2023. I've never lost someone close to me and it felt unreal. Getting up to work and do things like everything was normal was…indescribable. There was no one to help me through this grief, not even my family noticed I was suffering that much.
As of now, I've gotten used to the loneliness somewhat. Some days it hurts more. I used to feel painfully awkward and out of place at work. Especially when they're obvious cliques and certain treatment if you are a certain race… But I'm over it because I truly only care about the money. I don't want to stay in that job because it is stressful and gross. They are so understaffed and I felt bad at first, but then they really gave me a difficult kid to handle and left me on my own. It wasn't until he started hitting me(I only agreed to help because he was not violent with me at first) that other coworkers stepped in to help.
I definitely want to leave that place and work with regular kids. Though I'm wondering if I should become a full-time to get health insurance and paid time off…
I did want to get into tech fields…It's been hell trying to educate myself. I try studying from YT videos/books/apps but I keep subconsciously self-sabotaging by getting distracted and not staying consistent. Idk if its that I doubt myself that much or I need more structure and guidance.
It feels like I'm running out of time. Even if I work and save money and take care of myself, its never enough. I still live with my family and who knows when my living situation can change. I want to be self-sufficient and normal so I can meet like-minded people, make friends, have a lover, etc… But I still feel like I'm too slow. It's my fault I'm in this game of catch-up. I'm trying to make smarter moves but I'm so alone in all of this. My only friend used to guide me so much and she is no longer here.
In the end, all I try to focus on each day is not making things worse. I don't have to make major steps/progress each day, but I shouldn't slack off and make things harder on myself. I just miss being hopeful and passionate about the future…
No. 1986034
Uh, what do you do about acquaintances like coworkers noticing that you're a weirdo with no friends or social life? Like when they ask what you did on the weekends and you never say anything about friends, or doing things by yourself that people normally do with others, like going to a concert? Sometimes I just want to yell "I'm a loser with no friends!!! And here's the reason why:…!!" and have it over with, because clearly they put two and two together by now, but still I can't just SAY it, so I feel like I have to hide something all the time.
>>1985953That sounds great. Do you mind sharing some of the specific things that you did?
No. 1986062
>>1986034I lie. The drawback is that it's hard to make new connections because supposedly you already have friends.
>>1986043>Usually I'll just turn the conversation around and ask them questions about what they did, lots of people are happy to talk about themselves at length so they quickly move on from wondering about meThis is a great skill and very very true. Most people aren't genuinely interested in you, they just want to make small talk, so you give them a plausible answer and then turn the conversation back around to them. People love to talk about themselves, especially if you know how to ask questions to keep them going.
No. 1986342
File: 1714508090021.jpg (46.91 KB, 564x462, 650f04a7bc8eeb71b60ae465e9f1f5…)
I really don't want to move out of my parents' house. The thought that I'll have to do it at some point is terrifying to the point of being debilitating. I am literally unlovable to a stranger (retarded, asexual, no college education, no ambitions); besides, is it even love when the person can one day decide you're too much and just up and leave your life forever? I hate to admit it, but I sometimes quietly envy the people who had bad childhoods, were forced to grow up quickly and became independent as soon as they turned 18. My parents are the absolute best and have always supported me, but I feel like I haven't actually matured emotionally, I feel the same way in my mid 20's that I did when I was 14. I hate the nuclear family model, I hate that the only thing that awaits me is bleak loneliness. I just want to be loved so bad.