File: 1693814341630.png (1.57 MB, 1110x1106, tism_cat.png)
No. 1687145
Previous threads:
>>>/ot/1438835>>>/ot/1198440>>>/ot/586560Discuss anything pertaining to Autism, Aspergers or ADHD/ADD experiences as a woman here.
Talk about the difficulty of diagnosis as a woman, the struggles with being compared to male autists. Or even discuss the recent uptick in autism diagnoses in online mental health communities like Tiktok.
No. 1687174
File: 1693818107663.jpeg (56.54 KB, 543x429, IMG_2201.jpeg)
I know this is a common topic that gets discussed here often but autism fakers make me wanna go apeshiiit. A huge portion of the online “autism” community try to deny it ever happens and are against “fake-claiming”. They say it’s gatekeeping or talk about how you can’t really be sure if someone is faking or not. Idk I feel like it’s okay to gatekeep for marginalized groups being taken over by people who aren’t actually struggling and constantly talk over us and spread misinformation. I don’t like self-diagnosis culture and I don’t consider it valid. I hate TikTok so much for what it’s done in the past few years.
No. 1687342
>>1687174It was rampant on tumblr too before tiktok. It's not gatekeeping to have strict lines of diagnosis for a mental disability. It's the self diagnosed who spread misinformation and harm the actual autists.
I've frankly never met a real autist who's genuinely upset someone couldn't tell they were autistic, yet every online autist thinks "you don't look autistic" is a huge massive insult. I've had people tell me that and if anything it was nice to know I'm high functioning enough to be stealth sometimes lol
No. 1687378
>>1687174>>1687342Even before Tumblr, forums were wrassling with allowing self-dx or not. I was on wrongplanet, not tumblr, when I first got an inkling I might be autistic and wanted to bring it up to my psych. There was a lot of arguing about it back in the day, but there have always been people who wanted to lower the boundaries. Which isn’t necessarily bad, if you ve done your research and are open to the possibility you don’t have autism, after all.
Tumblr and tiktok made it worse by popularizing or wholesale making shit up about autism (and adhd but I don’t know about that community) that went viral. Every character is now autism coded! Every symptom could be an autism symptom! Differential diagnosis doesn’t exist! And autism became an identity and not a condition, so now telling someone their problem might be something else means youre threatening their sense of self.
No. 1688121
File: 1693901116370.jpg (18.19 KB, 512x399, edward_hopper_automat.width-60…)
I feel like my ADHD prevents me from fully mastering anything. When I tried learning to drive, my performance was completely random, one day I would drive like I had done it for years, then the day after I could not even notice signs that I drove by a million times before. Same with drawing, I could just never improve consistently. And I also suspect that this is what makes me feel like the perpetual 'new colleague' even if I worked someplace for literal years. Like, one day I work just fine and then I forget basic stuff that I did a million times before and have to be explained everything and people look at me as if I was an alien. Can anyone relate to this? Can this be improved or fixed in any way?
No. 1688134
>>1688121I don't have ADHD but I have performance fear so I convince myself I don't know how to do something unless I'm 100% sure of how to do it. When I do something new I immediately take notes (as soon as it's appropriate) in my phone on how to do it, especially the parts I know I might forget or worry about later.
For example, the last person to leave work should set the alarm, and it's rare that I'm last so I don't have to do it more than a couple of times a year. I know I'll forget how to do it and start thinking along the lines of "which button do I press first again? Or was that just for when turning it off and not on? Was the code really what I think it is?" and I get stressed to the point of tears. So I've written down exactly what I need to know, as directly as possible.
It's something like:
>Alarm code for work, set when you're the last person to leave for the day.>the code is 0000>To turn ON the alarm press X then the code. Done.>To turn OFF the alarm, press just the code. Done.It's probably not as easily applied for ADHD or things like driving, but at least for me it helps a bit so I don't have to ask again and again how to do something. No one thinks anything of it if I just quickly look at my phone, everyone else is glued to theirs anyway.
Is there anything you can identify as a factor that causes it? Like does a lack of sleep affect it, or not eating enough, stress, too much stimulation, not enough stimulation…? Personally I've noticed my brain function goes down by A LOT if I haven't eaten (proper food, not just sugary snacks lol) it's literally a night and day difference. If I don't eat my brain will struggle with even the simplest math like 17+16 so I always eat breakfast first thing in the morning no matter what.
No. 1689359
>>1689066Yeah, I wonder what the next "cute" trend will be that suddenly everyone will reveal they've been doing all along becuause they're sooo autistic! Someone will make a video going "did you know autistic women actually (
checks notes) can't tell left from right, it's totally an autistic thing and I didn't just make it up right now" and all the tiktokers will be tripping over themselves with videos like "teehee went to grab the coffe mug but accidentally used the left hand even though i'm right handed, I'm so autistic!"
Sometimes I daydream about starting trends like that, then collecting all the videos of people doing/confirming it for me and making a big compliation where I reveal it was all made up bs. Like a short documentary kind of thing. We know social contagion is real and I'd like to document a lie spreading in real time, commenting like "this is the first person who took the bait, her page is only about the autism she claims to have", "this person is a psychologist who claims to be an expert in autism and she confirms for me that my made up fact is totally a thing she's seen in patients". Would be fun to catch them all red handed. (Feel free to steal this idea).
No. 1689471
>>1688085I have the opposite problem where they refuse to let me even TRY a proper anti anxiety med because god forbid I haven't tried mindfulness for the 100th time.
Like yes I know it won't fix my autism but please I just want to not stress out 24/7 is that too much to ask.
No. 1689526
>>1689447>>having a hard time following conversations (I misinterpret things here and there)Laugh about yourself: "omg, I didn't get that, haha" and continue the conversation.
>>not knowing when a joke is appropriate to sayI would only joke with close friends or family, unless you have confirmed that joke is appropriate beforehand.
>>bad at regulating emotionsCognitive behavioural therapy
>>how to join friend groups at the start or middle of events (e.g. joining a workplace with established friend circles already)Say: "hello, would you all like to do something one day?" Or: "hey, can I join your table today?". Ask but don't impose.
>>how to interact with people you do not relate to in the slightestSay hello and ask them questions about themselves
>>it's hard to tell what someone is thinking/feeling sometimesFocus on identifying the main emotion (happy, sad or angry) and then you can ask them from there
>>breaking out of bad routines/rigid thought processesRoutines, videos in YouTube. Rigid thinking, with a psychologist.
>>I want to become a normieYou won't.
No. 1690499
>>1689471Anti anxiety meds honestly don't do much, I feel like they either work by turning you into a zombie (not in a good way) or they just don't really do anything. There's no quick-fix cure to anxiety, fixing your life and the things that make you anxious is the real solution. Getting rid of 1 single
toxic friend cured me of a big chunk of anxiety I didn't even know I had.
Sure they should let you try it, but I'm glad you're at least not like my friends who are joking about their "pill cocktails" they take every single day. They're so used to thinking pills solve their problems that it scares me. Then they all complain about things like "I feel so sluggish these days", "I can't concentrate". They didn't struggle with those things before as much so I suspect it's all the meds.
With that said I was forced to do mindfulness and I was genuinely open to it, but I found it didn't work at all. Because they always kind of assumed my anxiety was "panic attacks" and "catastrophizing" the way (I think) it works for most normal people. Like for example you think maybe you did one tiny mistake at work, so now your boss hates you, he will yell at you and fire you and you'll be homeless so now you're crying hysterically, can't breathe and think you will die.
But that's not it for me, what gave me anxiety was kind of the uncertainty of not knowing how to do things or how to deal with them. It wasn't that I thought things would literally end up killing me. I didn't need to breath slower and calm down, I needed a physical solution to the physical problem.
It felt like if the pipes in my house were leaking and I asked them to stop the water because I didn't know how to stop it myself, and all they did was to tell me to "just calm down and accept that your house is getting water damage". So for me practical approaches and what actions to take would have been actually helpful. I've anecdotally heard this is true for autists, that "normal" therapy doesn't usually work on us.
No. 1690509
>>1689447>having a hard time following conversations (I misinterpret things here and there)I like other anons advice, just kind of be honest that you didn't get it and laugh it off. Don't be over-apologetic over it (unless you actually caused someone to be hurt) because it's super annoying and uncomfortable when people are self-loathing.
>not knowing when a joke is appropriate to sayAvoid jokes that are sexual, violent, too political, about poop/farts, has to do with race, being gay etc…
Silly puns are nearly always ok kek
>how to interact with people you do not relate to in the slightestSee them as an opportunity to learn about another type of person. Maybe you'll find something to relate to through talking, or if you don't and you dislike them you don't have to talk to them after this time
>it's hard to tell what someone is thinking/feeling sometimesMost people appreciate a casual "hi how are you today?" (i don't, but I'm a sperg) so you can get a clue from their answer.
>breaking out of bad routines/rigid thought processesI find it helps to focus on just 1 thing at a time to improve on. Fixing it all at once is gonna be too hard. Either start with the easiest thing OR start by fixing your sleep pattern because everything else is SO much harder when you're not getting enough sleep. Be really stern with yourself with just this one thing until you get the habit fixed.
Normies aren't normal either nona. They have their own weird quirks and problems, you'd just be struggling with a different thing instead.
No. 1695172
>>1692529I don't think of it as masking, but whenever I have to be "professionally polite" I try to mimic exactly how I've seen my friend do it. She wasn't an autist and was pretty rude and obnoxious in private, but could easily switch into "polite work mode" to trick people into thinking she was super nice. So since I saw it as her "acting" as a normie I never thought me also doing the polite act was anything weird or autism-masking but just the normal thing to do.
It feels odd and kind of fake, but I also sometimes enjoy that I have a "script" to follow that I know is acceptable to the world so I don't have to worry about it.
No. 1695380
>>1695172Thanks nonna.
Yes, I do that too, I try to repeat what other people do. I've read tons of books to learn2integrate (kek) but still, it's absolutely exhausting and, still, I'm awkward and it's noticeable.
It seems that I look like a very "intense" person while talking to others when, in reality, I'm quite the opposite and I don't care about their lives. Maybe what happen is that my acting is really bad and I overdo it.
I feel really lonely, tbh.
No. 1696520
Help nonnies, I have the tism or am I just retarded? I'm actually starting to consider a diagnosis or at least a screening because that would explain so fucking much and I'm so, so tired to be described as "weird". I know you can't diagnose me but do I fit somewhere, at least for a bit?
>Can't stand textures or the sight of certain foods, I won't eat soups because I don't like to eat liquid things, it makes my jaw tickle and cringe
>I can't tie my shoes, do my bed, hang out clothes, cut paper…basically anything that requires a certain set of coordinate movements, I don't drive for the same reason, I know I would be dangerous both for me and others. Early in my childhood, teachers told me I was dyxpraxic. Can't also do math other than the basics.
>My face expressions are really flat, to the point people ask me if I'm sad or annoyed, I learned to reply "it's just my face" instead of forcing myself to smile or anything else because that makes me feel terrible, I don't like to fake emotions (this got me some troubles at work)
>Can't stand the heat because I can't sleep when it's hot, I need a shitton of blankets and pillows to sleep properly. I'm always tired and grumpy in summer because of this. Sweating makes me vomit from the sensation on my skin.
>Hyperfixated with all things blue. I even painted my house walls blue.
>I have no idea how to express love or affection, I like to give gifts thought. Made my dad cry once because he told me I never told him that I loved him (note: he's a nice dad, not abusive nor manipulative)when for me it's…obvious? Why do you need me to tell you? Can't you just feel it, by the way I spend time with you?
>Absolutely fucking hate drill noises and church bells, I scream like an eagle when I hear these noises. I avoid walking inside the city for that when I know there are some worksites.
>trivial and obvious, I have nerdy and niche interests. Anime, comics but also maximalist designer fashion and perfumes.
>I'm synestetic and I have a great sensorial memory. I can recall entire days from idk, the taste of a plate or smelling a certain laundry detergent.
I'm almost 27 and thatwould explain a lot, I'm tired to feel weird and trying to fit it's painful because it's like I have to act being a normie, like actual acting (I have to remember myself to like, greet people when I walk to a supermarket , I don't do it because I feel superior it's just not natural to me if I don't know people I don't greet them.). I do not want to be justified nor I want some documents to escape better some behaviours of mine, in fact I know I need help, I just want an explanation on why I don't feel "normal" in a bad way…
No. 1696755
>>1696520you sound very autistic I don't know why you're even asking us
>and I'm so, so tired to be described as "weird".a diagnosis doesn't change that, you're still gonna be a weirdo nona. just a weird autist
No. 1696930
>>1696412There is an autistic society here. I tried to go a couple of times but I chickened out. I'll contact again, for real this time. Thanks nonna.
>>1696755>>you're still gonna be a weirdo nona. just a weird autistKek
No. 1698085
>>1687622Try books by Dr Temple Grandin. She's autistic and extremely talented for revolutionizing some agricultural industry machinery to be more efficient and humane among other things. She talks about being disregarded as a woman, about being autistic and many other things. She's very successful but she's also extremely…well, autistic. In her writing. It's comforting for those who mask well and have life externally together or are successful in some ways but still struggle a lot in others. I also enjoyed "fall down seven times get up eight" by Naoki Higashida. He's nonverbal and has a very convoluted way of communicating with others but he wrote two books using that method and his thoughts are very interesting.
I haven't read this one but Ten Steps to Nannette is by a "queer" female author and playwright with both ADHD and Autism she talks about misogeny and her experiences as well.
No. 1698347
>>1687174I don't talk about being autistic anymore since that shit started. It's actually the same for so many other traits or disorders. Literally every damn user wants to be that too despite never dealing with the consequences of it.
When awareness about autism was on the rise in the 00s things finally got better for me and I even met people that understood that me not chatting with them or overlooking them at work wasn't a sign of arrogance but autism.
Then the fakers appeared fucking everywhere and now autism means jackshit to the majority. Actually the very people that claim to be autists (and 12 other things) will attack you for not fitting in and accuse you of bullshit. I don't even know anything about tiktok but wouldn't wonder if it was even worse than tumblr.
>gatekeeping I see this a lot and it's damn stupid. You gatekeep a fandom, not a disability. But this shows what they consider autism as. A fandom, a club they want to be part of to make themselves seem more special in their tumblr bio.
No. 1698667
>>1698486You described most of the relationships I had. I can't deal with my own shit, but still people trust me with theirs, and I cannot handle it.
>>1698347I understand what you say but, at least for me, it's a relief that now there is more knowledge and education about autism, specially regarding women. I still have faced difficulties with certain health professionals, but the fact that is everywhere I think it is, after all, beneficial.
No. 1701034
>>1698119>how can I get my bf help for his undiagnosed autism?Either he goes to therapy and makes serious efforts to stop and get better, or you leave him. I'm tired of men who wallow in self-pity while doing nothing. Don't get overly reliant on meds, although they may help for a little bit. If he's functioning enough that he can get by without a diagnosis it could possibly even work with just normal therapy. But therapy only works if he himself is open and motivated to actually do it.
It's not fair to you that you have to watch someone you love harm themselves. Of course that will to a self-harmer sound like "but what about ME ME ME" when they're celarly in mental distress lol but if he's not making serious effort to stop then he can't complain about it. You shouldn't have to accept him hurting himself.
What if you want kids one day? Even if your answer is "I don't want kids" you realistically and statistically might change your mind one day. What do you think it would do to the kids seeing their dad self-harm? It would fuck them up.
No. 1702240
File: 1695167193027.png (14.31 KB, 275x248, IMG_7404.png)
>autistic
>most other autism girls I know bond over special interests
>range anywhere from anime to titanic to dinosaurs to lewds
>my special interest is 9/11
Nobody wants to hear my 9/11 sperging. I’m not even a conspiracy theory nut job who thinks it wasn’t real, I just know cool facts about how it effected the world.
No. 1702304
File: 1695172127872.png (2.5 MB, 2120x1416, 1688194440854.png)
>>1702240Take up art and you'll definitely find a community of 9/11 autists to sperg with
No. 1702625
File: 1695219872585.png (167.73 KB, 500x375, e624b34a-2b90-4b72-b1d0-ccb2be…)
Got an appointment with a neuro scheduled to investigate the possibility of me having autism and/or ADHD and I just want this to be dealt with already. The idea that I might get a diagnosis in a way is so fucking frustrating tho, because I'm already so old and what I'm supposed to do with it now, it's not like it'll retroactively fix all the times I needed help growing up and led me to be such a fuck up. The only thing to look up to is maybe getting some medication to help me with my attention span so I will finally be able to study.
No. 1704235
>>1702637>geneticsi think this scares people because to them it borders on racism, or their own inevitable genetic flaws and diseases. my autist brother likes to talk about genetic differences and it makes normies very uncomfortable even though he's just neutrally presenting data
>>1703152kek come on nona she could be interested in it being a scam in 99.9% of cases and people falling for it which would be interesting to hear about.
No. 1706424
File: 1695593204851.jpeg (241.33 KB, 1196x1600, E7A77759-C1B5-4E35-8B8E-13BB03…)
>>1702240Don’t worry, I have fluctuating a hyperfixation on presidential assassinations. It makes me feel like a massive psycho. I have no desire to kill a president, not even Trump.
I never talk about them with anyone. I did it maybe once with my friend, but that was it. I just acted like it was something I heard on a true crime podcast.
No. 1706695
>>1706424Gender ideology stuff is a hyperfixation of mine atm, to the point that I've watched real srs surgery videos to see how it's actually performed and it's hard to talk to normies like
>"yeah so they cut up along the shaft and then turn the skin of the penis inside out to create a canal-" lc is one of the few places I can talk about it because most other people who are "into" gender are part of the cult and don't accept facts, logic and reality. Nor are they extremely against the ideology like I am lol
No. 1709183
>>1709151Most of them don't actually have ADHD. I've had it since I was a kid and would do anything to get rid of it.
They portray it as this random ecks dee quirky thing where you yell "squirrel!" in the middle of a sentence and think not being able to focus without subway surfers, family guy and an ~oddly satisfying~ video on the sides is totes ADHD.
The reality is my working memory is shit and I can't recollect anything from 5 secs ago if you ask me. It takes me 3x as long to get anything done, I'm borderline unemployable and with the jobs I do get I have to pray extra hard that they will be somewhat suitable for my condition and that I won't get fired for "slacking off" because I went to piss too many times or sounded unintelligent/rude. I need a tard wrangler or extreme pressure to get anything done, people think I'm retarded and rude because my mind wanders mid-conversation and they notice, I unintentionally flake on a lot of things, I can't keep friends because my time management skills suck and I forget to message back, I have the emotional regulation of a toddler and though I keep a poker face in public I start kicking and screaming like a toddler when I get home. On top of everything I'm clumsy, fidgety, over-expressive with my face and move like a retard just like
>>1707563. People can smell my weirdness from space and avoid me like a leper.
I fucking
wish ADHD was quirky and cute and I was an adorable manic pixie instead of a mentally impaired woman in her late 20s that everyone finds annoying because it's no longer adorable when you're not a little kid.
No. 1709293
>>1709183I feel you!
I feel like the ADHD adults only have a certain set of symptoms, mosty the short attention span and hyperfocus.
Not all this other shit, that I struggle most with (short tempered, mood swings, coming off as an idiot to others).
Awful are also those neurodivergent 'allies' that treat you like a retard. Fuck off with your spoons and your body doubling shit.
No. 1709333
>>1709109the tweens who make videos on TikTok about being random and quirky equals ADHD don't have it and contribute to people not recognizing ADHD as a
valid illness. It's nothing cute or adorable, it feels like having dementia or Alzheimers, you forget important things people told you a million times, you cannot follow conversations because you zone out and you make incredibly retarded mistakes at work which makes your managers look at you as if you were insane. Habits also don't stick and it feels impossible to do anything consistently which makes forming hobbies almost impossible
No. 1709444
I need to vent.
So I was referred to get tested for ADHD, my referral was accepted immediately (very rare in my country, usually takes months) and I was given a psychologist who was an ADHD specialist who was considering sending me to a neuropsycholist. Sadly, she had to take a sick leave right before giving me the diagnosis, but she was talking about it like I had it, and was even discussing treatment/medication to me. Now, I've been given a freshly educated moid who has no experience with adhd whatsoever outside fo his textbooks, and he completely dismisses everything the specialist had said and wants to diagnose me from scratch his way. And he is really doubting me, despite the literal in-house specialist being almost completely sure.
I fucking hate moids, why are they so arrogant. Like he doesnt even look at me when im there, how can he diagnose me when he is missing all the symtoms I display in front of him?? Why does he think he knows better than the literal specialist?
No. 1709777
Sorry I will just vent here before leaving the board site of the internet for 2 weeks. I'm 99% sure I will die alone. Nobody wants to live with retards like me and help us except parents who often help adult, low functioning autists. But I don't have parents and when my mother was still alive she was abusive anyway. I'm pathetic. I developed certain motor skills later than other kids, I never bathed by myself until I was 13 and never washed my own hair until I was 15. I can't really explain why, my mother was always helping me with this and it never occured to me to do it alone and I had absolute meltdown when I had to learn to do it on my own. Now as a full adult, I'm constantly neglecting myself, not eating regularly or not eating at all because I simply forget to eat, I forget to drink water, I don't have the strenght to take a bath, I just don't think about that stuff. I never met a female autist who was as bad as me and also didn't have a below average IQ, so I don't understand why I'm acting like a vegetable in the most basic areas of life. School was so traumatizing for me that after graduating HS I didn't even wanted to try to get into the uni even though my art teacher wanted me to go to art uni really bad. I had to traumatize myself to survive at work. People only like me because I learned to mask, basically never showing to them my true personality, just being the "quiet shy girl who knows lots of random facts". I only have meltdowns in the bathroom and not in front of my coworkers. I bash my skull with my fist and punch walls and stuff. But there are moments when I'm sure I'm going to break in front of everyone and they will lock me up. I see people my age in stable relationships, renting or buying apartments, living together etc. And I know I will never have this. People are surprised that I don't have a boyfriend but it's only because they don't actually know how bad it is, and they don't know the actual me. Honestly I would love to be with someone but I'm not able to function as a normal adult, like it's either work or taking care of myself and my house. I can't do both because I simply don't have the energy to do both. If I'm working, I only go to sleep and wake up and go to work and that's all I do. Sometimes I order take out. Only when I have some free time, like during weekends or vacations, I can do stuff like cooking, taking a bath, brushing my teeth, doing anything related to my hobbies, doing laundry, just not being a total unhinged slob leaving dirty underwear and trash on my floor. I'm surprised I don't stink tbh. I'm an extremely light sleeper so I'm pretty sure that I wouldn't be able to sleep with someone in one bed during my working days, only on the weekends. I wish I just had someone who, besides doing fun activities together, would take care of me, cook food for me, remind me to take a bath etc. But that's probably something only parents do for you, not adult partners. I can barely take care of myself, I wouldn't be able to take care of someone else. I could never have kids, and most normal people want to have them. I'm so, so scared of unmaskig in front of people, showing them that I have even a slight problem with something "normal" always ends up with "You really have a problem with something as simple as this? Come on, you're smart" etc. I only once had a meltdown in front of my aunt after a stressful day at work because I just couldn't hold it anymore, and she literally just left me alone there without saying anything and she went home. And I know that's how most people would behave around me if they saw the true me. They would be too ashamed to be associated with me. They would leave me just like my mother and grandmother would always leave when I was crying, never even trying to comfort me or focus my attention or something else or anything. So what's the point of even trying to become friends with anyone, not to mention finding a partner, when people only tolerate and "like" me when I'm masking and faking, which costs me huge amounts of energy? And then, after some time of masking, always comes the burnout, when I'm literally too tired to even speak to people, when the sound of human voices makes me angry, and they're like "Why are you not talking, not even saying hi or bye to anyone, you know that's rude right? Are you angry or something?" etc. I just can't do it forever, I'm so tired. I'm finally having 2 weeks of vacation right now and instead of going somewhere like normal people, I will literally just lock myself in my house, not talking to anyone and not going anywhere. Not even interacting with people online, only watching anime, drawing and playing BG3. I wish someone could hold me sometimes. Someone like me shouldn't even dare to dream about a normal, cute guy. And yet I dream about having someone like this and being taken care of by that person. I can have this only in my daydreams with my husbandos I guess..
No. 1710979
>>1709499Its creepy as hell. He has looked at me a total of 4 times. Two times to say hi and two times to say bye. How can he diagnose me with a serious condition if he cant even look at me to observe how I act?
I'm going to call and complain on monday. He isn't qualified at all to deal with my issues and its seriously concerning that he doesnt realise that himself. Like my first one, first thing she said was that if she needed to, she would refer me to someone even more qualified than her. And he doesn't even want to listen to his more qualified coworkers. I honestly feel sicker than I've felt in years just from the two sessions I've had with him.
Men shouldn't be working in mental health care imo, too many of them lack any sort of ability to put themselves in others position and ability to self reflect, which are crucial when working with other peoples mental health.
No. 1711034
>>1711028I cant, its public health care. I can only request to change therapists, with no guarantees.
I will request a meeting with the leadership though, and bring my boyfriend. And if that doesnt work, I'll make an appointment with my gp and bring my boyfriend as my witness, so that my gp can write a letter.
No. 1711399
>>1711351that's straight up bullying by giving you a backhanded compliment intended to upset you, hope you reported it.
Or give her one back that's like "you're really good at leaving backhanded compliments". But then she might take it as you're in on the joke so there might be a better way to word it
No. 1711632
>>1709777Hello
nonnie! I know you said you were going to be off for 2 weeks, but I'm here (thought this is an anonymous site, but still, I'm here).
Your problem is not your autism, it's that you were in a situation of abandonment during your childhood so, without treating that trauma, you are not prepared to stay in a healthy relationship. That can change, through good therapy and time.
I've never had those difficulties while I was a kid, but as an adult, I encounter multiple difficulties while taking care of myself, as you mentioned before.
I think you said you have a job and that you live alone. That is huge, not everyone is able to do that, so congrats.
I hope you are feeling better after your vacation. Take care!
No. 1713551
File: 1696258518483.jpg (70.86 KB, 1200x1168, sotce.jpg)
Has anyone just given up on masking?
No. 1713574
File: 1696259234240.jpg (39.1 KB, 564x857, boo.jpg)
Anyone else just, tired, of mental health services? I'm in the EU so I don't need to pay but I'm just so tired of the endless waiting lists, only to be told my problems aren't specific enough (I mostly just want someone to talk to but apparently that's impossible!!) and I've even straight up been told I'm a "difficult client". Let me be clear about that part, it was by a wonderful psychologist I wish I could have again, and she mentioned my struggles in finding good help were because I don't make for an easy insurance claim basically. Honestly I'm grateful she was open in mentioning that to me because it explained a lot and why every time I end up anywhere they try to make me do another fucking mindfulness course.
>>1713551I don't feel like I ever properly masked anyway if I'm honest. It's so hard for me not to go off into a tangent while talking, and I'm super talkative in general. Mostly I've just gone into becoming more and more of a recluse. Trying to get out of that but honestly no idea how.
No. 1715947
>>1715885Because women are nicer, have more compassion and are more forgiving than men. So women (both autist and non-autist) end up giving autist men a chance more than men give odd women a chance.
But I have the same problem as you, either autists or creepy much older men who want to take advantage of me are the only ones showing interest despite my friends saying I'm conventionally pretty. I might give dating a fellow autist a go though, there's one that's interested who has been far more respectful of my boundaries than any normie man I've come across. Besides, my special interests are childish looking to normies and as a fellow autist he doesn't really judge that.
No. 1718025
File: 1696615749002.jpeg (66.91 KB, 1179x1131, AA7C0E4B-1AF1-4949-98A1-CE9AE2…)
I thought I studied hard for an exam but I ended up absolutely bombing it. I honestly wouldn't be surprised if I ended up scoring the lowest out of the 200 people in this class. I even skipped classes to "study" for it. Any other nonas have this problem in the past? I don't know what to do to get past it. No matter how hard I think I'm studying I still end up failing. I guess I just don't know how to actually study since I usually don't have to for other subjects. I just want to be a better student. This is for a C++ class if that helps with advice.
No. 1718095
>>1718067It's a C++ class. The practice exam was a good representative of the actual exam as it was formatted the same way– 5 questions where you had to build a program according to the scenario given. On the practice exam there was only one question that I could actually answer, so I studied to know how to answer the other questions.
It felt like all that I studied just flew out of my head during the actual exam. I found myself just staring at the screen reading the same question over and over again. We were even allowed cheat sheets but it felt like everything I wrote was just not useful. It's not even that everyone struggled either. The class average was a 74. I got a 16. I'm actually positive I scored the lowest now, but the lowest grade shown was a 0 (which was probably someone who didn't even take it).
No. 1718146
>>1713551Yeah, I realized I act more like a sperg when I pretend I'm not one so I stopped pretending, sort of like this anon
>>1714027. Helps that I'm in a field where ADHD and ASD are very common and everyone is prone to being spazzy/abrupt with inappropriate humour outbursts.
Also, many of the 'disruptive' symptoms can be disguised as normal shit and no one will ever be the wiser. Food aversions? Allergies or a special diet. Need to get up and move frequently? You care about your joint health and it helps you stay alert. Noise/light sensitivities? Headache
triggers, or you just prefer to work when it's quiet. Need time to yourself to focus? So does literally everyone else on the planet, and the common corporate trick is to schedule a fake meeting block in Outlook so everyone knows to leave you the fuck alone for that time period. It may seem deceptive, but reframing things this way helped me feel less like a freak and more like a person who has needs, just like anyone else. As a result, I feel less pressure to mask and be 'normal', as I know I'm really not doing anything weird if I'm just taking care of myself and managing my symptoms.
No. 1718777
>>1718734I mean, literally nothing will happen if you do get an autism diagnosis, you don’t have to take any medication for it, you won’t have to do anything in general, you can still get a job (as long as you don’t say you’re autistic because most people think that mean’s you’re retarded) You would just know that your brain is wired differently and that’s it.
Specially now that you’re not a child. To me, an autism diagnosis is only important during childhood tbh, once you’re a teenager and you either learn how to mask or assume you’re just a weirdo with no friends for the rest of your life, it doesn’t matter because there’s nothing that can be done.
You already developed whatever stims that makes you feel better, you already have special interests or not, you won’t stop thinking that some textures are gross or that some things shouldn’t touch others with therapy and so on.
If it makes you feel legit distress, then just don’t even think about getting a diagnosis, like what for? Maybe if you suspect you had something like ADHD or OCD that actually can make your life a living hell and that can actually get corrected with medication, but otherwise it’s like having a really unnecessary label on your forehead that makes you feel self-conscious, uncomfortable and awkward around anyone who knows that you’re autistic.
No. 1718837
File: 1696698639874.jpg (88.05 KB, 600x634, DAJYVA_VoAAMBCD.jpg)
To my bullied-in-school nonas, how did you reacted to the bullying? And how severe it was?
When I was in school the kids use to call me names (to be expected) sometimes they tackled me or even took pictures of me and they would share it around in their groups. The thing is, when they where insulting me or shit, my dumbass wouldn't do anything about it, I would just freeze like picrel and wait for it to be over. Is that normal behavior?
Hilariously, at first I thought the where joking around with me but when my mom saw it she went "can't you see they are making fun of you?" So I noticed they weren't joking as I thought kekkkk
No. 1719062
>>1718837I don't recall most of my primary school education thanks to it, and I also got bullied for the entirety of middle school.
I'd say it was pretty bad, if not just for the fact I started to fully self isolate by middle school as I just assumed everyone hated me. It got to the point where I did 4 person group projects alone because I so often sat and did work alone and the teachers were fine with it.
In hindsight I wished they forced a group to let me join, because it's kind of insane to just let a depressed 15 year old self-isolate within a classroom, even after the bullying had mostly stopped.
No. 1719076
>>1718837switching this around so it makes more sense kek
>how severe it was?it was a lot of name calling, exclusion and laughing at everything i did. it happened in the early 2000s so there were no phones with cameras back then, so thankfully no videos or pictures were taken. they bullied me for being fat, poor and stupid. looking back, i wasn't even fat, i was just a bit chubby and probably would have lost the weight with another growth spurt. getting bullied so severely made me stop going outside after i was an outside kid for all my life. i ate all my feelings and got fat for real so i got bullied even more. at one point they also spread rumors that my dad was black because he was very tan. funnily enough, one kid who was part of the group spreading that rumor was black himself. i thought the rumor was so stupid that i didn't even react to it so they dropped it after a few days.
>how did you reacted to the bullying?i just didn't understand why they were doing this. i tried to ignore them but i often ended up crying because the comments were so mean. sometimes i asked them why they took such an issue with my body/my mom being a single mom without much money and they would just laugh in my face and continue to insult me. one time i punched a girl and she tried to run to the teacher and cry about it, but the teacher just told her to shut up and didn't care. all in all i wish i had punched more people.
No. 1719133
>>1718837>how did you reacted to the bullying? At first I didn’t understand what was happening, I would try to become friends with the bullies (all of the grade I was studying at and some older or even younger kids) because that was what cartoons and sometimes my family told me was what I needed to do in order to stop the bullying. It didn’t work btw.
>And how severe it was?From being called names and racist slurs, to being hit, slapped, spit on, pushed (specially when I fucked up my foot and I had to use crutches) isolated for a whole school year (I became anxious at social settings and now I go non-verbal when I get too anxious/stressed) I also would get my shit stolen, vandalized and broken, and I never had groups to do group assignments, everyone would get mad and whine because they would have to work with me in so way or another.
So yeah, school was shit and affected me horribly until I managed to learn how to mask when I was 16 years old.
No. 1719313
>>1718837>how severe it wasDepends on the bullying. For me it was a chain reaction, girls bullied me first then boys did too because of the girls. Boy bullying was making fun of me for being poor and a gypsy, pointing and laughing, sometimes throwing a snowball at my face, that type of thing. I didn't really care about it and they stopped eventually.
Girl bullying was a lot worse because it was hard to prove and I couldn't do anything about it. I was gosipped about, they did that thing where they whisper to each other just loud enough for me to hear and look and me and giggle a lot, then call me paranoid and narcissistic when I tell them to stop because not everything is about me. They excluded me from a lot of things on purpose, made fun of my clothes, played weird mind games all the time, invited everyone in class but me to their birthdays, and then when I started high school they went to the same one and spread rumors about me to all the freshmen in our classes so nobody would be friends with me.
>how did you reacted to the bullying?I tried to fight them but got a warning for violent behavior since they weren't physically harming me and did nothing according to the principal. Of course, the girls always denied everything and cried on cue in the principal's office and I didn't because I got beaten at home if I cried. In high school I gave up and stopped caring, the bullying stopped when I graduated pretty much.
No. 1724579
File: 1697155307271.jpeg (59.84 KB, 720x404, no.jpeg)
Amerinonnies why are adult diagnostic assessments for autism so expensive. So many places won't take my insurance. I don't want to self-diagnose, I don't want to lie, I don't want to unintentionally be a faker. I just want answers. I'm looking for a second job to afford the $2500-5000 dollars I'll need
No. 1724779
>>1724579jesus that's a lot of money just to be told you're retarded on paper, glad to be a euroanon who got assessed for free.
Can you find any place that will take your insurance? Even if it's far a few day trips will be worth it if you save literally thousands on it
No. 1724874
This is a very specific question for very high functioning anons; I have ADHD but I suspect being on the spectrum too, and the thing is it's only now that I'm an adult who graduated college that I finally feel like I don't need to follow society's expectations or parental rules put onto me at an early age and I can finally be myself and address my needs.
I've always known that there's certain clothes that bother me and make me feel itchy, uncomfortable and like pulling my skin and they always felt too sensitive to me, but coming from a background of financial struggle and my mom always always always insisting I had to endure whatever uncomfortable feeling I had with clothes / her doing my hair too tight / whatever because we only ever got passed down stuff from my family, I learnt to just "deal with it" even if I probably looked weird growing up always adjusting, scratching, pulling, feeling like shit. I even forced myself to try other more "feminine" clothes at some point which were also shitty and I don't want to put myself through that ever again.
Nowadays I don't even wear under garments anymore because they make me feel like shit, so in a way, I wonder if I regressed or simply am aware of my needs now and don't need to prove shit to anyone. I even remember having certan tops which I felt very comfortable and natural in that my mom had to insist to throw away because they were "too used" and she would throw them away just like that then tell me later and I always felt bad about it, because I always felt better wearing those shirts than I've ever felt wearing anything else. But yeah kek thoughts? Sorry
No. 1724964
>>1724579But anon, why do you feel like it’s so necessary? Is there something that’s making your life harder by not knowing how to deal with it? I mean, you're already doing things like getting jobs, which is the epitome of being a functioning adult, if you can work you can at least do basic social stuff and probably work under a certain amount of pressure without locking yourself in your own brain.
I get that self-discovery is important even as an adult, but getting a late autism diagnosis tends to be more of a burden than something useful.
No. 1724965
>>1724911>Honestly this is why it's so hard to be mad at self diagnosed people.Not for me, because most of them really are painfully obvious fakers. Someone who IS autistic is the LEAST qualified to self-diagnose it because of the nature of the disorder itself.
It's like asking a compulsive liar how honest of a person they are and trusting their answer, or like asking an anorexic to define what is "too skinny". If they truly suffer from the condition their own judgement is directly impaired from it.
It's a lot easier for non-autists to identify with the disorder literally
because they don't have it. Their ability to relate and feel emapthy is bigger than your average autist's so they're the ones who mis-self-diagnose. Thinking you're an autist is almost proof you aren't one (I'm exaggerating but hopefully you get the point).
No. 1724967
File: 1697201929781.jpeg (83.57 KB, 736x736, 6C2121D3-C08E-406C-A604-B95B71…)
>>1724911It depends, self-diagnosing because your family and friends has always told you that there’s something a bit unusual about the way you act is a thing. But doing a self-diagnosis because you keep seeing comics about hashtag relatable adhd moments or memes with hashtag growing up autistic, and you feel identified with some stuff that’s pretty basic, is just pretty useless.
No. 1724972
>>1724874>thoughts? SorryYou're forgiven kek
Joke aside, I'm guessing your question is basically "am I autistic becuase I have sensory issues?". As another anon pointed out sensory issues can still be part of "just" ADHD.
>I can finally be myself and address my needs.It kind of sounds like you have your shit together/are working on it, so the more "serious" autism traits don't really apply and you're kinda just… fine? To me there doesn't seem to be much of a point to speculate if you're autistic or not. If you are and it's so mild you can get by without it written down on paper then why not just keep living your life that way? And if it bothers you enough to impact your life you can blame it on ADHD and get accommodation that way.
No. 1724975
>>1724967I don’t know I’m with the other anon. I don’t think it’s very
valid. You can’t diagnosis yourself and your relatives aren’t specialist. There’s plenty of conditions that might make someone “weird” or “different” that people might assume is autism but isn’t. Self diagnosis isn’t
valid and I don’t respect it personally. If people tell me they are I avoid them. It’s a red flag they’re likely mentally ill and attention seeking
No. 1724996
>>1724967>self-diagnosing because your family and friends has always told you that there’s something a bit unusual >self-diagnosis because you keep seeing comics about hashtag relatable adhd moments or memes I think this is a good distinction. The self diagnosers you see are all self-diagnosing based on relatable social media posts. Having adult normies who know real autists (not just other fakers and teens obsessed with labels) suspecting you're on the spectrum is a much more accurate sign.
I would honestly LOVE an experiment where you take normies and on purpose try to convince them they have a certain disorder (autism being one of them) through fake relatable content. Some of it would be the same as the tiktok posts that are like "you can't sit still for 10 seconds?? Must have AUTISM and ADHD!!" and some would be fully fake symptoms created just for the purpose of the experiment.
The experiment would have to be presented to the normies as something else of course, maybe saying it's actually a test to see how well social media can inform people about disorders?
It would be super interesting to see how it works in a controlled environment. I would also want trained professionals of each disorder to then meet and assess those people once they're honestly convinced they have the disorder. The professionals get sent a mix of fakers and real already diagnosed autists (who aren't allowed to reveal it of course). This would be to see if the non-autists get caught or if social media has made them act autistic enough that professionals can't even catch them. The professionals aren't told that it's a mix beforehand, they just have to treat each person as an individual as usual.
Then thirdly I would like a third group, one with actors who know they are faking on purpose, to get assessed too. I want to know how well they're able to fake autism just because they "want it".
My prediction would be that teen girls would be the fastest group to "realize" they have fake-autism, but that no group is immune to it.
No. 1725008
>>1724996Samefag, I'm know I'm weird but I sometimes consider doing an uncover investigation like this where I pretend to think I'm trans to see how fast and how far it would get me treatment. I'd like to see if they take my autism and other issues into account at all or if they just call me a real man and prescribe me testosterone (I wouldn't take it of course). I wouldn't lie about any of my past or my feelings, I'd want it to be as real as possible (I'd just hide my actual
terf stance). I day dream about secretly recording it and making a mini documentary and exposing them.
No. 1725109
File: 1697210639649.jpg (357.96 KB, 1080x699, Screenshot_20231013_151104_One…)
>>1724996>self diagnosers you see are all self-diagnosing based on relatable social media postsPicrel is an article where they explore the affect tiktok has on girls as there was a signficant rise of girls seeking treatmeant for Tourette's only for it to turn out false. As in they watched tiktok vids and convinced themselfs they had it.
https://movementdisorders.onlinelibrary.wiley.com/share/JAMG4N67SCSG3CBBQXHP?target=10.1002/mdc3.13316 No. 1725206
>>1725104>it’s very difficult to befriend me.Bingo nona. It's not "autistic people", it's just
you who has trouble befriending people. You're incorrectly projecting it onto all autists because it's your own experience.
>Autism ultimately is just a cluster b personality disorder for adults.No, again it's just
you who have autism, ADHD and is bipolar all at once - that's not all autists. I'm sorry you're struggling with not having friends. All my autist friends are super lovely and sweet and I love them a lot.
No. 1730781
i'm 28 and only now I start to learn to… take care of myself? Like eating regularly and healthy, getting decent sleep, exercise, hygiene, taking take of my skin etc. Also investing in myself, my hobbies, my skills. Basic stuff, but I feel like only now I learn how to make it into my routine. In highschool I was spending my nights in front of my pc and that was my life. After hs I was a neet for a few years. I finally started working at 25. But still no social life outside of work. Just my pc, shitty food, shitty hygiene, shitty sleep. I got my diagnosis and I started to learn about myself and connecting to my body and actually understanding that what I do can affect my body, that my problems steam from somewhere but I can change at least to a certain degree. Sure I will never be "normal", but I don't have to spend my entire life in my room. Before that I lived 99% of the time inside my own head. I would get a meltdown if someone knocked on my door because it was too loud. Now I'm outside a little more often. It's so weird to finally feel that I have some level of control over my own will and over my own life. I never felt that before. For the first time I also experience feelings like actually wanting to be recognized as good at something, but in a realistic way, not narcissistic-basement-dweller-im-better-than-everyone-and-fuck-normies way. Or to have a friend or a loved one. Anyone else experienced that delayed development thing? I don't know how to call it so sorry if that sounds offensive
No. 1730870
>>1730781You deserve to be proud of your accomplishments,
nonnie. I’m also 28 and just starting to get out, maybe making a couple of friends. I’m learning what’s socially appropriate and whatnot. I try to think of it as a game when it gets overwhelming. We’ll get there.
No. 1731099
>>1730781Good for you nona! Autist women tend to be "late bloomers" in many aspects. Some are basically asexual and uninterested in relationships until their brains are fully developed in their mid to late 20s, when normal people get into it almost the second puberty hits. It doesn't strike me as odd for an autist to have their "teenage room dweller phase" last for a decade longer tbh.
But having said that, I was wondering what autist nonas think would get an autist teen (male or female) to stop being a home dweller? What would have helped you, and if you were a parent what do you think you could realistically do for your child? I'm concerned about passing on my autist genes in the future so it's been on my mind lately, I wouldn't want to end up with a spolied 30 year old son still living at home without a job you know?
No. 1731271
>>1715885The neurotypical male is already autistic, they are emotionally retarded, pushy about their interests no one cares about, want things their way and even things like picky eating is catered to by their boymoms into late adulthood. So when a normie woman runs into a high functioning autistic moid, she's like "yep, business as usual", disliking loud places and collecting historical ship models is just a minor detail.
>>1724965>Someone who IS autistic is the LEAST qualified to self-diagnose it because of the nature of the disorder itself.Funny thing, throughout my life I've wondered about having so many mental illnesses and disorders but autism was something I always discarded, but my therapist told me to go to a neuro because she seriously suspects I have autism and/or adhd, gonna see how that plays out.
To me, what's really off about all the self-diagnosed tiktokers or whatever is that they come off as very socially adjusted. Of course there must be something not quite right about someone who attention whores online, but they do it in this way that has become very socially acceptable, that is very safe, protected from judgment (dont gatekeep and dont be ableist!!!) and that inserts them in a group. It all appears very non autistic to me. I'd expect an autistic attention whore to be maladjusted, Chris-chan being an obvious and extreme example. Alternatively, not being milky at all because their entire online presence is centered around their inoffensive special interests.
No. 1731274
>>1731271>The neurotypical male is already autistic, they are emotionally retarded, pushy about their interests no one cares about, want things their way and even things like picky eating is catered to by their boymoms into late adulthood.Holy shit, that's exactly what I say about "normal" males and autistic ones kek. The average male is already autistic because of how low they are in emotional and social intelligence, so for a man to get
diagnosed with autism must mean he's truly fucked. Like
bad bad autism autism.
No. 1731377
File: 1697745295360.png (175.63 KB, 1200x800, kitty.png)
>>1730781good for you. same with me. when i turned 30, it felt like i finally had my shit together, just about. i no longer give a shit about what other people think i should do. i didn't have my first relationship til my late twenties (it sucked but at least i tried it) and only started a proper career in the past year or so, with flexible hours that make it easy to stick with. i find it easier to socialise when i have to. i have my own place and a pet cat, and more of a routine. i really struggled to see a future for myself but now things feel more settled.
if i compared myself to other women my age, i might still seem immature or strange, but i no longer do that so it's ok. any younger nonnies reading this who are struggling - i really think things will get better for you the older you get (no one ever tells you this, it's always the opposite message but don't listen!)
No. 1731392
>>1731377Thank you
nonnie. I really needed to hear this.
No. 1731811
>>1724996Actually, there's a experiment that is pretty much like this one but replace the mental illness with drunken.
They took some people and gave them fake alcohol drinks and they slowly started to behave as if they where drunk (when they weren't) I'm trying to find this online but I can't kek but I'm sure it's somewhere
No. 1731994
>>1731811Sort of related, but I rememeber an experiment that showed kids don't "get hyper" from sugar, but the parents perception of the kids changed if they thought the kid had eaten sugar. They'd say things like "yes, I can tell he's definitely eaten sweets, just look how hyper he is running around and screaming" but in reality the kid was in the no-sugar group and was acting exactly the same as before.
So not only does it change people's perception of themselves, it also changes how they see others.
So we have this group of autism (and other disorder) fakers who end up thinking they really have the disorder by acting out the symptoms, and through their acting and spreading of misinformation they make others also think they have it. They both spur each other on - the fakers and the faker-supporters.
No. 1732064
>>1730781My life was basically the same as yours, except I tried very hard to be "normal" and well-adjusted. It just didn't work until I turned about 28 (I'm 29 now). If anything, trying extra hard to be a normie, have a sense of fashion, have a normal 9 to 5 etc burned me out, made me feel retarded and I struggled a lot with self-hatred. I'm
>>1731256 and my previous experience made me bully myself a lot whenever I failed at being a normie. I'm also a minority from a strongly disliked group in my country which didn't help.
I don't know what happened, but one day I just woke up and could do things I didn't dare to do previously. I could even sing, which I'd never been able to do before. It was scary how sudden it was, like someone flipped a switch.
No. 1742010
>>1736974i'm not on FB anymore but there was a group for gender critical autistic people on there. a lot of people anxious about gender ideology, and can't see the logic in it. i hope it's still going strong.
the trouble is, it's easier for LGB groups and women's rights groups to self-advocate and stand up to gender ideology, plus a lot of the de-trans community are autistic and they're focused on having their stories heard, which is good but it's not focused on reaching autistic people specifically.
i would love to see something like this emerge though, it's a good idea nona.
No. 1742023
>>1732064did you stop trying to become a normie or did you become capable of it? much like other anons I've spent my life being an empty shell that failed so bad at "masking" that I pretty much just gave up and became this uncanny ghost child in an adult body
I can't mask. I really can't. But I don't know how to "be myself" or if I can even survive if I truly do - I feel like I'll end up homeless and abused or something because everyone is creeped out by me and/or hates me
No. 1742058
File: 1698508684246.gif (2.16 MB, 640x360, kiki grounded.gif)
>>1742023ntayrt but i absolutely detest when people tell you to "be yourself". honestly, it's utter bullshit. i wish i never listened to that. i tried so hard trying to find this magical
TrUe sElF and just felt more disassociated and freakish than ever.
the thing that made those feelings slip away more was getting older, but also being more in touch with myself as a physical being in material reality. what i spend my time doing, physical exercise, being out in nature. just being and doing, instead of wondering.
No. 1743890
File: 1698621522579.jpg (27.35 KB, 543x720, 104456613_728529341022848_5381…)
Sometimes I wonder if I was misdiagnosed or something. I tick all the boxes for Asperger's but when I was young I read aloud to my entire school something about my country's history (because I am and specially when a was younger, a wannabee know-it-all fucking nerd) I believe that's not really something an autist would do, right?
No. 1743903
>>1743890why wouldn't it be?
>know it all nerdsounds about right. not all aspies are shrinking violets who can't speak in front of people. in fact, it's an easier way to speak to people because you're simply talking about something you like without having to navigate social cues.
No. 1743910
>>1743890sounds similar to infodumping which autists are known to do.
>>1743903yes, i've heard multiple high functioning autistic people say they like giving speeches and believe they find it easier to navigate than regular social etiquette.
No. 1743930
>>1742023Long post sorry, but I hope it will help. I never stopped trying but also never succeeded. I just realized that I'm weird and unintentionally do certain things that makes people find me annoying or bully me. This causes me anxiety, and anxiety makes me perform worse in public and unmask/act even weirder in order to calm myself down, which makes me even more self-conscious because I
know people will look at me and think I'm a freak, and so on.
I went to therapy and it really helped me stop running into the wall over and over again trying to be "normal". She explained that people can pick up on your energy, facial expressions and mannerisms, and that language is only a tiny part of human communication. She explained the cycle of bullying>masking>anxiety>awkwardness>people disliking me>masking harder>being more anxious>being more disliked, and said that there is no real cure other than being comfortable with who you are, weird or not, in such a way that you won't feel anxious as much. It sounds so obvious and stupid but it didn't really click for me until one day when I literally just woke up and got it, like I said before.
This really pushed me to make some changes in my life so I:
>Stopped saying yes to extra work that I know will exhaust me emotionally, mentally, physically, whatever, just to be liked or avoid being disliked. It's not my problem or fault if people don't like me for something I was born with and can't change. I'm not their personal lackey and shouldn't have to "earn" being liked when so many awful people out there have friends anyway.>Scaled down socializing by a lot. I'm not a social butterfly and need a lot of me-time, and that's ok. Too much and I risk melting down.>Stopped being scared of setting boundaries, started saying no when people ask me for favors that I know will exhaust me to do.>Started communicating my thoughts and feelings clearly (or trying at least) instead of having a tantrum and being angry/frustrated.>Started a new system for clothing/grooming myself that is simple. I used to go out with really greasy hair when I was busy and noticed people treating me worse so I try to look nice enough. This is still very hard because I always feel like I'm missing something and don't know what, but others don't know either, they just know I look "wrong".>Started trying to be nicer to myselfIt is still a work in progress as you can see, I struggle with self-hatred still, especially because of my ethnicity which I know people don't like but I've accepted there's nothing I can change there and it's not wrong to be that. My therapist said not to talk to people who are assholes about it and just label them as racist cunts in my head and move on.
Overall it's been a lot better and being meaner/bossier about what I want and don't want actually makes people act nicer to me.
No. 1743939
>>1743903I don't know, but I did my own research and most articles say that aspies are socially awkward and can't do things like presentations and shit.
But I also think, the speech I made when I was a kid was something that I was interested in back then, but at the same time when it came to do a presentation of something I dislike I started shaking like a leaf because I damn well know I was not going to have a good time kek
No. 1743992
File: 1698629706950.png (743.85 KB, 792x866, image_2023-10-30_113534693.png)
I hate this time of year. I have so many assignments due and so many events to attend. I'm thankful that my university has such a great disability adjustment for me (unlimited extensions), but when I'm working a graveyard shift almost every night it makes it hard to do anything.
University is not meant for the poor or the retarded.
No. 1745770
>>1743939My "favorite" local aspergian woman literally makes a living from holding speeches all over the world (she's a polygot). Not all autists are reserved introverts, plenty are extroverts and love to talk to people and instead do it "too much".
I think part of the stereotype is because introverts naturally struggle more with making friends and getting a job so they look more inept to the world. Even if you're a retard autist, if you're an extrovert and have normie friends who like you you can still ask them for help and you can have a normalish social life. They'll also call out your odd behaviours until you either learn to not do them, or they accept that you're weird but at least you become aware that your actions are weird (vs the introvert who would unknowingly act weird). And then you get the introverts lurking online all the time and they're the ones who define what autism is on social media.
No. 1745779
>>1743930>Started a new system for clothing/grooming myself that is simple. I used to go out with really greasy hair when I was busy and noticed people treating me worse so I try to look nice enough. This is still very hard because I always feel like I'm missing something and don't know what, but others don't know either, they just know I look "wrong".I think learning basics of what's acceptable to wear is a great skill for us to have! People "shouldn't" have to look a certain way to be treated with respect but judging people based on looks isn't inherently bad either. I mean if a creepy man wearing just a trench coat and has visibly no pants on is walking towards you I sure hope you're judging him enough to see he's a potential threat so you can get the hell out of there!
Just learning basic hygiene (like not having greasy looking or tangled hair) and socially acceptable clothes can make people treat you better and make your life a little easier. For example I've learned that wearing sweatpants here is seen as kinda "trashy" so I opt for jeans if I go outside. If I don't feel like dealing with jeans sensory-wise I instead wear a long soft skirt. Skirts aren't that common here so I get more looks, but skirts are seen as more "dressed up" so as long as the skirt is neutral in color without crazy patterns I still don't look trashy to people because I'm "dressed up". So just by switching from soft pants to a soft long skirt I go from trashy to dressed up - it's a nice little life hack that was easy to implement.
No. 1746926
>>1745832My fellow female autist friend keeps saying "the average male is more autistic than an autistic woman" and there's some truth to that. I have male autists in the family and thought for years I couldn't also be autistic because I wasn't like them.
>But they just do not give a fuck about other people. "Nooo I just have so much empathy that it overwhelms me", no you don't.This in particular stands out. The male autists in my own family are actually alright on this front so don't shoot them please kek, however I've noticed a pattern of male autist who loudly
claim to be super empathic tend to be the
least empathic.
For example Male Autist A from my family wouldn't claim to be empathic and typically wouldn't really notice when another person is in distress. However if you tell him directly "I'm really sad today" he'll get genuinely concerned and want you to be happy. He also assumes you won't notice if he's in distress and so will directly tell you when he is.
Meanwhile Male Autist B will
claim he's all for equality for everyone, and that he's super empathic and a really nice person. And he really thinks he is. But B also won't notice you're in distress, but he'll somehow expect
you to notice and baby
him when he's in distress. He initially won't tell you he's in distress, and will blame you for not asking or noticing. He shows no regards of other people's feelings, if you explain why his actions hurt others he will justify it somehow by making himself the
victim so he can keep doing it. He also keeps projecting his own feelings onto others, IF he likes them. If he's depressed, surely you must also be depressed because you're somehow just a reflection of himself. His version of "empathy" means something like "other people noticing and feeling bad for me".
I knew an autist B guy and it was surprising how hard he projected his own depression onto me (and then praised himself for being so empathic over it lol). Like he'd be having a bad day and when asking how I'm doing and I said "kinda meh, just an average day" he'd always treat it as if I said "I'm practically suicidal over how bad my life is" so he'd start saying things like "oh no I'm so sorry to hear that you're having such a bad day, we're both having a terrible day huh? Life really sucks". It was always frustrating because although it appears as if tried to be kind he was really just ignoring anything I actually said to him, like I'm not a real person.
No. 1750447
File: 1699051617157.jpg (3.51 KB, 275x273, 1680279067009.jpg)
Before I started working full time I wouldn't call myself low functioning (although I had some shameful problems like with taking a bath and keeping my room clean) but since I started working, I literally don't have the strenght to be a person. I can't find time for myself, I lost most of my interests. It's been 2 years and I literally feel like I lost my personality. Even when I read something interesting, I no longer have the energy to even talk to anyone about it. So I feel very boring as a person, because in real life I basically never tell anyone about anything and I only listed to the stuff that others tell me. And even when they ask me what I think, I usually just say "I don't know". Before that I was so well-read, I watched so many movies etc. and I always had some interesting random facts to bring up and I was eager to share my ideas on many topics. Now it's nothing. I feel like working and being outside and among people for 8 hours every day ruined me totally. I can't articulate myself properly. I can't do my hobbies anymore, there's nothing
No. 1750494
>>1745779AYRT, and I agree, it was a life changer! I got a fashion app to plan outfits on, even though I'm hilariously bad at it my mom helps me and it actually made things a lot easier. We modified it so that I feel comfortable in most things without looking bad at all, and the app picks the right outfit for the weather.
My hair is for sure my weak spot, it is very hard to style outside of a low pony and takes forever to dry since there's a lot of it, but I hate hair dryers and air-drying makes it look really bad, it actually gets greasy a lot faster when you air dry it. I'm sure one day I'll figure it out but I have no idea how girls with thick and pretty hair do it. Do they spend a long time doing their hair?
No. 1752112
>>1751940See if you can get a low-dose beta-blocker prescribed. It'll lower your heart rate which at least for me always calms me down.
Also just saying, if you're anything like me, there might not actually be any ADHD medication that will work for you. I haven't tried every single type of course, but I've tried basically all general types and absolutely all of them just make me anxious and don't help shit. Of course I hope that's not the case for you! But don't be like me and desperately hope that you're one of those people who's life changed after getting ritalin only to get your dreams crushed.
No. 1752467
>>1750447>>1751656I feel this to my core. I'll admit I've never held a proper full time job but that's because I know I'll be burned out within a few weeks at most. It's hard to explain just how tired one full workday makes me, but at the same time it's hard to fight the feeling inside that I'm just not trying hard enough. That everyone else clearly can push through and I'm the one that's wrong, even though I logically know I essentially have a disability.
That said I kinda hate being in this middle point of being able to work so I can't/won't go on disability, but also unable to work a full 40 hours a week without destroying myself. And well in this economy more than ever before, it's impossible to live a proper independent life without at least said 40 hours.
No. 1752721
>>1750447I work full time but it's from home and it's flexible hours. I'm so lucky to have this. But if it's something you can get, I highly recommend it. Even hybrid WFH is way better.
I used to work 9-5 desk job, and then flexible hours retail job, eventually had a nervous breakdown and got really sick. I was such a wreck, even though the work itself wasn't demanding. Just constantly being around people and having to react to things in my environment that I had no control over. When you're that frazzled there is nothing left for your interests or a sense of self. I barely ate, didn't look after myself or my home.
Now I get to be at home, take breaks and play with my cat and make my own routine. I really really hope you can find something similar
nonnie. No one is designed to live that life you're living, especially not as an autistic woman.
BTW I found my job by searching for work from home trainee positions (that way you don't necessarily need experience because they will train you).
No. 1752765
>>1746926my dad is autistic and he is the gentlest, kindest man ever. everyone comments on how he is the sweetest. he has a bit of a Stan Laurel quality, is the best way to describe. but like your Male Autist A family member he is oblivious to other's emotions a lot and i know my mum does all the heavy lifting to keep him functioning too.
on the flip side, my one and only relationship was with an autistic man. i felt we had a lot in common at first but his lack of empathy was borderline sociopathic and at best narcissistic. took me far too long to realise. and this has been closer to my experience with almost every other autistic male i've met. i think our family members are the rarer kinds unfortunately.
No. 1754029
>>1752467In my case I worked full time, but after work I'd come home and just collapse from exhaustion on my bed and sleep for 3-4 hours. I'd usually wake up at like 8-9pm again so I had 2-3h of free time a day to do chores and hobbies before going to bed. Turns out you can't really do all your chores and do hobbies in just 2h a day. I needed the weekends to sleep and rest so I couldn't make plans with friends on the weekends either. I kinda thought this was just the normal adult way to live because technically in my mind I "could" work full time like a normal person. Then my therapist was like "no, anon working shouldn't make you suicidal and unable to perform basic living chores" so not I'm working part time with disability support lol
I do make less money but honestly… life is only so long. I'd rather have more free time and do a bit of what I want every day than to have a bit more money in the future. There's no guarantee I'll live to be old, we're all just one single accident away from death. Or an accident away from not being able to perform the hobby. And why should I count on being able to perform my hobbies when I'm retired at 70 instead of doing them now and enjoy life? As long as I'm able to pay my bills and am able to live relatively comfortably I'm good. I don't need to buy the latest iphone every year.
No. 1754058
>>1752765Ayrt, it's actually so nice when my autistic male family members do notice me (or someone else) or they go out of their way to do something nice they know the other person will like. I know some people may think that's praising a male for doing bare minimum kek but as a fellow autist I also know how hard it can be to read people etc… so once they do make an effort it just means a lot. The person I'm thinking of in particular doesn't rememeber my birthday most years, but he'll sometimes just randomly show up with a gift he thought I'd like. He doesn't need a "special occasion" to care to get me something, he'll just do it to be nice.
I honestly don't think they're more rare at all, but I think they're not the type to use social media or to hang around internet spaces so you just don't meet them that often unless you know them irl. When I went to autism support groups the majority of the males there at least appeared to be more like this. But if you go into any online space most male autists there are the annoying ones. (Women are a bit more social by default so the odds of us being more normal/nice are better)
No. 1757473
>>1756826Sometimes I physically can't speak when I'm super stressed but I'm such a flighty person that I've never frozen in place and instead get a strong urge to leave. My friends would get confused and annoyed that I would just "disappear" out of nowhere because I wouldn't announce it or show any signs before leaving lol
I wonder if shutting down is a form of learned helplessness? It's obviously not helpful to just freeze and seems counterproductive because it makes you more vulnerable (or at least keeps you in the exact same position of "harm" that made you freeze/shut down), what do you shut down nonas think? Did you typically get yelled at or shamed for having some kind of big reactions to stress?
No. 1757783
>>1756826i think it's a stress response when you feel unsafe but aren't sure what to do. it's like playing dead, basically.
>>1757473ntayrt. i usually disappear too but there have been times i've been so stressed i cannot move, and there have been situations where i really needed to flee but couldn't. i wasn't even thinking "i need to get out of here" i was just frozen, it's weird.
that hasn't happened in a long time though thankfully. i think now that i have learned what i am meant to do in certain situations (eg. if a man is being creepy, just get out of there, don't worry about anything else) it's prevented the paralysis response. whereas before i never knew what i was meant to be doing, and wasn't even quite sure of how i felt in situations, other than general fear/stress. but if big and small things can make you stressed equally, or you're not even sure when you are stressed or not, it's difficult to know how to react. i think these things are helpful to learn for young autistic people, particularly girls.
No. 1757886
>>1757783>i think now that i have learned what i am meant to do in certain situations (eg. if a man is being creepy, just get out of there, don't worry about anything else) it's prevented the paralysis response.ayrt, that's kind of what I thought, "having a plan" rather than thinking there's nothing you can do makes you not freeze. Even if the plan is just "get the hell out of there". I don't know if "learned helplessness" is the right term but like I said the mindset of not knowing or even thinking there isn't anything you can do.
There are other situations where I was accidentally "taught" that me doing/saying something was bad so I defaulted to instead staying silent and hoping it goes away on its own even when I "should" have spoken up. So I can imagine similar situations leading to the freezing response.
No. 1758521
>>1702240Sorry having sperg-mode activated: For me it was depictions of christian hell, Satan and inquisition and since nobody would talk to me about it I wasn't interested in friends and spent most my teenage years reading medieval and early modern age books for myself. Was still one of the best periods of my life.
At some point I got into conspiracy theories and religions and used them to build up my own chuuni worldview in which I was one of the central characters aka the antichrist that would eventually cause the end of the world. Since I had some hallucinations as little kid I came up with the idea that I believed to be possessed back then but turned out that I am the one possessing this body and the original owner died when "I"/the body was killed in a catastrophe I forgot about when I was 4.
I guess this is what happens when you spend years in social isolation. But damn, it was fun.
I was so motivated I even worked on a neverending RPG-Maker game about this. Worked two years+ streight on this, all day and sometimes even throughout the nights. Even wrote the weekly in-game news papers that you could buy in cities for flavor reasons and started rebuilding my own city (Frankfurt), Rome, Teheran and Honolulu as sci-fi version of them.
Also believing that you are relevant in some way by being friends with some godlike entity (that would later turn out to be evil (spoiler)) that gave you some super important mission to change the whole world is just the best feeling that exists. I even read books about history and cultures of other countries to give the characters more depth.
Probably symptom of a serious mental illness that is even worse than autism, but again, I miss it. I was so happy back then.
No. 1759005
>>1758521This hits too close to home kekkk
When I was in school I used to zone out and imagine characters in a dark fantasy medieval setting making missions and battling the undead, and the main character trying to find the whereabouts of his missing daughter. The story got so complex and I got so fond of the characters that I started writing about them in google docs and I manage to write around 3 pages describing the characters, appareance, past etc
I love drawing and thanks to them I learnt to draw humans so I was always drawing them and updating their bios with the drawings I made.
I still like to go back and see what I wrote, I kind of miss being able to zone out that intensely and being in my own world kek
I'm currently debating if I should tell this to my therapist or not.
No. 1759204
>>1759005Yeah I spent most of my schooltime with drawing during classes. It was great, I even made a bunch of manga. Never finished any lol but for some of them I drew 200 pages and such. I never had the urge to show it to others either. Maybe if I ever finish them or the game, but it was never part of my motivation. It was a purely private enjoyment that allowed me to create, relate, vent and have fun with some unique story and characters I love.
I am not sure if I will ever get a therapist but since I am NEETing for long enough to piss authorities off they might put me into some sort of rehabilitation program soon. Unsure whether I should tell them that too kek. Though part of me is curious about how they would classify that. "Psychotic dreamworld"?
I also can absolutely not listen because of that. Even if I care and focus on what someone is saying my thoughts about the subject will distract me from what is actually being said and by the time that I realise that I am not listening 10 minutes or so have passed and I missed half of it so I THINK about the fact that I "cannot listen" and analyse that problem while, well, not listening.
After a while I will just stop trying.
No. 1759218
File: 1699459529444.jpg (217.25 KB, 2560x1538, Classic-Lasagna-14-scaled.jpg)
Let's get some positivity going nonas lol what's the most non-autist/functional thing you do? Brag about the average life skills you have despite the autism!
I have a normal job, it's part time but it's in a field I enjoy a lot. I'm one of those autists who can use a special interest for my job so I excel over the normies there.
I don't cook a lot but when I do it turns out great! I'm especially good at making lasagna.
No. 1759271
>>1759204I did read some time ago that is called maladaptive daydreaming? I could be wrong though.
I remember my teachers telling me I don't pay attention or listen, even if I was giving all my mental capacity to at least try. It was very frustrating, because they put me in the same box of the lazy ass students that actually didn't cared about studying.
It was nice reading about someone who did the sane thing as me back in the day kek
No. 1759608
>>1759218I have a boring office job filled with boomers that I get along with alright, nothing very exciting and the pay is just okay but it helps me feel normal and keeps me on a schedule. Unfortunately none of my special interests are something that I could land a job with, I'm jealous of nonnies itt that have careers related to theirs.
I also feel like I pass for being a normie very well. I care a lot about my appearance so I always make sure I'm wearing something cute and have a flattering hairstyle and daily makeup look. I tend to get a lot of compliments on my style as well which is nice. Spoilers cuz it's kinda negative
I do get pretty fixated on what I'm wearing sometimes and can get upset and have a hard rage moment if I feel like I look frumpy or if nothing I'm trying on looks good. Sometimes I wonder if the reason I care so much is because my outward appearance is like my normal person costume, so if something looks off about it the nagging voice in the back of my mind makes me feel like people will know I'm an autist KEK No. 1760008
File: 1699490187010.png (898.8 KB, 750x986, photo.jpg.png)
sorry if this is ot but i know a lot of autistic people get misophonia (hatred of certain noises, usually chewing and breathing etc.) has anyone tried anything that actually helps with this? i live alone so can usually control it but get so stressed even thinking about times i will have to endure meals with other people. christmas is looming and normally i try and eat alone in another room but then there is always endless snacking and i end up exposed to those sounds one way or another. i tried those bullshit Loop ear plug things that are meant to help but they don't. i end up feeling like such an asshole because it puts me in such a terrible mood and i shut down because it's too much. i don't wanna bring people down.
No. 1761656
I'll go away if this is not autistic enough but idk where else to talk about this. When I was a teen, many people kept thinking I had autism so I got referred to a psych for some tests. Their diagnosis was not ASD, but social pragmatic communication disorder (SPCD), which I literally never hear anyone talk about. Even after my diagnosis they did nothing and never explained it to me. There's barely any info on it and most of it is in that "parents here's how to help your tard child" context, not useful for an adult woman.
It confuses me because a lot of the symptoms listed sound like just being slow at learning English and not knowing how to use the language, which is outright not an issue for me. But then other descriptions say it's literally autism with fewer symptoms? I don't even know what traits were flagged as abnormal when I got diagnosed, they just said I did various mundane things wrong and abnormally. I don't feel like I do very many autistic things…
But to this day, people still constantly think I have autism and don't believe me when I say I had it checked and didn't meet enough symptoms. It's clear that people think there's something idiosyncratic and different about me, but I don't understand why, and all I have is this useless "kinda autism but not really" diagnosis. Should I just roll with saying I'm autistic because it's easier for people to understand or keep insisting I'm totally normal? I still don't know why people think I'm weird and it drives me crazy, it's like everyone else sees something I don't.
I do know that autism is heritable/genetic, and my dad is extremely stereotypically autistic, so there's that… I do take a lot after him but I don't think I share the really spergy behaviors
No. 1762487
>>1761656>social pragmatic communication disorder (SPCD) which I literally never hear anyone talk about.I hope it stays that way, or all the tiktok larpers will selfdiagnose with SPCD instead!
You could literally just tell people who think you have autism that you have SPCD, and that some symptoms are similar but it's not autism since you were tested for it. Don't let people bully you into thinking you must be autistic just because they haven't heard of any other disorder or diagnosis. If you didn't meet the criteria you didn't meet it! Remember that autism is increidbly trendy and cool to have right now, and that's not a joke. People will pretend that no one would ever pretend/claim to be autistic if they're not but it's happening ALL the time. So people think they know autism from social media, but they don't know what real autism is like.
I'd even possibly argue ROASD - rapid onset autism spectrum disorder - should be a known phenomenon. People with no previous signs of autism suddenly adopting traits after consuming too much social media about it. They're not always "pretending" knowingly but they've adapted the traits through social contagion and they're not actually developmentally delayed aka autistic.
No. 1776993
File: 1700332594656.jpg (58.5 KB, 734x329, 04fdc264f02c9e4ad0706ddd701543…)
I hate how quickly overstimulated my asd makes me, to the point I can't respond anymore. I always thought that it would happen only during situations I don't like/I'm not interested in/I'm stressed by, like my work or just most of social interactions with people I share no mutual hobbies etc. But today I finally had the chance to find out. I went to Comic Con in Utrecht and I really really wanted to be there. I felt so excited and nice at the begginning, despite loud music and huge ammounts of people, I felt ZERO stress, I was happy to watch cosplay catwalks and listen to Elijah Woods talk, lots of positive energy, knowing that I'm among people who have similar interests etc. I also talked more than usual. But that lasted for like 4 hours. Then it was like my brain shut down. I literally wasn't able to focus on anything or follow conversations or respond to the people I went there with. I had like this pain building up insinde my forehead and face and the feeling I need to quickly return to my quiet place. They wanted to go eat something after the Con and I was like no please lets just go home. Now I feel so guilty about it. So it turned out the time before my overstimulation hits in is basically the same like at my work, even at a place I really loved and I was really excited to be at. At work I also feel like I just can't take it anymore when I'm half-way through, so around 4 hours. I'm so disappointed. Now I just want to eat something quick and then sleep for 11 hours to regenerate. I'm just sad
No. 1777291
>>1776993It's really the worst. I think it might be the part I hate the most about having autism. The amount of time needed to recover from what should be a fun day and maybe sleeping in a little the next day turns into having to essentially spend a week trying to make yourself functional again. And I find it so hard to explain to people too! "Oh we all get a little tired after a long day!" like I get they mean well when they said it, but no it's a whole different level of tired. You wouldn't get it. And that's fine! But no it's not the same as having had a nice day out on Saturday and going back to work fine on Monday.
I have the same issues trying to explain to co-workers why I can't work full time. Yes I'm aware I seem functional. Yes I would probably be able to do 40 hours a week… for like 3 months before I burn out. I'm not just a little tired after work. I can't do anything but eat and lay in bed at most after work, and this is for a job that isn't that demanding at all.
No. 1777640
File: 1700368111140.jpg (Spoiler Image,1.22 MB, 2256x4000, IMG20231119051117_BURST002.jpg)
>>1777291>I can't do anything but eat and lay in bed at most after work, and this is for a job that isn't that demanding at all.Same here. So right now you don't have to work full time anymore, I understand that correctly? That's very good for you anon, I think people with asd should take the opportunity of not working full time whenever they can. For now I can't have this at my job, but I hope one day I will work from home
>>1776993I also wanted to add something regarding cons since there's so many plushies there. Even as an adult I still have this overwhelming empathy for plush toys, like I feel sorry for certain plushies, especially if they're ugly, old or they just look sad or
vulnerable. It also hurts me that I don't love all my plushies equally. I had this as a kid too, I felt like the plushies had feelings and I couldn't leave them alone for long, when I was going to school I would leave real food for them and put them together so they wouldn't be alone. And now this con. All plushies were cute and new of course, but some of them looked more vulnerable than others. I found this small calico cat plushie, she was the only one there and she was the smallest and squeezed under much bigger and "fancier" plushies and I was like "aww she needs me". I found out she also squeks when you squeeze her belly, it's so cute. I know it's completely irrational, but I would feel guilty if I didn't get her. I also got a big flying dragon plushie, it's really impressive, but this tiny calico is still my favorite. I got so emotional because of it I spent an hour reading posts about other autists getting hyper-empathy for inanimate objects. When I see some old, dirty plushies being thrown away, it makes me sad to the point I want to cry. Or when there's a plushie that wasn't manufactured correctly and has an uneven face etc., I feel like I have to get it because no one else will and it will be left alone and thrown away. There's a channel on YouTube specifically dedicated to cleaning and reviving old and torned plushies and this shit just makes me cry.
That empathy also always extended to animals. I would bring every hurt pigeon to my house and my mom would be like "jesus not again". Stray cats, a lost friendly dog that followed me, I brought everything I found. If a pigeon died, I would make a funeral for him and bury him with flowers and a piece of paper with a written poem I found on the internet, looking for something bird/flying-related specifically.
No. 1785526
>>1777676maybe not the same way you're describing, but i have bulimia and i eat for emotional comfort. the part where autism comes in though is that it's very hard for me to connect with people, so i get lonely and easily frustrated, which makes me eat and yeet.
on another note, do you guys here also go through like regular freakouts while getting ready in the morning? some days it's like i just start off on the wrong foot and my normal clothes, hairstyle and makeup gradually irk me into a meltdown. it's so stupid but it makes me late to work every time and i just can't be arsed to explain it to my boss because normies really don't get it.
No. 1786711
>>1752467>struggle with autistic traits all my life>try several jobs>burn out after a few weeks>feel extremely shameful and lazy>grieve because my one cope was "if I can't socialize atleast i'll get a good job and be a career woman">manage to get a WFH position>run through 12 hour days with ease>realize I was never lazy, overstimulation from work environments (strong lights, loud, etc) and socializing is what made me burnt out>lose WFH positionAnyway that was my lightbulb moment that made me pursue a diagnosis. With the main reason being finally accepting that I do need some workplace accommodations. And I might need welfare/benefits during periods of burnout. I'm deeply ashamed because I tried so hard for many years. It's why I hate the recent wave of fakers. They'll never have to face the embarrassment of receiving benefits.
Or the humiliation after you storm off to hyperventilate and cry in the bathroom because a family dinner with too many people, too much noise and too many conversations at once made the pressure build up so much you just wanted to cry. But you try to keep your shit together, but now you've kept it together for TOO long and you know you have to storm out of the room before you start crying in front of everyone. And now you've made the entire dinner awkward for everyone else and they all remember it for years. And after that one event, one of your family members has treated you like a massive retard ever since and now talks to you like a 10 year old.
No. 1788333
>>1777640>I still have this overwhelming empathy for plush toys, like I feel sorry for certain plushies, especially if they're ugly, old or they just look sad or vulnerable.
What the hell this happens to me too. I thought I was going to grow out of it but I even feel this way as an adult lmfao
I always carry an old doggy plush that's missing and eye in my backpack because it looks so sad to me and I feel bad leaving it behind
No. 1794055
God I really think it's too late for me to become less fucked up. Even my psychologist told me I'm not suited for a full time job, I get overstimulated after 4-5 hours, like I can do 8 hours, I've been doing it for 2 years, but working 8 hours means I literally won't be able to do anything else before and after work because I'm too tired and mentally drained. I will just lie down, then wake up, go to work, repeat, only take showers and cook for myself on the weekends, and then sleep for the rest of saturday/sunday because I don't have the energy to do anything else, even read a book or watch a movie. But I also don't think that working from home is good for me because I would become a schizo feral person like I used to be in late high school and post hs, during my neet era. Too afraid to go to a grocery store. I got severe tonsillitis and I had to take free from work this week and literally after 4 days of not going outside and not talking to anyone I'm having this old schizo fear of going outside and the feeling of being totally lost and alone. Well I am alone because I don't have any friends or close family members but when I'm forced to interact with people at work at least I don't get this schizo feeling like I literally don't exist or everything exists in my head or something bad is going to happen to me. People at least have to acknowledge my existece so my brain knows I exist. Although regardless of me going outside I know that if I died in my house no one would know until the smell of my rotting corpse allarmed other housemates. There's no good option for me
No. 1795106
>>1794055It's not too late nona. If you can't work 8 hours then work the hours you can work, that's good enough you know. I also had to accept that 8h made me too drained to do ANYTHING else so now I work less and I feel a lot better.
>>1794678Just text them like "hey thank you for the birthday wish last month, I've been too burned out to even reply to anyone but I appreciated it a lot" I'm sure they won't mind.
No. 1795272
I'm just getting back on meds after being off them for 2 years. The lamo is making me more laser focused, but I still can't maintain eye contact worth shit and probably couldn't handle a job interview without humiliating myself. I'm wondering if there's any options out there for an adhd autist who's in desperate need of money but doesn't want to work remotely and can't handle long hours of people interacting. Say no remote because I can't focus at home. I worked retail for six years, I like (and sometimes hate) people, but I was broken down, unmedicated and traumatized the last 2 years that I don't think I can handle retail without cracking while I'm still building up tolerance to my new med dosage. Having comorbid spectrum type disorders with a mood and personality disorder will never make me come across as a normal and healthy.
>>1687154Yes and my psychomotor issues worsened when I was unmedicated. It's really embarrassing because this kind of behavior is applauded in men (look at fucking slapstick comedy) but my flailing body movements as a woman are somehow perceived as unladylike and rude. Like that's just how I move. I'm not forcing it, I have naturally verbose hands and I can't shut them up
>>1688085I'm comorbid with other things (bipolar, borderline, adhd) but lamotrigane worked for me, I'm on it again, alongside buspirone to taper down anxiety symptoms. These are both relatively non addictive non invasive medications and helped relax and focus me
>>1794678I feel this too, I'm afraid because of the potential rejection if I text them and they start grilling me. I don't want to lose friends but I keep praying they text me first so I don't have to throw that stone.
No. 1799409
File: 1701722694973.jpg (926.1 KB, 1080x3686, txt.jpg)
an unpopular opinion but I think this is bad advice and it never helped me. To be fair this is advice for every neurodivergent person and not just adhd so maybe people with a not-adhd disorder find this more helpful. But I still get these advice whenever I say I have adhd lol.
>listen to music in another language
Most of the music I listen to is in languages I don't understand but I can still get carried away by the rhythm and melody. The same thing happens when I listen to vocalless music. I only listen to music while studying if I have to do something repetitive like writing the same stuff down to memorise it or using flash cards or going over my notes. I can't listen to music while reading or writing an essay like OP suggests.
Also whenever I listen to music while studying I end up spending so much time trying to make a "good" study playlist that fits my current mood.
>put on a movie
imo this is pure insanity. I see alot of people without ADHD doing this too. I also have aspergers so having a movie play in the background is super overwhelming. Multitasking has been proved to be kinda fake anyways and 90% of people who claim that they can multitask is lying. If you write an essay while watching a movie, then your essay ia going to be shoddy because half of your brain power is used on watching the movie even if it's a movie you have seen a dozen times. Your brain is still trying to follow it. I can maybe see this method working if your writing your first essay draft but otherwise no.
Watching movies while doing something else (not necessarily studying)have become common over the years and I don't get why. People will play video games while watching a movie and then they will later complain that the movie was too hard to understand…gee I wonder whypersonally because of my aspergers I have alot of "rules" when it comes to watching movies and I think in order to fully enjoy one you have to be focused on it but each to their own
>buy stationary you like
this is good advice but many people interpret it as "buy as much stationary as possible that creaters clutter on your work desk". Before people go out and buy stationary they should be clear on what they need and if they work better in a minimalist environment or surrended by clutter (some people genuinely do work better like this but there are also people who claim they work better in clutter so they can justify their sanrio stationary consoomerism) super spergy advice but when buying pens go to a physical stationary store rather than buy them online. In the store you can try pens out so you can get a feeling of their weight and such. having a pen that feels comfortable in your hands makes the studying process so much easier.
>get folders
good advice i got nothing to nitpick here.
Full disclosure I started doing much better in university when I got medicine. Before that I was a mess lmao. but even listening to music or watching movies while studying made everything worse. It sounds harsh but what helped me pre-meds was "disciplining" myself to do one thing at the time. Don't get me wrong it made studying a long and painful process (and it still sort of is) but whenever I had a movie running in the background I would either get super overwhelmed or I would give myself an excuse to distract myself "I had a blank word document open for hours but I'm totally studying! It's called multitasking therefore binge watching netflix is totally productive!". Writing, reading and studying are all skills you can train. I don't think it's a good idea to encourage people with ADHD to multitask because it's only going to worsened those skills. I know it's hard and not everyone have access to meds or want to take them but idk it genuinely worries me how common it has become to multitask trough every boring task. Its only going to harm you in the long run. almost everyone nowadays are constantly multitasking. I think that's why so many are diagnosed with ADHD now. I do think it's a real disorder (it has been affecting me my whole life) but I tinfoil that many young people don't have ADHD they just never learned how to focus. But doing dreadful and hard tasks like studying is healthy for you and that's how you get better at them. I wish I could articulate this better. I know it's really hard to study when you have ADHD and I don't want to dismiss that but advice like this rubs me the wrong way
No. 1799425
>>1799346I think in that case it wasn't being non-verbal, in my case, I would go completely mute under stressful circumstances as a teen, and probably as a kid too but I don't remember a lot of those times, nowadays I got that partially under control.
In those cases, you literally just can't speak, like, at all, you can't say a single word because it feels like your mouth is sealed shut and even though you want to say something, you physically can't, you can try and force yourself but you just can't open your mouth, maybe you can try doing to signs, you won't write stuff because it would be too attention grabbing of course, but you will stay there staring at everyone like an animal in front some bright lights until you feel like you can do something or until the stressful situation is completely over.
No. 1799474
Nonnas, I'm so confused. I understand this is going to be long but I'd really appreciate your perspective.
I was recently diagnosed with autism and so many things clicked. How I couldn't for the life of me mantain eye contact, my retarted interests, my inability to understand wtf people mean when they talk to me sometimes, my absolutely ridiculous picky eater habits and sensory issues. My initial diagnosis was BPD. So, I have a rocky relationship with my mother but last time I saw her I wanted to discuss this new info about me. She basically was so skeptical, not in a "my child is not retarted!11!" way, but in a "you had a typical development" type of way. Basically she said that I would answer to my name, I spoke relatively quick and I would smile normally and I wouldn't flap my hands or other tell-tale signs. She also kept comparing my case with my autistic nephew, which is like 6. What's funny is she was like "I'd still be happy if it's autism cause it sounds better than bpd", which absolutely ruined me emotionally (unrelated just something sad about this interaction). She also said that I did present difficulty with getting along with others, preferring to play alone, difficulty with eye contact and sensory issues, but they appeared later in life (around 5-7 years old), which made her doubt it's even a valid diagnosis in the first place. My mother retired early so I doubt that she wasn't around enough when I was a toddler, then again, according to her, when I was a toddler I'd cry so hard when she'd leave, more than other children and I'd be afraid of her leaving, so idk, it's not like I was mature enough to know what the fuck was up with me when I was a kid. Have you had your parents tell you that? Or did your parents go through the usual mourning process and then were like, oh it actually makes sense?
No. 1799609
>>1799558sorry I don't know how helpful this is going to be, but for what it's worth, that exact thing used to happen to me.
when I was like 14, I was so overwhelmed with how I couldn't get along with nor understand other people very well that I just started coming up with batshit insane theories about how my friends actually hated my ass because they somehow got remote access to the journal I kept on my computer and everyone could hear my thoughts and all of the stuff I thought about them and that everyone else was in on it except for me which was why people didn't want to talk to me topkek (I also didnt know I was a sperg back then)
No. 1799628
File: 1701742452218.jpg (29.79 KB, 524x488, FePcFUkVQAAoA07 (1).jpg)
>>1799438That can happen with ADHD, yeah. The term is like "auditory processing (disorder)", it is a common comorbid condition/symptom (I'm not a psych so I'm speaking loosely here, but you can use that term if you want to look into it more.)
I have had it happen, usually when I get overwhelmed with too much sensory input, especially other sound. This is my speculation, but I feel like it happens because our brains aren't good at attention allocation, so we try to process all the inputs at once and do a shitty job (just hearing sound and not understanding) because we don't correctly prioritize the attention on speech. It's embarassing when you have to ask somebody to repeat something because the light is too bright or something equally stupid sounding.
I think this issue is also one of those areas ADHD/autism overlap a lot, we can both get easily overwhelmed by too much stimulus. So looking for info on both might be good if you want to research more.
No. 1799656
>>1687342Old ass post and it's a different case I guess, but I do get upset/sad/alienated whenever I tell someone who's closeish and they can't believe it because I "mask" so well. They often proceed to make jokes (not mean ones mind you) and insist it can't be the case because I can recognize said joke and play along.
On the one hand, it
is good to know they can't tell and I appear normal most of the time (e.g. I am never telling my parents), but at the same time I'm over here trying to open up and explain why I do certain weird things or have trouble navigating relationships and they just don't believe it and then proceed to interpret any obliviousness, faux pas, and just general spergery as deliberate manipulativeness, callousness, and other assorted character flaws or malicious intent. I just learned to interact semi-normally by observing people and getting a lot of practice but I'm still a sperg, appearing normal is still a burdensome conscious effort and I still fuck up constantly. Being considered
attractive is a blessing when it comes to strangers because they're more forgiving, but it makes it nearly impossible to form closer bonds or vent because people find the combination too
sus to trust. Attractive + socially "competent" + suspicion of machiavellianism has made me a great target for mean gossip and people approaching me under the guise of friendship only to later use the information to make fun of me behind my back, and they don't even feel bad because the combination apparently makes me a completely
valid target. I'm high on benzos for an anxiety attack earlier and still feel hesitant to post this out of fear it might be read as a "humblebrag", malicious intent etc the exact same way those people do. Idk, maybe I should stop trying to have friendships altogether
No. 1799908
>>1799474I also think autism is better than bpd to be honest lol it's not a personal attack though
I think it's normal of her to be sceptic and (controversially) I actually think it's a good thing when people around you (and you yourself) question a diagnosis. I think the blind trust in doctors (and tiktokers self-diagnosing) and that "the person said so, so it's undoubtedly true" is a stupid and dangerous narrative in almost any context.
Boys and girls show autism signs differently, so you shouldn't have acted like your nephew. But for other disorders or diseases that's not always true, so it's
valid criticism when you don't know about it. If someone questions your diagnosis, rejoice in that you seem functioning enough to them to not be disordered because that's a compliment kek
No. 1799914
File: 1701768367052.jpg (441.53 KB, 1050x787, nihms-1764344-f0002.jpg)
>>1799558This got me interested so I looked it up, and at least according to this one review (
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/34967130/) there is some overlap in ASD and schizophrenia, and also the risk of developing schizophrenia is higher in those with ASDs. This sort of worries me because I'm paranoid about developing some type of psychotic disorder, since I occasionally have "odd" schizobabble-esque thoughts that just appear out of nowhere. Like I've been really preoccupied with this image that just appeared in my head where there are types of fruit placed on a grey tablecloth in a geometric fashion, and sometimes I become convinced that the patterns mean something, when they are literally just made up. Another time when I was about to do a presentation type of thing on my work, I briefly got the idea that "my work and my presentation = me" so that when they are discussing my presentation, it's like they're cutting up my literal flesh to expose all the connections inside, and I found this idea to be very interesting and felt it made sense, until I realized it was crazy.
I know it sounds weird. I haven't told anyone irl about this because I don't wanna come off as psychotic.
No. 1799926
>>1799609>started coming up with batshit insane theories about how my friends actually hated my ass because they somehow got remote access to the journal I kept on my computer and everyone could hear my thoughts and all of the stuff I thought about them This may sound stupid but if anyone is ever in this kind of paranoid state try to flip it around and keep journals and thoughts positive. I actually think that's a good way to train yourself to be more positive which will make you suffer less.
So even if you think "ugh Sally is such a bitch" and then you have the feeling that she can hear your thoughts, then correct your own thoughts by consciously thinking "actually Sally I'm sorry, that was uncalled for. I'm just in a bad mood today and you're not a bitch.".
Same with journals, if you wrote "Sally did this shitty thing today…" you either reflect over it there and then and realize that's pointless complaining and you should write something positive that happened instead. Or you angrily vent and write it out, but then come back later to add "now that I've calmed down I can see that Sally was having a bad day too and it's not fully her fault even if it hurt me. I hope we both feel better tomorrow". And so on.
No. 1799953
just venting, you don't have to reply or give advice. i was assumed to be autistic by teachers when i was really small but my parents resisted any diagnosis. I don't resent that decision, even if some of it was parental ego in action (my kid is really normal actually!!!!). But then i was also constantly called a retard for exhibiting traits by one
abusive parent. Now that i'm well into adulthood the mere idea of going through with diagnosis (which is real long and complicated here) feels silly. 'Hey, i'm a moderately maladjusted adult and i'm jumping through hoops to get a paper that won't change my life'. I get so embarrassed just picturing it. Ok now i feel a little better kek
>>1709777 'Old' reply but i need to respond because i really feel you. I'm similarly impaired in self care. It's not impossible to find a relatively normal, nice nigel who can accomodate this. I know it's not the easiest task but still. If i had one bit of (cynical) advice, i'd say sensible men (not too sensible, thats cluster B kek) with similar lifestyles to an autist woman (often at home, maybe anxious) tend to be good at caring for us since they can somewhat relate and are often scared to lose a nice girl. (I know this from experience). And, thinking you're not able to have kids is 'normal' in the current age, it means you have a sense of responsibility and who's to say you won't have more energy to raise a kid later in life (i know a blantanly spergy woman who's a good mother, i'd say). As another nonna said these problems also stem from neglect and it will be easier once you have someone worth doing all this for. You're competent enough to hold a job already!
>>1791812Same omg. There used to be this one ad for a disabled charity that showed broken dolls being cared for by a girl and i'd just ugly cry every time, i still vividly remember it sometimes and get sad kek
No. 1799971
File: 1701773580126.jpg (20.7 KB, 480x330, 79854118_1410493145775972_7993…)
>>1799908I don't like feeding into the stigma of BPD as these individuals are usually created, not born that way, however a personality disorder is something really serious indeed and a big pain to have it for the rest of your life.
You and
>>1799592 both mentioned that it's not supposed to show up the same in women and men, I'm just wondering though, how is this? It's not like infants have gender roles as a concept. For example, I understand how small children that are girls are better behaved due to all of these expectations set to us, in comparison to boys simply being let to do whatever the fuck they want, but really small children, like toddlers and babies, don't have these kind of expectations set to them, I feel? I'm mentioning this because my mother brought up how my development was typical and the "issues" showed up after I went to school.
No. 1800320
>>1799971>It's not like infants have gender roles as a conceptSperging time since we're in the sperg thread kek
Just because gender ideology is forced down our throats doesn't mean it's true nona. Gender isn't real, sex is. There is a feminist lie going around that women and men are only different because women are forced to behave nice since they were babies. Not true at all. Males and females are different from birth. We have different bodies with different functions and our brains reflect it from birth. There are for example a ton of upset gender-woke parents who did their darn best to raise their kids gender neutral only to be massively disappointed that their daughter loves pretty princesses and their son pretends everything is a gun he can shoot and kill. They do this naturally despite the parents best effort to keep them from turning out this steretypical way!
Does that mean every girl and boy acts the same? Of fucking course not, it's just a very reliable average that is true all over the world regardless of culture. There's still always a good chunk of gender non-conforming children, the majority of whom grow up to be gay adults (autists are actually also commonly more gender non-conforming as kids). Hence why there are also little (statistically probably will grow up to be gay) boys who love pretty princesses and hate gun toys, and no amount of forcing those boys to toughen up will make their preference go away. No amount of making a girl who loves rough-housing sit still and behave will make her prefer that over running around. Kids are what they are.
Despite their different interests though there's no "cross sex brain" like trans people would suggest, and we do develop SLIGHTLY differently regardless of those interests. Because our brains are SLIGHTLY different. Girls for example do not have bodies that are preparing them to one day go through male puberty - because that's physically impossible for us and we're set for another path. Boys bodies aren't preparing them to go down the road of pregnancy one day as an adult. For fun I included a video showing boys and girls being told to march in sync - the boys are a fucking mess and the girls are all in perfect sync. That's because girls on average develop to be more socially inclined than boys, so they pay attention to each other, while the boys are more focused on themselves. This social difference in particular makes it so autistic girls copy their female friends and mask better, while autist boys are too focused on themselves and just act like little autists so they're more easily spotted.
>I'm mentioning this because my mother brought up how my development was typical and the "issues" showed up after I went to school.For aspergers (highest functioning of autism, ASD level 1) it used to be known that there was often a seemingly normal or even gifted development as a kid - but that the social aspects then fucks it up (like a kid starting school).
No. 1801082
>>1801057are girls "better at masking" or are boys just retarded by default? the age old question kek
the way I see it (as an autist who doesn't mask) you're either a masker or you're not and most people who talk about masking are neurotypical girls who want to feel special online, like you said, and that the "real"/original meaning of masking is different than what they do or even understand because it's so specific to autists who mask. I think what nt people talk about is that people act different in different situations naturally, you can be one way with friends and another with a teacher and a third way with your parentes. It doesn't mean you're masking just becuase you adapt to your surrondings accordingly, which is what i feel nt girls do and they think that's masking even though it's kind of the opposite to masking.
I have on one occassion when people were talking about autism and ADHD pretended to not be autistic (just by failing to disclose it when the opportunity was right there) and let people assume I'm normal instead. Is that masking? lol I don't even know
No. 1801087
>>1800762I feel like such a tinfoil grouch but I don't trust nearly any medication, especially ones that promise to make your mood stable or able to concentrate better. It all just feels like a massive scam that harms people more. I mean if it REALLY worked normal people would be taking it to make their work easier too (especially now that attention spans are worse for everyone thanks to shitty social media).
And if you're in a stressful situation and the future feels uncertain then of course you'll be depressed… and in turn of course your concentration is shit. Is it really your concentration skills that are bad or are you just chronically overwhelemed because none of your exteral stress factors have been addressed in years? It all seems like such a natural reaction but then for certain groups it's like society has decided the only fix is dubious medication that really just make things worse. Idk just sperging here
No. 1801096
>>1800771I think older radfems were fed the idea that "women can do anything a man can do" but they took it literally, so they became obsessed with the idea that men and women are "exactly the same" instead of it meaning "having equal value, but different skills". So they get extremely offended at the idea that on average men are naturally bigger, stronger and more violent and that women are smaller, less physically strong and naturally socially inclined. They think it's 100% nurture and 0% nature that make women and men different. (And some modern ones now think it's 100% nature and 0% nurture instead, meaning that all boys will grow up to be violent rape-apes and can't be stopped no matter what.)
I think it's worth noting that a lot of the earliest radfems were actually non-conforming lesbians so when they said "women actually hate all the stereotypical feminine stuff, it's all a false performance that we hate and we all want to do boy things instead" that was just their own personal reality. They failed to realize for most women they actually liked those feminine coded things and it wasn't a performance for them (and that's how it all became a stereotype in the first place). Non-conforming women (I am one lol) are just as right to do what they want too of course but neither group should have to bash or deny the other over it.
No. 1801103
File: 1701857913294.jpg (219.88 KB, 1280x720, maxresdefault.jpg)
Fidget nonas help me out! Are there any actually good fidget toys that helps you concentrate on what you're doing without annoying people around you or looking too tarded? I hate fidget spinners so not those lol
Things I tend to fidget with most is picking at my nails and skin (I'm also a violent leg-bouncer which annoys everyone close to me but I doubt there's fidget toys for that lol)
No. 1801257
File: 1701874224046.png (58.13 KB, 282x313, back in the box.png)
i wish i could return to being the quiet and aloof person i used to be. i spent years working on my "social anxiety" and speaking up more, and now for some reason i can't shut the fuck up. i still dislike being around people and spend as much time alone as possible but when i do have to interact with people, i've been unable to know when to shut up. i talk too much about things, even when i sense people think it's dumb and i overshare personal things too which i hate and would never do years ago - i was such a private person. i also accidentally talk over people and don't realise until it's too late. i annoy myself. i used to just stand quietly in the corner and observe. i don't miss being called "shy" all the time but i think i somehow respected myself more when i kept myself to myself. now i'm training myself to speak out less and be more reserved again. never thought i'd be doing this.
No. 1801263
>>1800406what kind of work do you do
nonnie? is there anything that could help you?
No. 1801794
>>1801725I related to everything she said except for the part where she goes nonverbal. I have experienced meltdowns before but luckily I never went nonverbal it sounds so uncomfortable.
>I'm on the end of the spectrum where I don't need assistance caring for myselfI wish the aspergers diagnosis wasn't so taboo. It gets tiring to explain why you can live on your own without assistance. Having different words that explains different parts of the spectrum is convinent.
>if you think you're autistic and want an informed opinion talk to your autistic friends about it>if you don't have any autistic friends then I encourage you to find an online community that is just as jazzed about your special interests as you are.I disagree with this point. Not only will an online space say you have autism no matter what, they will also say that everything you do is an autism symptom so you start overanalyzing everything they do.
Her take on self diagnosis was pretty moderate it's a shame age felt the need to apologise over it
No. 1801911
File: 1701908850811.jpeg (62.54 KB, 570x570, 045DC0B0-3EF4-46FD-9A36-259D2C…)
>>1801103I keep a mobii (picrel, it’s like an inch long) on my desk. The rings flip and slide past each other and it’s quiet.
No. 1802276
>>1801794>I disagree with this point. Not only will an online space say you have autism no matter what, they will also say that everything you do is an autism symptom so you start overanalyzing everything they do.Same for me, I think you should avoid autistic online communities, only ever do in person groups that you are then detached from for the rest of the week/month/however long. Anonymous forum posts like this that you check once in a while are ok too, but nothing permanent. Same for any other disability, disorder or disease - those groups keep you sick and keep you from improving. If you're in a group that requires you to struggle or be sick to qualify to be in it, then getting better is suddenly a threat that will get rid of your support group of friends, so you can't ever get better.
It's nice to have a fellow autistic friend who gets you, but it's far more useful to know neurotypicals. And one thing these people rarely mention is that you're more likely to not be compatible with other autists due to sensory issues. One autist might hate loud noises and the other struggle with volume and always scream when they talk. They can never hang out in person without one having a meltdown.
No. 1802512
File: 1701965184143.png (779.1 KB, 623x611, 1654031141229.png)
probably has been talked about before but how do you guys learn to unmask around the people you love or enjoy spending time with? i find it a struggle to truly be myself in any situation. i have such crippling anxiety about ever embarrassing myself or being rejected/abandoned because of something i do or say that i avoid the most simple things like playing games i don't know well with my friends.
it's overwhelming. i want to be able to sit down with my friends and play a comfy new game without being doubled over in fear. it has made me lose friendships, and the ones that i have sometimes feel strained. my mind goes to the extremes, like they'll never talk to me again if i perform badly in a game. help …..
No. 1804015
>>1802512Ask yourself how you'd look at your friend if they failed at the game. Would you hate them and think they suck? If no, then realize they won't think that about you. There's also no shame in saying things like "I've never played it before and I'm bad at games so this first game will be a test round, expect me to lose big haha".
But also don't force yourself to unmask if you can't do it naturally, just act in the way that makes you the most comfortable.
No. 1804299
File: 1702066280084.jpg (161.39 KB, 1024x957, 1562091367011.jpg)
Is there an honest to god way of reversing or getting rid of selective eating caused by autism and sensory issues? I have a palate barely good enough not to be considered childish through years of effort (and I'm skinnyfat enough for people to not think I'm an unhinged fatass but just someone with an eccentric palete). How do I genuinely get over every cell in my body attempting to hurl at eating anything with a texture I don't like? I'm scared of developing health issues because of my retard brain. I'm specifically looking for anything with fiber and/or protein. Autistic or even normie anons pls are there are fruits and veggies without a cancerous texture that I can just casually eat
No. 1804321
>>1804299autistic anon with a bland noodles, chicken fingers and diet soda palate. im not a gymfag but i use whey protein and protein powders in smoothies and sometimes i put some veggies in there that are less noticeable since i hate the texture of most meat and need the protein. also, like another nona said, nuts are super good for protein and so are eggs.
>fruits and veggies without a cancerous texturepersonally i love watermelon and i find that not very offensive for me. also, grapes when they're frozen are super nice. if you like soft food, i also eat a lot of jell-o with fruit pieces in. you can also prepare most veggies to be more crunchy or soft depending on which you prefer. i HATE mushrooms and tomatoes so much - those are the things i have the most trouble fitting into my diet. the rest i blend into a sauce/soup or cut small enough to where the bites aren't noticeable.
you can also do a lot of baking with protein powder added in if you have more of a sweet tooth and like soft, sweet foods. sorry that this might not be the best advice since i don't really try to alter my palate all too much, but these are some things i do when people nag at me.
No. 1804515
>>1804309Yes, I do that pretty often actually. I'm a smoothie enjoyer and it does readily work. Thing is I only do that with fruits, and I'm still managing to miss out on fiber so I think I'm going to try your suggestion of creamed soups. As for shit that sets me off I'd say mushy textures and specifically eggs. I legitimately thought I hated bananas until I had a fake banana off of those fake japanese DIY food kits and then I figured out I just hate the texture rather than the taste. I already made a habit of taking daily multivitamins since my teens, but I don't know why I never tried to supplement fiber. I have some fibre supplements in my fridge somewhere so I can just use that
>>1804321Thanks for the suggestions. I love sweet shit so I think I'll enjoy getting into protein baking
>sorry that this might not be the best advice since i don't really try to alter my palate all too muchNo, it's totally good. I made the post in the first place because I recently got a health scare so now I really have to clean up my act. Thank goodness I got my bloodwork done like 2 or 3 weeks ago
No. 1805297
>>1804299I was able to overcome this
somewhat by becoming utterly obsessed with nutrition. A bit too obsessed at one point and I've had to try and dial back because I became too afraid of most foods, even my previous safe foods. But the point is the importance of nutrition overrode my fear of the textures for the most part. Now I love lots of different vegetables, lentils, beans etc. So it is possible to do. However, anytime I am particularly anxious or come across a
bad mushy or rotten fruit or vegetable, I am set back and have to re-train myself to "trust" the food again (kek). I have safe healthy foods that I generally always trust, like; raw carrots, raisins, cooked apple, brown rice, hummus and cooked peas. Smoothies and soups are great too. Do you like nuts? Cashews are quite "bland" but good for fiber and protein.
No. 1805588
>>1805574I'm not THAT deviant or risky, plus I lack a flat affect which is common in both ASPD and ASD, I'm very expressive and can be somewhat neurotic. I know the ICD-11 has completely changed how these things work so maybe I'd fit into something better today. I have decent cognitive empathy but my emotional empathy is rockier. It's weird because a lot of ASD-specific traits apply to me but I haven't struggled with sensory issues since I was a child, I'm not rigid and routine-oriented enough and I only struggle with communication because I choose to. I know the spectrum is very wide now and can even fit in people with higher cognitive empathy but I feel kind of iffy about this, is this really the right way to go about things? I'd like to say that I'm normal but I've had pretty debilitating issues since my late childhood and everyone around me knows I have some sort of deeper complex problem going on. I dropped out of school when I was 14 and struggle to establish connections towards anyone outside of my mother, people are just so fucking boring to me. I have very ambitious goals but I can't even hold a fucking job or do any online courses. SOrry for blogposting, I usually come here just to troll.
>>1805583I want to say I would use that information to help, but what possible help would it give me if I do hav ASD? There's no special medicine and I don't think therapy tailored towards people with ASD would help me at all. The worst part about it is that its recommended that people with ASD get reasonable adjustments from their workplace or whatever and you have to baby yourself so that you dont' have a fucking meltdown. Sorry but that sounds like hell to me. I'm really going to be something great one day, having ASD would just limit me.
No. 1806244
>>1805588>plus I lack a flat affect which is common in both ASPD and ASDI've only met one single aspergian with a flat voice, out of like 30 people. I've met several who emote "too much" (in particular when emotional) so to me that's a bigger sign for autism. A flat voice reads as a much higer level autism to me.
>I'm very expressive and can be somewhat neurotic.This is much more common for autists than being flat from what I've seen, although I think in most cases it's the ADHD overlap? But it's not like it's exclusive to autism or adhd either way.
>and I only struggle with communication because I choose to.Nice cope anon kek
>I'd like to say that I'm normal but I've had pretty debilitating issues since my late childhoodObviously we don't know you in person and aren't psychiatrists, but your posts all read as "I don't have autism because of this:
lists a bunch of autism signs and symptoms". But it's still of course possible you don't have autism and instead have something else, like bpd or adhd or just a good ol' developmental disorder that's not autism. Or maybe you're just lazy and/or a bit too narcissistic, thinking you're able to do big things without effort so you quit the second it actually gets hard (not trying to insult you by saying that, I think it's actually pretty common in people).
>but what possible help would it give me if I do hav ASD? There's no special medicine and I don't think therapy tailored towards people with ASD would help me at all.What more specifically do you think ASD therapy looks like, and why do you think it wouldn't help you? Can you pinpoint what you would actually need help with, if anything?
>you have to baby yourself so that you dont' have a fucking meltdown. Sorry but that sounds like hell to me. I'm really going to be something great one day, having ASD would just limit me.I as a diagnosed sperg have never had a meltdown in my entire life, and I've been thriving at a stable dream job for many years now. You can't even hold a job. In fact you couldn't even finish school at a very low easy level. And you don't have friends and can't make connections to people. With all due respect but be it a disorder or not from my perspective you're the one who's living in hell anon. You think you're going somewhere with nothing to prove for it, yet I am already somewhere. Maybe the only thing you're suffering from is delusion.
No. 1806434
>>1806244Seconded kek. That anon sounds like a sperg in denial. Although I kind of understand: a lot of people assume autist=social retard. This is usually not the case with female autists. I read somewhere that female autists are usually at least as socially capable as neurotypical men. Or they are hyperempathic which either shows up as over-emoting or shutting down. Anyway I'm sorry but
>>1805588 you are likely autistic or maybe have ctpsd which apparently gets mistaken for autism often (which I personally take with a grain of salt).
No. 1806604
>>1806584There was a certain kind of arrogance in your posts, that's why anons got on your case, because it seems like you're dismissive right off the bat, and have some delusion of control over your life when later descriptions completely contradict it. No one is saying it's your fault you have mental issues, but we cannot judge how much effort you put into work or just developing functional habits, because you sound barely functional. To go to talking about huge ambitions and that you're afraid of the vulnerability presented in asking for any kind of accomodation when you are obviously struggling seems very conceited. Sure there are eccentric weirdos solving century old mathematical problems lying in their unwashed sheets winning awards occasionally, but most need some kind of connection with the outside world to make something happen and to stay grounded in reality and see the opportunities.
Even if something seems like very basic, "duh" advice, they might just try to make you develop some productive habits, it's not because they look down on you and think you haven't even thought of doing your bed in the morning, or that doing it once will magically solve your problems (maybe not the best example, but whatever).
No. 1806625
>>1806616I don't know how old you are, but I also had a hard time finishing anything, I left two undergraduate programs in my early 20's, had to be
physically forced to take my final exams in high school and a whole string of dumbass avoidance issues. I did not get any professional help, and barely did any work on myself, I've spent 2 years as a NEET after leaving education.
What actually helped is literally just getting older. After around 26 my brain just chilled out, my blood chemistry and mood wasn't that fucked anymore. It doesn't mean I don't struggle, but it almost 100% stopped my self-pitying doomer spirals and made it easier to stay committed, I didn't feel like I was fighting losing battles anymore, and I sure as hell didn't put any extra effort in during my NEET years. It really isn't an advice, but maybe something you can hope for.
No. 1809598
>>1806584>>1806616>I just can't complete anything for some reason. It doesn't matter how hard I try, after a few months of trying to do something I'm just suddenly incapable of doing anything. I don't expect anyone to understand.Girl first of all chill out, we're all literally fucking autistic here lol we know what it's like to struggle from having a disability, you're not special nor alone in this. I don't know if you're still around the thread but I hope so.
>They don't even understand wtf is going on with me, they just tell me to get an ASD assessment and thats it.>I've tried a shit load of therapy and it doesn't work.>I swear to god I have tried so hard.>I hate therapy because its a waste of time, money and I lose a little more hope every time I've tried it. Anon I truly believe you when you say you have tried hard, but you're also the one who refuses to get an ASD assessment becuase it would "limit" you. Limit you from fucking what? Being miserable like you currently are? You're now putting limits on yourself, and for what? Some sort of pride that your suffering is better than being labeled with ASD? Even though a diagnosis of ASD, or something else, could open up new opportunities to support and help you. It may not be ASD, it could be ADHD, ADD, bipolar disorder or something else.
Here's a less known fact about therapy: it tends to be inefficient on autistic people specifically. I spent a whole ass decade going to shit therapy and it did nothing for me, people around me just told me to "keep trying" even when I tried to explain it did nothing for me to the point it felt like gaslighting. One day I found out it's a known fact that therapy often doesn't work well with autists because our brains are "wired differently" and I was so pissed off I stopped going to therapy after that. What I needed wasn't talk-based therapy about feelings and thoughts, I needed actual CBT and practical training to deal with my issues. Most of the training I had to do by myself, because I knew the medical team didn't actually have my back. I also had to get myself out of the medical system at that point becuase I realized they just left me with a sort of learned helplessness that kept me "sick" and stuck where I was.
Therapy CAN be great and help people - if you know what to get help with. Right now, neither you nor they know what's "wrong" with you so you should push for assessments and go from there. Once you have a professionals opinion on what you have you can do further research with how to cope and thrive.
>I guess some of you are right and I probably would qualify as an autist and I am pathetic and delusional for thinking I will ever make it in life.Half-right. It is delusional to think you'll make it IF you keep going down THIS path you're currently on. It's also delusional to think you can't make it as an autist - which you may or may not be. Elon Musk is a fucking weeb billionaire lol autists can and do make it big time all the time. What you need is change and to move to a different path in life.
>Accepting my sad reality doesn't help me, at least being delusional motivates me to push myself.Anon the "sad reality" isn't a permanent state, but if you keep being delusional about it you'll really stay in it forever. You have to accept that at your current position those great things aren't possible, but that if you change they can be and use the motivation to becoming great for real.
Again, we don't know you but from what you've posted you at least need the following:
>Get assessed for ASD and other disorders. Getting a diagnosis will grant you access to better help and accomodation at work, which you will most likely need. (Possibly also disability money for when you're out of work) >Get better social skills. You say you don't really have communication issues, but you lack social skills and life experiences.>Friends and irl social gatherings are vital. I really mean that. You need to socialize regularly outside of just your mother. I don't care in what cringe way you make friends, join a grandma knitting group if that's all you can find.>Get a clear and solid idea of what "being something great" means. What exactly do you want to do or make?>Get the education for whatever that is.And lastly I'm going to tell you that it isn't your fault. First of all you shouldn't have been allowed to drop out of school at 14, that's a failure of the school, your parents, other adults around you at the time. Don't hold any grudges towards them though, that won't help you. You literally have the power within you to fix yourself and become great. It's not going to be easy, but I promise you can do it if you only find the right path. I can tell you one positive thing about you though - you aren't just motivated by delusion, but also by a lot of passion and hope because you truly do want to become something great. That's a good thing, a lot of people don't even have that so you're already more likely to succeed. Hang onto that feeling, let go of the delusions, and redirect it towards things that will actually help you reach that greatness.
No. 1811901
File: 1702565131678.jpg (445.27 KB, 1080x2015, Screenshot_20231214_084618.jpg)
>>1811847I agree so hard, and its like every place even chill coffee shops around here turn up the music loud enough to make even normies mad about not being able to hear each other. I dont even like going anywhere to have a cute snack and journal/draw unless it is the library which has a (sadly a bit subpar) cafe cart thing in the breezeway with a few benches. I found this app called Sound Print that is a collection of decible ratings at local establishments and gives awards to the quiet ones kek. Its user data based, I wish it had more info but now my Nigel and I's 'thing' is going to various cafes and restaraunts (when we can afford it anyway) and taking a sound sample thru the app to record if it has pleasing decible levels or not
No. 1811902
I finally went to a neuro, as my psychologist suggested, she gave me a questionary that might make me eligeble for ADHD medication, but her impression is that my autism signs are very mild, aka I might not be autistic even tho my therapist suspects of it more than of ADHD. So she asked for my parents to come to the next appointment so she can know more about how I was growing up and all that, but I frankly think it is kind of misleading. They went to an appointment with my psychiatrist before and they were full of euphemism, they are embaressed of me being mentally ill and they want to make themselves look better, they will say shit like "oh she has so much potential, shhe can communicate if she wants to" to the doctor, but to my face it is "you're a lazy pig, you don't want anything, you are slow, you won't make it in your degree becaue all these people are so much outgoing unlike you". Like, they twist things in this normalcy that not even they believe in, then I'll have to go throught the work of undoing the shit they say to the doctors after, it is so annoying.
No. 1816467
>>1815458I guess the question would be for the ADHD nonas in here, but I assume most people in the autism thread don't know about being misdiagnosed with it lol
There's A LOT of incentive for people to want to be autists online, to the point that people fake it, so I doubt there are many people talking about being misdiagnosed. And similarly to trans ideology I think other fakers would shun and discredit anyone talking about being misdiagnosed as it would discredit their own larp.
I would honestly love it if dis-diagnosing yourself became a trend among people online, doing the opposite of what people do now when they're like "fun fact, if you wear your socks inside out that makes you an autist!" and people instead went "actually I was misdiagnosed and will no longer identify with this label. Wearing my socks inside out is actually pretty normal and not disordered". To some degree I think it would even help the real autists/other disorders to distance themselves from their disorder. Just because I was diagnosed with autism doesn't mean that all of my issues were directly caused by it.
No. 1819419
File: 1703001738054.png (212.17 KB, 778x862, 1625006803815.png)
>>1819115Kek. Men's grooming toolkit is powerless against the autistic girl's need to be factual and true at all times. Good for you. I avoided being groomed by the black and white thinking my mother instilled in me with sexual boundaries. in my mind, a boundary was a line that a man is never ever allowed to cross, so any man that tried to logic his way around them was met with a repeated verbal no's and a hard shove when he touched me, even if it was a light touch on the shoulder or a hug in a group setting.
No. 1824142
>>1811877>If/when it's warm enough outside, I suggest switching to picnicsnayrt but unfortunately that wont work either if you want to escape music because people bring speakers with them everywhere.
Non autists have a weird need to have background music playing everywhere. It doesn't even set the mood lol. They will just have a calm picnic where all they do is talk and they will still blast loud club music and bother everyone else
No. 1824757
>>1824689How old are you? If you're an adult you should be able to schedule an appointment for yourself and you can lie to your parents what it's about if needed. If not maybe you can at least get them to let you talk to a therapist, and ask the therapist to help you get assessed. At that point you'll be able to say "my therapist recomended it".
But more actual advice on how to convince them: Say things like you also don't know if you have ADD, but since a number of symptoms match you'd like to at least get tested in case they can help you get better/cope. At worst you just get it confirmed that you don't have it, in which case they'd be proven right and you'll be forced to drop that thought - so that would be a win for them.
Is there any legit reason why they think you don't have ADD? Such as past trauma, or chronic depression, no hints of it from childhood? If so it could be worth looking into those things first. Sometimes we just get fully convinced the answer is A when from an outside perspective it's clearly B. And especially when you're forgetting things and dissociating like you describe your brain might not make the correct conclusions. Not saying I doubt you, but keep an open mind! Your symptoms exist but the cause might not be what you think. Seeing the
victims of the trans cult has taught me to be very cautious with what people "think" they know about themselves. Both for myself and others.
No. 1826415
>>1824798Perfect, tell them you're getting treatment for your anxiety. If they ask why you have an ADD/ADHD diagnosis, tell them it's a new way of writing 'anxiety' for doctors. Your meds are also for anxiety, as is your therapy. When you start to function like a normal person, it's because you're less anxious. I've used this approach with relatives who religiously follow Facebook conspiracy theories and want me to swallow bleach or shove moonstones in my ass at high tide or whatever's being shilled as a cure for my ADHD. It sucks that you have to do this with your parents, but hey, it works.
Don't bother making them understand anything. They're only going to double down the more you try to explain. I mean, the retard genes did come from somewhere kek.
No. 1826426
>>1824798I can see why, anxiety is an emotion while autism/adhd is a permanent diagnosis so it sounds a lot less scary. I think lying is the best way, or half-lie and say it's for your anxiety because that's true - finding out if you have ADD/ADHD/other so you can treat it and learn to cope is literally trying to help your anxiety too.
I think to some degree having a diagnosis in their generation did harm the person more than help so they're not necessarily just being stubborn about it. And when they saw a diagnosed person that was a proper retard, and they know you're not that. Tiktok fakers didn't exist to normalize it yet.
My mom first flat out disagreed when I talked about getting diagnosed. A little while later she came around to it, she just needed some time to realize what would help her child most.
No. 1829068
>>1829027I always assume other autistic women online are fakers even if they're not kinky or weird. Especially if they're out and proud talking about their autism and stims. Not on lolcow because it's anonymous, but anywhere a person can accumulate clout and publicly post their face.
I used to feel bad seeing tiktoks/reels of "autistic" girls having cutesy stims and mannerisms and being called adorable while I have weird friendless bitch autism and am automatically found weird or annoying, I guess I'm that gullible. But then my family explained to me that they probably don't have it and are just attention whoring on the internet and I started seeing it once it was pointed out to me.
No. 1829138
>>1829034>I'm not that type of autist but I wonder if it would've made things easier kek. they seem so much happierI am that type of autist, but I can't stand the coomer parts that the rest are into so I'm not happier lol
>>1829068>I always assume other autistic women online are fakers even if they're not kinky or weird. Especially if they're out and proud talking about their autism and stims. This is embarrassing to admit but I used to want to be one of the "autism influencers" lol I was inspired by a girl who made really basic/informative videos talking about aspergers in a realistic way to a small audience on youtube and I wanted to be like her, so nothing flashy like we see these days, but still. At one point I even made a video (it's been deleted since) and it was well-recieved by the (very few) people who watched it. I still can't imagine being one of the "HEY KIDS LET'S TALK 'BOUT the 'TISM, LOOK AT my new stimmystim toys-".
But I still daydream about it sometimes, I'd love to be the one honest autist who is like "most of these people online are probably fakers, aspergers isn't a bad nazi-term and shouldn't have been merged with autism, actors don't have to be autistic to play autistic, a lot of trans
victims are autists, minor ableism isn't the end of the world…" all those opinions that are unacceptable for some reason lol but I know I'd get death threats from mentally ill autist troons and I don't have the energy for that.
No. 1832942
File: 1703850829927.jpeg (524.4 KB, 1167x1897, IMG_9166.jpeg)
>>1831426I kinda feel like Deerhunter hits this spot for me a lot of the time. The singer has marfan's and is quite quirky so the sense of isolation feels genuine.
Sadly it's mostly male artists doing it for me, like radiohead, and I feel like a bit of an incel while listening to it kek
No. 1832954
>>1832929I can relate a lot, 99% of my unhinged internet posting has been done on vyvanse and coffee. If you don't control the heightened autism powers you'll end up in the deepest online rabbit holes kek
Don't despair btw. The first 2 days are for sure the worst, I've been taking a break to restart later and now after maybe 5 days I feel pretty normal again. The first days you just want to sleep and feel hit by a truck and everything is annoying as fuck
No. 1832974
>>1831426many people call Cool Kids by Echosmith cliche but tbh it really captures how it feels to not connect with other people. I like this line:
>i wish that I could be like the cool kids cause all the cool kids they seem to get itit's not deep or poetic but it bluntly says what i feel like. All my peers where able to "get" something I couldn't. They understood how to socialise and how to small talk and how to act in public. While I was never able to do these things no matter how hard I tried.
its cringey but Simple Song by Miley Cyrus describes how it feels like to feel overwhelmed. Though I doubt the the songwriters intended it to be about sensory overload.
I know these songs are made for middle schoolers so forgive me lol.
I have a playlist with relatable songs and the ones about loneliness and not being able to connect with others are mostly tween songs. many loneliness songs written for adults tends to involve dating or sex. I do like those songs I just don't find them relatable since my autism makes dating impossible for me No. 1833103
File: 1703866225813.gif (187.58 KB, 480x355, Rolling girl.gif)
>>1833005I was about to post that song kek
>trying again and again and failingautism really does feel like an evil circle where you never progress no matter how hard you try
No. 1833181
File: 1703870474047.png (27.93 KB, 275x818, tomsdiner.PNG)
>>1831426Sorry that this is more ballad than harsh but Tom's Diner by Suzanne Vega really does it for me. I love all of the lines about how she would "look the other way" when strangers are kissing hello or is "trying not to notice" a woman's hair getting wet in the rain. Like she's trying to have a normal day reading the paper in a cafe like everybody else, but there's a gazillion insignificant things that pull her attention without involving her. I think it shows the sort of intrusive isolation a lot of autistic women go through well.
No. 1833229
>>1831426If you can speak Spanish i really like prepárame la cena by calle 13. The song is about being in jail. This are the translated lyrics of my favorite part:
>I look outside and I look insideSeclusion is my meeting point
I fall into the margins
But at some point, we all misbehave
>And who determines what is right and wrong,what's unhealthy and what's healthy?
Of the raw and the cooked, there is a large difference
And to cook in the middle ground is not rocket science
>In this life you punished me,Robbed me of time, then f**ked me over again and again
My guilt is like an empty bowl
Like judging the sun for coming up in the morning
>If my sadness makes you happyIt’s because your rules are different from mine
I believe in everything I see
And even though I’m an atheist I pray so ugly things won’t happen to me
>To dream with my departure and your arrival hereI do not need a matre with my pillow
I am free because I fly away from here
The only touch is to break free from the ground
>Make me dinner, because I am returning soon… No. 1833410
File: 1703881700990.gif (1.23 MB, 400x316, received_1751225118457564.gif)
>>1833005>>1833103What the actual fuck, I was about to post this song as a reply but I stopped myself because I thought I would unironically be made fun of in the autism thread lmao. I feel like this song really spoke to 13 year old me in ways therapy never could
No. 1834277
>>1831426the tourist by radiohead
remain in light by talking heads in it's entirety is an album i associate with autism
No. 1834997
>>1834840I wouldn't say it's DUE to social deficits, but when I was diagnosed (as a kid) and later had the diagnosis re-checked for some reason (as a teenager), they kept saying I had strangely high social apathy for a person of my skill profile. I suck at gaining or maintaining friendships that don't circle around some repeated common activity like school, I just don't contact people. Sometimes I want to talk to people but in that case I talk to my colleagues or my parents. I have no idea how adults manage friendships on their freetime. If I was jobless I'd go full hermit. Maybe you could try to schedule some activity that forces you to be social with people, like a hobby group. Then you'd have a reason to meet people and a subject to talk about.
It's not like I hate social situations now that I've learned to manage them, but I feel equally comfortable at home alone. The only sligthly depressing thing about my situation is that I'll probably never get into a romantic relationship and I'll die a khv. I'd like to experience that some day but also dating seems annoying and stressful and I just can't be arsed to do that when I'm reasonably happy on my own.
No. 1836065
File: 1704125548201.jpeg (4.84 KB, 150x150, DyiJ94aWsAAlTIm.jpeg)
Holy shit, sometimes I wish I didn't had tits. Not in a tranny "I wanna chop my breast" way, but I wish I had smaller breast, an A cup max, but no. I put loose shirts because when I see myself I expect to see a young girl but a see a woman with natural curves and I wanna die lol
I see the clothes that I'd like to wear and then I remember it would look bad on me because my boobs would stick out like a sore thumb.
I want a reduction surgery desperately kek
No. 1838852
>>1838825the good news is that reading is a skill that you can train. I go trough periods where i obsessively read and periods where i dont read at all. Whenever i need to get into the groove of reading again i reread a book from my childhood because they are short and i already know what happens. When i finish that i can pick up a book for adults.
Maybe try reading books with movie adaptations or books you already have read? That way you dont have to stress over understanding every word because you already are familiar with the story and characters. Then when you have gotten used to finishing a whole book you can pick up a book where you don't know the story. Basically what I'm saying is get into the habit of reading by reading books you are familiar with
No. 1838853
>>1838825i sometimes get momments where i pick up something and won't put it down and i read it to the end.
Same with everything, like studying or playing a videogame or watching movies. I am completely broken 90% of the time but then one day i can brute force my way into a marathon of the whole thing.
No. 1838855
>>1838825I put on audiobooks and go for long walks, clean my house, stuff like that. like
>>1838843 said, my mind wanders if I’m just sitting, unless like
>>1838853 I’m hyperfixating. this has the added benefit of sneaking in some physical activity.
No. 1839146
>>1838987for me is not that i don't enjoy it, i like books, i want to read the damn book, i want to do the thing but my mind makes it difficult to progress and then i feel like shit for not being able to do the thing i wanted to do.
If i just give in i will just stare at the walls all day wasting time and walking around the house like a maniac. Is not even like i will do something else i enjoy, i will just waste time and not do anything at all
No. 1841661
>>1839990I know you're venting but it's kinda true. I also know there's supposedly a huge overlap in the two conditions but I'm a sceptic of it. I fully believe there's overdiagnosing going on of both conditions. Especially mixed with other mental disorders/disabilities.
Autism
>social deficiency>long time hyperfocus (special interests)>sensitivity issues (touch, smell, sight or sound)ADHD
>lack of concentration>short period hyperfocus>trouble starting/finishing tasksI feel like autists can be bigger and more obvious 'tards, yet they seem to cope better than ADHDers in the end. It's not unheard of to see successful autists because they're long time hyperfocuing on some nerdy shit that allows them to be great in that area. But while the ADHD people seem to do better on a daily basis but they never finish things and never end up going anywhere due to it. I truly don't know which is worse to deal with.
No. 1841676
>>1839990someone made an adhd thread but it died down because adhdanons kept posting in this thread instead. Its a shame. There are some issues that are specific to adhd
>>1841661I have seen some burgers online who are advocating for merging autism and adhd but i doubt that these people have any impact regarding stuff like that
No. 1841866
File: 1704592252617.jpg (85.6 KB, 500x669, 7SuyPW0.jpg)
I just randomly remembered my ex hysterically yelling at me that no one will ever want me because guys like Asuka, not Rei! Yep, I am still boyfriend-free.
No. 1842507
File: 1704642341838.jpg (150.94 KB, 2000x2000, 715XzKhLEcL.jpg)
to any anons with noise sensitivy, i bought loop earplugs about a week ago and they've helped me a lot. works a lot better than any foam earplugs i have tried (which just hurt and fall out my ears anyway)
No. 1842820
>>1841773I thought they just renamed Asperger's to ASD. Is there a merge of severe retardation autism and high functioning now?
Side note that I always hated the name Asperger's and initially thought it was some kind of insult an antivaxer made up.
No. 1845225
>>1842820It was sometimes described/explained as "they renamed it" but they didn't really. They removed aspergers fully from the DSM (it's still in other systems and is thus still given out as a
valid diagnosis using those systems) and instead redirected the symptoms ("merged") it under the autism/autism spectrum disorder diagnosis which came in 3 levels. Aspergerians are now slapped with a level 1, or occasionally level 2 instead. Dumb stupid shit basically.
So yes, they now call high functioning asperger millionaires like Elon Musk by the same name as drooling autistic people with a IQ of 70 who can't tie their own shoes or wear socks because it gives them a meltdown. It was harmful to both ends of this so called spectrum and I could write a book on how fucked up it is. It's not helpful to assume a level 3 autist can become a millionaire using some special savant skill, and it's not helpful to assume Elon Musk needs help tying his owm shoes to not have a meltdown. It's impossible to cover both groups needs at once because they're not related at all.
I truly feel there is a difference between a level 1 autist and someone with aspergers. It's like (using their language) there's a hidden level 0 that gets forgotten. I don't know enough to pinpoint exactly what I mean yet though. People with aspergers make sense to me, I get how they think because I also think that way. People with autism make as little sense as neurotypicals, it's like they both on a different setting than me.
>Side note that I always hated the name Asperger's and initially thought it was some kind of insult an antivaxer made up.kek roasting german names just like that. I don't mind the actual name, but in English (USA at least) people incorrectly say it like "ass-burger" which sounds retarded as fuck. I honestly just call myself an aspie if someone asks.
No. 1846429
>>1845385What traits do autism and ADHD actually share? When I try to think about it the traits from each disorder make it seem like the cause would be different.
Lack of paying attention? ADHD is distracted by other things, autism doesn't have the social need to pay attention to another person so they miss it.
Can't sit still? ADHD impulsively getting distracted while knowing they should sit still, autism doesn't know about the social norm to sit still so gets up when inappropriate.
No. 1849249
>>1847111Thank you
Nonnie. I am back home thankfully.
I thought I was mentally prepared to go there but it was just so overstimulating.
No. 1850096
Anyone else just really tired all the time? I feel like I can't go a day without taking a nap, or when I can't, wanting to desperately take a nap. It's astounding how many hours I can sleep on a day if not stopped.
>>1845225The levels often feel arbitrary too. I saw some random lower functioning autist that was still verbal in a video but he was somehow level 3. Either there need to be more levels or the system needs to be redesigned from the ground up.
I personally haven't seen it more then once, but I've heard a lot about self-diagnosed or barely diagnosed autists trying to pretend their level is higher then it really is. Like if you're living independently/traveling all the time you aren't more then level 1.
>>1846429As someone diagnosed with both it feels like a crapshoot honestly. I try to get more specialized help and the autism specialist will say I have more ADD troubles, but the ADD specialist will say I have more autism troubles. So basically they don't really know how to separate it either.
No. 1850130
File: 1705092201277.jpeg (57.13 KB, 750x500, IMG_6045.jpeg)
>>1850096I have an unholy quad of disorders on top of neurodivergencies so it's always hard to figure out what's causing the actual problem
>adhd>asd>bipolar>bpdor maybe it's ptsd but I'm not sure if I consider that a disorder as much as it's just a byproduct of my trauma and all the aforementioned. I refuse to call myself "anxiety disordered" anymore because it was a precursor to the above and is basically a symptom of it. I find that "anxiety" is just a trivialization of how retarded i am, and it's hard to treat my retardation because it quite literally is impossible to pinpoint what's causing me to be dysfunctional at any given time
>Anyone else just really tired all the time? I feel like I can't go a day without taking a nap, or when I can't, wanting to desperately take a nap. It's astounding how many hours I can sleep on a day if not stopped.I am tired all the time and then I struggle to sleep when I'm in a manic state so it's even worse. I can't sleep for longer than 8 hours and I have sleep interruptions. It bettered when i restarted meds but it still happens
>>1845225>It's not helpful to assume a level 3 autist can become a millionaire using some special savant skill, and it's not helpful to assume Elon Musk needs help tying his owm shoes to not have a meltdown. It's impossible to cover both groups needs at once because they're not related at all.Now I'm imagining Elon can't tie his own shoes. Jokes aside, it's weird how it just sounds like levels translated from high functioning, moderately functioning, low functioning. It's been years since I was diagnosed but I don't understand why some in the community considered "low functioning" to be ableist which is why I imagine they changed to levels. It's a much better descriptor to say low functioning, that's what a nonverbal autist is- than say what it used to be called- retarded. What's the point in changing the syntax and adding levels under one umbrella when those levels are basically the same shit as what they had before cramped forcibly under one umbrella. They still represent functionality kek
Also someone informed me that a bunch of psychs merged ADD/ADHD like one of them doesn't differ from the other at all?
No. 1850158
>>1850130>it's weird how it just sounds like levels translated from high functioning, moderately functioning, low functioning. It's been years since I was diagnosed but I don't understand why some in the community considered "low functioning" to be ableist which is why I imagine they changed to levels.First ayrt and while I don't follow the more academic discourse closely, you're correct. But even now people are fighting because levels are ALSO mean and ableist and everyone should just be either high functioning in some ways and low in others. I hate people in academia and/or those who make their disorder their life so much because they fucked it up for everyone else. Because you as a smart autist who is now a PHD holder in their special interest are absolutely not equipped to say that saying a 50 IQ 15 year old that can't do any form of communication being called low functioning is somehow mean and detrimental to their care. But it's always the ones who make it their entire personality that get to say the most (to a certain degree that makes sense as they're the ones who become 'activists')
None of these people even realize that most of society still thinks in terms of classic autism and aspergers. Personally I was diagnosed with and preferred the latter because of the sheer stigma saying autism has. At least with aspergers people assume I'm smart but weird. Honestly I could go on forever about how fucked up the system is for autism in particular, but all of the regular online spaces for someone with autism are filled with those self-diagnosed and those that talk about how fun autism is and this thread is the only one where people with a similar mindset are.
No. 1850173
>>1850158When I was diagnosed I remember it being shameful and while I've come to accept what I am, I really hate mentioning it to people. I often only mention my ADHD off the bat and wait to tell people about my other issues to avoid the stigmatization of either being compared to some drooling 60 iq brainlet or an embarrassing male autist like fictional Sheldon Cooper or IRL Elon Musk, and my other issues will get me called a manipulative bitch. Everyone likes to assume I'm a genius or too retard to function
we are not all the same even on the level of high functioning, thee new categorization doesn't help. and it's worse for women. We are by far under diagnosed. I went to "social skillz" groups in highschool where high functioning people were treated like we were 70 iq low functioning 8 year olds. I don't fetishize or enjoy my mental and neurodevelopmental issues, they inhibit my everyday life. I really wish I could put them in the rearview, deny them, coexist with them like some people do, instead of coping and seething that I'm not normal. when I try and be myself I'm accused of playing up my weirdness on purpose when that's just how I am because it's not the tasteful and sanitized weirdness that comes out of 2 minute stimming videos. When I mask myself suddenly I'm this flat and lifeless imposter. It's like I can't have it good either way, you're just not normal and people don't treat you as normal, and the fetishism and discourse within the community grates at sane autists who just want to be normal
No. 1850183
>>1850130Looking at that picture makes me feel like shit, I'm surely level one because I can talk to people and shit but it requires so much brain power that I feel tired as fuck afterwards.
I will never be normal.
No. 1850184
>>1849249glad you're home
nonnie and that you'll feel better soon. how anyone is meant to get actually better in hospitals is beyond me with all the noise, lights and stress. sleep and relaxation is impossible.
No. 1850187
File: 1705095242038.jpeg (17 KB, 730x430, Shutterstock_203135416-730x430…)
>>1850096i know it's a meme about the social battery thing but literally my eyes will start to hurt after more than 2 hours of socialising. when i have work meetings i use my lunch break to nap/close my eyes because i literally can't keep them open afterwards. i get tired very easily from other things too, the smallest amounts of stressors and it's very annoying. makes me feel depressed. i think our nerves just get taxed too easily and that makes us tired.
No. 1850230
>>1850215I know of autists who are like how you described, they're just not the ones we see talked about much or shown in the media, for obvious reasons. The distant, loner autist used to be the default stereotype but has now been replaced by the quirky and gregarious autist. Those feelings (or lack of) could be explained by other things though.
Different to what you describe but I do struggle with a lack of warmth and don't ever feel "love" or adoration for other people, I don't crave their company and I don't miss them if I never see them again. Definitely have some detachment issues but not to the point where I have no compassion.
No. 1850231
>>1850187I probably need Vyvanse or Addies or something if not Buspirone again but all I'm taking is my fucking mood stabilizer. The only thing that sucks is that it's making me itch. I do not remember having these sensory side effects the last time I took it. This is the least side effective fucking one. Go off it for 2 years and then this pops up. Probably because I spent those 2 years being traumatized with nerves in constant physical overdrive on top of the manic depressive shifting. I have no signs of the rash but my body itches on and off and it drives me crazy, I've lost weight, it's going to take like months to adjust to.
>>1850215I care about friendships but people don't care about me and I'm terrible at staying in touch with them. More like it's just hard for me to stay in friendships, not have or make them if the person likes me. The problem is more staying in contact because I go into periods of utter despair and cut myself off from them, which understandably makes them feel neglected, we lose our friendship, rinse and repeat
>>1850177My cluster bee bullshit is trauma induced so I can't really speak on people who are only autists with cluster b like behavior. The problem with comorbidity overlap is that a lot of people who are autists are alienated, abused and maltreated by their parents and their peers, which may lead to inferiority and even a sense of self entitlement, self harm, emotionally volatile behavior, all of which is egged on by both trauma and the 'tism. Basically if you start off with a malfunctioning brain it opens you up to a lot of exploitation and potential for trauma in life when people don't accept you. And if your parents have one genetic mental/neurodevelopmental disorder it's not unlikely your family tree has others bundled with it. My undiagnosed psycho cluster b mother who hates me for being neurodivergent has several neurodivergent markers herself and I'm 99% sure my problems came from her side, barring all my trauma from a young age
No. 1850299
File: 1705100673108.jpg (40.69 KB, 563x718, 729ca38d185738514f75f31cf26fc7…)
My niece (8 y.o) isn't diagnosed but I have a strong suspicion she might have ADHD. I'm teaching her English online (I wasn't trained to teach btw so I'm not well versed in pedagogy) and it's getting harder each time. We study for 45 minutes and it's mostly repetition, mostly through quizzes and crosswords, which she like, but when it comes to reading or doing exercises (anything more or less challenging and requiring attention) she instantly starts complaining that she's tired (even if it's only the beginning of a lesson), she gets distracted and her behavior is simply awful (she makes various sounds and faces, ignores me doing whatever she feels like doing atm, interrupts me, etc). I don't give her a lot of new material, I don't give her anything complicated, I don't expect her to remember everything perfectly and I don't ever scold her for not knowing/remembering something, of course (but I did get annoyed with her behavior and lectured her, and even raised my voice trying to get her attention a few times tbh). How do you discipline a child like that? I will reconstruct our lessons and try to make a deal with her (~20 minutes of focused work and we do quizzes and whatever she likes for the rest of the lesson, if she misbehaves I simply turn off the meeting and rat her out to her parents lol), but will it even work and don't I expect too much from a child this age? I don't want to get too gestapo but I feel like it's my responsibility to teach her how to control herself, too. Do children this age even care if their behavior is annoying and tiresome? I feel like I cared, but I was also guilt tripped and shamed hard and it surely wasn't healthy. I guess I just wanted to vent haha, but I'd be happy to hear from anons who were the same as children or from anyone who had to deal with children who had the same idiosyncrasies.
No. 1851203
>>1850215It is a bit of a stereotype and I definitely am an introvert who needs a lot of alone time, but I do love my friends and family a lot too. For me it's like i do genuinely love them in theory but I'm perfectly fine not seeing them for a year or two without it affecting my love for them at all, while a normie friend thinks it's been "forever ago" if 2 months have passed.
Before deciding it must be an autism thing, consider other factors that can affect it. For example depression is known to make you apathetic. I also used to think I must be lacking some kind of social empathy then I realized my friend didn't treat me very well and we had nothing in common. Since she was bossy she always decided what we did when hanging out and in the end I had to "waste" my time doing things I didn't even like with a person who wasn't nice it drained all my energy. It left me feeling guilty and broken that I didn't like or enjoy being with my friend. Then I found nice friends with the same interests as me and it clicked that you can't just be friends with everyone.
No. 1851227
>>1850299I don't deal with kids much so take this with a grain of salt. Remember that the average max attention capacity of an adult is 20 minutes of "focus" before the brain starts getting tired. (This is for "infodump" type of activities such as JUST listening to a lecture or JUST reading facts you're supposed to take in.) After that you need to reset you brain by focusing on something else, usually what works best is physical activity. It can be very short, like getting up and stretching for a minute. I would assume even shorter time for a kid that young.
I would also not be too lenient on rules and expectations, the kid needs to know you're expecting something good from them and that you believe in them to make them motivated to impress you. Give them compliments on EFFORT rather than results.
>wow you studied so hard and it made you smart so you passed the testis better than just
>wow you passed, you're so smartBecause if they're smart already they don't need to study, and then if they fail they lose confidence and think they're stupid. They need to know effort is what makes them smart and strong.
Idk how well this works, but you could prepare an extra of her favorite activity (like a crossword?) and make it extra fun by having it themed around something fun/silly and adding little cute images to it or something. Tell her at the beginning if she can make it through without complaining the whole lesson she gets a special bonus crossword. The first time you do it she can get it if she complains just once and you correct her (don't tell her that obviously)
So when she starts going "I'm tired" you say something like "oh is that complaining i hear? Remember if you don't complain at all there's a bonus at the end but not if you complain". So she has the chance to correct herself this first time.
Also important: make sure she has eaten before. It makes a HUGE difference in attention.
No. 1853878
Do any of you consider yourself disabled for having autism/ADHD? I feel very mixed on it myself. On one hand, I'll never be able to function completely normally, on the other hand I always feel like if only I just tried harder I would and that saying I'm disabled would somehow be stolen valor from those with 'real' disabilities.
And I don't mean as an identity like
>>1853847 mentions because I completely agree with that post. That said it turns into the issue that only those that do use it as their identity become the activists that shape the language and way the public looks at it.
No. 1853892
File: 1705244515727.png (360.47 KB, 450x500, 1bd70fe433ddbc84f900cc480928d5…)
>>1853878is like death of a million cuts. I drag around the memories of a million akward interactions and it kills my confidene because i know if i let myself go and act loose for even a minute in a social setting i will embarass myself badly and people will be talking about it forever. Any new interaction is a new risk of fucking up and being cringe
No. 1854000
>>1853878Autism/asd is supposedly a developmental disorder, and the effects of it are disabling so on some level yes, I have a disability. Compare it to someone born with just one leg who has gone their entire life with a prosthetic leg, no trouble walking, thinking, driving, forming relationships, working… living normally in nearly every single regard - that's undoubtly still a textbook disabled person, despite them living 99.9% of their lives like a normal person. I do however also feel mixed on it. I would never call myself just "disabled" out loud unless asked, in which case I wouldn't say "I'm disabled" but rather "I have ASD". I do receive support for my disability through work and am legally seen as disabled here.
I just personally don't think any good comes from me speaking on behalf of (implied all) disabled people, it's too broad of a term. It's useful for laws to have a name for vulnerable individuals in need of support, but further than that it doesn't do much. A blind person doesn't need a prosethetic leg. A deaf person doesn't need a personal assistant to take them to the bathroom.
>it turns into the issue that only those that do use it as their identity become the activists that shape the language and way the public looks at it.This is a tricky issue and one that I hate with a passion. I think society needs to realize tiktok and youtube isn't legitimate places to learn about disorders. I think organizations/people in any form of power need to stop treating social media influencers (who are often literally kids) as if they're celebrities and like what they're saying is valuble or has merit when it doesn't. They should even denounce common lies they see. They need to instead focus on what experts and scientists say and center and platform them. I don't know how, maybe schools should start properly teaching anti-activism by default since kids are incredibly vulnerable to it.
As cringe as they are I'm grateful people who call out fakers, make fun of troons, woke SJW, and whatnot exist too. Sometimes it feels maddening that so many people are buying obvious fakers, or that someone has made a career out of exaggerating their disability for views. It helps knowing there are other people who see it for what it is too.
No. 1854775
>>1854046>What proof is there that high functioning ASD is a disability?For a person to get (correctly) diagnosed there has to be what is called "clinical suffering". That suffering IS the disability. If a person "has ASD" but doesn't "clinically suffer" they actually do NOT meet the criteria of getting a diagnosis. And they thus do not actually have ASD.
Look at it like this, a person is claiming to be blind. It's technically true because one eye is gone and the person cannot see from it at all. But the other remaining eye is perfectly fine. So you could argue this half-blind person technically qualifies as a high functioning form of blind - but in reality the effects of the blindness are minor and the person isn't actually what we refer to (diagnose) as blind and can see just fine. It's the same with ASD. The struggling IS what makes it a disorder.
At the end of the day a diagnosis isn't a quirky label to "tell you who you are" or to "know yourself better" like people incorrectly think. It's a piece of medical paper that grants you access to the medical care you need. Doesn't matter how many quirky traits you have in common with the disorder, if you don't need the care, well that's because you aren't disordered - aka do not have ASD.
No. 1854788
>>1854758Wish I could find it again but years ago I remember reading an autism experts explanation for why autism is more obvious in boys (gets diagnosed younger etc) and he said autism is like having an extremely male brain so it compounds the autism traits when a male has it.
Basically being male is like being autistic and being a male with autism is being double autistic. He went there lol
No. 1854799
>>1854783>Like is there really any difference between someone who's HFA and someone who's awkward?Fundamentally yes. An awkward person hasn't been told the social rules yet and therefor makes mistakes and comes off as awkward, but can learn them naturally if he's told about them or spends time around the social rules so he can watch and learn, often subconsciously unless there are super specific cultural norms.
An autist has a developmental disorder that affects the social areas of the brain and just didn't understand and pick up the rules despite being around them like everyone else. He often also doesn't care about the social rules even if he's told about them. He doesn't get why he should be "ashamed" that his shirt is inside out by accident, so he just keeps wearing it that way even if it's pointed out to him. The normal awkward person would be ashamed over his mistake and immediately flip the shirt to be correct. To him "your shirt is inside out" is a social sign telling him "correct your mistake", while to the asd brain it's just a person stating a neutral fact. He'd have to be told that the inside out shirt will make people judge him unless he fixes it, and then he has to personally decide if fixing it is worth it to not get bothered by other people.
To the onlooker both guys accidentally wore the shirt inside out, and both fixed it when someone pointed it out - but their internal motivation was completely different. And this is just one tiny example of it, the way of thinking affects all areas of life.
Over-diagnosing and people selling you any diagnosis for money is shit practice that happens, but it's not "
valid" for a lack of a better term. It doesn't reflect on the real ASD/diagnosis havers. If I call myself blind or get a doctor to sell me a guide dog for blind people I'm still not blind, because I can see just fine.
No. 1854824
File: 1705276615466.jpeg (109.75 KB, 1200x1126, 624.jpeg)
>in the process of getting the diagnosis for add
>therapists thinks i also have ocd
No. 1855101
>>1840828Yes. 100% yes. Right now I’m trying really hard to take a shower every night. Doing the dishes or cleaning can also be a challenge.
I find it helpful to mark my progress by trackers. I literally have a tracker for showering lol. So, yeah, same as
>>1841540 nonnie. And I also use the music to make me do something when I don’t want to. For example, if it’s tome to do the dishes and I don’t want to, I just sort of make a pact with myself: ok, I will do the stuff I don’t like but I will try make it better with music.
No. 1855315
>>1854812>But HFA people can mask their social difficulties.Everyone can't mask. Girls are famously better at it than boys. Masking is also frankly a tumblr/tiktok faker thing more than a genuine thing ASD people deal with. If an ASD person masked so well the ASD is 100% undetectable at all times… they simply do not actually have ASD. It's that simple.
And what do you think masking actually is? It was coined to explain how some ASD girls wanted to fit in but couldn't, so they watched and copied the most popular girls around them without knowing why the other girls did the things they did. What happens is the ASD girl get "obsessed" with those things and overdo it. The popular girls wear makeup and likes pink? Well now every single item ASD girl owns is pink and she has watched every single makeup tutorial on youtube and took every tip literally and has a full face of insta thot makeup every single day. Sometimes they literally copy/skinwalk someone they want to be like, not understanding that's actually creepy. Masking is copying something without understanding it, and it typically shows. It's not just "turning on my normal human act so people can't tell I'm a retard" it takes a lot of active hard work. But most ASD girls don't even do that, most simply don't even care about being popular. Iirc famous autism reseracher Tony Attwood once said it's rare to find ASD women who have a hairstyle that's more complicated than "brush and go".
>Also not believing in social norms/rules is not disordered thinking,It's not "not believing", it's not understanding. Huge difference. When a small child gets up and dances and sings at a funeral because sitting still was too boring that's not because they "don't believe in social norms", it's because they don't understand it's inappropriate and they lack the brain capacity to understand it. Likewise an underdeveloped adult brain will still lack that skill simply because it never developed fully.
No. 1855323
>>1854848>Someone with ASPD for example will also see it that way and not care for social norms. Are they autistic now too or related to autistics in some way? This is stupid.Fire is warm, your piss is also warm. Therefor your wet piss is the exact same thing as fire, becuase there can only exist one single warm thing. At the very least they MUST be related.
That is literally your "logic".
No. 1855335
>>1855118I don't trust drugs at all, especially sine they're likely only tested on males because no one gives a shit about females. They'll just go "hmm turns out it actually rots your uterus because it fucks up estrogen levels in females so now all women on it are irreversibly psychotic and harmed oopsie" in like 30 years.
>It's like, if it feels good or it helps me, I'll wring it dry. I'll listen to the song 100000 times. I'll fantasize the same thing over and over.I do this but I see it as a trait I love. I still love the same song just as much after having it on repeat for 2 months, I love my fantasies and changing just one thing about the scene every time to see what would happen. I enjoy it so why would it bother me? At the same time I strictly avoid things I know would get me stuck in a negative loop - such as any drug. It makes people call me boring because I refuse to ever drink or do "harmless" drugs but I know myself and do not trust them at all. I also avoid certain games that I know I would enjoy, because I also know the second I touch it I will neglect everything else and sink 1000h into it that I don't have. It's not going to be worth it even if I enjoyed the game.
The fact that you are aware that you're doing it is a good thing, it means you can work on stopping it at times it bothers you. You may need actual rehab to sort it out if it's a physical addiction though. The brain creates pathways, the less you entertain one way and choose another the easier it will become to follow the new one and avoid the old one, even if it seems impossible at first.
No. 1855526
File: 1705329625860.jpg (23.66 KB, 240x240, autismcathat.JPG)
I hate how autism affects my social life. I’ve always been socially retarded but for a while now I’ve been working on being more extroverted and normal, but instead whenever I talk to new people I just end up rambling about some gibberish, or I just say some variant of “yeah haha” or “thank you.” The only way I can stay engaged in a conversation with a stranger is if someone’s talking to me about my special interest and the only people who seem to care are nerdy scrotes who will try to one up me with their “fun facts.” That’s what happens when you have a special interest on superhero shows kek. Most people come up to me because they “think I look nice” but they usually just leave me alone 5 sentences in which sucks.
No. 1856353
>>1855315nta, you explained it very well. i assumed the so-called maskers maybe lacked self-awareness when they said they were 'good' at it, turns out most aren't ASD. it's synonymous with 'failed attempts at getting the other girls to like you', it's not this successful strategy you can just 'turn off' at will. aside from what you describe, it's really just an accumulation of pavlovian reflexes. eg. giggling even if the context doesn't call for it because giggling=relaxed and at ease
>>1854329>us ADHD-havers are indistinguishable from normal people most of the timebecause many of you are just that, normal. 'taking pills and becoming normal' isn't indicative of anything, literally anyone who takes stimulants becomes more productive and focused.
>>1850177i believe a huge portion of these 'autists' are cluster B who latch onto the label to fill the void in their ego or make their interpersonal hell pitiful and endearing instead of concerning. virtually every blatantly BPD woman i know had a 'i'm totes autistic guys!' phase. that and under-socialized men who keep using it as an excuse to be shitty, and who would probably be dx'ed as cluster B if they were female
No. 1856829
File: 1705414192773.png (1.84 MB, 966x999, E91VoT6VkAAIDea.png)
i cannot stop myself from having meltdowns even when i know it will make the situation worse and/or make people even more annoyed and angry with me. i feel like i have such an insane build of emotions that happens so fast that i cannot do anything but scream and cry
No. 1857027
>>1856829What specifically
triggers your meltdowns? Have you tried CBT?
No. 1857100
>>1857027having my routine changed unexpectedly or drastically, or being around people that
trigger bad emotions (don't want to get into too much detail but family members I've had conflict in the past are almost constantly coming in and out of my house, although I'm hopefully moving out in the later part of this year)
I had both these things happen at the same time this morning and just felt insane.
I'm actually starting cbt counseling in a few weeks so I hope it can help me work on skills to do with dealing with this stuff
No. 1857181
>>1857039Ayrt, It’s not always the case and I know some people just love sperging but a lot of male fans I’ve talked to get somewhat defensive. I’m guilty of the “where is this person at their fangirling phase”
I think all of us autists are lol. you’ve mentioned but I’ve never been too awful at tone so for me at least it becomes obvious when someone’s giving it in an autistic sperg way or whatnot.
No. 1858572
>>1857100I'm only bad with change when I'm already distressed about something so I can't fully relate, but people you have an issue with coming into your space does sound stressful.
I think both moving and cbt will be good for you, add in a dash of mindfulness too.
Don't write it here but try writing down exactly what
triggers you in a private google, word doc, private tumblr blog idk anywhere that you can keep private that no one else will find. Not general statments but actual causes like "uncle Bob yelled at me once so I don't like him, when he comes in to my space I feel unsafe and can't relax". Then from there you can expand on it like "becuase I fear he will yell at me again, and make me feel insignificant and insulted again". Keep going further until you land on core realizations like "i let what he said upset me because i'm insecure about the things he yelled at me for, and he's family so i care about his opinion and approval". That in itself can even make you realize "actually, we are not close and i don't like uncle Bob so his opinion doesn't matter to me. Therefor I shouldn't let his comments about X upset me".
It will take a lot of work of course, but once you work through every
trigger far enough to find a logical way to "disprove" it you can find refuge in it. So next time uncle Bob says something you remember "I don't actually care about his approval, so so his opinion is irrelevant to me and getting upset is a waste of my time and energy so I will actively choose to not care". Literally think the words in your head, tell yourself you choose not to get upset this time. Most likely you'll get upset/meltdown the first few times and have to force yourself to go through this new pathway of thinking. So your brain will have to do it many times to override your old thinking pathways, but once you do they'll be stronger than the urge to get mad and upset.
Meltdowns happen at a feeling of loss of control, but you do still have the ability to freely think so you do still have some control. And thinking is all we have, so that's a whole lot of control!
No. 1859299
>>1851227Anon, thanks for your response!
>Give them compliments on EFFORT rather than results.That's a really good idea, I wouldn't think of it myself tbh. I've noticed she's reluctant to do anything where she's not instantly great (like reading for example), so yeah, I'll put an emphasis on the efforts and will find a way to record her progress in the things she's struggling with.
I've already made some changes and it was a bit better today, will see how it goes.
No. 1861030
>>1859299>I've noticed she's reluctant to do anything where she's not instantly greatayrt then make sure to directly explain things like "failing is ok, and we often learn more from it" and that no one starts out great at something. If they were great already, they wouldn't need to practice or do it at all. It's important to hear that failing IS ok.
Also use examples of progress. Like "I couldn't do x when I started, but I practice a little bit every week and now I can do it! I can tell you're better at Y thing since we started too". Butterflies are a great example since they're pretty and girls tend to like them. You start as a tiny caterpillar, and then through working hard you can become a butterfly of reading. If you tell her directly she could be like a butterfly/fairy with butterfly wings that can make it seem more fun and whimsical.
Point out what she did well or tried hard at. We know this motivates people to get even better because it makes them feel good to get praised. You can also fake this motivation effect by saying things like "wow your reading was better today! I think you're getting good at reading fast/clearly/not stumble/stable/whatever/more energy" so hopefully she'll feel a bit proud of it and will want to read more to improve that skill. You can lie about it, or praise it even if it's only like a 1% improvement lol as long as she gets motivated it's all good. Sneak in something like "wow have you been secretly practising reading? you're even better than last time" to put the idea of "secret practice gives me praise" in her head too.
No. 1861053
>>1860232using the example in
>>1858572 don't forget to also consider uncle Bob's side of why he yelled at you. If your roles were reversed, would you yell at uncle Bob? Why/why not? Does he yell at everyone or just you? Does he dislike you, or could it come from a place of concern and he's frustrated to not see you improve but doesn't know how to express it in a healthy way? Does he have a rough life, is he cranky because he just came from work and is tired and hungry?
It's often hard for ASD people to consider/see the viewpoint of others so practising it in private is always a good idea. Try to stay neutral to the situation, think of people as characters in a book you're analyzing.
Like imagine you worked hard at a job you don't even like that much and your boss is a jackass. You're tired and hungry because you haven't had dinner yet. You get off work and visit family, your nephew who sleeps in until 12 every day and stays home seemingly playing video games and watching netflix every day. He has a plush dog from childhood he still adores, you just learned about furries and am now worried he might be or become one. He hasn't even applied for a job this month either. He doesn't seem to care at all to even try to get a job because it's "too hard" for him, while you and his parents have to slave away at your hard jobs. You're worried he'll never get a real job, own his own flat, get a healthy relationship etc while his parents have to work a boring job to support him even though he never even says "thank you" to them for it. You see your sister, his mom, struggle with it too and she looks lost. You even know you shouldn't, but would you understand the feeling of wanting to snap and yell at him a bit when he complains how hard HIS life is?
Even if none of it applies to your real life, just going through the motion of considering other people's possible points of view can be very helpful and gain you some perspective. Maybe you know real uncle Bob just is an asshole to everyone, but what if he wasn't - what could lead a person to yell at someone? When would it be justified and when should they apologize for the outburst?
No. 1861261
>>1861188Making lists personally helps me. When I had to close down places I worked at that required like a two hour cleaning routine. I wrote out each step simply so I could remember what and the order. Kept it in a notebook with my work stuff.
So it was like:
>pull out chair >mop floors (front, back, and hall) >take out trash (four cans) >lock back door Etc.
The reason to specify some things like number of doors or trash cans is because then you can count and make sure you’ve hit all of them, but not to add too much detail or too many words so you don’t activate executive dysfunction struggles and overwhelm.
For tasks like locking doors that I might forget and we’re very important I would take a picture so once I was done I could verify I had a picture time stamped of me doing each lock.
What helps him might depend on what type of struggle he’s having and how he processes and copes with it.
No. 1863706
>>1862342I hope the same happens to me in a few years. Don't like this guy go
nonnie. I'm so happy for you!
No. 1865569
>>1864350>With all due respect you won't ever get popular enough for it to matter. Nta but that's not true. All it takes is one freak amongst a (figurative) handful of viewers. Female streamers with sub 100 viewers deal with nasty moids too. Never mind the fact that people out your own personal circles can be culprits for this too.
Everyone who's digital image has been abused thought "it won't happen to me"
No. 1865652
>>1865562You already KNOW you're capable of talking normally because you do it to guys you aren't attracted to. You just have to train yourself to be able to do it around attractive guys, and for the record this is an age old issue that normies have so you're not alone and it's not just an autism thing.
>I have emptiness in my head just like when my therapist asks me to describe my emotionsI can relate to that lol whenever I got asked bya therapist about my emotions my head was empty and I had 0 emotions. I think the stress of the situation made me hyperfocus on everything BUT myself so I couldn't feel anything. Thinking about it, that's a great skill for surviving in the wild because if a threat appears and you're scared and feel weak you're done for, but my brain reacts by shutting those emotions down so I can still operate "emotionless" and survive. Pretty neat, just doesn't help in a therapist setting at all!
You can train yourself out of it though, it's really just about being nervous. Might help to be in a group setting, with a person you can talk to normally and one you can't. That way you can get the conversation going with the one you can talk to, and the other person can join in and you'll find yourself talking normally to that person too eventually.
No. 1865739
>>1865652Believe me, I tried many times to be more out going with him and it was always cringe, I can't be spontaneous, I always lrepare what to say to him in my head and then fail at the execution anyway. He scares me in a way. Sometimes I just want to get this over with and just openly say how I feel about him. Do you think it may look desperate? The worst thing is I sometimes can't tell what he thinks about me. Is he scared of me because at this point he doesn't know how to talk to me despite liking me, or he doesn't care, or if he even likes me etc. He invited me and two other coworkers on trips he was organizing so I was thinking well he must at least liked me enough for wanting to spend an entire day in my company, and more than once. His gf never went with us, apparently she wasn't interested in that stuff. After he and his gf broke up, he was trying to talk even more to me. But my response was always the same, just one word kek. He's still kind and always offers me a ride when we have the same shift, so every second week. And still plans trips with me and one other guy. Anyway, for turbo autists I feel like the best way is just to be direct and see how the person reacts. But then again, we are still coworkers and if it will end up awkward I don't want it affect our work. God I just don't want to look like a desperate weirdo. Am I wrong?
No. 1866151
>>1866085I think letting degenerate men win by living in fear of them and letting them dictate what you do or don't do on your own free time before/without them even knowing you exist is really sad. I'm sure they'd be happy to know women are discouraging each other from expressing themselves and making connections because of their mere existence though. They could be broke losers stuck in a parents basement on the other side off the world with no ability to ever physically even see you and they're still able to make women fear them enough to stay silent.
The suggestions have been to NOT have their face visible and with an altered voice anyway so "not plastering their face" was already what was suggested. Having a
victim mentality without even being a
victim is unproductive and unhealthy, as we've seen with countless groups online by now.
No. 1866155
>>1865739>Believe me, I tried many times to be more out going with him and it was always cringe, I can't be spontaneous, I always lrepare what to say to him in my head and then fail at the execution anyway.I do believe you when you've said you tried, but you're being too negative and act as if there's no hope for you when there is. Why start with the hardest person to talk to? Work your way up by talking to people you're just a tiny bit uncomfortable with first.
>Sometimes I just want to get this over with and just openly say how I feel about him. Do you think it may look desperate? Yes, normies do not like to be confronted with strong feelings out of nowhere.
No. 1866448
File: 1706119545902.jpg (115.9 KB, 1136x1334, E3faZeSXIAEtM8y.jpg)
Worst thing about being 'tistic is this specific special balance of making assumptions and asking questions.
NTs will scold you for reading between the lines improperly and jumping to a false conclusion (even though this is a skill they beg us to have because we ask too many 'obvious' question) but sometimes, seemingly equally, they will scold you for asking said direct question.
Say your partner is cooking. You walk into the kitchen and say, "That looks good, I can't wait to eat!"
There is a universe where this person can get upset, tell you they weren't cooking for two, and that you shouldn't assume they're doing something for you.
There is another universe where you ask, "That looks good, is there enough for me?" and they get upset that you are even asking the question, that of course there is enough for you, and that the question inherently puts a strain on the relationship.
No. 1866613
File: 1706130367791.jpg (27.13 KB, 375x365, 1704579171721.jpg)
>>1866448I can really relate to this nona. I usually explain such misunderstandings with something along the lines of "Oh I'm sorry, I thought you meant [related to the matter]" but I hate having to do it.
>>1866173This is my biggest stim, it happens when I'm daydreaming at the same time. I hate it, I've done it for years and I've hurt myself because of it but I can't stop because I have to have music on and I can't stay still for very long..
No. 1866668
>>1866448I don't know if this is a cultural thing but whenever I do this in my eurofag country no one cares, at most it's just written off as "oops got it wrong how silly haha". But I also have a lot of friends online who I've met up with irl (usually at shared interest events) and I've noticed American men specifically are SO sensitive and easily aggravated. At first I thought it was just one guy, but it kept happening and it was always the american guy. If I even jokingly insinuated they're in any way "wrong" (such as not cooking for both people in the example) they'd get deeply hurt and start an argument about how hurtful it was to them. Of course being an autist I'd get some things wrong and they immediately got visibly upset and started sulking every time. It was so ridiculous to me that they'd start a fight over it that it wasn't even upsetting, and I'm an oversensitive aspie who can't even pick the mean dialogue option in a game kek for me to not care it really had to be 100% unwarranted.
The only person I've met around here who's ever acted like that was a super woke autist male neet who openly rejected our own country and culture, only ever spoke in english, and almost exclusively hung out with americans online and had done so for at least a decade. So I can't help but wonder if there's something about american culture that turns people that way.
No. 1866798
>>1866155Anon I tried for a year. I was only able to talk to him more during our trips, if for example we were at a museum and I had some knowledge about certain topic I was talking to him normally and then we were able to have fairly normal exchange. But in the work setting, my mind is so stressed just because of spending 8 hours there and having to focus on work, I just can't talk to him, because I actually care about him and his opinion, unlike with other coworkers. My mind can't focus on two things. I had to be focused on barely surviving and masking at work. That's why I'm sure that in a private setting I would be totally different with him, and I wish I just had the chance. Today when he came to pick me up for work, I asked him something like "did you ever want to say something but you were too afraid of making a fool of yourself and you didn't say the thing?" He joked that he constantly makes a fool of himself and then asked "why?" and said "Tell me" but I didn't. He was playfully coming back to my question on every break, so 3 times but I refused to tell him. During our last break he sat next to me and there was awkward silence. I suddenly asked him about something totally unrelated (about an apartment for rent he was looking for), he answered me and then said "Is that what you wanted to ask me?" and smiled. I said "No" and I basically ran away to the bathroom because I couldn't take it anymore. I just can't do this kek. I'm afraid I'm going to break before the weekend. In 7 days I'm leaving for 2 weeks for vacation and I feel like I have to tell him before that. Otherwise I'm going to punch walls for 2 weeks.
Also, do you think he may have any idea about what I meant or is he totally oblivious? I don't know what's more scary
No. 1867242
>>1866798You're talking and interacting so much more than I expected, I don't know why you're even worrying. And now you're saying in a private setting it is/would be fine? Girl lmao you acted like you were basically mute in your first post.
Also sounds like he's flirting with you, or at least teasing you and knows you like him. You made it obvious you want to tell him something that is embarrassing so you don't want to, which in 99% cases is just having a crush on the person. You'll be fine.
No. 1870996
>>1870674Obviously we can't diagnose you and I'm an autist without ADHD, but these are my two cents. Just for the record I've known several people with adhd. Just like you said everyone's attention spans are bad now. If you've spent time conditioning your brain to watch tiktok for hours and to only react to immediate stimulation then of course that's the one thing it's gonna want to do all day. Almost everyone has this problem now - so it's not necessarily a sign of adhd. You can train yourself to stop, but it does involve deleting those short-term distractions for a while.
How is your life in general? You say you sleep badly, which makes you tired, and if you're tired - of course you won't be able to focus on anything. People say different people have different day/night schedules but I swear to god I've NEVER seen a single healthy functioning person who stays up all night and sleeps during the day. I've seen people who claim they are night owls and it's how they function best (I used to be one of these people kek)… but they're all obese or anorexic, with at least 1 disorder and they struggle in so many areas of life. So I don't think it's true, even normies who work night shifts get obese and disoriented because they weren't really meant to live that way. Sleep at night or be fucked up - the choice is yours.
I also have a brain that won't shut up at night, and I find that doing the literal opposite of what all the sleep experts recommend is exacly what works. If I'm in a quiet dark room my mind gets bored and starts entertaining itself by thinking, it's the opposite of relaxing. However if I put on a tv show, or play a game, my mind has something to focus on so my brain relaxes and it allows me to quickly fall asleep. One way to look at it is that complete silence doesn't exist in nature, so those are not normal sleeping conditions for us. You could try putting on background noises of nature (like forest sounds, or rain, or thunder) to see if it helps.
Daydreaming is super easy to do while walking, you can even put on music if you want. Try incorporating a walk into your daydreaming and see how it goes. At least then you get some light exercise and fresh air, but you still get to daydream.
Back to how your life is though. Do you have goals or aspirations? If you've got nothing, that would make it super hard to focus on anything. It's incredibly boring and hard to think of "something to do" when I'm bored. Everything IS boring. Why would I want to watch this or that, I keep switching tabs, scrolling social media. I'm not lazy. But I get lazy when I'm bored, because why would I do something boring? So ask yourself if you're tired, or lazy, or bored. If you're tired, rest! If you're bored, you gotta work on finding something you can work on or towards long term. Do you ahve adhd? No idea, maybe or maybe not. I do however see plenty of ways you could improve your life quality either way.
No. 1871031
>>1870674I think you should ask a professional instead of us but you may or may not have it, it's really hard to say. If you think it'll improve your life I think you should go and ask a doctor. I don't think a bad attention span and daydreaming is enough to get a diagnosis nowadays, as sad as that may sound. ADHD manifests in so many different ways, for example lack of emotional regulation or weird habits/mannerisms/coping methods, chattiness, lack of a social filter, some people are more prone to substance abuse and some are not, etc. It's often comorbid with anxiety, panic disorder and such but doesn't have to be, and as with everything else it's really hard to diagnose in women.
For these reasons I don't think you should self-diagnose or ask anyone but a professional for their opinion. Worst case scenario you won't have it but will get help for your issues anyway.
No. 1872329
>>1872080Sorry you had to deal with that
nonnie. Don't even bother going back; just find a new therapist. I think bedside manner is really important for healthcare professionals, if someone has shit bedside manner it really impacts the quality of the care you'll receive. No good therapist goes on a huge rant the first time you meet them and insinuates that you're faking something that's been previously diagnosed, it just comes off as really spiteful. The other anons itt going "good I'm happy she insulted you because it sticks it to the self-diagnosed!" sound really dumb.
No. 1872734
>>1872131If she keeps fighting you about it then yeah drop her and find another therapist. Although if there was any possibility you're not an autist that would be super great news. While it's important to feel comfortable with a therapist remember that affirmation is NOT therapy and they are supposed to question you and make you think.
>I've had family members in the past tell me that my meltdowns and sensory problems were all in my headThis is partly true, what I don't get is that people are rude or dismissive about it. I mean duh of course meltdowns happens when you're mentally stressed aka it's in your head? That's the whole issue!
No. 1872953
>>1872329Thanks for the thoughtful responses. It's really hard to find a therapist in my area but I will keep looking. Now that I've thought about it more I agree that it's pretty disrespectful to immediately doubt someone's actual paper diagnosis to their face. I don't really try to "mask" autism like some people say they do either. I've been in occupational therapy before and nobody there ever had that reaction to my diagnosis.
>>1872734I meant that my family thought I was purposefully making up having bad reactions to things to get my way since they don't fully believe in mental health issues. Also of course therapy isn't just asspats and validation but if you go to the therapist for a problem and they immediately start doubting that you even have the issue when you have a paper trail of diagnosis and treatment it's fucking weird. Also I wish I could wake up and not be a sperg but that's not going to happen kek
No. 1873610
>>1873544This always happened to me as a kid too, mostly I learned to freeze and stay in place because anytime I’d try to participate in things I’d break something or hurt someone. It was a nightmare and never intentional I was just an uncoordinated weirdo. If I tried acting out in order not to have to participate it just alienated me further from everyone and made the visit worse.
You could bring it up with your therapist. The fact you suggested it makes it sound like it might be worthwhile if just to vent to someone who can talk back real time.
No. 1874014
>>1873943>Maybe you weren't allowed to defend yourself either, because your parents or other significant others were too sensitive and afraid of conflict or aggression (even healthy kind) themselvesIronically, my mother is known for defending herself (or her family) and pretty much won't stay shut down like me, my father is known for defending himself too but not as much as my mom. Her shitty childhood made her that way so I don't blame her, I wish I mas more like my mom.
I don't know what happened with me though kek
No. 1874134
>>1873943>I think adults do us great disservice when they try to read our minds and insist on their perception of our behaviorsI have 2 thoughts on this. Firstly this didn't happen to me much as a child, but A LOT as an adult. It's nearly always from empathic people who are trying to help. I think neurotypicals are less good at reading others than they think (or maybe they just can't read spergs in particular) because I can't even count how many times people have insisted they're helping me by asking what I think and they insist "I can tell something is on your mind and you want to say something" when I literally had no thoughts in my head, I had zero opinions and didn't care at all. I guess I just look attentive and engaged when I listen even when I'm not lol
Second thought is that parents are supposed to guide and help their kids and I'm not convinced they just do it simply because they think you're shy and actually secretly want to do it. Rather I think a lot of the time they know you're kinda antisocial and they want to help you get over it, so they force you to do social things. They don't want you to be an antisocial friendless loser who can't do anything for themselves and only depend on their mommy forever. Of course they can't frame it as "oh yes she totally hates your kids, but I think it will be good for her so can you make them play with her anyway?". Not your parents fault the other kids were then dumb as fuck and just ignored you lol
And I think if you think about it, if you had only ever gotten your way and got to sit alone without those awkward interactions you would have been worse off. There were so many boring as fuck things I was forced to do as a kid that I hated, that I as an adult realized gave me very valuable experiences even if I couldn't appreciate it at all at the time.
No. 1874243
>>1874145>is it controversial that i don't care if hans aspergers was a nazi or not? how many other medical conditions are named after squeaky-clean people with no single controversial opinion whatsoever?It's controversial but I understand not caring for the sake of ease of use because Asperger's is an established term. The difference here is Asperger sent children with said condition to their death, naming it after him is going to make people uncomfortable. I was diagnosed with Level 1 Autism myself, and I believe having Asperger's or a similar label differentiating it from autism with intellectual disability would be helpful.
I don't really understand the rest of your post, when I mentioned the book it was with this part of your post in mind. We do know, Nazis documented a lot.
>As retarded as it sounds it got me thinking about the "asperger was a nazi" stuff again, and if we truly know he ever aligned with nazis since from what I rememeber every doctor and scientist in nazi germany had to align themselves with the nazis or they were out of a job (and possibly killed). We don't know what they really thought. No. 1874508
>>1872953>hard to find a therapist in my areaI hope I'm not recommending something you already looked into, but when I was looking around for therapists in 2021 I was surprised by the amount of clinics that offered Zoom sessions. If you're not finding good candidates in your area, maybe you could try emailing a few clinicians in adjacent areas to see if they offer sessions from a distance? In my experience half of the clinics I inquired about this with said they'd be open to it.
>Nobody there ever had that reaction to my diagnosis.Yeah this therapist seems weird as fuck to be honest and she probably has people-problems of her own to figure out.
>I wish I could wake up and not be a sperg.No
nonnie don't say that, we all are born different and we're all born perfectly too. The human form is limitless in its variations and still human beings remain the paragon of animals. Autism is challenging at times and I felt the same way you did for a long time, sometimes I still do, but I really truly believe in the triumph of the human spirit over any and all material challenges. Autism can be frustrating but I've learned to accept the frustrating parts of myself alongside the pleasing parts. I hope in time your struggles become easier for you to deal with like mine did, even if it seems hopeless at times just remember that there's no pit so deep that our indomitable self-love is not deeper still.
No. 1877282
I find masking harder with age. Maybe I would break ealier but I only started working at 26, before that I was a neet for 3 years. I'm 28 and I just can't do it anymore. Before that I was afraid of doing things in front of people and being perceived, now I find myself caring less and less. I was only doing repetitive movements alone at home, or at least that's what I'm aware of, and I was obsessed with controlling my body in public, that's why I was so stiff all the time and it was hard for me to walk without feeling like I was about to collapse at any moment, now I just do stuff like kicking table legs, rocking back and forth, humming and finger flicking in public. I do it when I'm frustrated or when I'm thinking about something. I'm so annoyed by people around me, the noise and movement they create. My aunt invited me for christmas and I just couldn't stand being around so many people and I wasn't talking at all and I started kicking the table, she was annoyed with my behavior so I left ealier and went to sleep in the guest room. I just say what I think and only later I think whether it might offend someone or not. My cousin has two french bulldogs and I thought they were disgusting because they smelled bad, choked on their own spit, farted, couldn't breathe, jumped on me and bruised me with their long claws etc. I openly said I thought they were disgusting abominations of nature and that the entire house smelled like shit, which was true, but my behavior was perceived as rude. I see people are less patient with me sometimes. Once I trained myself to keep forced eye contact, now I'm losing this ability and I look everywhere except at the person who talks to me. I was invited for a training at work, we were all sitting at a big table and instead of writing notes I started drawing anime girls in my notebook and my manager noticed that. Someone asked me a question and I didn't answer, just stared blankly. I couldn't remember a thing from that talk because I couldn't force myself to pay attention. I'm scared I will end up as a neet soon too, not because they will fire me - they still need people like me in my department because I can do almost everything and it takes time to train one person, I also just got a permanent contract 2 months ago - I'm afraid I will rather fire myself because I just can't do it anymore, I'm so tired from being around people for 8 hours a day. After work I have no energy to take a shower or prepare food, not to mention any hobbies. I sleep throughout every weekend because I'm so tired. I also called my male coworker an incel because he was hitting on me despite me declining him 2 times and I called my ex-bully female coworker a "toxic narcissist" to her face. Well, nobody likes her anymore and basically nobody talks to her, but only I was bold enough to tell her why that is. It's freeing in a way but I know it's because I'm losing the ability to control myself. And because of that exhaustion I find it harder to function
No. 1877982
>>1877806same here,
nonnie. i just don't know how to keep the conversation going without bringing in me me me every time. i know this isn't coming from a place of narcissism, but because i want the person to feel that i can relate to what they are sharing? (and i'm literally doing this right now kek)
as far as people getting offended, i started just straight up saying that i know i do this and it's how i empathize. i also tell people they are welcome to share anything they like even if i don't ask. if they can't accept it, they don't deserve to be in your circle, nonna. we can learn every trick in the book, but our brains are wired different for a reason, and having to be hypercautious in an unpredictable and dynamic setting (i.e. conversation) 100% of the time just to please some normie is exhausting as fuck.
No. 1878066
>>1878048I think I know what you mean
nonnie, I think it’s related to savant syndrome
I read an interesting article recently that suggested there might be a serotonin imbalance between the right and left side of autistic brains. It said that if there was an deficiency in the left brain (usually the dominant hemisphere) then the right brain might compensate by being over-active leading to savant syndrome. This would explain why savants excel in the arts, music and mathematics while struggling so much with managing ordinary life. Because of this imbalance it can be difficult for savants to use their skills to the fullest potential.
I think that might be the situation in my brain, it would explain a lot. I don’t know if it’s helpful to you or not. I think it’s a common problem for savants, that we have these highly specialized skills we could achieve a lot with, but its difficult because of the problems our autism causes us. I wondered if that’s what you mean by feeling you could be brilliant?
No. 1878074
>>1878066Thanks for the response
Nonnie. I never thought about this in "savant" way. I just had this feeling like "huh, I seem to be capable of understanding physics more easily than my classmates", but at the same time I absolutely cannot say I am talented in this field. However I feel that if I got diagnosed earlier (got diagnosed as a young adult) and got proper care from my environment, then it might be possible for me to pursue physics in a professional way. Sorry if this sounds unclear, English is not my first language.
I feel like I could be one of these autistics talented in a specific field. But due to the way my life has been I am a useless autistic struggling with everyday life.
No. 1878312
>>1878094People are addicted to online social media. I know some people really don't take this seriously, but a lot of people can barely function without. A little girl recently was shot and killed by her neighbor who was drunk and knocking on her door for over an while. Instead of calling the police, she went on tik tok and made a post about it.
This is not normal behavior at all.
No. 1878319
File: 1707152480208.png (308.37 KB, 850x1110, Pencil-grip-descriptors-and-th…)
>>1878285Yes. It is one of my insecurities. The school I went to had a rule for the upper grades that students could only write in cursive. None of my teachers were able to decipher my writing, so on spelling tests, so I was allowed to print my answers. I had no idea that this was a trait of autism/poor motor skills until I was diagnosed. The pen rests on my ring finger, while my middle finger is on top, and my index finger is on the right. My thumb rests on my index finger. I'd say I am closest to lateral tripod.
No. 1878326
File: 1707152942687.jpg (98.97 KB, 800x1034, 1000009592.jpg)
>>1878285My handwriting is so shit that throughout all of my life I've been told to grab calligraphy books to practice, they do help but it's kind of sad how my handwriting progressively gets worse as I stop using the books.
The worst part is that I need to get back to it because due to a series of unfortunate events, I have to be a teacher and teach kids shit by writing on whiteboards and shit.
So I need to find a way to improve my handwriting skills or find a way to die quick.
No. 1878335
>>1877806>>1877980You can relate to someone's issues without bringing up yourself. It sounds like comparison and it's understandable why they'd be pissed. Read some books about it, because it's a hard habit to break.
>>1877980It's not. Makes you look extremely narcissistic. Like your problems matter more
No. 1878354
>>1878323Yep, that happens to me too. I journal and I need to stop writing often because my hand hurts. I had no idea I was writing incorrectly until it was pointed out to me. I remember some kids having those grippy rubber things that slid on a pencil to practice a proper grip, but I never was told I needed that. I just thought I had shitty handwriting.
>>1878346I am not sure, I think it falls under having poor motor skills. I know you can train to have a better grip, but I think I'm too old and it would be more difficult versus a child.
No. 1878525
File: 1707168921228.jpg (90.56 KB, 564x746, 3e73c699929b6b49a477e74d2e9c83…)
>>1878319Hah, I see mine - "index finger joint in hyperextended position", and a pen also rests on my ring finger. The nail there even became permanently slightly tilted left and the skin on this finger is a bit thickened. When I wrote or drew a lot, the ring finger would kinda hurt (an the texture of pen/pencil/etc would get imprinted on it) and my index finger would get stuck haha. People were always weirded out by the way I held a pen, but I couldn't imagine how someone could do it differently. My handwriting was ok though and I could draw really good for my age, but I remember having hard time doing this shit in picrel for some reason, how do you call it in English btw? When I had to do it I wanted to KILL. My handwriting got really chaotic with time though, I can't be bothered with writing out letters fully, you just have to guess which word it resembles the most hehe
No. 1878807
>>1878525>How do you call it in English?The picture you uploaded is of cursive script. In English you could say "writing in cursive" or less frequently "writing in script." "Cursive" refer to writing in that sort of script style where all the letters flow together and you write without lifting your pen off the paper.
>>1878319For me it's extended wrist, hyperextended index finger, and the lateral tripod. I don't know how anyone could write with the "high index" style, it seems kind of scary.
No. 1879525
>>1879497>Did you tell your friend that it makes you uncomfortable?i’ve told her that i’ve felt uncomfortable with some people she’s forced me to hang around. she’s ignored me or called me dramatic when i’ve told her this
>Is the friend really aware of them calling you all that stuff?she was there with me when i was called those names and just ignored it. sometimes, when others say negative things about my behaviors she agrees.
No. 1880272
>>1879525Your friend sounds like a shitty friend tbh. But with that said nobody is perfect so just from this little information I can't say that you're 100% definitely in the right either, for example maybe you did actually do a negative thing and they rightfully called it out. I don't know. I used to be told by my friends that I was "being negative all the time" and it made me upset because I was only ever negative about one single thing - myself. So I didn't think it was fair at all of them to say it was "all the time" when I really just had bad confidence but was nice and positive to everyone else. But someone talking down on themselves all the time gets really annoying for others, so they weren't wrong to call me out.
There are (at least) 3 ways to go about it. One is to decide that it doesn't bother you if people call you retarded or bad things, you're confident that if you just hang out with them and treat them with kindness they'll change their minds. You take their negative comments as feedback and respond with "sorry, I didn't realize it bothered other people when I do that but now that I know I will try to stop".
Second option is to decide that what they're doing is too hurtful and you do not want to associate with them anymore. You tell your friend directly that her hanging out with people who call you retarded is hurtful and so is her dismissal of your feelings. The friend will either apologize, or make excuses and say that you're being dramatic over nothing. If she does the latter you know to break it off as she doesn't care about your feelings.
Third option is to stay silent and let things keep going the way they are. If you're unhappy, you'll stay unhappy. If you're a bit annoyed sometimes but it works out fine most of the time it might be worth just sucking it up. Either option you choose, do not give up on making friends and keep trying to make new ones nona.
No. 1880730
>>1880726I think ADHDers shouldn't ever be allowed to have their own thread, not because it doesn't makes sense, but because I'm an self-centered autist and can't empathize kek
Really though, you think going to the thread full of spergs just to insult them is going to make you look in any way good or justified?
No. 1881241
>>1881099This. ADD has had such an impact on my social skills in particular that at times I've been almost convinced that I must be autistic as well. Especially because no one ever talks about that part of it, or many other aspects that in my opinion are
much more debilitating and obstructive than just being fidgety.
No. 1883032
>>1881099It's difficult. I have both ADD and autism and can't get specialized help for either of them because "well it sounds more like the other" and then I get stuck in bureaucratic hell. That said wishing autism over ADD is wild because I find the former significantly more disabling. Honestly I do sometimes wonder if it's just one or the other but at this point of over 10 years of being in the mental health system I really can't be bothered anymore to try.
Also a question to others here; do meds just not work for you as well? Any ADHD medication just makes me insanely anxious the moment they get to a dose that gives me a bit of focus, so it's useless.
>>1881210Yes and I'm trying to battle an binge eating disorder at the same time so I'm kind of fucked. The foods I'm obsessed with and tend to eat even more when I'm not doing well aren't exactly healthy salads.
No. 1883201
File: 1707523301215.jpg (86.77 KB, 1200x800, supplements-1200x800-1.jpg)
ADHD nonnas, are there any OTC supplements that you've found helpful for your symptoms?
I know there's a lot of snake oil in this industry, but because I'm shit at both monitoring changes in how I feel and at remembering to take supplements consistently it can be hard for me to tell what actually has an effect on me and what doesn't. The only exception has been melatonin, that one works immediately at least 65-70% of the time.
But just today I impulse-bought something that allegedly contains l-dopa, the precursor to dopamine, so I'm cautiously optimistic about that.
No. 1883206
>>1883201Are you trying to take these to avoid Adderall and Ritalin? Or are you taking alongside actual prescriptions? There's a lot of snake oil made for ADHD markets and you really shouldn't be taking anything that fucks with dopamine or serotonin if you're on prescribed meds.
The first that comes to mind is Ashwagandha. Marketed heavy towards ADHD markets but is completely unregulated in the US and shouldn't be taken daily.
No. 1883215
>>1883206I'm only on a low dose of Strattera right now, which acts on norepinephrine. I
used to be on Adderall, and it was so much more effective for me, but I just couldn't tolerate the physical side effects. Now the only stimulant I use is coffee, and though I certainly don't miss the tachycardia I'd love to be able to focus even half as well as I did back then. I do appreciate your concern as well, though!
No. 1883345
>>1881267>>1882576>>1883032What do you eat everyday in a row? For me it's: 2 scrambled eggs, a sesame bagel with cream cheese, a cup of greek yogurt, and 3 slices of bacon for breakfast; lunch is spicy sauteed tofu with broccoli and green beans (blanched beforehand obviously) and egg-fried rice/noodles with peas, corn, seaweed, peanuts, and bean sprouts; and then for dinner I usually finish the large amount of rice/noodles that I make for lunch with more veggies, corn on the cob or grilled pepper, grilled shrimp or chicken breast, and a can of Fresca. If I want to snack through the day I either eat Goldfish crackers, pineapple slices, or more peanuts. I've been on this 'diet' for like 5 months now and I'll only switch up if I'm going to a restaurant or if I'm craving grease and get fried chicken, even then though I'll only get white meat. I have something against dark meat (I hate that vein that you bite down on in a chicken leg it makes me seize up and cringe runs down my spine kek)
No. 1885520
>>1881210I was raised eating trash food and no vegetables, but i also have an insane sweet tooth. It doesn't benefit me to just stick to my comfort foods and i've been spending a lot of time finding foods i can eat consistently that aren't filled with sugar and easy to cook. I literally cannot stand cooking tbh, the process is extremely annoying to me.
>>1881099I have both adhd and autism and I feel like it's kind of apples to oranges. With adhd, the thing i struggle the most with is memory issues and executive dysfunction. With autism, the thing that's an issue is the social deficits, which is made worse by being a loner with no friends for over a decade. The only time they meet together is probably the executive dysfunction, i need intense structure or else my life goes completely off the rails, but at the same time, i cannot be the one to decide the structure. When i lost the structure of being in full time education, it really did ruin my life a lot and made me lose a control over myself.
No. 1885561
>>1885494Sensory problems yes, they were much worse when I was younger but as I've gotten older I'm able to suck it up and deal with most of them. If it's a LOT of stimuli it's still pretty bad but I just avoid situations where it'd be an issue. Previously I would have considered myself too "socially adept" to be autistic, but I think I just got better at reading people as I got older since I do pretty okay now (texting is still a nightmare since there's no body language). Looking back to my kid-to-teen self I was extremely awkward and relied on TV and other people to know how to act. I'd get extremely confused and embarrassed if I'd mimic something I'd seen before and didn't get the response I was supposed to. I would ask people inappropriate questions and would be confused when they didn't want to answer me. I never assume someone is lying to me even if it's obvious to other people that they're being insincere. Stuff like that. I don't really have rituals, but I do constantly pick my skin if that counts as a repetitive behavior? That's stuck around since childhood.
>>1885505The actual meltdowns or whatever they are don't come up around people too often so it doesn't affect my socializing that much. It
has happened in front of other people though and it's always so mortifying so I try and leave tbe social situation if I can feel the overwhelm coming on. When I was younger it would interfere with family stuff, I had one of those moments right before we had to go somewhere and my family freaked out and stayed home because they didn't know what was happening or how to help me. Who would I talk to about this? Psychiatrist?
No. 1886604
File: 1707810423859.jpg (50.45 KB, 950x827, 20240207_124238.jpg)
So I sent my new boyfriend a few lewd ass pictures, because that's what a normal gf does right, and the only responses I get are "oh damn niceee this is pretty hot ngl" and "they are pretty nice" Is that all? I didn't expect an love confession from a Jane Austen book but still. Did I overstep an unspoken rule? Why am I stuck on how…small his reaction was? I don't have a strong sexual drive but is one of those rare days I feel good in my skin and wanted to show it in some way to him. I could just be overthinking because he did have a 24 hour shift and was tired, but it still feels like I did something wrong, and now it will end with him being disinterested in me. I don't know how to deal with this emotion. I've only had 3 hours of sleep sorry if this is a mess.
No. 1886629
>>1886604Moids have 24/7 access to extreme porn and an endless variety of e-thots right in his pocket, you can't be shocked if some tame nudes are nothing special to him.
Anyway you did something extremely dumb unfortunately, try to steal his phone and delete them because sending nudes is profoundly stupid and dangerous whether it's 'normal' or not. And don't keep offering yourself up to him if he doesn't seem all that excited by you, keep your dignity.
No. 1886638
>>1886604Ignoring the "should you even send nudes" part for now.
How would you feel if you had been working a 24h shift and you're tired af, and your bf sent you a shirtless thirst trap or a dick pic? Did you have any consideration for if he was in the mood or not? Is your boyfriend the kind to be constantly horny all the time? Some will say all men are horny 24/7 but it's not true. Men on average have a higher libido than women, but that doesn't mean lower libido men don't exist too.
As you said yourself, you didn't send them to make him happy you sent them because you wanted him to compliment you when you felt good about yourself. So you didn't actually "give him a gift", you essentially just forced emotional support work onto him when he was already tired from work - but you didn't even tell him that was what it was, so how would he have known?
And he DID give you a positive response, you're just upset he didn't give a big enough reaction to what should have been a "gift" to him. Hope you get some sleep nona.
And here's a kind of related anecdote, some of my male colleagues are in their 30s and early 40s and while one was single I overheard them discussing NOT liking to receive sexy pics from potential new partners, especially if it was "just" a body part like an ass or pussy pic. "What am I even supposed to do with that?". It was actually kind of nice to hear men not liking their version of dick pics either lol
No. 1886645
File: 1707814144224.jpg (85.29 KB, 510x680, F8fusUaW4AACaK6.jpg)
People around me keep telling me I might have autism. I had a few compare me to Sheldon from BBT. I know I've always been weird but I don't think of myself as autistic because I don't have much in common with other autistic people. However the comparisons have become more common and it annoys me. Is it worth getting tested?
No. 1887194
File: 1707854406834.jpg (118.57 KB, 1280x720, pixielocks-disorder-faker.jpg)
Speaking of fakers online, I tend to get obsessed with disorder fakers to the point that it kinda consumes me. I used to be super obsessed with simplykenna/cozykitsune because she was so incredibly comically bad at faking her level 3 autism but her fans still ate it all up. I could write a book on her antics (and my poor friends know it kek). Last year or so I got stuck on pixielocks since she started larping autism too. It's entertaining but also kind of exhausting to waste my time on these people. My own autism won't let me drop it, it's like they're a puzzle I need to solve but can't because all the pieces are stolen from the wrong puzzles, so I can't ever finish it and move on. Does anyone else relate to this?
No. 1887377
File: 1707867138467.png (1.09 MB, 1080x1080, autismfaker-mckenna.png)
>>1887219>>1887220Oh my god nonas I love you for commenting this so I get to sperg out! Literally every single autistic trait Kenna ever claimed was 1. SUPER mild (wearing socks inside out, hair touching her neck gives her a meltdown, not understanding sarcasm, being asexual, suddenly liking stim toys, having special interests) and 2. She disproved every single one nearly on the daily in her own posts. I don't buy for a second that she is even level 1 because everything she's said about having the mildest of traits were all lies.
She pretends to be level 3, as
>>1887199 said if that was true she wouldn't be able to ever live by herself, she would be a proper drooling "retard" who needs daily caretakers to wipe her ass for her. She got this level 3 diagnosis in Japan after a single session - which us spergs know is fucking bullshit and not how the real evaluation process goes. So we know she was never properly evaluated. Given that in her "coming out as an autist" video she very clearly intentionally acted "retarded" (spoke slower, slurred her words, avoided looking at the camera, while after backlash pretending she was just "mask off" for once) it's fair to speculate that she also did all that in front of the medical professional who diagnosed her. I believe she actually went in and "acted" retarded to get her diagnosis (don't forget - Kenna was a theater kid).
Kenna lived all alone by herself in a country where she didn't speak the language - and she did just fine. She had NO social issues whatsoever, despite supposedly being an undiagnosed (first half of the time) autist who had no support, no therapy, no nothing to help her at all. And after getting the diagnosis? She continued on as before, because she truly did not need ANY support with her "autism" whatsoever.
Let's look at what Kenna said makes her an autist again. She likes to wear her socks inside out - ok, so? Even if she does have mild sensory issues on her toes, that's not in any way exclusive to autism. Somehow, this is still her strongest claim to autism because she doesn't post close up of socks enough for us to verify it.
Then she claimed her hair HAD to be short because it touching her neck gives her a "meltdown" - but in nearly every single picture posted before and after that claim, her hair is literally touching her fucking neck! Every day, for prolonged periods of time, without a meltdown in sight. So that was clearly just a lie.
Then she had the NERVE of claiming she doesn't understand sarcasm - but her entire online presence sarcasm has been her go-to humor. She toned it down for awhile for the larp, but eventually just went back to her regular sarcasm. So that was also 100% a lie. (She was on platforms such as tumblr and insta where reblogging + reposting is common so we know she understood other people's sarcasm just fine as she'd post it and react accordingly).
She also claimed she can't "read between the lines" and to her friends face in a video even said "maybe 'sleep with' means 'sleep next to' uwu?" pretending that she had NEVER heard of "sleeping with" referring to sex ever in her entire grown ass adult life before. Bullshit. Which overlaps with the next point, she does fucking poetry - she even claims it as a special interest - she knows, loves and uses idioms all the time. She absolutely knows how to read between the lines.
Her special interests were btw always surface level, such as ice skating which was a true passion of hers after watching the anime yuri on ice, she went skating like once or twice. Very passion, such interest. At best she's a disney adult, but not every disney adult is an autist. And she's not even the kind of disney adult who fills her house up with disney merch, so she's at a low-level even there. She really just likes things a perfectly normal amount.
Stimtoys are barely worth even mentioning, she'd do the typical "trying out stim toys" posts like all fakers, and which was trendy even for normies (fidget spinners were literally everywhere).
Being asexual is a big part of her brand because she has a madonna-whore complex. Curiously though, before she started to larp as asexual she would openly thirst post after hunky male actors, think posts like "the things he could do to me hnnngg" type of posts of shirtless actors. She most likely has a low libido which is just really fucking common for women (and nearly 100% of women on anti-depressants…). If Kenna really was an autist, why would she have to lie about mild traits?
BUT WHY would she do all this?
Right before she "came out" as an autist she had a BIG art theft scandal, and she immediately used her fake diagnosis to blame her actions on it. "I didn't know stealing art was theft because… autism" and due to the fear of backlash that made all the call out posts and videos disappear, no one wanted to be cancelled for having attacked a poor autistic person! So Kenna had a really big incentive to larp autism from the start, it gave her a shield from
valid criticism and made her scandal go away. Kennas edited photos are cute! So young female autists really want her to be one of us, so we can go "look we can also be cute and have social media followings despite our autism", but as soon as you even scratch one inch of the surface of Kenna it all falls apart. She's no more an autist than Dylan Mulvaney is a woman.
No. 1888363
File: 1707943496270.jpg (141.77 KB, 1021x1024, 1688590946320.jpeg.jpg)
RSD sucks so bad how do I cope I just isolate so no one sees how dramatic I'm feeling over stupid shit that isn't even real
No. 1888429
File: 1707947945974.gif (16.34 KB, 150x172, 1697665048550.gif)
i hate being autistic so much I would do anything to be a normie and be able to connect with people and be able to have intimate close relationships.. i dont know how to be social or talk to people at all, ive self-isolated my whole life and i feel like im stunted by at least 5 years behind other people my age, its really bad
No. 1888551
>>1887521>Very autistic of youThis made me laugh, you caught me! I am an autist.
>>1887833I didn't mean this in a mean way, I just think if you posted this in that thread we'd be able to have a more in-depth discussion about it plus you'd get more people talking about Kenna. I think there should be a next time because I actually enjoy reading sperg-outs and I liked your writing style in this post.
No. 1889588
>>1889366>Anyone else feel like all the cards are stacked against them? I'm gonna sounds pretty silly here, but as a kid I decided that "I'm lucky" and weirdly that mentality has stuck with me and helped me be humble and less depressed. No matter how shit everything around me got, any time something nice happened I automatically told myself "hehe my good luck strikes again". It felt like a magic power, like the world was trying to keep me down but this magic luck allowed me to still get some nice things the world tried to prevent me from having. I know it's not a real power, I'm not insane lol but it actually works to be silly and think about it that way. It allows me to examine what nice things I'm lucky to have, like I live in a warm house, I have a soft bed, I get weekends off, I'm not in an
abusive relationship, I get to watch cartoons and eat ice cream on a saturday morning - and that's more than 99% of my ancestors ever got. They'd be so happy for me, despite my struggles they'd know I'm safe and have a home. I know the countless of mothers I descended from just wanted for their kids and their grandkids and so on to live safe happy lives, worrying if they'd be ok- if
I would be ok. I know they'd be SO happy to know I'm in a safe warm place.
I like you learned about being at risk of addiction so decided alcohol wasn't worth it, same with other drugs. I've had some struggles with EDs too, but they ARE possible to overcome nona. I personally found watching youtubers who have overcome obesity and are now maintaining their new lower weight to be a big help in motivation. And know that food is the real culprit, you can eat less with 0 exercise and still lose weight! So there is no need to force yourself to do ridiculous hard workouts, you just need to focus on getting your eating habits in order. It's hard, but not impossible! You also have to stop thinking of it in black or white, so if you "fail" one meal that doesn't mean that entire day was failed or that you should give up. You do NOT need to lose it all within a year! You want to make lifelong changes that you can life your entire life with and feel comfortable. You're so far from the only overweight person, MOST people are overweight. If you're american, 40% of women are literally obese. It isn't a moral failure from YOU, society is set up for everyone to make bad food decisions. I believe in you nona, you can do it! I'll share my good luck with you!
No. 1889615
>>1889588ayrt, and I want you to know that you legitimately made me tear up. Thank you for your kind words, I honestly really needed to hear it. It can get so incredibly demoralizing being even in BED support spaces. I know I need to find my own way because they just make it worse for me.
And I don't think you're "I'm lucky" thing is weird at all, it sounds really nice actually.
No. 1889647
>>1889615Aww nona I really am rooting for you!!! Sometimes we need to know that someone has our back, and I obviously don't know you but I do sincerely believe in you and that you can turn your life around. And I mean what I said about ancestors, I fully believe they're behind you too and all they wish for is for you to be happy and healthy - you're never truly alone.
If you wanna watch youtubers there's a girl/channel called "jordan shrinks" who struggled with (and overcame!) binge eating too, I recommend watching her! (Iirc she may even have adhd too, she can be pretty hyper and funny) I absolutely think finding an online support community CAN be helpful, but I'd then focus on a community surrounding people who are already successfully making changes (like this youtuber, for example). Often if it's a group just for sufferers of an ED they only keep everyone sick and miserable. It becomes a pity party and you get an incentive to stay sick - because the second you lose and overcome your ED you're no longer part of the ED support group, and you'd lose all those new friends. So you want a group where a lot of people already have overcome it and can support you through it! Don't forget it's not just about the end goal, it's a journey that you should enjoy! Maybe it won't seem like it at first, but I'm sure you can do it and find those joyful moments. Maybe you'll discover you love taking a daily walk in the park, maybe you'll find tasty new healthy foods to try, maybe you lose some weight and find moving around easier and more fun. There will be lots of little joys like that!
No. 1895965
>>1895908Just think of a sports team scoring a goal, you'll see adults all screaming, jumping, running around, waving and clapping of excitement. Both players and the 10.000 people in the audience watching.
To this day I've still not met a single autist who hand flaps, where are you, who are you?
Ok I possibly lied, as a kid I met a severely mentally delayed boy who couldn't speak and just made noises, he'd occasionally flap his hands in a t-rex kind of way and he may have been an autist.
No. 1897284
>>1897063What helped me is just doing it, because it's gonna suck until it's over anyway. One way or another it'll be done - either you don't submit anything and fail and feel awful, or you submit something. By that I mean just shitting anything out, doesn't have to be good. Then you either get into it enough to fix it so that it's less shit, or submit it as-is. I know "just do it" sounds like awful advice, but it really does eliminate beginner's paralysis and gives you at least some direction.
I've been unmedicated for most of my life, even post-diagnosis. I think relying on medication too much is a detriment for precisely these reasons so I use them very very sparingly. I've also been in situations where a lot depended on how well I perform a task and failure simply wasn't an option, and I mean things like my parents dying or going homeless. Eventually you just learn that it'll go by one way or another, whether you do anything about it or not.
>why couldn’t i just be normal?You're normal, you just have ADHD. It's a common condition, and it is what it is so you'll have to learn to accommodate for it. I'm not trying to be a bitch, it's just that you really have no choice and the sooner you realize you have to play the cards you're dealt, the better off you'll be in the long run.
No. 1897320
>>1897284>I know "just do it" sounds like awful advice, but it really does eliminate beginner's paralysis and gives you at least some direction.To add onto this, a trick to get started on writing when you feel like you don't even know where to start is to start writing some annoyed bullshit down. It sounds stupid but it does often work! What you do is you (literally) write something like "Alright listen up fuckers, I'm going to tell you about this boring ass topic because I have no other choice, and it's actually retarded how A is B - but why is that? Let's take a deeper look…".
Just delete/rewrite that part before sending it in kek my teacher once checked my bs writing over the shoulder before it was done but luckily she thought it was funny
One thing that also works for me specifically is imagining a person I hate is arguing some stupid shit against whatever topic I have to write. Say I have to write a book analysis about a book I frankly don't give a shit about, I'll imagine a smug troon telling me it's his favorite book and I'm just too stupid to get it. I imagine what arguments he'd use like "this female character is great becuase she is weak and submissive, just like us women should be uwu" and then my brain wants to argue that the weak female character is actually a product of sexist stereotypes and should be criticized for it.
Lastly, it clearly depends on the context but any time I could get away with it I would make my writing comedic, I would write it almost as if I wrote a passive aggressive call-out post on tumblr meant to entertain readers. If I can sneak in references to things I love I do that too, like movie quotes or song lyrics and such. Again, it depends on context and how strict your teachers are - but I was very often praised by teachers for my writing because they got bored reading 20 sterile text on the same/similar topic so when my writing came up and made them laugh it gave me a better grade and they started liking me more as a person. Teachers are only human, they're biased and tend to WANT to give you better grades if they like you. They're still not gonna slap good grades on everything you do, but if you're right between B+ or A they'll end up giving you the A. Same thing if you're right between failing or passing, they'll let you pass.
No. 1900595
>>1900578I think sometimes we're prone to thinking normal behaviours are symptomatic of our autism. For example, everybody I know has a favourite mug they use to drink coffee in the morning. It's like that way at my office too, even though it's an unwritten and unspoken rule all of us know whose mug is whose and won't drink coffee from a mug that isn't "ours." I think "masking" in some cases is us trying to be the most likeable and least conflict-inducing person we can be, like in your example you don't want other people to sit in your chair but you'd be willing to let them sit there if it meant you didn't have to be looked at funny or start a fight. I've always viewed masking as just a tool for me to get what I want, i.e., I'll mask when I want others around me to perceive me as someone that I'm not. I like to mask at work because I'd rather coworkers think of me as a happy-go-lucky person so that I'm not stuck with being given the more draining or important tasks. I like to mask when I go out to dinner with normies because I understand that nobody really wants to hear a spergout over the dinner table and even though I think talking about the weather and work is dull, it's what they appreciate discussing, so I do it for an easy time. At certain times, it's better to take the mask off and be very analytic and 'emotionless' like when I talk to bankers, doctors, or other people that I feel it's important for them to take me 'seriously.' I think 'masking' is more of a tool rather than an impediment; earlier in life I thought the opposite, but as I learn more about me and grow I've found that I can make a distinction between the true self and the persona that I choose to wear when it's beneficial.
No. 1902346
>>1900578I never masked to begin with lol I agree with
>>1900595>sometimes we're prone to thinking normal behaviours are symptomatic of our autismI am the way I am, if it inconveniences other people and I notice/they tell me I will try to change so I don't bother them, but if not there's no point in trying to "fix" an issue that doesn't exist. If I don't know about something I just ask a normie.
No. 1903051
File: 1708995607631.png (307.77 KB, 825x464, autism-and-good-feeling-small.…)
Nonies I'm so happy; after a year and a half on a waiting list I was finally able to make an appointment to get start getting a diagnosis! There's strong indicators I'm AuDHD but it will be such a relief to get some confirmation from a professional just to prove (to myself) that I'm not faking it.
I always was a weird kid but because I did well in school I was just labelled 'smart but shy' Then after high school I spiralled into depression, but eventually with medication was able to go through university. Now I'm 15 years deep in antidepressants and I'm wondering how much of my depression is actually just from being a burnt-out autist. Hopefully a diagnosis will lead me to getting some proper therapy
No. 1903182
>>1903149I can relate to this. I also grew up in a very socially isolated environment, I didn't even know other children existed until the age of 3, and when I was enrolled in school I didn't understand how to make friends at all. The first doctor that saw me as a young child was unsure if I had autism, my late teens I ended up being diagnosed with Asperger's. I think diagnosing high-functioning children is difficult in certain ways because in my case, I was too young to properly articulate my feelings and experiences, but old enough to understand what was "normal" and the expectation that I would give the "correct" answers to certain questions, i.e., I had learned to effectively mask by the time I was 9 years old although I didn't have a name for it at the time. I think a lot of high-functioning autists go through a confusing period in their mid-childhood where they don't understand why it is that they are being bullied or picked on by others, and because nobody at home can recognize the autism as the cause, they grow up internalizing this belief that there is something innately unlikable about them. I was very anxious and depressed as a teenager and a young adult but after I went on SSRIs a lot of my social anxiety dipped. With the help of therapy and my own maturation I realized that not everyone is going to like me, and that's okay. I know now that I can do just as well as a normie can do, even if I do it in a different sometimes peculiar way. If you have social anxiety, I recommend SSRIs because they really helped me to get over that fear of going outside ("what if people talk to me and I don't know what to say? what if people look at me and I look weird?" what ifs killed me). When I'm on SSRIs I feel like I'm in control of my anxiety, when I'm not taking them my anxiety has the ability to rule over me. It's good that you have a close network of friends: most of my friends are fellow autists, some diagnosed and some undiagnosed. I find that even without knowing, high-functioning autists tend to gravitate towards each other. Dust attracts dust so they say. I related to the video you attached particularly with the wind sounds, I honestly can't stand being outside when it's all loud and windy like that and my hair is getting fucked up I always get irritated kek, but now I just wear a tight hat or a headscarf on those days and put my noise-proof earbuds in.
No. 1903377
>>1902692Yeah, and i hate when people bypass my point and assume i'm arguing about morals even when i'm not. I think this is what being a woman is like, we don't have ideas or opinions in the eyes of others, only moral or emotional prejudice. Some people will only challenge what you say on these terms. Just remind them that you're not discussing
your or
their feelings.
No. 1903513
>>1902996It wasn't exactly what I was talking about, but I get your point. Feelings are important too, I think even most autists know that such as the post
>>1900578 talking about using the seat that "feels" best to her when it's just a seat as good as any other seat.
>Why should I ignore someone else's feelings just because it's the "logical" thing to doWe're not talking about something benign like "logically I shouldn't have even one extra little chocolate because it's unhealthy, even though it makes me feel good". Logic would be saying "affirming a delusional man feels good for him in the moment but hurts him in the long run, and hurts ALL females the whole time - logically it's not a good thing to do and there are better ways". I don't think feelings based on logic are to be dismissed either! Just because you arrived at a feeling by thinking logically doesn't make it worth less than someone else who arrived at theirs on impulse - but people around you tend to push exactly that, and you seem to deem it immature to rely on logic.
>I get what you're trying to say with your troon argument, but even then your argument is illogical.What about it is illogical to you? Do you think there is merit to saying a man is a woman, and that being a woman is just a "feeling"?
No. 1903552
>>1903051Good luck nona!
>>1903377>Yeah, and i hate when people bypass my point and assume i'm arguing about morals even when i'm not.I agree with this. Sometimes it really feels as a female if you're not coddling everyone around you they think something is wrong with you, but men aren't treated the same way and are allowed to be more "logical". If I say something neutral but logical it's still seen as if I'm making an emotional judgment rather than that I could possibly have thought about it. I know a guy who does this all the time to me, I'll be reciting some interesting study I read and he'll immediately act as if I personally had an agenda and conducted the study myself to prove some point I had apparently already made up lol I literally don't even get to say if I agree or disagree with the study, or mention flaws in how it was conducted (which I like doing because I'm a fucking nerd).
>>1903510I know certain nonas get mad when autists answer adhd questions, but my go to answer for any condition is just that if it is diasabling for you, it's a disability. If you're the kind who apparently doesn't "suffer" but just have it as a quirky trait (or even see it as a strength) then no, it's not a disability. If your daily life is noticeably negatively impacted as a direct result then yes.
No. 1904011
>>1903609>I've never really wanted a relationship at all in my life It's a commonly noted thing for autistic women to not have their "sexual awakening" (sounds gross but I don't know what other term to use) until their brains are actually done/closer to done developing in their mid to late 20s. Don't know how old you are though.
Personally I would say I do have a very low libido, but that was still pretty true for me. My sexuality was also made non-existent on ssri though (lowering libido is a very common side effect in general) so much so that I secretly identified as asexual for a while, I truly had no desire for love or sex at all. I honestly think a lot of young "asexual" people (women) forget the fact that they are healvily medicated and that affects their libido even when it's not intended to. Might not be your case, but if you've been on any medication for a long time that is highly likely.
I've also never felt the "need" to date anyone the way most people are desperate to have a partner. I feel very comfortable alone! People were confused to why I was single year after year and not even looking to date anyone, that made no sense to them lol for me unless I like a specific person, I feel no need to be with "anyone". It worked out fine in the end, I have a great boyfriend now.
No. 1904026
>>1903980I met my boyfriend in a gaming discord group because I'm lame lol he's an autist too and he was so careful not to make ANY moves on me at all, to not even compliment me to make me uncomfortable by accident and the whole time I was screaming on the inside because I had a crush and wanted him to like me really bad lmao he didn't think I'd be interested in him at all, his mind was blown when I actually wanted to date him kek
I have spent my entire life refusing to ever touch a dating app. I hate the idea of them and the execution. I hate that any guy I would be talking to on there are actively looking and talking to other women to date and/or sleep with them. I would just be "the best looking option at the moment". It just feels so unnatural to me somehow. In my mind the kind of guy who goes on a dating app isn't the kind of guy I would be able to date, so going there to look for someone to date would be like looking for a five star meal in a dumpster. I also honestly find the thought of having to say "we met on a dating app" really embarrassing because it's just so unromantic (and that's saying something considering I met my boyfriend on discord lol)
No. 1904925
>>1904185>i find the idea of sexual contact with another person honestly kind of disgusting, i do not believe i can keep up the the male sex driveNona please realize that this is 90% of women in a realtionship and this is what is normal and expected. Men on average just have a higher sex drive than women, and contrary to incel belief it doesn't mean the woman has to have sex with them any time they're horny.
I find the thought of sex with any human on earth who isn't my boyfriend very gross and off-putting. Doesn't matter if it's the hottest male actor to ever live, I still find it gross… it's just how I am, I have a one track mind and can only be attracted to one person at a time. All of the "don't slutshame" propaganda has led to women thinking they kinda have to be slutty and want casual sex all the time when many women simply do not like it and instead just want one dedicated person. It's of course perfectly fine if you still want to be alone, I'm just sad to see autist women being told they can't ever find love because of how they are when in relity they are SO normal for only wanting one partner and having a low libido.
No. 1905262
I started dating recently and he shows me lots of affection, both in words and actions, and I don't know how to react to it and I feel bad about it. I was never in a relationship and I also didn't get much affection as a child, which combined with autism, makes me really shitty at receiving any kind of affection. I can talk and text with him about many topics but when he starts talking about his feelings towards me and asks about mine and how I feel in general, I just shut down and I don't know what to say, there's literally nothing in my mind. The last time I didn't really want to talk about it face to face, he sent me a really long message and it was very sweet, like I actually can't believe I can make someone feel like this about me, it feels surreal. He said many things, like he loves the way I smile and he wants to make me happy and he would do anything for me, and he wants to be a better person because of me. I know that he already made some changes in his life so it's not just words. He knows I'm autistic and he also wrote that if I feel too overhelmed by him or what he says or I need a time alone, I can just tell him. And I didn't even answer and I feel like shit about it, I feel paralyzed. Today we saw each other at work and he asked if everything was all right, and I said yeah, he again said that if I feel overhelmed I can just tell him and I said we will talk more on saturday when we see each other. I didn't really want to talk at work, not just because it was a little uncomfortable but also because focusing on my work makes it even harder to think about my feelings. I literally need days to think on what to say to him. I'm so bad at this it makes me want to off myself. I don't want to hurt him but I feel like I can't help it
No. 1906184
File: 1709198783070.png (421.07 KB, 524x559, FuxBO8xaEAA-52K.png)
I was NEET for the past 6 months before my savings ran out now I'm in a full-time position and it's just sort of miserable? I've only ever worked casually, could call off work if I wasn't in the mood, but I was hoping I'd be able to get my shit together to tolerate working full-time because of the paycheque. But I leave every day a little more depressed than the day before. Getting up in the morning feels terrible.
I cry in the bathroom and after work because I feel like I can never actually understand what my co-workers are expecting of me, and that stress leads to careless mistakes, and then I have to suck up in an attempt to try and appease them. I'm really close to trying to get put on disabilitybux because I'm not sure how much I can handle without completely embarrassing myself.
There are days that I just can't help but think this shit about "loving" my autism "superpower" is such a crock of shit because I hate being autistic. People only value autistic retards if you're a true and honest sped or if you're creating the cure to cancer with your super savant syndrome. But when you're just a normal retard who doesn't say the right thing or smile at the right time then you don't even deserve respect or accommodation. I wish I could just thrive in the world that was created by the NT for the NT, because I feel like I could achieve things that would make my parents proud if I wasn't such a sped. It sucks feeling like a disappointment no matter how hard I try, because I'll always fuck up somewhere down the line.
No. 1906872
I genuinely hate being among people and I can't cope with it. I can't stand when they "like" me. They only like me because I can somewhat mask and I just seem shy and well read but they have no idea how bad the real me is. I could never invite them to my house because it's so dirty and there's trash and clothes that haven't been washed in months everywhere. I wear the same thing almost every week because it gives me comfort and I'm lucky that I don't sweat much because I bathe like once a week and by some miracle I don't stink and the perfume I use makes people think I smell nice. They literally give me compliments about it and I think to myself, I'm a literal slob wearing the same underwear for days. I get constantly irritated by everything around me. I tried dating twice. The guy I see now is really sweet and in love with me but I just can't do it, I get overstimulated too quickly and I just want to be left alone and not talk to anyone for days. I know he objectivelly has good intentions and he knows I'm autistic but I get legitimately ANGRY that I have to reply to him. Coworkers invite me for trips to museums and shit, like a whole-day-long trips. I tried like 5 times. And it was so so exhausting. The topic is interesting to me but the physical and emotional exhaustion that comes with moving away from my home and being among people for a few hours is just too much for me. I ended up regretting that I went there every. single. time. No matter how interesting and how nice something is, there's always this thought in the back of my head: "I would prefer to be alone at home right now". Always. When I was younger I thought I could condition myself to this, I thought that one day I could have friends or even a boyfriend if I tried hard enough, but the more I try, the more tiring it gets. Even is someone is really understanding, empathetic, kind, wants to know me, accepts me etc., I still can't stand being around them. A relationship with someone like me is just not possible. I would end up spending most of the time locked in my room and the person would feel neglected. At 29 I'm really starting to accept that I will always be alone and the only thing I can do now is to start saving money so when I get too old to take care of myself I will pay someone to do it, because I'm 100% sure I will never develop relationships with other human beings and I will have no security net. It's so fucked up to think that I actually thought I could change my inherent nature.
No. 1906937
File: 1709251546012.jpg (289.41 KB, 1920x1080, watamote.jpg)
Do you nonnas have any piece of media or character that you related to or you felt that it made your experience as a sperg more valid? For me it was Watamote and the protagonist, Tomoko. Back in 2013, when I watched it, I thought "oh I'm able to speak with others therefore I'm not like her" but watching it as my adult self, the way she fixates on things she perceives as important in order to gain acceptance (her whole get popular obsession) and the fact that she always tries so hard and isn't a natural with anything, which leads to many awkward moments, felt too familiar. It's somehow embarassing to admit all of this but this silly character is so raw and real in a way. Even her "I'm a pervert" shtick that some may say that it was oversexualization, feels like, in a way, she wasn't able to communicate her bisexuality in a socially acceptable way (semi-canon in the manga) plus brainrot from having moid hobbies.
No. 1906953
File: 1709252849483.jpeg (81 KB, 640x726, IMG_9325.jpeg)
>>1906937For me it was Reagan from Inside Job I guess? I'm not into STEM but a lot of her mannerisms boundaries and social awkwardness were highly relatable, as well as her embarrassment around her coworkers and mom diagnosing her an aspie. Shes flawed but still likable and not portrayed as the manic pixie girl a lot of neurodivergent female characters are
No. 1907364
>>1906872>I can't stand when they "like" me. They only like me because I can somewhat maskStop masking and they'll stop liking this "fake" you. So what if they don't like you unmaksed? Find someone who does.
>I could never invite them to my house because it's so dirty Then don't, it's not a requirement to knowing someone. But also, get your place cleaned. It's unhealthy to live in filth. It could be what is making you feel tired all the time.
>I ended up regretting that I went there every. single. time.Then start saying NO. You don't have to go and do things you don't want to. Have you told them you don't like full day trips and would prefer a shorter maybe 1-2h outing instead? What things exactly are more important to you at home? Can you bring those things with you and make a compromise? Have you explored all the options?
>It's so fucked up to think that I actually thought I could change my inherent nature.I mean you could change though lol in fact you WILL change, but only you can decide if you change to become better or worse.
And you can also make better life choices. Right now you're blaming other people for inviting you to things you don't like, but you don't tell them what you do like and what you could handle. Plenty of modern adult couples don't live together and have long distance relationships that allow plenty of space and alone time. There are also plenty of groups/clubs you could join that allow you to make friends you see for an hour or two once a week or so and that's it. That way you can socialize with good friends in small doses.
Honestly you sound like me when I was incredibly depressed and had bad friends I didn't even like. I thought that was just who I was, that I HAD to hang out with people when I didn't want to. I was just tired and wanted to go home and do anything else than to be with them no matter what, even with the few I liked. I was just biding my time waiting to be alone again. I had to stop letting those friends control what I do and become true to myself instead. I had to stop pretending that I'm a hopeless case that can't ever be happy no matter what I do, that's I'm a natural loner. One key element to me being able to hang out with people is to have defined times, especially times for when it ends so I can go home. If someone just wants to hang out I will immediately set a boundary - "sure, but I have to be home at this time" and when I felt more confident I switched to saying "I WANT to be home at this time, so I have time to relax in the evening". I had to define for myself what I want to do, where and with whom to put my energy. You sound burned out nona, you can't go on like that! But you CAN go on.
You're still in your late 20s but you'll soon be out of it, and despite being a few years younger than you I can tell you most older people aren't as social as young people. They won't expect the same kind of energy levels and time commitment. They want to go home to relax too! It will be easier to maintain those kind of friendships where you just go for a lunch, talk for an hour, and then you go home again. You have SO many options to improve your life nona!
No. 1907380
File: 1709284817980.png (392.45 KB, 1276x713, funny-tina-belcher-quotes-abou…)
>>1906937Not exactly what you were asking for, but I unironically think Tina Belcher from Bob's Burgers is THE best female autism rep I've seen in any show ever and I love to sperg about it:
>had a "sexy monster fanfics" phase>she loves horses a little bit too much in a childish way, without it being a special interest>she speaks in a monotone way>takes things a bit too literally>doesn't know she is socially awkward, and not in a "cute quirky" tiktok way>panics easily>doesn't like to break rules>has odd body language>is bad at lying>is at no point confirmed to be an autist to pander to some crowd>is NOT a sarcastic smartass or straight A science-nerd or uwu innocent smol beanAnd the best part is her family just accepts her as she is. She just exists as a realistic autist (within the boundaries/rules of the cartoon) without her autism being weaponized against her, made fun of in a mean way, or used as a token diversity character. They don't do the lame kids show thing of directly telling you "it's ok to be different uwu" (which then indirectly still points out "autism means being DIFFERENT and NOT normal) they instead just show you that she's just another person and how funny her interactions with the rest of the characters are.
No. 1909531
File: 1709413533586.jpeg (173.59 KB, 2000x2000, IMG_6730.jpeg)
Has anyone tried something like this? I ordered a pair that’s supposed to help reduce noise but not completely block everything. I didn’t even realize just how much noise I can’t filter until
>>1903149 It won’t help with the brightness but I think reducing noise will help me a lot with being more independent
No. 1909615
File: 1709422071133.png (38.91 KB, 276x309, 1707152480208.png)
>>1909613Shit I responded to the old post to say which one from the pic resembles my grip then forgot to mention it. It's this one
No. 1910064
File: 1709468597795.jpg (2.19 MB, 3552x2000, pencilgrip.jpg)
>>1909613I don't understand how or why anyone would naturally hold their pencil in a way that causes them pain, like why didn't you at any point just self-correct to hold it in a less painful way???
I've always been into drawing since before I can even remember (or could even write) so holding a pen in a comfortable way has always been obvious to me.
I guess if you want to correct it…
try holding your pen with your thumb and index finger, hand almost fully relaxed and all of you fingers (near) straight, hold it as lightly as possible without dropping it. It should be resting on the area between your thumb and index finger, and the angle of the pen is pretty angled, so it's "lying down" against you.
Try drawing some random lines on a paper this way.
Notice just how light you can hold the pencil while still drawing. You can just move your arm/hand and let the pencil just gently sit there without your fingers doing any work other than gently holding the pen.
Now if you want to actually write comfortably, you'll probably want to angle the pen upwards in a way that naturally lets you tuck your other fingers in under the index finger a bit (see picrel, but they can be waaay more open than in the picrel, I often just barely curl mine). You see the pen probably now rests on the side of your index finger, rather than in the middle.
The index finger guides the pen. The thumb lightly holds it in place. The middle finger can act as support, but isn't the guide. Some people (like picrel) end up having the tip inbetween the fignertips of your index and middle finger this way where the middle finger is then kind of a stabilizer (works well for drawing at certain angles, but I think keeping it straight works better when writing).
Focus on:
>holding the pen as lightly as possible - while drawing random lines>moving your whole wrist/arm instead of your fingertips to draw/write - see just how still (and relaxed) you can hold them while writing!I think praciting this will help you get a feel for how to write more comfortably.
No. 1910466
>>1910144>I often laugh at male trannies in publicYou sound so beautiful and based nona.
I'm generally the opposite, I sit still and watch what everyone else does so I can figure out the "correct" way to do it. Unfortunately this can backfire in several ways… for one I've had to sit and wait for 30 minutes after finishing my meal until another restaurant guest finally leaves, so I can watch them and figure out if I'm supposed to leave my plate/tray on my table or put it away somewhere else. I was too terrified that people would know I was a retard if I asked someone.
I've come SO close to doing awkward things from not fully understanding the context of a situation as well. For example I met up with a sports club I'm part of for an extra event (we all went to see a play together) and afterwords another youngish female (just a few years older than me) had to leave early, I didn't know her but she seemed to also be close to my closest friend from the club - who happens to be one of the oldest men there (he had nice grandpa vibes) so she hugged him to say goodbye before she went. It made me wonder if I should also hug him when I leave to like show that we are also good friends, and I also really wanted to be closer to the group as I was still pretty new. I was pretty determined to try giving him a hug to say goodbye too - I only chickened out the last minute. I felt kind of bad about it until a few weeks later when I found out that girl was actually his daughter and that's why she hugged him… I feel so stupid but grateful that I chickened out.
No. 1911969
>>1911751This made me remember this moid that was my psychiatrist some years ago. He prescribed me with citalopran, I start taking them and after I week I was already getting all of the side effects, I even stopped getting my period. I told him and the retard of course increased the dosis, I kept getting worse and he kept increasing the dosis pretty much disregarding what I said. I got so tired that I said fuck it and started to decrease the dosis myself without telling him. Needless to say I went back to normal and I got my period back kek
Now that I got my sperg diagnosis I'm taking sleeping pills at night but that's all.
No. 1912182
>>1911970ssri alone kind of messed with my vision, it made my eyes shake for a few seconds a day. It wasn't too bad but I have no idea if it would have gotten worse over time… it felt gross when it happened.
I got off ssri and i'm not missing it one bit, eyes haven't been shaking since.
Imo vision is absolutely vital to your well-being and independence, if something is hurting it get the fuck off it right away.
No. 1912270
Anyone else struggles with terrible dysphoria and dysmorphia? I know most people "grow out of it" with age, but mine is just as terrible as it was when I was a kid/teenager, and I'm 29 now. It became really bad after I hit puberty at 12 (although I had thoughts about "being in the wrong body" even as a 5 year old). Along with it came insomnia, chronic fatigue and pain and anxiety that I struggle with to this day. I never believed in trans ideology and I know that transition wouldn't help me. I know it would still be the same body I'm trapped in, just mutilated by surgery and hormones. Nothing ever helped; therapy, physical activity, meditation. Same with body dysmorphia. It doesn't matter how many nice things someone will tell me about the way I look; I will NEVER believe it. That's another reason why I know that even if I mutilated myself and even if I was passing as a guy, it
wouldn't help me because people's perception of me means nothing to me. Their perception will never change how I see myself and how I feel in this body. I'm 29 and the only photo I ever took of myself was for my ID. When I look in the mirror I see a stranger, it's not me. I also feel disgusted by human biology, not just mine, but in general. That's one of the reasons I think I will never manage to be intimate with someone. I was never molested or anything like that, and yet I feel strong disgust towards sexuality. I never had sex. I tried kissing a few times, thinking I will get used to it, but I was too disgusted by the saliva and this wet "sensation", even though I liked the person a lot and I liked to hug him and I still want to live with him tbh, but I don't think I will ever be able to be sexually active, and sooner or later I will have to tell him this and I will lose him. But I can't force myself to do something that disgusts me to my very core. I read that autistic people experience dysphoria, dysmorphia and sensory issues more often than neurotypical people, and since I got my diagnosis I got better understanding of what was happening inside my head, but it still doesn't change the fact that I can't get rid of it. I will always feel like an alien, annoyed by the fact I have to eat, poop and menstruate. Human body is lovecraftian tier horror to me
No. 1912424
I'm trying to read and find more people who have ADHD, and for whom no medication seems to work but half the time I just end up on pages where people go "guess you don't have it then!". It feels a bit demoralizing, even though my assessment ended with me practically getting whatever the psychiatric equivalent is of a perfect score. I just want to learn about better coping mechanisms. And I do feel insanely jealous when I read someone felt like they found the purpose of life the second after taking ritalin for the first time when all it did for me was make me insanely anxious.
>>1912270Almost the same age as you and I definitely have a level of it as I also have binge eating disorder. I think I look ugly as fuck and I hate every inch of my body. I also have barely any photos since my early teens. For me it's nothing regarding gender or wanting to not be female, so I can't comment on that bit.
One thing that recently broke me is that I realized I wouldn't be able to show anyone pictures if they asked. That if something happened to me, my family wouldn't really have pictures of me to show of how I am right now or in recent years. So even though I struggle immensely with seeing pictures of myself, I let the photos be taken or even take some myself as I don't want this life anymore. I want better for myself, and I deserve that. And so do you.
No. 1912456
>>1912270>I was never molested or anything like that, and yet I feel strong disgust towards sexuality.This is normal for autists. Hence why so many identify as asexual.
>Nothing ever helped; therapy, physical activity, meditation. Same with body dysmorphia. It doesn't matter how many nice things someone will tell me about the way I look; I will NEVER believe it.Therapy for body dysmorphia should not be a therapist complimenting your body, it should be them helping you become more functioning and feel less distressed from those kinds of thoughts. Helping you to change your own thinking patterns. How was your therapy experience(s)? What kind of professional(s) did you see? Did they specialize in autism? The thing is that therapy depends on the specific provider and your relationship. And it's very difficult for autistic people to find mental health professionals who understand us.
No. 1912474
>>1912456>Therapy for body dysmorphia should not be a therapist complimenting your bodyOfc you're right, but when I said that I meant people in general giving me compliments, it wasn't about my therapist.
I've been to many, many psychologists and psychiatrists since I was 12 and on like 8 different kinds of drugs since then, and they all diagnosed me with just major depression and anxiety, and only when I was like 20 one female psychologist implied that I might be autistic. But then she got pregnant and left. Then I had some terrible experiences with male psychiatrists and I dropped it for some time and haven't been to any kind of therapy for a few years. And then I finally met an older psychologists who had experience with working with autistic people before and she diagnosed me. Tbh I never talked about dysphoria to her, because I had so many other kind of problems with every-day functioning, I thoguht to myself "I have no strenght to also talk about THIS". But I guess now I will finally talk about it
So I guess if I don't want to be alone the only solution for me is to find another autist who's also repulsed by sex eh… It will be hard. The guy I'm seeing now is really lovely as a person and treats me like a princess and does all kind of things for me, including reading a lot on autism in order to understand me better, taking care of me and cookig for me, listening to all the weird shit I say kek. But well, sooner or later I will have to talk to him about my sex repulsion
No. 1912586
>>1912474>Ofc you're right, but when I said that I meant people in general giving me compliments, it wasn't about my therapist.Thanks for explaining. I felt uncomfortable when people complimented me in the past too. I don't have anything helpful to add though, it was time and processing my self-esteem issues that allowed me to ease up.
>I've been to many, many psychologists and psychiatrists since I was 12 and on like 8 different kinds of drugs since thenSo you've been through the psychiatric wringer, huh? Being medicated that early may have had lifelong impacts or numbing effects that continued into adulthood.
>Tbh I never talked about dysphoria to her, because I had so many other kind of problems with every-day functioning, I thoguht to myself "I have no strenght to also talk about THIS". But I guess now I will finally talk about itIt's good you knew to prioritize things. You must've made some good progress and now can address this.
>I guess if I don't want to be alone the only solution for me is to find another autist who's also repulsed by sex eh…There's a few sex-repulsed anons here I thought, but yes it might mean you can't really date because sex will be a dealbreaker for most people. If you never want to have sex that's 100% okay, but do you masturbate or sexually fantasize at all? Maybe you won't ever like kissing but can still enjoy other sexual behavior.
>I will always feel like an alien, annoyed by the fact I have to eat, poop and menstruate. Human body is lovecraftian tier horror to meThis sounds like you have issues with dissociation, have you always had this distressing levels of discomfort with bodily functions since childhood?
>That's another reason why I know that even if I mutilated myself and even if I was passing as a guy, it wouldn't help me because people's perception of me means nothing to me.Since you relate a lot to trans experiences, have you spent time reading detransitioners narratives? A lot of them seem to have had similar experiences around discomfort and working through it. I included one lesbian detransitioner's video on how she dealt with gender dysphoria, Carol's video is from a lesbian perspective but maybe it will have some helpful tips. I'm trying to think of autistic detransitioners who talk about it from that perspective, I can't recall any off the top of my head unfortunately. Maybe reading r/detrans can have some value, though you can't post there as a non-transitioner.
No. 1912683
>>1911969Oh man, citalopram. I told my psychiatrist that I’d had a bad experience with citalopram so he prescribed me escitalopram, which is very similar but stronger. Makes sense, right? When I expressed my reservations he got extremely condescending because “I’m a brain doctor and you’re not”.
Then when I had the same side effects as before except even worse he tried to convince me that it wasn’t a result of the medication at all but must be some mysterious other thing that coincidentally cropped up two weeks after I started the medication. It got to the point where I wasn’t able to function properly in my daily life and I was begging him to let me taper off before it got even worse, since I’d taken citalopram for a year and the side effects never abated. When I finally stopped taking it, the side effects went away. He still denied it was the medication.
I didn’t even have depression or an anxiety disorder, really. My depression and anxiety is 100% situational. He said he wanted me on an SSRI because it makes autistic symptoms “more manageable” apparently, and when I refused to take something that worked like a life-ruining sedative on me he said I was being uncooperative and he couldn’t help me. Some help that was.
No. 1912759
>>1912270This used to be me! This is going to be controversial but one thing that actually did help was getting plastic surgery on my number 1 most hated body part. I know I can't be perfect, and the result after isn't perfect either, but to me it stopped me from constantly thinking that even under my clothes i'm disgusting because of this flaw, that i can never let anyone see it, just thinking about the idea of anyone seeing it made me want to vomit! And now it's not even on my mind, I'm free of it. If you have a key thing you hate that you think is the worst it might actually be worth saving up to fix it (I could have listed a thousand flaws but this was the the worst one).
I can only speak for myself but I suspect it may be the same for you, that this kind of long lasting low self-esteem WAS turning/keeping me asexual (+ i had anti-depressants which lower your libido even more). I was SO sure I was undesirable that the thought of others became disgusting too, mostly because it involved me being there but I also thought body functions were disgusting at the core. People being into me didn't help either, they were wrong and I was right and I would never change my mind. In fact I COULD never change my mind! A lot of these feelings massively lowered or went away after I was able to stop seeing my body as a disgustingly flawed. I was VERY sex repulsed too but I'm now neutral (still find most of it gross in "theory", I hate sex scenes in media for example even if they're mild) and have a healthy relationship. It IS possible to turn it around.
My second controversial opinion is that you may have to get off all your meds and see if/how it helps. Obviously you still need meds that literally keep you alive but I swear at least 90% of meds that autist/adhd are sold is made up fucking bullshit that doesn't work and instead keeps you sick. They all list a billion known "side effects" that doctors frankly just ignore, but they're there and you do with 100% certainty have some of those side effects because you're not a magical lucky leprechaun who just gets the "wanted" effect. They barely even knew women had autism like 10 years ago, and now they suddenly have all the magic pills in the world to fix us, based on some guesswork and random tests done on males? Bullshit, it doesn't work and is ruining your body instead. Sorry to sound so conspiratory, but I swear all my autist friends who end up taking more meds end up worse - every time! And the few that got better were the ones who stopped taking meds. And the person I knew who was THE biggest autist (out of the ones I knew, he was still high functioning) also improved the most from stopping. This proves it's not just a correlation of "doing worse = naturally gets more drugs prescribed". If you do get off them though the withdrawal period is likely going to make it seem like the meds did help, because you'll be feeling worse, so it's tempting to think that means the meds helped even though they didn't. God the drugs pushing to autists is such a mess. Sorry for sperging.
No. 1912886
>>1912586>This sounds like you have issues with dissociation, have you always had this distressing levels of discomfort with bodily functions since childhood?I remember being disgusted by certain bodily fluids like saliva since ALWAYS. I remember being like 5 years old and my mom wanted me to drink from the same bottle as her and I was getting hysterical and angry at her because I found it gross. I would also demand to drink through a straw because I didn't want to leave my saliva on the cup. If I had to drink from a cup I would always use my sleeve to clean the cup after every sip because I felt disgusted by the mere thought of living saliva on it. Well I still prefer to drink through a straw and drinking without it grosses me out.
But that overall dismofort hit fully when I hit puberty at 11-12, I think because I hate changes and it was when my body started to change from something known to unknown and I still can't accept it to this day. I also became more self aware at that time. I really hate changes, I was 166 cm at 13 years old and for the rest of my life my weight was always around 50-52 kg but one time at 21 I gained some kilograms and for the first time in my life I could actually feel my breasts. Like they were wiggling while I was walking and stuff, and I felt absolutely
disgusted by it, it was like two tumors suddenly growing on my chest. Not having this alien feeling on my chest was my main motivation to go back to my old weight.
>Being medicated that early may have had lifelong impacts or numbing effects that continued into adulthoodMaybe, but I never took those drugs for long. If I saw no good effects (and that was always) I was dropping them after like 2 months, and if there were some bad side effects (and some drugs had them immediately) I was dropping them after a few days. I was hiding that fact from my mother because she wanted me to take meds
I think I'm hopeless kek but thank You for the reply and I will watch the video.
>>1912759>My second controversial opinion is that you may have to get off all your meds and see if/how it helpsI haven't been on any kind of meds since I was 21. That's 8 years. I took some meds from 14 to 21, but also with long periods of not taking anything in between. There was more time with no meds than a time while I was on meds I think
I have an incredibly strong sense of body integrity and the thought of anything going inside of it is just too violating. I masturbate like once a week and only touching my clit, zero desire to put anything inside.
I have no problem with people seeing my body. I could get naked in front of strangers or the man I'm dating now, it wouldn't matter to me. But I wouldn't let anything inside of me. Any kind of medical examination is also too hard for that reason and I would let it happen only when absolutely necessary. I won't go to a gynecologist. Most of female issues come from scrotes giving women HPV and UTIs and other kind of shit anyway. I don't have sex with men and I don't have any kind of issues with pain or periods or anything so I see no reason to go to a gyno and let them put some disgusting speculum inside of me and dilate me like a cow at a farm.
I have similar hate, disgust and fear regarding someone touching my scalp and my hair, but especially scalp, that's why I will never go to a hairdresser either.
>I was VERY sex repulsed too but I'm now neutral (still find most of it gross in "theory", I hate sex scenes in media for example even if they're mild) and have a healthy relationship. It IS possible to turn it aroundSo even though you're neutral you're still forcing yourself to have sex with your partner for their sake? I have to call it "forcing" because you have no desire for the sex itself, otherwise you would call yourself sex positive, not neutral. If I have no desire to go to work I have to force myself to do it because I know that otherwise I won't get paid.
No. 1913085
>>1912270> I was never molested or anything like that, and yet I feel strong disgust towards sexuality.Same, i think it fueled a huge part as to why i have chosen to be remain celibate for my whole life. The physicality of it sounds ok in theory to me, but i don't like the smell of skin or flesh. The smell of the fluids would honestly make me gag too. Also, i just think sex is 99% theatrics and a huge waste of time, when i hear people crying about how boring their sex life is i don't even understand, i thought the whole point was to orgasm but i guess i am wrong. The idea of somebody using my body for their own means sounds violating and disgusting to me.
Idk about body dysmorphia though. I only realised what i looked like and that i was actually human when i was 11. It was the first time i ever looked into the mirror and realised my physicality. In a similar sense, i never used to recognise people as "people", everyone was just a character in my mind and for some reason i had some minor issue with telling my dreams from reality. I used to tell everyone i had a cat because i have recurring dreams about it. For as long as i have known what i look like, i have hated the way i look. The inability to manipulate my appearance as freely as i wish i could makes me upset, but at the same time i feel like i have been influenced a lot by the way that people have treated me for the way i look, which is largely negatively. It makes it really hard to put on a mask of the person i wish i could be, making me more confused as to what i should do with myself more than i would otherwise.
No. 1913947
>>1912889At night. Usually a few hours after I eat a meal so it lulls me to sleep. I end up with sleep interruptions and wake up 2-3 times in the morning whether I take it with food or not. When I take it with food I see very little difference.
I prefer to take my meds at night and I think taking it during the day would make me more tired.
At this point I'm probably gonna change to another antipsychotic since it's not totally helping my mood or maybe try buspirione first, since it worked for me as a secondary drug before, then maybe add something else. I'd go back to lamotrigane at a lower dosage but I fear having another allergic reaction to it. The first one scared me so badly and I ended up in the hospital temporarily, then had a panic attack that led me to the hospital again within the same month when I had to cold turkey due to the reaction. I'm almost ready to give up on meds, but you really can't do without them when you're bipolar. It's just that I wish the ADHD, autism, and bpd shit didn't interfere with the bipolarity to complicate everything. I'm really messed up by this combo of disorders colluding in one mind.
No. 1913953
>>1913947Forgot to add I've been on generic abilify for roughly a month and I'm getting more crying attacks than I used to on lamo. I just feel very flat and low energy, and it's lessened overtime, but it's intrusive. Lots of body and muscle aches. Sensory zaps. My wrists hurt and itch. It's like I'm allergic to everything I take god I can't win
For the record I'm a former self harmer so I wonder if my increased sensitivities are related to nerve damage
No. 1914306
>>1913960AYRT and yeah, mentally checking out is closer to what I wanted to express. I feel like those stereotypical husband-wife jokes with me being asked what am I quietly mulling about in social situations, saying "nothing", people concerned I must be discontent with something, and there's just like this blank thought bubble above my head with a fly flying around in it, while I'm just waiting to go home.
I don't hate people although sometimes I do hate sharing physical space with them if I'm low on masking energy.
No. 1914412
>>1914379>Anyone have any thoughts on Devon Price. A tif and autistm(?) activist.I wouldn't trust a tif to have anything of value to say honestly. They've already proven to live in a lulu-lala delusion land about their own selves, and they clearly actively reject actual science and logic if they're dumb enough to identify as trans.
>Recently wrote a article about self diagnosis being th future of autism.Proving my earlier point, she's retarded and not in the autism way.
No. 1914420
>>1914388>I can't say that I'm different from other women without getting attacked and called an nlogGirls and women who actually are different usually do not feel the need to say "I'm different and not like other girls". So when someone says it out loud it sounds like they're trying to assert their own self-image that they're somehow more special (sometimes to brag, sometimes to put themselves down). Why do you feel the need to say you're totally not like other women and can't relate to them? You ARE exactly like plenty of other women - some of whom also have autism. For some reason you don't want to count them as normal women because they're not the majority.
Imagine a blind woman going around saying "I'm not like other women" just because she's blind and that's an uncommon condition. It frankly sounds stupid and silly! Women aren't all carbon copies of each other, and most women know that. When you try to say you're different it makes people roll their eyes because you really aren't that different and just a normal variation of a female human! Hope it doesn't seem like I'm trying to attack you, I understand it's frustrating to have people dismiss your feelings.
But also yeah trans ideology IS insane nona, they LOVE gender stereotypes while pretending to be against them so they're hypocrites in everything they do. Likewise do old conservative people want you to be a feminine woman. But in general I've found average people really don't give a fuck if a woman is "masculine" and only those small (and loud) communities care.
Part of the reason you feel so alone and misunderstood is because women who are exactly like you have already made up their mind that they "can't relate to other women", like you. So they'll never even try seek you out, because they have already decided they can't relate to you. Have you ever stopped think about what things and ways you CAN relate to other women?
No. 1914466
>>1914448>So saying that you’re not like other girls is correct statistically.That is true for EVERY WOMAN ON EARTH. You have freckles, your pinky is a weird shape, you have gut problems - statistically you're a minority, heck even being born white means you're a statistical minority! "I'm special because I was born white" is statistically true.
>>1914457>and god forbid I see some things in my self as objectively specialso you do see yourself as "objectively special" rather than it just being a neutral difference. honestly you being overly defensive like this is supposedly a very female typical trait kek jk nona i'm not trying to start a fight i'm sure you're great
>even my own mother hated me and called me strange my whole life,nona I really hope you're getting the therapy you need to find peace within yourself to heal from this trauma, I wouldn't wish it on anyone.
But again nona - what DO you have in common with other women?
No. 1914474
>>1914468Yes and everyone chimped out at the original anon for the crime of “thinking she’s special”. Nor everyone is obligated to be positive in response to you. I guess were just dark sided unlike other girls owo.
>>1914466Right so there shouldn’t be any issue with her pointing out what’s most likely objectively true?
(owo) No. 1914483
>>1914463I swear the cock sucking shit has crossed the line. I'm tired of hearing about women sucking cock and being whores. You don't even understand the meaning of the word. It's the equivalent of a neckbeard that thinks he is special. An NLOG is a woman that thinks she's special and quirky and looks down on other women for wearing make-up or adhering to conventional feminity.
Saying that autism or being incapable to function socially makes you "special" is such a retarded take. I have pretty bad mental illness and not being able to take care of myself makes me feel horrible. "Special" should be something that gives you positive qualities that make you good at something or that make you fit into society in a certain way. Being so mentally ill that you can't perform normal tasks is not "special". It's literally an impediment
No. 1914517
>>1914483I am different from other women and it's not my fault I have to say the word different to express what I wanted to express, also at some point I had to start noticing that I'm "different" (Jesus I can already predict the responses I'm gonna get after repeating this word so many times) if i was being reminded of it every single day of my existence and I had to search over 5 years to find a FEW people who feel similar to me. Fuck off with the low iq female socialization, moralfagging and nitpicking words I just tried to communicate something that's a big issue because I'm misunderstood, I don't want to have to write a perfect polite post while painting myself as super humble and over explaining myself to the core because it becomes even more annoying. I wouldn't have to say this shit if places in this world where I can be easily understood and safe existed so I wouldn't have to get
triggered by the external reality and every other woman being in a way that I can't comprehend especially the realm of their masochism is one of the worst most horrifying things ever
(ban evading retard) No. 1914551
>>1914517I have no idea why everyone is ganging up on you. I also feel fundamentally different from the vast majority of women and I don't see why we aren't allowed to talk about it. I'm surprised autistic women aren't more in agreement with being different from other women. They're playing the semantics game in a way that seems mean spirited because you said something that offends them.
There's no reason to hate yourself just because you aren't a normie, aren't neurotypical, aren't standard. I have some female friends but I really don't feel a kinship to most women and feel like I have to walk on eggshells to not step on some unknown boundary. If women hate you and are mocking you behind your back it's impossible (for me) to tell, but men are really overt about it. Why do we really need to worship women just because they're female? The normie woman standard isn't healthy at all. I've been burned plenty of times by male-worshipping pickmes, too.
No. 1914772
File: 1709837921537.jpg (30.6 KB, 500x450, cat-peace.jpg)
>>1914551>I'm surprised autistic women aren't more in agreement with being different from other women.not to attack you but i find it funny when you guys say "i'm different than other women!" only to turn around and say "huh why am i different than these women?" like wasn't that the whole point kek
I think the moral of the story is to not assume all women (regardless of them being a 'tist or normie) functions and thinks like a monolith. Half of normie women feel special and different (as evident by all the nlogs existing), the other half feel they're pretty normal. Half of autist women feel special and different, the other half feel they're pretty normal despite the tism. It honestly just checks out.
No. 1919441
>>1919307This exactly. Other girls (and later even grown women) have outright told me that I don’t really count as a girl/woman. I’m not even particularly gnc in appearance or interests and I’m straight (and no I’m not a TIM either), so the autistic traits alone were enough to disqualify me from girlhood in other girls’ eyes. Boys either didn’t notice or didn’t care that I was weird so I ended up spending more time with them. If I was born five years later I probably would have identified as some flavour of notawoman.
I don’t particularly want to be different and certainly don’t base my identity and self worth around being NLOG but to say that there isn’t anything different about me at all and actually everyone is equally different UwU feels like a kick in the teeth. What was all that bullshit about, then?
No. 1921944
>>1921588I kind of understand what you mean when you say it’s dangerous, like it could lead to thinking you’re in “the wrong body” or medicalization or the gendie cult. But it is a real experience aspie women are having and it’s not happening in a vacuum. I think it’s good to acknowledge it. Because I read this Hendrickx book first and learned about gender ideologies second, it was like an inoculation. I knew it was normal for autistic women to feel and be treated differently from other women at times. Most of the time, it’s heavily implied by other people to the autistic woman that she’s different. It’s sort of thrust upon her. She might find herself having interests that are dominated by men, so her career might be atypical for women. She might like philosophy and end up in a philosophy forum— dominated by men. She finds herself in spaces away from women, not deliberately, but because of her interests and pursuits. Then she’s “complimented” for being different by men. “You’re like a man in a woman’s body.” Of course this is misogyny at work. Nonetheless, she IS different and people are noticing. Is it because we don’t or can’t follow social rules for women and end up outside of the woman bucket, and into the man bucket? Of course the man bucket is much bigger and more varied, being the “default” bucket. So I agree with you that misogyny is mixed into this whole thing, but also I think autistic women ARE different at least socially, and that’s why there’s a name for it. I think it’s ok and even healing to acknowledge that, it’s a particularly common and painful thing when you’d prefer to integrate with women and it’s harder. I do also agree that autists are prone to black and white thinking and vulnerable to the gender cult for that reason. My point is just, yes there’s a noticeable difference, but it doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with you. Women can be a wide variety of ways. And it’s totally normal for autistic women to struggle to fit into female groups.
On the rules question, for me small rules aren’t as important as overall predictability. I don’t like driving because I don’t know what’s going to happen, where I’ll park, etc. There’s something about having to think on my feet and react to other drivers that really bothers me kek.
No. 1922052
>>1921944>I kind of understand what you mean when you say it’s dangerous, like it could lead to thinking you’re in “the wrong body” or medicalization or the gendie cult. I was more thinking of men taking advantage of autistic women when they think they're "one of the boys" and "they don't even see me as a girl so they would never molest me". I have a couple of autist friends who are
victims of things like that. Of course the whole gender cult also plays into it. (I honestly think some predatory male autist troons do it in reverse too, they think "i'm totally not a man but a woman so if i molest other women it's ok since they don't see me as a man")
>My point is just, yes there’s a noticeable difference, but it doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with you. Women can be a wide variety of ways. And it’s totally normal for autistic women to struggle to fit into female groups.Yes exactly this! I think autist women need to learn that they're not actually that unusual even if they're different than the majority, but that their own view of what a woman should and can be is too narrow. They need to learn it exactly because they were told they were "different" their whole lives. Just like a lesbian isn't "more like a man" just because she's into women, she's just another normal different variation of what a woman is. Idk if I'm expressing it in a way that makes sense lol
No. 1923336
I'm burning out pretty hard, I feel overwhelmed. My work isn't even challenging, but just going to the office 5 days a week is making me lose the will to live. My colleagues are extremely nice and I've been kind of cold to them lately, because I also have my final exams and paper due soon, which I'm not doing great with (because I get drained at work), but it's not their fault. They've offered to help with the workload, but them doing my work while I'm sitting there is no help anyway, as I just don't want to be there, I can't work on my studies anyway.
It's also getting tense because my thesis is about our field of work and yet I never ask for their opinion or help with it, as I do not feel comfortable with it. I know they wouldn't consider it much of a bother to consult me on my work, but I really don't care about the quality of it, I just want to get over with it. They're all way too honest and proud of their work, so I know they would make a million suggestions to make it better, but I don't care that much. I'm just resentful because I feel like my job is "taking away" time from my studies and even killing my passion for learning, which was like my only consistent trait in my life until now.
Rant over.
No. 1923490
File: 1710355962085.jpg (63.6 KB, 750x1000, flat,750x,075,f-pad,750x1000,f…)
Sometimes I feel like being able to mask most of the time, but occasionally losing it is more damaging to my social relationships than just already having the first impression of like an awkward, unfiltered person and them learning to just sorta laugh at it.
I manage to play the motivated new hire who's in on the jokes, but then when I run out of energy on some days, I might say to something that "but I don't want to do that", which feels like a big no-no in office spaces, you always have to make up some convoluted bullshit about capacities and unfortunate circumstances, even if the one handing me the task is no more than a messenger. I can feel them stopping to try to process whether I'm being rude or joking or testing them, when it's just my honest sentiments escaping my mouth unfiltered, and I'm not even refusing to do the work. Then since I'm low on energy I fail to follow up with something to lighten the interaction or seem in any way enthusiastic. So then they think I'm pissed at them or something. It's so hard not to express my selfish feelings and lack of care for certain things and to be extremely hypocritical, sometimes even listening and validating the feelings of people who complain about the most mundane and minor task they could finish under 5 minutes drives me up the wall, like, get over it, it takes 5 mins. (to be fair those are not even the type of tasks I hate, I just get over with that shit instead of pushing it further down the list for days while complaining about how you'll need to do it someday, Judy).
No. 1923902
File: 1710378756516.jpeg (41.8 KB, 459x500, IMG_3597.jpeg)
That tfw when you were trying your absolute hardest to come off normal and had your internal filter at 110% to not say anything weird and what you get in response is “wow, you’re really tactless aren’t you?”
No. 1924504
>>1923902I wanna know what you said that set them off kek
Sometimes the attempt at "not being offensive" backfires because you're just being impersonal when you should be personal. Example, someone's dog died recently so you don't want to offend them by bringing the sad topic up. You instead try to be cheerful and talk about nice things, but instead it comes off as you fully just ignoring their pain without a care in the world. Example 2, you try to relate to their pain by bringing up your own dog experience, but this backfires because you're either rubbing it in their face how great your alive and breathing dog is - or you accidentally mentioned how much pain your previous dog was in when dying, essentially putting salt in their fresh wounds.
No. 1924876
>>1924819In that case I don't think you were at fault nona, they were just extremely politically sensitive people (in my experience those kinds of people tend to be super easily offended no matter the topic). Idk where you stand politically but even saying that will make them think you're saying it because you're rooting for him to win, unless you actually specify that you don't.
Remember that "good social skills" doesn't just mean to never offened anyone or never saying the wrong thing, it means you know how to save the conversation when you do say the wrong thing. That's something you can practice and get better at.
No. 1925099
>>1925058Honestly I'm planning to never work full time in my life. Luckily in my field working full time is very uncommon, the norm is more like 32 hours a week and less is not unheard of. I'm okay with making less money as long as I can pay for the basics.
Obviously if you work in a field that pays very little or doesn't allow part time contracts it's a lot harder, the cost of living crisis is no joke, but if at all possible I'd suggest looking into options where you don't have to work full time. And don't be afraid to branch out and try jobs that you wouldn't have considered before! Especially if you feel anxious around coworkers, jumping around different fields might introduce you to different types of coworkers that you feel more comfortable around.
No. 1925100
>>1925058>how do you autistic nonnas cope with the reality that you'll eventually have to get a full time job?I have a job, I just don't work full time lol
The issues you listed aren't due to autism but due to how others treat you, imagine finding a job where you do fit in and don't feel anxious. And further, not every job requires interactions with coworkers. You could be an author for example.
Have you considered getting an education for a job you'd actually enjoy? Sounds like right now you're just bouncing around odd jobs you can leave after a few months without an issue that you aren't interested in. I specialized in a field I like so going to work is pretty fun even though my aspie ass gets tired faster than a regular person (hence why I don't do full time)
No. 1925135
>>1925058Respectfully, life is what we make of it. I realized I wasn't cut out for full time work (40+ hours) a long time ago, so I diversified my income. If you don't want fulltime hours, you have to adapt and learn to overcome it. Look into other means of income; do you have any skills you can market online? For me, I do stuff on Fiverr, sell things on eBay and Depop, and I also do tutoring as well. There are a lot of ways to make money, especially in our age, we just have to be persistent, have faith in ourselves, and not give up.
No. 1925215
>>1925058I have a good hybrid-turned-WFH gig where I hardly interact with my co-workers. My manager is awesome and super sweet. She's aware of my anxiety so she helps me out during my overwhelmed moments. I've never disclosed my autism to my job because I knew that I would screw up my chances of finding a job. 99% of my conversations are through email so that helps. Dealing with upset contacts is the worst though. That's the trouble I get. I think that if you're able to work in your own space, it really helps to focus on your duties and tasks. I don't have to dress nicely, put on makeup, drive to the office, small talk with co-workers, etc. I like having a routine to follow each day.
Money is also a great motivator.
No. 1925595
>>1925058I used to prepare myself for serious jobs too. Ironically without intending it to become a job I ended up doing digital art commissions which is what I always loved, and luckily I get clients. I pretty much manage my own time and how much "work" I do per day. I've been doing this for 12 years now and I don't see myself doing anything better than that (job related)
I was horrible at school to the point that I dropped off when I was 14 and I could say that was the last time I had every day interaction with people, so I cannot even see how bad it would be for me working a normal job lel.
No. 1926250
>>1925135>Respectfully, life is what we make of it. I realized I wasn't cut out for full time work (40+ hours) a long time ago, so I diversified my income.So many capable working autist nonas have posted in this thread now, it's inspiring! There's such a difference in people who have given up before even trying, to the people who actually took charge to create a better life for themselves. I honestly believe your own attitude makes a massive difference, more so than having autism does.
I had a male autist friend (he was trash, we are no longer friends) who "couldn't" work. But he was fully capable of playing video games literally ALL day, even without food or proper sleep. He occasionally streamed the games as well, which if he wasn't an idiot he could have turned into an actual income that he enjoyed. Instead he just sporadically streamed here and there. It was frustrating to watch him complain about not being able to work when he literally had the energy and skills to take it seriously if he just wanted to. He could have taken like 1-2h out of the 18h a day he played games, or even done silent streams, and made that his job, but nooo that's infringing too much on his precious "hobby".
No. 1927934
>>1927918No one wants to be seem as "low" functioning because it basically means retarded to the average person, and being called a retard isn't nice tbh because it also hurts actual retards as in with downs. So therefore, it's better to delete the whole thing and use numbers which can also create stereotypes and mean basically the same as being categorized as "low functioning" depending on the order of the numbers and honestly regardless of the order of the numbers, one number will be considered "ideal" and the number categorized as the "bad, sad and retarded" number will be considered bad, sad and retarded.
I liked it more when it was just like, the spectrum? When I got diagnosed as a teen, I was explained that the autism spectrum was like a gardient line with different colors and that you could end up in any spot of that line, it depended of course on your functionality, but it was definitely better than being put in a box, it means you were basically your own unique case and that there's nothing wrong with you.
Is it useful for data recollection? Surely not, but I honestly think there's no need to release
all data if it will create more fakers trying to act like a stereotype based on a category that sounds logical enough or that will make people feel like they're less than others for being in a category that's considered "bad".
No. 1927964
File: 1710633298920.jpeg (604.5 KB, 1179x1500, IMG_3023.jpeg)
>>1927934>I liked it more when it was just like, the spectrum? When I got diagnosed as a teen, I was explained that the autism spectrum was like a gardient lineWere you diagnosed under DSM-4 or DSM-5? The level 1, 2, 3 system that came with DSM-5 replaced four separate diagnoses to become more of the idea of a spectrum. Level 1 replaced what was Asperger's pretty much I think.
https://www.spectrumnews.org/opinion/dsm-5-redefines-autism/ No. 1928243
>>1928124Happens to me most of the time. Is like the noise that bothered me stays on loop so I remember that it made me mad (can't explain it better)
Usually redirecting my attention to something else works but I would like to know too if there's a strategy to use when it doesn't.
No. 1928810
>>1927918I understand why people don’t like to be described as low functioning but it’s an accurate descriptive term for people too autistic to function independently. Any euphemism is going to end up as an insult eventually anyway so I wish we’d just pick a term and stick with it.
>>1927934I’m not a huge fan of the vague spectrum thing because like it or not, if you give us all the same label then people are going to put us all in the same box. People more familiar with the Rain Man stereotype of autism have assumed that my university degrees couldn’t be real because autist = retard, and I’m sure that people on the other end of the spectrum run into trouble with people assuming them to be more capable than they are because their idea of autism comes from the Big Bang Theory or BBC Sherlock. Categorising people based on support needs is necessary in order to be able to meet those support needs imo. I don’t know if the number scale is ideal but there needs to be
some categorisation.
>>1928719This is what I do, too. It’s what I was diagnosed with and it’s still the most recognisable term for many people.
No. 1928924
>>1927918Fucking hate it lol I also hate the "it's a spectrum" stuff.
You either have autism, or you don't. Making the definition broader is stupid and makes the diagnosis literally useless for everyone who needs it!
I'm a firm believer of "level 3" being actual retards due to other mental conditions - or indeed THAT being what true autism is, and then the "level 1" high functioning people being something else (aspergers was a perfectly fine separate label for example). I do not think everything currently called autism is the same condition at all (and that's ignoring tiktok fakers). If a person called level 3 who can't speak, can't understand being spoken to, drools and shits himself while crying and throwing tantrums if he doesn't get ice cream for lunch - I'm sorry but I just don't think his social issues have the same root cause as mine.
And just practically, what does level 2 mean? Is it clear to the person, to their family, to random people who are just told the person is "a level 2 autist"? I'd argue it is not clear at all what that means. Normal people don't even know there are 3 levels, or what each level means. Is it level 2 out of 5 or 10? Out of 100 like a pokemon? Level 3 sounds stronger and better than level 1, so many may expect it to be the higher functioning end.
The "spectrum" doesn't make sense to me either, becasue if you're able to classify people into smaller groups where everyone can get appropriate help easier then why not do that instead? Like if there's a group of autists who are all basically on the "red" part of the spectrum (all their symptoms overlap) and there are others who are instead of the "blue" part (other symptoms overlap) yet neither group has the symptoms of the other group - why are we assuming the cause is always the same? Why are they not treated as separate defined conditions? To me it reeks of the modern day need for "inclusivity" where everything and everytone has to fit into every group, lest it hurt someones fragile feelings! I feel like it's only said to be this wild spectrum because in truth it's a mix of many different separate conditions making it look like the symptoms are super spread out and varied on a surface level. But questioning someone's "identity" as an autist is seen as blasphemy and bigoted so we're unlikely to get any real studies soon. I feel the only way people on social media would accept a diagnosis split would be to call the different conditions subsets of autism, using hogwarts house-like groups so everyone gets to feel special for being in the "tiger house" or something kek
No. 1929234
>>1929009>Changing it just because "nazi doctor bad" is so fucking weird, it's not like using the name he coined was celebratory of him somehow.The nazis must be SO thrilled to potentially have retards be named after one of them huh such a good image, exactly how they want to be portrayed (for the autists: this is sarcasm)
If we did this for every "bad" person in history there would be exactly 0 things named after people left. Grab ANY man from history and he was probably very misogynistic, heck half of the women were against women voting too so we can't name things after them either. And as I like to point out to people who say the change was good - are you even sure the man who coined the term "autism" wasn't
problematic too? And to this day not a single person I've asked this had even thought to look it up. It did not at any point in their lives cross their mind that it would somehow reflect badly onto them if the guy who coined the term was a bad guy, because they aren't him nor is he relevant to their lives. Go figure huh
No. 1929736
>>1929009The worst part is that people now call anything "neurodivergent". Like, I teach, and a child from the school I teach at is obviously some very close to low functioning autist, but autistic is considered a slur, so now you have to say that someone is neurodivergent.
Which is like, okay, cool, but neurodivergency has BPD, NPD, Bipolar, Autism, Schizophrenia and so on. The child has to take meds because now he's listening to weird shit and feels like he's being persecuted somehow? But he was completely fine last year, sure, a bit awkward, he would mostly keep to himself and would talk to you since you're an adult, but I think that's kind of how it is when you're an autist that's surely getting a silent treatment from your classmates, it's not schizo shit, just insecure autist that recognizes patterns shit.
There must be a better way for autists to get classified.
No. 1929885
File: 1710776070468.jpg (37.43 KB, 720x600, 9qz3bidhmwb21.jpg)
trying to live a normal life and cope with adhd is so much harder than it should be. i'm trying to finish my degree and it feels like i can never take it easy, it's 120% or nothing. despite being on meds i have to prepare a lot for every class (shut off my phone, earplugs, cope with my surroundings distracting me or triggering my misophonia, take time to mentally prepare) and i can never have a chill study day aswell because if i don't go to the library where i'm surrounded by people and specifically sit somewhere where people can look at what i'm doing (to make sure i don't go on non-study-related websites) i am unable to focus.
all the mental prep and having to hold myself accountable every second just to achieve mid results is so draining, i feel so burnt out and i have at least another year ahead of me.
i really hoped that meds would take more of this load off of me but all it does is help me get rid of distracting thoughts and daydream less. which is good, but only so little. i'm jealous of anyone who doesn't have these issues, why do i have to be a retard
No. 1929891
>>1928124i do, and i'm jelly of your adhd friend because meds barely help me with it, if at all. i used to self harm over it, i also tried to DIY exposure therapy (awful experience, wouldn't do that again).
it's worse when hungry or uncomfortable in any other way so i try to make sure i'm fed and space out social interactions. i also eat separately from others, even my partner. gonna be honest it's so draining though that i don't know how i'll be able to live my entire life like that. i wish there was some sort of treatment for it, but the doctors and psychiatrists i've seen so far don't even really believe that it's real so idk.
sorry i can't help, but i hope feeling less alone is worth something.
No. 1930054
>>1929885are you me nona? i’m going through the exact same thing. i hope things get better for us. i think it helps to look up successful people with ADHD, it definitely comforts me, especially knowing people in real life. one of my professors has it and he has his life under control. even if it’s painful we will get there, it’ll just take longer and more effort. if you haven’t already look into accomodations.
>>1928124yes and it makes me ashamed. i lash out at my siblings for small things like laughing and i feel like a massive bitch. unfortunately my ADHD medications give me mood swings and make me more irritable
No. 1930116
>>1929891>i also tried to DIY exposure therapy (awful experience, wouldn't do that again).Have you tried real exposure therapy with a train professional overseeing it? Seems like you nonas have nothing to lose with trying it.
I don't think I have misophonia even though I have a strong aversion/fear from certain sounds, I've been told I do have it because that reaction isn't "normal" but idk because my aversion is justified imo… I do however have a few phobias that were helped A LOT by exposure therapy. Things I thought I would never ever be able to do without freaking out have gotten at least 70% easier.
No. 1932752
File: 1710968794639.gif (4.09 MB, 504x548, QmRzNkj6HutNudaP54fvSqNr71LxKS…)
Someone with my resources (loving parents, financial security) and opportunities born from these could've gone so far in life if I wasn't a completely introverted, obsessively introspective, anttention-deficit sperg
No. 1932768
>>1932706I don't know how many other people can relate to this, but I get exactly the same feeling. I've heard rejection towards other autistic people discussed as a specific autistic trait. Although sometimes as well as the frustration and judgment, I also get the feeling of like 'don't blow our cover you retard!'. I get worried that people will see a more obvious sperg than me and link my behavior to theirs.
Yes I am working on my internalized ableism and self-esteem, before anyone asks.
No. 1932817
>>1932661we're all autists here and i still frankly do not know what the different levels mean in real life
>>1932706In a weird way nona, that means you can now recognize the social flaws you had before without knowing them back then. Instead of being annoyed with them try to praise yourself for how far you've come.
No. 1932830
>>1932768I'm more like
>>1932804 and think "oh thank god I'm not the biggest sperg here" lmao and then if normies comment on the other person I seem really educated and compassionate when I explain it's probably a trait of autism and how that works kek
I once had a girl who studied to become a psychologist say something akin to "how do you fellow normal undiagnosed people feel about these neurodiverse traits we just heard about in the lecture?" and I felt so proud for blending in enough to not get spotted. Granted we were in a group but still kek
No. 1932873
>>1929234Asperger wasn't a Nazi but he did send children to die. There were other researchers who weren't as awful about disabled kids when he entered the system, but those people were pushed out and he collaborated with the regime. I still think cementing him in history while he contributed to the deaths of children through naming the diagnosis after him is bad.
>are you even sure the man who coined the term "autism" wasn't problematic too? Not sure what others would say, but there's a difference between an awful man coming up with a term versus naming something after him.
No. 1933382
>>1932873>Not sure what others would say, but there's a difference between an awful man coming up with a term versus naming something after him.What's the difference to you? Out of the two my initial feeling is that if an awful person named something I'd reject that more than someone else deciding his name should be used for retards. I wouldn't be opposed to aspergers being renamed though, as long as it does not involve the words "autism" or "spectrum" as I personally feel that's really a separate condition.
>>1932930>It is in the DSM but idk what country you're from. Level 1= mild level 2= moderate level 3= severe. My country does not use the DSM as standard (I think we're adopting it though, and local tiktok spergs have adopted it fully from english speaking social media). And this doesn't answer the statement
>>1932817>what the different levels mean in real lifeWhat is mild VS moderate? When is it severe? If you're severe in one area but mild in another (on this supposed "spectrum") does that makes you mild or severe, or does it even out to moderate?
No. 1934014
>>1933382Ayrt on this statement>>1932930
So generally, the levels are separated with two categories, social communication and restricted and repetitive behaviors. This was implemented in March of 2022. But here's what level 1 and 2 an be different in many areas including independent living, social communication, sensory sensitivities and rrb's (restricted and repetitive behaviors). I would like to state due to my social communication being level 2 and everything else is level 1, and having a twin sister being level 3, I can explain those very well. That being said, I used to be diagnosed with kanner's autism or what they called classic autism/autistic disorder, and they updated my ASD diagnosis to level 1, but they did mention my social communication challenges being moderate (this was before split levels)
Social communication level 2:
>I have a limited understanding of social cues and body language.>I cannot understand nor learn any social cues, despite being in social skills training before>I have odd communication styles such as walking away mid conversation and not responding to communication>I have markedly odd facial expressions, to the extent where it causes misunderstandings and even worse, somebody to blow up on me>I struggle with back and forth conversation and developing friendships>most times,I only want to talk about my special interests>I have a noticble communication style; my report called my speech idiosyncratic>you have to communicate to me like I'm 12>I don't understand language well at all this includes sarcasm (generally when somebody else is), hypothetical (sometimes), idioms (often) and rhetorics (often)Level 1 rrb's
>I have rrb's but they're not as severe as level 2>I might stim every now and then, but it's very slight>I might get stuck on a topic for a while, like other level 1's in this area>I rock while standing, and pace but very rarely does somebody mention it>my special interests don't dominate as much of my life as my level 2 friends does>I have plenty of special interests like automobiles, sonic the hedgehog, conspiracy theories, and a damn continent idk why >I do have sensory issues, but they're not as severe as they used to be>certain textures, sounds, and smelss and other senses do bother me but not as much as higher levels; I am usually not comfortable but I don't melt down like I used to.Independent living (both level 1 & 2):
>level 1 generally don't need continued support, some do. They're generally able to live independently>level 2 might or may not be able to live independently. Some do, some live semi independently with group homes or a carer nearby them>both levels have people needing help them with life skills but often times, more level 2's need help with ADL's both need help with iadls>adls are generally stuff like bathing and toiletting while iadls are shopping and cookingI'll add a part 2 to this as well
No. 1934685
>>1934014Thanks for writing it down nona! But all this is doing is making me even more sure that having levels is stupid and shouldn't ever have happened. Especially when you say things like
>"but I don't melt down like I used to">"they're not as severe as they used to be"I feel like surely the levels should be solid and more or less unchangeable, a constant condition and not a temporary state. It seems odd that symptoms can go from having a meltdown (really bad) to not having them (virtually or literally non-existent). Right now from your experiences listed it seems like a person can potentially be trained/grow out of an autism level. I'm not able to say exactly all the complications that arise from it, but even just on a gut instinct that feels like a massive red flag.
No. 1935286
>>1934685Ayrt. You're welcome! Just BTW it's not like I agree with the levels classification either lol. Tbh it's not really clear on what can be determined a certain level but also it wouldn't make sense for me to be like "I had kanner's autism when I was very young and now I have what is considered aspergers"
Also
>I feel like surely the levels should be solid and more or less unchangeable, a constant condition and not a temporary stateI had early intervention so that could've been the reason why I became more mild over time, as I was diagnosed with classic autism at 2 years old. There's been an instance of a girl who was once nonverbal and also with early intervention became more mild.
And from what I've read from some higher support needs autists, some of them can regress too. There's a woman that was moderately autistic and then became severe. There's also a type of autism where one can experience regression. I think with the changing in severity is it happens within a years time period. You may be different from childhood (0-12) from adolescence/teenagehood (13-19) than when you're in your adulthood. Even then, you're always autistic.
No. 1935511
>>1935404Yeah I figured. Does anynonnie know how it is decided that you are so autistic that you qualify for disability? Is it just a matter of fact of finding a doctor who agrees and signs off on it?
>>1935406 I misspoke. My moms are pretty much giving the signal to me that I’m ruining their retirement by living with them and want me to fuck off and get some income.
No. 1935517
>>1935511You need a history of disability so ideally you'd be going to a doctor or psychiatrist for a while or building a paper trail now
You'll also be interviewed in person and they're pretty judgemental and brutal
Theres government websites with better instructions on how to apply and what to expect
Don't let them bully you into taking your entire check
No. 1935528
>>1935517Last year I had a pretty bad autism induced anxiety attack and ended up in a psych hospital for a few weeks which is when I fell into full neetdom. I was originally diagnosed as autistic by some kind of school psych in middle school but my current psych is telling me I need to actually get entirely re-diagnosed which sucks but hopefully this will help my case. Thank you for the info
nonnie.
No. 1936304
File: 1711212526271.jpg (155.5 KB, 600x381, just-pondering.jpg)
Question for all autist nonas.
I have this somewhat "controversial" opinion which is that I don't hate people who are working towards "erasing" or "curing" autism. It's quite obviosuly not about killing living autists, nor does it come from hatred for autists. It's really just coming from a place of wanting to erase the struggles of a group people. Just like how someone who is advocating for the erasure of cancer isn't saying the solution is to kill all people sick with cancer.
So the way I see it is that even if I don't agree with their methods or think they won't work (like a religious person might think praying away the autism is the solution lol), I still see these people as on our side. They're still working towards helping autists, to not suffer from their autism. And even if it doesn't work, it's good information to have that it doesn't. Like if someone says "eating a gluten free diet cures autism" and we try it and it does in fact not cure the autism, at least we then know that for sure now! The more info we have, the better.
If I say this online I get virtually lynched by people who call themselves autistic (they're always seemingly very high functioning, sometimes open about it being a self-diagnosis) because they essentially think these people are wanting to erase their entire personalities by erasing autism, or saying that it's straight up genocide to want to cure autism. "Nobody even asked us if we want to be cured, and we don't!" is something I see a lot.
Yet when I talk to autists in person, everyone seems to agree with me. About 9/10 say they would take a magical hypothetical cure that erases their autistic struggles, or makes them easier.
Even the 1/10 ones who are content and have accepted their autism to the degree that they wouldn't choose a cure even if it existed, they still say that they think it would be good for the option to exist for the autists who do want it. So maybe I'm being needlessly cynical but to me it seems true autists would happily be cured, and fakers just like to be outraged about a fake "autist genocide" online. But if you disagree I won't say you're a faker or anything, it's just the way my mind is currently leaning on the topic. Thoughts? Would you want to be cured?
No. 1936311
>>1936304It would be amazing if there was a cure for autism, even if I couldn't get it, I wouldn't want anyone else to go through the shit moments of autism which is basically every waking moment in life.
Like what's even positive about being autistic? I can't think of something that's actually nice and that I would feel sad if I were to stop experiencing it. Like, let's say that yeah, it's sad if you're a savant and you somehow lose your capabilities of being the best at some hobby or whatever, but that's it, and at least I don't consider myself a savant at something, so I honestly wouldn't mind not being autistic.
I don't even have a super special interest that occupies my brain 24/7, maybe having a husbando? But I don't drop millions on husbando merch or the sorts like how autists with special interests are supposed to.
In the end, I don't think it's a bad thing to try and actually find a way to "cure" autism, I guess what I wish is that there was a way to fix the crossed wires in the brain before the kids have to go through the shit I went through as a kid that didn't know how to mask properly and that was a sperg.
I also think that true autists that are "proud" are just either savants or coping, there's nothing to be proud of, it's embarrassing and tiresome.
No. 1936328
>>1936304I can see why people would jump on anyone saying there needs to be a cure, because I can imagine that for a lot of people who were early diagnosed (ie. had very apparent struggles very early) their environment might have tried to cure them in a less "opt-in" manner than oh, try eating clean, and done shit like "I'll close you in this room unless you stop acting so autistic". Obviously those people aren't really looking for effective cure and are just annoyed at having to take care of an austistic child, but they'd probably also say they're pro-cure autism.
I agree with your feelings otherwise, I don't think autism make me special or quirky, or gives me a
personality, it's something that makes me connect with the real world and real people infitinitely difficult. I wouldn't worry that my brain being rewired would make a different person, because obviously it would. Any permanent shift in someone's brain chemistry can make them a different person any time, but maybe finally I wouldn't feel like I exist in some thick glass box that distorts everything.
No. 1937324
File: 1711290416029.png (116.77 KB, 1263x634, chrome_L2q1Y6hxW6.png)
>>1936446I think you and I share a similar fallacy where we think of normal people as a sort of healthy baseline to leverage your shortcomings against.. but thats just my guess.
the more smart, talented and great people ive met in my life the more i realized that nobody has it all. i have incredibly well raised, good hearted sucessful friends that are struggling to not be influenced by the media about the way they view the world, being seriously tone deaf to things that are crystal clear to me (like that some women love to cook and have kids, as if they dont exist)
i seroiusly do believe that tons of incredibly sucessful people had clear signs of having ADD of some sort, like Albert Einstein was as messy and forgetful as he was intelligent and insightful according to many of his colleagues.
To realize that having a very broad spectrum of function where you spread your effort equally vs a more extreme pull towards something you truly are interested will be incredibly beneficial when you manage to implement it into your life in a sustainabe manner.
On another note I was in youtube comments yesterday and Ive read one of the most insightful conversations I did in a long time, a person was trying to explain to some kid why ADD and similar disorders were, in university level research, strongly linked to a turbulent childhood and neglect. I shall read more into that cause in my case it makes perfect sense
No. 1937353
>>1937344oh my god, thats insane. that makes a ton of sense. its funny how economic stability has such an impact in our modern world.
I have been on add medications for about a year now and ive been able to think way more clearly about numerous things, its kinda difficult to stop the flood of realizaions and apply the wisdom onto yourself (i.e not blaming yourself or your parents for your shortcomings but realizing that the envoirement that you AND your family had no control over caused them to happen)
another thought ive been working on is that our perception is kinda skewed in the sense of if you know you have no control over the past and what happened to shape you its much easier to just accept it as fact and not work on changing.
the future has the potential to impact you just as much but thats an active path that will cost effort, sweat and uncomfortable feelings sometimes.
the learned helplessness you adapt during critical years of your life can be your biggest enemy when you end up in a situation where you have the tools to change everything and not loose yourself
No. 1937381
File: 1711293941936.jpeg (332.85 KB, 1914x1316, WetbBo1.jpeg)
>>1936446>Most incredible artists and creators of new inventions are normiesI guess it's all based on how you define normie, but I would hesitate to say this. There's definitely a trend of mental illness or neurodivergence among creative types. I can also attest to this being in the creative space myself that a lot of people are "off" in a sense.
No. 1937498
>>1936304Unpopular opinion but I wouldn't take the cure even if my autism has caused me a lot of suffering and still makes me feel a little alienated from normal life. I'm just too used to being like this, I've built my whole life in such a way that I can live comfortably, I have my career thanks to being able to obsess about a single issue for 10+ years. I wouldn't want to have a normie life with family and friends. This opinion is probably the result of being an outcast my whole life, and if I was normal I likely wouldn't wish I was autistic.
As for doing research for a cure, I think the opposition often stems from misguided attempts that have mainly a cosmetic effect, like teaching high functioning autists to look people in the eyes so that they seem more normal, which can raise very negative feelings in some autistic people who see that as superficial and irrelevant. That, or looking for medications that often end up being just sedatives that cull meltdowns but may have grave adverse effects etc. I think "curing" autists should focus on the actual tards and helping them learn skills that could actually improve their quality of life. Autism seems to be a very complicated condition anyway, so I don't see a miracle cure coming any time soon.
No. 1937503
>>1936446Alan Turing was a mega normie who would probably be making Marvel movies now and collecting funkopops.
>>1936304There is no "cure" for autism especially low functioning (if we're counting them as the same now) because it is variation in brain homeostasis just as there's no cure for elevated blood sugar at birth and blood pressure. Human variation is not a problem if it's minor like Asperger's existing. High functioning autism is simply variation in brain function, most people don't have it, hence why they are dogshit at logical thinking but violent males are misdiagnosed for biting people and women are gas lit into thinking they're abnormal for not sucking the teet of patriarchy. Low functioning mental retardation on the other hand would be a godsend to cure or global developmental delay (GDD). Not that anyone cares about the mentally retarded, you said it yourself "high functioning" autists if they even are autists need an excuse for attention distracting support away from actually mentally impaired people with GDD.
No. 1937590
>>1937426>>1937381I'm sorry but this is frankly a cope. Everyone is mentally ill in some way at some point in their life. It doesn't mean they have literally debilitating adhd or are an autist. Being depressed and creating a blue painting that gets popular 100 year after your death also imo isn't the same as drawing up and building the pantheon or matsumoto-jo. Neither is being slightly off or quirky enough for it to be a literal mental disability, which is what autism and adhd is. Normies aren't all straight suits with no personality with a monolithic way of thinking. I get it's hard to accept our disabilities can make us "less than" but it's certainly not helping anyone to pretend we're instead "more than" and amazing super humans just because one in a million autists happen to be a savant in their field.
Wikipedia isn't a useful source btw, they'll call a child serial rapist "she" the second he says he's a woman. They have actively deleted and hidden pages that make troons "look bad" - and a ton of those nerdy programmer people are also neurodivergent and have an agenda to make themselves out to be tortured geniuses too. There is no proof anyone from history was or wasn't diagnosable with a disorder. Even the very image you posted has a warning sign that says "this article needs more reliable medical references".
No. 1937885
>>1937590>it's certainly not helping anyone to pretend we're instead "more than"wut?? No part of my original comment stated that autists or lunatics were more special or creative by virtue of their autism/lunacy. I just pointed out the link between creativity and mental illness (not even autism anyway) which has been studied. Being an autist doesn't make you talented by default kek.
>a blue painting that gets popular 100 year after your deathExhibit A
Not addressing the second part of your comment since it's so beyond the scope of the point I'm trying to explicate.
>>1937418How can one accurately test for autism if it's based on one doctor's impression of a person? Are there physical markers? Who can accurately distinguish the nuance between social pragmatic communication disorder and ASD? Everyone needs a label for everything these days. And no, I am not a """faker""" I do have diagnosed ASD.
No. 1938408
File: 1711370415858.jpg (65.14 KB, 800x442, acting shocked.jpg)
>>1937941The "you have to be what you act" is stupid imo, it's called acting for a reason. What the "only autists can play autists" and "you can never act it as accurately as a genuine autist because they experience it" "it's offensive to pretend to have autistic traits when real autist actors exist" crowd really hasn't though that shit through imo. Imagine you want to realistically portray an autist having a meltdown from being over-stimulated by blinking lights and sounds. Internet mob then demands you use an actual autist actor. Your options are then:
A) use an autist who has those sensory issues, meaning you cause them an actual fucking meltdown (or come close to it).
Or B) chose an autist actor without those sensory issues who doesn't know what that kind of meltdown feels like, meaning again you have a person acting out issues they don't experience themselves - so then a non-autist actor would be on an equal level.
Or choose A + stunt double… meaning you still use an actor without those autistic issues to portray and "act autistic" on their behalf - and we're back at square one again where an actor is pretending to have autistic traits they don't have.
Imo it's not offensive to play a retarded person (of any kind) accurately if it's not done with malicious intent. People like that exist, and in some cases they are incapable of consenting and understanding what acting is and thus wouldn't be able to fulfil the role. An autist who was genuinely on "rain mans" level wouldn't be able to play or understand the role. I don't think the "right" thing to do is to never ever have people like that in any movie and pretend they don't exist. Actors can help respectfully bring them and their stories to life. It kinda pisses me off when people say their portrayal is offensive by default.
No. 1938431
>>1938409>>1938414The character of Raymond in Rain Man is based on Kim Peek, who was not autistic but had some other kind of developmental disability. In the movie he is said to be autistic, though, and they made the character have more autistic traits than Peek irl had.
It's actually funny imo that Rain Man is considered "bad autistic rep" these days, because I always sort of related to his character. I'm not actually retarded intellectually and I can live independently, but there are some things I recognize in myself especially when I was younger. Like the rigidity with time tables, foods, clothing etc., obsessive reading of books, and the way people react to his savantism. I'm no savant but growing up I had a good memory and I was a perfectionist, so I got nearly perfect A's at school in a school system that was pretty strict. Whenever we had had an exam the results would be broadcasted out loud and everybody had to pick up their exams individually from the teacher in front of class, and there was this sort of almost circus animal-like thing going on with people shouting bets when I picked up my paper ("she's done it again, A+! A-!") and while it sometimes felt good in a way because ofc I wanted to get good grades, it was also weird because at the same time I was getting bullied every day and cast out of the group by the very same kids. The sort of feeling of being treated as a comedic relief. Of course, Raymond in the movie's portrayal would be too retarded to realize this, but watching the movie I related to those parts a lot.
No. 1938527
>>1938468>I know I'm not part of the group who claims to be autistic for "clout" but I can't stop thinking I will be dismissed because of that.From what I've seen it's kind of the opposite, the people doing the assessment aren't judging fakers and are more typically unaware of how trendy it is online. Of course this depends a bit on country, but rather than that they've been indoctrinated by the "identity movement" and are heavily inclined to affirm whatever you want/think about yourself without question. So your biggest issue wouldn't be them dismissing you but rather to misdiagnose you with autism even if you don't have it.
I'd say go for it, but be wary of what they say and do not take their words for gospel. I'm inclined to say having an older more experienced person do the assessment is more trustwrothy than a younger person. But that's still no guarantee. Imo if they use the term "aspergers" they tend to be more knowledgeable as they learned about it before it got trendy to fake it, and it means they've stayed away from
toxic online communities who say the term is evil nazi speak and have been spreading misinformation about autism for at least a decade. It's also a hint that they work with real life autists, as most adult offline spergs still use the term aspergers and are unaware of the online discourse surounding the term.
No. 1939200
>>1939180yes, i get upset because people love to prank me and tell me random lies all the time and i fully believe them KEK i was like this as a kid too. i still can’t understand jokes or when someone is making fun of me.
to add, did anyone else with ADHD have a hard time learning basic life skills? i didn’t know how to tie my shoelaces until middle school and i couldn’t use a combination lock so the principal gave me a retard lock with an easier code. i still don’t know how to ride a bike or swim. it took me longer to figure out how to keep my room clean and learn proper hygiene too. i don’t understand how anyone didn’t see the signs or atleast try to help me
No. 1939239
>>1939200Yeah I have ADHD and I didn’t learn to tie my laces or tell the time until I was about 12. The teachers use to say I had trouble holding a pencil too, even though I didn’t think I did. I just didn’t hold it like the other kids did. They made me write with one of those horrible triangle ones. I didn’t learn to read until I was about 8 either but when I did I quickly became a very good reader for my age and I still love reading.
Weird thing is I learned how to ride a bike without training wheels when I was like 4? For some reason riding a bike was the one exception and I excelled at that. I might have dyspraxia as well.
No. 1939277
>>1939249>I know a lot of autistic women who are very good at masking and were only diagnosed after a mental breakdown or suicide attemptI'm not trying to invalidate them but… how do you know they were really "masking autists" and not just people who had a mental breakdown that made them seem autistic in the aftermath or from their ongoing mental illness? NO ONE can mask so well there are no signs; for example a well masking person will appear put together when they're out but then you visit their apartment and it looks like a truly filthy mess. They won't magically happen to be good at masking AND taking care of their home. At that point you're frankly just a functioning person who doesn't qualify for autism to begin with. Autism isn't "quirky brain that functions in a different way" it's a medical condition where a set of traits negatively impacts their life. If the traits aren't at the level of negative impact they're just a quirky normie as no autistic trait is exclusive to autism.
>my own issues were dismissed for a decade because I had good gradesThis is more common, being book smart but shit at practical things is textbook aspergers/autism yet it's overlooked for some reason.
No. 1939718
>>1939577>to me as an adult "masking" still means more like "not rocking like a retard in public and not having tard rage" rather than "appearing normal" and I have people routinely imply or tell me right in my face that I seem odd and I just can't figure it out, like what am I supposed to do to appear normal?Honestly this is a much more accurate depiction of what masking really is, the (sometimes accidental) fakers however think "acting normal according to societal rules that I secretly don't really like so it makes me tired" is masking when in reality the fact that they CAN do that because they do in fact know and pick up on the rules easily is what makes them normies in the first place. And what
>>1939630 is saying only confirms that imo.
>After that conversation he started doing more stereotypical autism things that the tiktokers like to show off, like rocking, when he had never done that before.If you're brave and autistic enough to not care about potential backlash you should point it out. Say things like "Why are you rocking like that? You used to not ever do it? Why are you copying tiktokers like that, it looks odd. Are you trying to look like you have autism?" You can always blame it on being a blunt honest autist who didn't know it was offensive kek
At the very least you could tell other coworkers behind his back about your conversation and how he started literally acting fake-autistic after that and tell them your theory.
No. 1939871
File: 1711492230804.jpeg (8.93 KB, 360x360, GBHq6DeWAAA5QwS.jpeg)
I don't know where to put this, but I have ADHD. A certain youtube channel that specializes in featuring people with mental conditions recently featured a woman that was misdiagnosed for years and turns out she's an autist. I related so much to her story like I do with a few people they often feature. I thought nothing of it until I realized she was local to me. I reached out to her in dms because I desperately want local/irl friends but I don't know how to continue the convo or show I'm interested because I overthink literally everything and social conditioning has fucked me in the worst ways.
How do some of you nonas navigate making friends? How much is too much? Because I hate being the "has to reach out every time" friend.
No. 1939896
>>1939871>I hate being the "has to reach out every time" friend.I relate to this because I've experienced a lot of relationships where I think I'm the person that always reaches out first, so I used to think the other person didn't care for me. Although this can be true in some cases, i.e., unequal (or "fair weather") friends, during a counseling session I learned something: If Person A always reaches out to Person B, B usually just expects to hear from A first and so waits for that initial contact, not out of malice or disinterest but out of habit. When A stops reaching out to B, B will often assume A is busy, lost interest, or needs some alone time, so doesn't reach out. If the people you call your friends genuinely enjoy talking to you, have good conversations, agree to go out, they probably do consider you a friend! Even if they don't reach out first, it's just the dynamic that's been built and habitually kept between the two of you. If you want them to speak up more in your friendships and plan things, you've got to be up front and tell them "Hey, I always organize events! You should organize one for fun!" and see how they react.
>I'm interested in making friends with her, how do I keep going?Just say you'd like to meet for coffee and a walk and see if she'd be interested, the worst that can happen is she says no, and the best that could happen is you have a new friend! I know it's easier said than done, but sometimes with anxiety we really just have to tell ourselves "I am being silly for overthinking this. I am being a silly goose." Once you make anxiety smaller in your head, it will seem easier to go out and do the things you want to do. We control our emotions, not the other way around.
No. 1940187
>>1940144First you'd need to likely ask yourself what other aspects of autism/adhd you think you have like
>>1940157 said it could be social anxiety, but eye contact is all three scenarios would likely feel the same so it's not enough to say i avoid eye contact therefore autism.
No. 1940196
>>1940144As someone without autism but extreme social anxiety, I agree with
>>1940157. I always look between people or at the random things in any direction away from their faces. I also have this dumb fixation on visual patterns and grids. So often, as I have conversations, I'll look for geometric objects and edges around me and keep mentally fixing them or drawing lines. Like those scribbles people used to do while talking on the phone. I must look weird from the outside, and maybe this sounds crazy for a few people, but I'm just very socially anxious, no autism as far as I know.
No. 1940376
>>1940028>I think people sperging about how Asperger’s is an offensive term while lumping everyone on the spectrum together has done more harm than good. I think that's how most autist sperg nonas here feel. It's how every irl autist I've met feels too. Well except for one guy who was deep into social justice warrioring and who also told me he'd sleep with his (
abusive) brother if he was female because he didn't think incest was that bad, so I don't trust his opinions on anything lol
>Admittedly I don’t think anyone has ever considered me normal but a lot of them probably thought it was just a personality thing.Same for me. I'd get "she's just a bit (insert adjective)" about a lot of things lol
Even though I certainly fit into the asperger label in many ways I still feel that if they ever narrow the criteria so just the most autistic autists (level 2-3 i guess) are now autistic, and I would fall outside of that, then I'd accept that. I'd just have to find help some other way, because I'd rather the people who need more help get it than for me to be able to call myself an autist. I honestly think that's the way to go in the future, we need a new word for the aspergers part of autism.
Gonna sperg too much (but we all know why kek) but I get so riled up by people who say those of us who use the term aspergers are elitist ableists who don't care about nor want to be associated with lower functioning autists. No, fuck you, YOU don't care about them! I care because if I get treatment from the hardcore autism team that takes away time and resources from the level 3 people who need it more than me. And if they try to give me help based on level 3 needs, that's REALLY wasted on me as I don't need that much. Neither of us are helped. Meanwhile the same exact group were the ones who thought SIA's retard-autist portrayal was "offensive" because THEY didn't want to see nor be associated with "retards". THEY're the ones who hate others for their disability level, THEY are the ones making it harder to get help for everyone involved.
No. 1940384
>>1940144Reminder that normal people look away and break eye contact 50-70% when speaking. I didn't know that when growing up, so personally when I as a teen learned autists were bad at making eye-contact I had this thought that "I'm going to be so focused and good at eye contact, I'm totally not even an autist" (I was in denial and tried to prove to myself I wasn't an autist) so now I have a habit of staring at people too intensely without noticing I'm doing it lmao
It makes people think all sorts of things about me, a lot of people think I'm confident because of it, but I'm actually really shy. Biggest downside is that men sometimes think I do it because I'm into them, but on the flip-side of that it makes men treat me better because they think I like them? It's like I give them a confidence boost lol
No. 1942178
File: 1711659825632.jpg (55.67 KB, 564x576, c1e0ecf032c8658e6f2cfed77345b5…)
I am so tired of hearing autistic men whine about how their biggest problem in life is not having a girlfriend. Like I get how hard it is to not ruminate but it's insufferable at this point.
No. 1942214
File: 1711661707884.jpg (149.64 KB, 736x981, b5f93ab4962c7d8731307d41501097…)
>>1942178their problems would be over if all autistic men by law were required to be neutered, and all special interests are redirected toward useful things like engineering.
No. 1942311
File: 1711666928465.jpg (80.44 KB, 736x736, 4c7c978e85adfb9e113cd8c14b0fd1…)
Saw an old documentary lately about the whole 'starseed children' era back when it was way more of a thing. Thought.. this'll be funny. Was a bunch of pushy and overbearing mothers who had autistic kids and refused to accept the diagnosis. Putting pressure on their young kids who seemed painfully fucking uncomfortable with that kind of attention and pretty much every aspect of what being a starseed entails according to the moms. It was basically a 'badly parenting my autistic kid in the 90s' documentary.
Teaching their kids that they're special souls sent to earth to do healing work and raise the vibration of the earth with their presence. Ok. Oh and to tap into psychic powers on fucking demand to put on a show for others.. hmm. For money.. ah. Pushing the kids to tell the camera about how they totally see lights and angels and spirits and their dead granddad and the kids are like.. uh? Scenes of them looking cornered by the camera and like they wanted the ground to swallow them up or for mom to stfu feeding them lines about how they totally see shit and can heal illnesses by laying hands on someone. Laying hands on grown strangers.. yeah autistic kids love doing that. Touching strange adults with some loud ass spiritual music playing. That's peak parenting right after an autism DX. Shove cameras in the kids face too. Damn I didn't know starseed shite lead there.
No. 1942318
>>1941339I always have to get others back onto the main topic actually. I think having to tard wrangle myself all my life gave me 0 tolerance for anything resembling sperg behavior coming from normal people. But then here, I've been banned for derailing 4 times kek. I used to attend a practice group for something at school and despite the struggle in order to get rooms and appliances on campus, everyone was always so distracted and we spent maybe 50% of the time doing the actual thing. I couldn't believe my ass was the only one with a diagnosis meanwhile these people had one brain fart and interrupted practice for 20 minutes doing retarded shit. I am perfectly able to comprehend the concept of fun but come on now… The irony is that I ended up dropping out of school because of my own inability to focus and derailed my essays harder than any Lolcow thread.
>>1942178My biggest problem in life is that there are women out there who date autistic men. Nonas scrolling by, if you are dating a man showing signs of autism, this is your sign to stop. It goes for other disorders too btw !
>>1942311Boomers who think I have powers are very funny. Hilarious even, I might just start a cult.
No. 1942587
>>1942342Not to drag up an old topic again but she reminds me of Kenna/cozy kitsune, and also about Jill/pixielocks. Like someone who is trying to appear autistic but they haven't quite figured out what levels of autism looks like or what they're aiming for. Is she trying to appear child-like and innocent with a conveniently trendy rainbow plush in her lap, looking off dreamily and shyly with big eyes?
Or does she want to act out intellectual aspergers, coming off as older, thoughtful and wise beyond her years?
Take all of this as tinfoil, I'm just enjoying myself kek - but again the way she speaks is almost exactly like Kennas in her "coming out with autism" video but even worse. It mirrors how a very small child speaks, but the actual words used prove she's at a much higher level intellectually than that. And her facial expressions are perfectly reflecting what she says, she is communicating perfectly for all I can tell. When she wants you to agree ("I really had autism") she looks at you, her eyes go really big and she nods lightly. She looks and sounds like someone perfectly mimicking/playing a child. She alsmost comes off as playing a wide-eyed disney princess. The child-like autists/disabled people I've met in person don't mimic or play a role, so they don't appear in the same manner. If you've ever for example met someome with downs syndrome (average IQ is 50), compare how they act/talk to how a child acts. It's clear that the social "flaws" don't stem from the same place.
It could be that she IS a high functioning autist who happens to like mimicking a child, but I doubt that's what she's trying to sell, I think she is trying to sell it as her authentic self. Watching this she seems like the kind of woman who has a secret onlyfans account where she does age regression. Or she's like Jill/pixielocks, and seemingly thinks acting like a child is somehow her true self.
Lastly comapre her to how she acts, talks, holds herself, use of hands and body language… in her own videos. It's a night and day difference. I really think she was intentionally acting when she was alone on the sofa to seem autistic (or if she really is on the spectrum, to seem way MORE autistic) than she really is, but that when she's interacting with another person she has a harder time keeping it up and goes back more to being herself because social interactions are quite natural to her.
No. 1943901
>>1942732Nta but I agree nobody on this thread wrote anything like that. However, on the "mental disorders you cannot handle" thread on this board, there was an anon on here that called herself a "retard hater" and stated only level 3 autists with intellectual disability are real autists. It rubbed me the wrong way b/c I know some autists with much much higher IQs (like 140's; mines upper 80's-lower 90's IDC if anyone here gives me shit about it lol) than mine who are level 3. It also dismisses level
2 autists and autists who have some moderate support needs in certain areas. Basically really screws over the low and medium support needs autists. I'm somebody who was diagnosed with classic autism and reevaluated at level 1 autism but my report states I have level 2 social communication deficits.this was before split levels too.
No. 1950539
>>1949146Perhaps this is weird of me, but the more fakers I see and the more I learn about social contagion the more I get parents thinking "labels" and getting a diagnosis for their child is bad. Putting words on a condition creates the condition, and that makes it real.
Anorexia virtually didn't exist in Asia until America came and explained what it was (in an attempt to prevent it) which literally created an anorexia epidemic in young girls. Yet the girls didn't "choose" to become anorexic or to have those symptoms.
I kind of wonder if autism is the same for us too. Were some of my symptoms acquired simply because at some point I was told about them? Would they not have existed or have been milder if I hadn't been told it's an autism thing that causes great distress in people? High functioning autists weren't even a thing until very recently, and now it's considered a real disability. Level 1 would just have been considered quirky but normal adults. Some parts of me are always wondering if I'm "faking" by accident, and that worries me not because spergs online would kick me out of their autism hugbox but because what if I created these problems for myself unknowingly? What if I could free myself of them if I only knew which part I was "faking"? If tumblr can turn thousands of girls trans, why couldn't they also have affected me enough to adopt autism symptoms I wouldn't naturally have?
No. 1951580
File: 1712313526448.jpg (31.97 KB, 564x559, anwyww.jpg)
I'm so fucking tired nonnies. I'm tired of autism and ADHD being quirky-fied. I'm tired of the loudest voices in the 'community' being self-diagnosed retards who made it their lives mission to argue about semantics like "nobody is actually high or low functioning!!!". I'm tired of the spectrum being so big you have people being able to hold a job and those who will never be able to sit down and eat a meal or talk having the same fucking diagnosis. I'm tired of the only thing people knowing about autism and ADHD is being either weird or hyper, and not the crying fits you have because you can't manage to just sit down and do an important assignment or sleeping all day because existing day to day in the modern world is so exhausting.
No. 1951768
File: 1712325447221.png (Spoiler Image,923.81 KB, 781x792, this is not fine.PNG)
It started as a self defense mechanism, but now i can become indifferent at will. Both mental and physical discomforts sink into background as i marvel at my own indifference, be it untreated illnesses, societal pressure to maintain hygiene or alienation from other humans, nothing sticks. Ha! Normies and their inferior pain tolerance thresholds, amirite? Yup, feeling real smug here.
No. 1951830
File: 1712327493123.jpg (72.24 KB, 870x627, gollum4-1682945492.jpg)
DAE information hoard everything they can about something and feel the weight of learning collapse onto them and paralyse them to not learn anything anymore and procrastinate out of fear then drop it and not care about their physical condition to the point of exhaustion and questionable hygiene??
I went through ER for 10 days because i just ignored a lot of my pain and discomfort and got IBD.
Now, i look like even more like a greasy smeagol ffs
No. 1951977
File: 1712336919799.jpg (972.28 KB, 1080x1829, Screenshot_20240405-190329_Ins…)
"Autists" online bragging about how good they are at understanding the most subtle social hints of others (that most neyrotypicals can't even do!!) are either incredibly delusional or straight up faking autism. You just can't be disabled without the disability part.
No. 1951999
File: 1712338111299.jpg (117.64 KB, 1080x436, Screenshot_20240405_192213_Chr…)
>>1950539Nayrt but I think the difference is that anorexia, unlike autism, is something that you can acquire. As far as we know autism is something children are born with, and with hindsight you can see I
history many examples of people who would have been diagnosed as autists today. Same with anorexics, many saints and monks throughout would have what is considered anorexia today but for different reasons, religious ones. And because the reasons were different it's impossible to say, but it's unlikely that religious anorexia was a social contagion like modern anorexia.
In my own experience I started being bulimic when I was 12 years old when I learned what bulimia was, so you can definitely say it was a case of social contagion. Yet since the development of medicine in modern times so many illnessess and developmental disorders have been discovered and almost none of them behave in a social contagion way like anorexia, bulimia or gender dysphoria do.
It's an interesting question, however, it reminds me of "Resignation Syndrome" found in children of asylum seekers in Sweden I saw in a thread or another. Another case suspected of being a social contagion.
No. 1952979
>>1951999You can actually acquire autism though brain damage, after birth. Especially now that autism spans such a large area of disordered behaviour. I'd argue it's very rare, but not impossible. At the moment there's no genetic proof of autism (such as with downs syndrome you can check the chromosomes) so you don't technically have to be born with it.
I fully believe there's a large amount of people who "acquired" a pseudo-autism from social media. They're not fully faking it, but they wouldn't have had any symptoms without social media. Like how kids developed real tics from tiktok. I think plenty of autistic symptoms can be acquired though social contagion, and all you need is enough of them to meet the autist quota. Unlike for a "real" autist they could lose the symptoms again though. But since there's no rule that says they can't… at the moment they're just considered regular autists.
No. 1954430
I recently stumbled upon presentation that argued that autism rates are rising.
I previously dismissed these sorts of arguments as kooky and uninformed, as I more-or-less believed these common talking points:
>there are fewer missed diagnoses due to increased awareness
>there was some re-grouping of other diagnoses into autism
>many normal behaviors are being pathologized and diagnosis-chasers are becoming a problem
>changes in diagnostic criteria have given the false impression that prevalence is increasing
…But this video brings up some really good points that I haven't really seen discussed
>Autism prevalence is not just increasing with time. It increases drastically with birth year as well, and we don't see movement towards a more even distribution that we'd expect if older people had to "catch up" on diagnoses.
>The increase is massive, on the order of 20-55x.
>screening random population samples across age groups using consistent diagnostic criteria still yields this pattern
>Autism awareness can only hit 100%. As the level of autism awareness approaches that cap, the rate of increase slows dramatically, so you'd expect autism diagnoses to slow as well. However, the apparent prevalence of autism has continued increasing at a similar rate.
>The supposed genetic basis of autism is weak enough that it mostly indicates a susceptibility to environmental factors rather than things that directly cause autism
>The rate of diagnosis of non-autistic intellectual disability has not been decreasing
>Adults being newly assessed for disability benefits are being compared against the same diagnostic criteria as everyone else, yet their autism diagnoses are increasing by a relatively small amount (which is probably attributable to awareness/change in diagnostic patterns)
>Quite a few studies exist where female mice are exposed to clinically relevant doses of sevoflurane at various points in their development and the offspring (and even offspring's offspring) have sexually dimorphic epigenetic abnormalities resulting in neurodevelopmental issues. Even if this is not the culprit, it is still significant proof that exposure to certain chemicals can cause mammals to have autism-like symptoms in an autism-like pattern.
There's some points I can nitpick, and I think the presenters underestimate the power of social factors, but overall, this felt really eye-opening. Just anecdotally, it kind of "feels right" for me to believe that it is more common, as it mirrors my older family members' feelings on the subject, googling gives a lot of very official sources that just state this without qualification, and I personally feel like autistic-like traits are much more prevalent in younger generations and that this difference feels too fundamental to be chalked up to intergenerational cultural differences and forced masking.
No. 1954458
File: 1712475743891.jpg (136.76 KB, 960x712, autism rising rates summary.jp…)
>>1954430And because I can't help myself and most nona's are very understandably not going to watch a full lecture, here's a (long) quote that I found especially interesting. (1:15:18 in the video)
Questions:
>What in your opinion serves these researchers in diminishing the reality of the increase? What do they have to gain?>There seems to be a coordinated effort by many organizations across the world to deny the massive increase. What are your theories on why such strong denialism. Denial is often used to protect some from blame or to protect profits."E:
> I dunno about that, but I certainly have views on that. Dr. Zahorodny, do you wanna start?Z:
>The most constructive thing I could say is… All these questions are relevant and very important, and unfortunately, no agency or program in the United States has the [same] resources as the CDC to identify the potential risk factors and triggers for autism, and they've committed the most resources to identifying and to understanding this phenomenon, and yet we've gotten nowhere. I've been part of the ADDM Network since 2000, and so I was there at the initiation and across the development and enhancement of the network. I think when we started, there was true interest and excitement and surprise regarding the–first of all–high rates and the escalation of rates.>But somewhere after the third or fourth cycle, it became clear that there were no plausible ideas or hypotheses that the CDC felt compelled to investigate […] It would be much less controversial to acknowledge what is possibly responsible for a small increase in case determination–that is, better awareness. But it's uncomfortable to identify a phenomenon and not to be able to explain it. If I were to conjecture what a motive could be by some organization such as the CDC, I would be implying something in that direction. >In addition, in the Ivory Tower, for every creative, open individual, there are five to ten who are likely to repeat what is considered to be the standard wisdom about a about a phenomenon. And the explanation of escalating autism based on better awareness is hard to puncture once it's established because people resort to it automatically. And without there really being a well-identified set of hypothetical risk factors, it's just easier to retreat behind the concept of better awareness. >I've yet to encounter someone in the clinical field–that is somebody who works with developmental pediatrics, child neurology, child psychology, or serves children through the public education system–who doubts that this is a true increase. In my opinion, it's mainly people far up in the Ivory Tower, who've really never encountered a disorder like autism and feel threatened by speculation. The first wave of speculation in this field was concerning vaccination, and the vaccination hypothesis, though wrong, was very compelling on a number of grounds, and it was very distressing to the Centers for Disease Control to have that hypothesis out there. Once the hypothesis was debunked or failed to gather supportive evidence, no other contrary idea or hypothesis that was compelling enough came into the field, and so we're kind of stuck repeating the same the same pseudo explanations. […] E:
>I agree that there was a real backlash to the vaccine hypothesis, and people did not want to be seen as kind of condoning the idea of an increase in autism because they didn't want to fuel the vaccine idea at all. So, obviously, you can have an increase in autism without it being caused by vaccines–that's logically true–but nevertheless they were so scared of this that they really backtracked on that. >Second of all, autism has been shown to be very heritable, and there has hasn't been really any strong research showing that it's caused by these environmental factors such as the ones that Dr. Zahorodny just mentioned. So they figured, 'Well, it's heritable; it must be in in the genes somehow, and if it's genetic, it can't possibly have increased over time because our genes don't mutate that quickly, our genes don't change that quickly.'>Well, of course my argument is absolutely 100% our genes do change that quickly, but it has to do with how the genes are expressed and not with the nucleotide sequence itself. So that's a very important scientific principle that unfortunately has not been strongly injected into the mainstream of autism academia.>The other issue going on is the rise of the neurodiversity movement. So for ideological reasons, people just don't want to accept the increase in autism because the neurodiversity movement is premised on the idea that autism is natural and autism's always been here and it's an important part of human diversity. Well if you say, "Well guess what, there's a really toxic chemical (or two or three or four) that are actually causing this that subverts the now popular neurodiversity narrative. >The other issue is that there's incredible fear and laziness in the media. There is one media outlet that absolutely controls the autism narrative almost 100%, and that is Spectrum News, which which comes out of the Simons Foundation. Spectrum News is ideologically completely adherent to the idea that autism is genetic, and there is no true increase in autism. So, if you have that kind of heavy weight in the media that's so influential and that other journalists are not willing to do the homework to fight against, that will become the prevailing wisdom and that is what happens with the Simons Foundation, which is really really really unfortunate. I don't know a way to change that. It's like a walled fortress there, and they don't really want to entertain any ideas outside of genetics. It's really really- I can't tell you. I think it's kind of disastrous, actually. No. 1956812
File: 1712649431412.png (753.75 KB, 662x530, normanbates-axe.png)
I am constantly this close to shaving off my hair and the only thing that keeps me from doing it is the fact that a buzz cut looks more boring than my current hair style. I hate it when hairs touch my face, I hate the feeling of the wind catching my hair, I hate it! I keep my hair braided 24/7 but sometimes hairs escape and I just want to rip them right off my scalp! I do not understand how normies do these elaborate hair styles or messy buns or whatever and I don't even want to know.
No. 1956853
>>1954430>>1954458To what extent are the diagnostic rates increasing for severe autism/autism with severe to profound intellectual disability? Unless autism's a wastebasket diagnosis (idk) or people are only being exposed to x environmental factor(s) enough to induce mild autism, rates of severe autism should be a better indication of how much the rate of autism truly has increased because it's not really susceptible to overdiagnosis.
I'm skeptical that the huge increase is entirely or even mostly the result of an actual increase in autism, though I do believe that genuine executive dysfunction caused by screen time and shitty parenting trends in early childhood is exploding in prevalence and functionally similar to autism/ADHD/'audhd' so perhaps I'm just splitting hairs.
No. 1957336
File: 1712685631841.png (533.15 KB, 1808x1388, adhd-ocd.png)
>>1957216While obviously internet strangers can't diagnose you with anything, the chance is not insignificant. ADHD is highly heritable (I've read that there is about a 30% chance of you also having it if a sibling does), and it is also much more closely associated with OCD than most people realize.
>source: have ADHD, have a sister with ADHD, plus now my psychiatrist thinks I might have OCD as well No. 1957398
>>1956812Oh
nonnie I want a pixie cut really bad but then thing that stops me is that I would look like a sjw and of course the fact that I'm ugly and I would look like a boy. If I had a pretty face my hair would be short already lel.
I did have short hair when I was 13 ish and I can tell you is one of the most confortable things ever.
No. 1957500
File: 1712695830914.png (301.38 KB, 1080x676, humpneck.png)
>>1957398>I did have short hair when I was 13 ish and I can tell you is one of the most confortable things ever.God no! As someone who's had both long and really short I have to say short hair takes A LOT more work for me! If you want it to not look like shit you need to get it cut it every few months, which costs money (and time).
Your scalp still produces oil for long hair since it's the "human default", so if your hair is short your oil build up is a lot faster (because there's nowhere for it to go, usually it would keep spreading downwards). So your hair feels and looks gross and greasy a lot faster, so you need to wash it more often and use more products.
I also found that cowlicks from sleeping were inevitable. Long hair is just like… brush lightly and you're good to go, with short hair I had to actually turn on my styling tools and style it, or half my bangs would be standing straight up because I had rolled over in my sleep. When there's so little of your hair minor "flaws" stand out more.
It's also colder with short hair, and longer hair protects your skin from the sun, but that depends on climate of course. And lastly you better have perfect posture or your slanting vulture neck and hulking shoulders will be super obvious with short hair such as the badly edited picrel lol
No. 1957944
File: 1712740985467.jpg (88.63 KB, 1134x1118, 20240324_191507.jpg)
is anyone else in denial about being autistic? I want so badly for it to not be true but then I read other people's experiences or remember past memories that all point to it being true. It's like I was this close to being normal, but the part of me that isn't has made life very difficult and lonely
No. 1958120
>>1957944Kind of yes. I'm half-convinced I was misdiagnosed, but then I'll do some dumb shit that makes me seem autistic again.
But I think you should figure out exactly what parts it is you're sad about and what difficulties you face. Perhaps you can improve on them.
No. 1958265
File: 1712764412813.jpg (134.28 KB, 1063x1063, braid.jpg)
>>1956833>>1957398I currently have a shaved sides type of style (yes retarded zoomer hair style I know, but it's actually easier to make a nice braid that stays put in it. If I had a full head of hair the braid would disintegrate in an hour. Now it stays for up to a week.) Plus I get stimulation from touching the shaved parts, whereas without them I would constantly tug and rip at my hair, making it break.
>>1957500Nonny… It depends on hair texture as well. I happen to have very thick and frizzy hair that doesn't even grow past my shoulders before it starts breaking and looking extremely ugly. I also have an oily scalp, and having short hair doesn't affect this. I used to have a buzz cut and I would maintain it by cutting it myself every few weeks or so, easy. As I said, the only reason why I don't want to have it again is that I like the looksof my current hair more, picrel.
No. 1958693
>>1957944I was ok with it when I had the energy and the discipline to mask kek. Now I'm older and more tired I can't control it and I'm more weird and offputting by the year, I remember when I could mask better and I'm like 'I used to be normal, I must be faking it now, if i tried really hard I could go back to being normal'.
This line of thinking is actually another symptom of autism, because I have been told by a number of people that in the past, even when I thought I was being super normal and socially excellent, it was clear that something was weird about me. Even my idea of 'being neurotypical' is totally skewed. Fml
No. 1958701
File: 1712790544662.jpeg (25.4 KB, 325x406, Faux fur motorcycle vest - Eli…)
>>1956812depends how committed you are to upkeep but there's a ton of cool things you can do with a buzzcut
No. 1958714
>>1799558I don't think I've ever had schizophrenic symptoms but as a kid I would avoid eye contact at all costs because I thought that was how people could read my thoughts. People constantly seemed to know things about other people that those people never said out loud, and loved making eye contact, so that was how it worked I guess?
Even as an adult I basically act as if other people can see my thoughts because I can't control my reactions or facial expressions, so they might as well be able to. Every night I have dreams about people invading my privacy or personal space. I tried keeping a diary as a teenager and just ended up scribbling paranoid entries telling my mum to fuck off and stop reading lol.
She might have some obsessive intrusive thoughts about privacy and some confusion about social interactions, and this ends up spiraling into a mental breakdown.
No. 1959283
File: 1712853807563.jpg (17.87 KB, 500x461, 37f.jpg)
Kind of vent but I found out I got discriminated due my ADHD/ADD, so my work must pay me back the days I didn't work because the release was badly written. I don't care about the money and I'm happy that it wasn't because I was an ass, but now I'm unsure about my masking skills.
No. 1962874
File: 1713076244507.jpeg (26.24 KB, 601x510, 58D90C72-4641-4254-913B-6E830E…)
It has taken me three months to figure out my ADHD meds from a specific manufacturer do not work. I take them and literally feel no positive effects. Which is already bad but because my anxiety is treated I don’t have that to rely on for me to actually be productive. I have so much shit to do and no energy or drive to do it nonnies. I hate this. I know it’s ultimately my fault but this would have been entirely preventable if I just had the correct meds this entire time.
No. 1966221
I don't know how I'm gonna get a full time job and succeed. What are jobs well suited to socially inept autistic women? I was straight up fired from my last job because I wasn't social enough, they gave me the whole, "we're a family but you never want to participate in social events" spiel. At my first job, they kept shuffling me around because I am so bad at speaking to people they couldn't have me interact with customers. I mask so hard too, so if me at my bubbliest still comes off so autistic that my coworkers ask me if I have Aspergers at every job, what can I do? I'm fine with a career shift because I feel my current field is too social. I just hate workplace politics, I hate being friendly to people I don't care about, I hate small talk, I hate "building connections," I hate trying to parse unwritten social rules, pretty much all stuff you need to succeed in most workplaces. Do any other anons have similar issues, and if so, have you found solutons?
No. 1966301
>>1966221It's so hard to find a job that isn't overwhelming as fuck, I swear there's not such a thing as a job where you don't interact with people at all, you will always need to make relationships with people, ask them how they are and what the kids are doing and so on, and so on.
I think what we just need to do is slowly learn how to cope with all of this overwhelming stress, how to mask harder and basically create a whole ass personality.
There's no such a thing as a job where you won't get forced to interact with people and be kind to them, maybe translation if you're a freelancer but otherwise you need to always interact with someone and they will always ask you the most retarded shit ever.
You could also become a masseuse? You don't really need to talk while giving a massage, or pet grooming. I'm trying to think of different ideas that I've thought about for myself before deciding to create a hell for myself by becoming a teacher and yes, every single day I wish I was dead.
You could be a librarian, maybe, if libraries aren't shit in your country like in mine, or an editor/copywriter which also means minimal contact with people if they're not obnoxious.
No. 1966306
>>1966300Now that you're saying this, it's making me wonder just how high is the suicidal ideation of autistics/ADHD people? I particularly feel suicidal all of the time, every single day I want to kill myself because being kind of retarded (having autism) has made my life miserable in so many ways.
But we don't have a monthly day of autism/ADHD awareness day like trannies do, we don't have parades to demonstrate that yes, autistic and ADHD people are normal and not savant or retards like the media says, we don't have memorials as far as I know, we also don't have special laws saying that you shouldn't discriminate against people with ADHD or autists.
Is it that we aren't loud and obnoxious enough to be noticed? How do we even manage to become recognized?
No. 1966317
>>1966306The studies seem to vary on rates but in general most of them seem to say over half has had suicidal ideations of some kind. That is for specifically late diagnosed and/or high functioning autists though. Not sure about the rates for ADHD.
There IS autism awareness week but nobody gives a fuck about it. There's also the issue of increasingly self-diagnosed "activists" being the loudest voices regarding various disorders. And that group is basically a single circle venn diagram with TRAs so they won't help in that regard.
The one mainstream thing with autism at least I can think of is that love on the spectrum show but everything about that gives me the ick.
No. 1966349
>>1966326Well, something I've been doing is trying to specialize in something that only adults study. Right now I'm trying to absorb as much information as possible about aeronautics because I got lucky, I was offered this position because my English level is decent and everyone speaks like shit in my country.
By teaching adults you can even be a bit mean and keep the contact as minimal as possible so no one bothers you all of the time.
Teaching kids though? During my internships I was taking a daily dose of 1 gram of paracetamol because I couldn't handle the headache I suffered every single day after school, I usually cope by saying that it could be worse but yeah, I'm scared of having to go to some place early in the morning and hear a child or teen whining about bullying, or being asked for a hug every 0.5 seconds while listening to a bunch of people speaking all over each other, trying to follow multiple conversations, growing eyes on the back to make sure the dumb kids aren't trying to kill themselves with school scissors and going to different classrooms to change the dialog of the class every time because some kids of the same year don't understand the same things that the class of the other section and just thinking about this is making wish I could kill myself, even though it sounds dumb as fuck it's overwhelming and tiresome.
So yeah, try to find a niche so you can make yourself a need for some special business that needs a teacher for a particular reason, like, idk, C2 English for cooks or C2 English for lawyers.
No. 1966368
>>1966306> Nearly one in four women with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD or ADD) has attempted suicide, according to Canada’s Archives of Suicide Research study, which found that adults with ADHD in general are five times more likely to attempt suicide than are their neurotypical peers (14% vs. 2.7%)ADHD makes you feel like a failure, it’s 100x harder for us to adapt to the neurotypical world. my classmates are all ahead and i still feel perpetually 16. it’s understandable why we would have a high suicide rate when it’s harder for us to keep jobs and keep up with the basics of life. ADHD is so common yet so misunderstood especially inattentive. i wish there were more awareness for us instead of trannies self imposed “issues”. imagine how much we could succeed if there were enough resources for us
>>1966318yes i also enjoy trolling online KEK my meds make me more angry though especially the comedown from them
No. 1967097
>>1966301Ayrt and I considered librarianship, but it can be pretty social apparently, especially if you work in public libraries (and it pays like shit). I got into graphic design because I thought it'd be pretty solitary, but it's actually glorified marketing and constant meetings, so I fucked myself over badly. And freelancing is actually even worse because you have to market yourself and interface with people one on one all the time, even really annoying people. It requires so much patience and self directed work. I keep thinking about getting into programming or something like
>>1966238 mentioned, but I am so worried about working with trannies because I don't think I can make myself be nice to them. The thing is I can put on a sociable personality, but I have a strict 30 minute time limit before it runs out (just long enough for an interview) and then I need a break to recharge it. I'm working on making it last longer, but it's so difficult. I can't believe there are people who can get up every day and talk to their coworkers on purpose. It feels like the hardest part about work isn't even the actual work.
No. 1967133
File: 1713336288829.jpeg (32.36 KB, 715x429, IMG_2398.jpeg)
My ADHD is ruining my life. I went to school for a career that pays really well but has little skill transition and takes a huge amount of executive function. I struggled massively in my last job, but dug my heels in and put it down to bad management and culture. Now I’ve been in my new job since January. I love it, my teams are great, and I can see myself here longterm. I thought everything was going well. And then I got pulled into a meeting yesterday to be told I’ve failed to meet expectations and my probation is being extended. Their lists of criticisms is basically the same as everything I was criticised for at my last job.
I feel like such a fucking failure. I’m never going to be the person I want to be. Everyone around me is asking if this career is right for me, and it kills me to think I might have to change paths. I’ve worked so hard for this. It’s the one thing I’m qualified to do and I’m shit at it. I’ve been feeling so low my suicidal ideation has come back. I’m not good enough. I’ll never ever be good enough. I hate my brain. I hate my useless fucking brain. And the best part is when I suggest to anyone, even doctors, that I might have ADHD they insist that’s not true because they have some ADHD cousin who’s a drug addict of starts fires and I’m Much too Smart and Far too Achieved to be anything of the sort.
I don’t know how the fuck I’m supposed to go on living another 50+ years like this. No one will ever marry me because I’m so useless and hypersensitive. If I have any kids I’ll fuck them up beyond belief. I can’t do it. I wish I could but I fucking can’t.
No. 1967207
>>1967133Ok first yes, your brain sucks: welcome to the world of ASD/ADHD! Second, never compare yourself: your symptoms are not the same as another person with the same diagnosis, specially if they are men, we have different symptoms. Third: don't change careers regarding other people's opinions. Sadly, in business most of the time looks like high school, there are many bullies that want to take you down, and they know who to pick. That has nothing to do with you being good or bad at your job, but the hustle world we live in business related speaking. Don't give up, no matter what they told you, don't give up. Yes it's harder because of your condition but don't listen, they most likely want you as a punchbag because of their own low self-esteem issues. Also, if they fire you or whatever, keep trying. If this is what you love, this is your path!
No. 1967259
>>1960914 here
Hey guys could you please help
No. 1967921
File: 1713380863554.png (332.39 KB, 568x358, 1.png)
>>1966221My contract in a job where I dealt with customers expired and I found employment as a cleanster. I clean floors and windows in supermarkets and private offices, and I only have to interact with the dudes who hand me papers which say "job done in 3 hours, you're good to go"
And then onto the next task for the same company
No. 1968192
>>1968168NTA, but a correct diagnosis may help her understand her situation better and also she could learn how to manage the areas she struggles the most, regardless the diagnosis.
I've said this before, because I know how much annoying is that everyone seems to be on the spectrum, like it is the new trend or something. But the thing is that, thanks to that, more and more women are able to be diagnosed correctly instead of, like always, being accused of "not trying hard enough".
No. 1968637
>>1968194Ayrt and I'm specifically talking about colleges in the US that provide you with legal accomodations via on-campus disability centers. They aren't super picky about which diagnoses qualify for which accommodations (unless it's physical vs. mental). You can get stuff like attendance flexibility, assignment deadline flexibility, extra time on tests, breaks during class, etc. regardless of what your specific diagnosis is. Workplaces don't really…have that system in my experience. Under the ADA, you can self advocate for specific accomodations, but you typically will do so informally (you don't even have to disclose what you have), and it's extremely hard to prove it if they don't respect your requests. And in the end, they can still fire you for being socially inept, which has happened to me, and often. Employers don't write, "So-and-so was fired for being too retarded," they nitpick other stuff or leave it vague. A diagnosis will not protect you from being mistreated in the workplace. It is not hard at all for them to get away with this.
I'm saying all this because I was the sort of textbook sperg who got diagnosed with a ton of shit I didn't have, and in the end, once I did get an autism diagnosis, absolutely nothing changed in terms of actual, tangible accommodations and legal protections. And honestly, I find that disclosing any of this, and even handing over your disability letters at school, can just make you a target. I had a professor fuck with me so hard once I handed in my disability letter that other students reported him to the department chair, and the disability center basically said, "Sorry, you can't prove it, and even if you could, you'll get nowhere with a lawsuit."
No. 1968771
>>1968693Not quite the same but I've definitely struggled with people, sometimes even friends, making fun of the games I'd enjoy.
What also didn't help is how everything has to be activism in a lot of fandom spaces now, when I just want to have fun with whatever my special interest game/show/whatever is at the time. It unironically gives me stress because I'm scared of being seen as a bad person for not doing lip service to whatever is the current activism thing.
No. 1968869
>>1968771ayrt. Yeah this is so annoying as well. When i got back into my fandom in 2020 it was so annoying to constantly be met with people trying to basically apologize for liking the show cause it has '
problematic' scenes/jokes. Or headcanoning all the characters as trans or whatever (even though the show already had loads of gay/bi characters, people always had to go further). This is personally when I first encountered the new set of self diagnosed autists starting to emerge. Some of the most vocal and annoying people in the fandom going on about
problematic shit or making every character trans and autistic were the ones claiming the show as a special interest in their description or whatever. Ironically the most autistic person in the fandom at the time on tumblr was some 30 something year old straight woman who had her blog for like a decade and was basically an outcast with these newer people in the fandom and was always being called out for 'fetishizing' the main gay couple on the show lol.
No. 1968974
>>1968637AYRT and regarding accommodations I was also referring to the same on-campus disability center accommodations at a public university in the USA. Your post is very interesting to me because in my experience they're extremely picky. I didn't get any of the things you mentioned when I provided them my autism diagnosis paperwork let alone before. All I got was a separate test center. I asked for assignment flexibility after providing all of my paperwork and they said absolutely not because they don't want to encourage procrastination. I also have friends who have depression, anxiety, ect. but not autism or ADHD and they get zero accomodations. Before my autism paperwork processed I was shit out of luck basically, and I really need to take tests separately because I cannot focus in a huge testing center.
As for work, I've had better experiences with specifically sensory accommodations but it's still not so great. Like both of us brought up, things like employers attempting to fire you for being awkward or being mistreated and it's impossible to prove a discrimination case. Even so, everyone's situation is different and I think it's better to have a diagnosis to understand yourself and explain these issues rather than look like an idiot who is just making up problems and being a baby.
No. 1969375
>>1966349Congrats
nonnie for the position!
Yes, even from the start I thought in adult education, name it at university level or secondary level. Kinda don't want to be that teacher who doesn't engage with their classroom or who has really obsolete methods, but it's a lot of work to build our identities as educators with a neurodivergency. Nevertheless with adults you can hold a conversation more easily than with kids or teenagers.
Oh
nonnie, did you have any problem in the internships with your tutor/teacher of didactics/coordinator? any kind of negative feedback? and nooo, it doesn't sound dumb, even the more extrovert, sane and made-for-teaching educator has had experiences which overwhelmed and exhausted them.
My only experience with teaching minors was tutoring single teens, and while less or more they could pass English, the amount of apathy and lack of good manners was so off putting to me.
Thanks for sharing your experience and advice about specialization, you are right, there has to be a demand in companies/business for English. Or even in politics. Anyways, the goal is not to get stuck in a job which undermines my mental health
No. 1969382
>>1968974Oh, perhaps it's just my limited experience then, I went to 3 different universities in different states and they were all pretty blase about which accommodations I qualified for, but the truth is that those disability centers are really not very powerful to begin with. For example, with attendance flexibility, they left it up to individual instructors to decide how many days was fair. And for assignment flexibility, some professors could just straight up refuse to do it and the disability center had zero recourse. Regardless, I see what you mean and in that case, I would understand wanting a diagnosis. I just felt like it was a lot of effort, emotional turmoil, and time without much in return.
>>1968783I agree with this. I wasted years of my life obsessed with finding out "the truth" and wanting to understand every single tiny facet of myself, which just led to me not having a real identity outside of my diagnosis. A lot of therapy encourages this myopic perspective of yourself in which everything you do can be neatly explained and pathologized. I was so desperate to understand what was wrong with me, and now I wish I'd spent less time scrutinizing every single thing I did and more time learning how to accept myself and exist in this world.
No. 1969386
>>1968783>NTA and this might be an unpopular opinion, but I think it's a harmful mindset to think that a diagnosis might help you "understand yourself."Yes, I fully agree with you nona. It's not just an autism thing there are studies that show people literally take on the social "role" they're given. I honestly think if you take a normal kid and tell them they're an autist, or they have ADHD they will start to act like they do because they believe in it. We see it on tiktok too, kids literally develop tics and "gender dysphoria" and such simply from being told about it. Not just kids though, it's also true for adults and extra true for teens.
It really seems a lot of time a mental illness diagnosis isn't telling you what is wrong with you, it's instead giving you a role to play in the world. By accident of course, but I think it's a serious problem.
No. 1969420
>>1969386nta but I struggle with this. My multiple diagnosis I don't doubt since I never sought them out or was the one suggesting it, but I do struggle with not trying to pathologize everything about myself while also trying to understand myself and what works best for me.
What helps even less is how a lot of the self-diagnosis crowd loves to spread misinformation of trying to quirky-fy ADHD and ASD, which makes trying to find both a community and/or helpful information even harder.
Again, the balance between trying to understand and not overly pathologize is hard. I used to think for example weighted blankets were just for very autistic kids, but I got one and instantly started sleeping better. On the other hand I'm tired of being told "omg I do that too tho!!" when talking about the struggles of my disorders to people that do not have it.
No. 1969553
In the process of getting my autism diagnosis, I've been filling out the first handful of forms. It's tricky because I have some very autistic traits and some very non-autistic traits at the same time.
Anyone else at the start of their diagnosis?
>>1967101I'm so sorry nonette. I tried 10 times, it gets better
No. 1969706
>>1969535while the diagnosis can help you find like-minded people, I think for most people it would be better to cut it down to symptoms instead. Instead of the psychologist (or whoever) saying "oh you have sensory issues, typical autism case" they could be like "sounds like you have these specific sensory issues, let's see what we can do to ease that for you".
I also think real research needs to be done on if autism is socially contagious the way eating disorders and being trans is. I fully believe it is (but not "real" autism obviously).
>>1969553>In the process of getting my autism diagnosisyou mean you're in the process of getting evaluated for IF you have autism… the way you worded that and how you find it "tricky" due to having non-autistic traits really makes it sound like you've made up your mind and is out diagnosis-shopping. I didn't find the process tricky as I just had to be myself and be honest. Not saying you don't have it though. But remember that if they don't test you for other disorders (at the absolute very least ADHD) as well then they're not legit and I wouldn't trust them no matter what the result is. They're supposed to exclude other diagnoses before jumping to the conclusion that it's autism.
No. 1969755
>>1969706AYRT: Well I think that is a whole different question, the fact that, mental illnesses have been increased exponentially over the few decades. Back in the 60s and 70s everyone seem to be depressed, 80s full with ocd and addictions, 90s adhd kids, 00s eating disorders, 2010s bpds… (just a poor generalisation here).
What I'm trying to say is that, there is a difference between the fact that it seems to be a huge increase of mental disorders or that even there is a potential contagious of them, versus the fact that many people nowadays are struggling with mental health.
Maybe you are right and therapists should focus on treating the symptoms and leave labels apart, but there is no deny that certain illnesses or symptoms or whatever you want to call them, are more frequent day by day.
No. 1972678
>>1969856No, I don't tell. The way I see it, it's none of their business. I've disclosed in the past naively thinking my boss would be more accommodating but word got around and it backfired. Even people who tried to be nice were just very condescending and infantilizing. But I'm very private about my personal life in general now, I want my coworkers and boss to know as little about me as possible.
>>1969706>I think for most people it would be better to cut it down to symptoms instead.Yeah, this was a turning point for me. Instead of trying to "make sense" of all my symptoms by giving them names, focusing on just one thing at a time helped immensely. People with autism can present very differently from one another anyways, so it makes more sense to focus on specific issues in my mind.
No. 1978112
>>1976243you just need to master the ability to talk about the weather kek
"sure is rainy today"
No. 1979323
>>1979274No, I was being serious. They complain if she spergs about her interests, and they complain if she's silent. If she wants to talk to people and come across as nice and approachable she should learn how to small talk.
The fact that they complain about her silence means they WANT to talk to her but neither side knows how. If a moid you only slightly knew came up to you and started talking about his love for a niche interest like lampshade production or the reproductive system of dung beetles you'd be annoyed too the 10th time he does it. But if it was your beloved bestie sperging a bit you'd tolerate it because you know it makes them happy and you love them.
You need to level up you skills (small talk and friendship) to get to the final boss (get to talk about your personal interests). Don't forget to let them talk about their boring normie interests too.
No. 1981685
File: 1714197824402.png (17.17 KB, 372x102, Screenshot 2024-04-26 230302.p…)
never seen an actual autistic person mention how they're autistic constantly like these people
No. 1983433
>>1981685"As an autistic autist on the spectrum, I was ticing so hard from how deeply hurt I am that you autism nazi gatekeepers have no compassion towards us poor self-diagnosers! We are heckin
valid, we totally just can't afford to get a diagnosis because of how much money we spend on stim-toys. In fact I had to try all my autism stim toys to see which one stims me the best just to get over this traumatic ableist experience. Btw most self-diagnosers are poor
poc so you're a white supremacist just for questioing us. The fact that I'm also white is fully irrelevant because I check my white supremacy privilege on the daily. I'm gonna watch bluey while hate-tweeting about you on twitter now."
No. 1984237
>>1983699>>1983607She 100% is someone who would believe in Jillian's larp.
I wonder how much of this is innocent acceptance of others vs just trying to look good in front of others by implying no one ever fakes on social media ever. Being autistic doesn't mean you have to be accepting of this shit, I hate goodie two shoes.
No. 1984242
>>1984237>I wonder how much of this is innocent acceptance of others vs just trying to look good in front of others by implying no one ever fakes on social media ever.Well put nona. I don't really trust "autists" who don't believe in fakers, I feel like actual autists just kinda go "wow that's some retarded bullshit lol who does that" without really caring about consequences because we're just like that. If not out loud then at least internally.
I also don't trust goodie two shoes, they do more harm than good as we've seen with the entire troon movement and how "being nice" led to women losing rights, kids getting mutilated and gays getting kicked out of their own spaces. There is nothing noble or kind with accepting people in blackface as if they were truly black. Same with autism fakers.
>>1983699>she gave Jk Rowling devil horns in a video and told her followers to watch Hontra for evidence of her evil terve deedsThat proves she doesn't do any actual research, and instead just panders for clout. At the very "best" she's proven she just buys into obvious ideological lies without question so why would I trust anything she says about other things? Asking a troon what JKR did wrong is like asking Hitler why jews are bad and buying it all at face value.
No. 1984247
>>1984242Like, I do believe her when she says she's autistic but it's her whole personality what makes me dislike her. She has the typical "uwuim an autistic smol bean" personality, and sometimes it feels like autistic women can only be that one thing. And we know that's just not how it is.
Her videos are also so mid and lack nuance. Literally entry level shit which now makes me believe this is why fakers flock to her and why she coddles them. "Let's all just be nice and friends to each other and believe everythinguwu" bullshit
No. 1984249
>>1984237A lot of people do unfortunately. I'm someone who is fascinated by munchies and those that scam using fake cancer (not always the same type of person). One thing I noticed in podcasts and videos about the latter, even though they're way easier to prove, is that sometimes no matter how obvious it was the cancer was fake, tons of people would defend the person to hell and back.
There's simply a stupid amount of people who don't want to believe someone out there might lie about it. I imagine for the youtuber in question its probably partially not wanting to believe someone might abuse her goodwill. And I'm someone myself who has had, and will always have, issues with realizing someone is lying straight to my face. But it can be hard to defend when the signs of fakery are so incredibly obvious. I'm sure she also thinks stuff like fakedisordercringe are just mean bullies too, even though the posts there couldn't be more obvious in how fake they are.
>>1984247It's pretty privilege. That's just straight up the reason. It's a lot easier to be coddled and treated like an "uwu smol autistic bean" when you're a petite (white) woman. Autism is a lot more aesthetic when they are low/underweight due to food issues and not fat due to food issues, and of course have a pretty or at least average face.
No. 1984251
>>1983607>>1983679>>1983699>>1984237This is why I prefer The Thought Spot over that one or Purple Ella. There's some snark to her that I really like kek. Timestamp 18:52
And speaking of Purple Ella, I always avoid her videos, not sure why. Maybe because she identifies as nonbinary despite being an older woman and having children.
No. 1984265
>>1984251While the video at your timestamp was indeed total bullshit as all body language stuff is, I do think the earlier videos she discusses straight up just aren't meant in the way she's interpreting them. Yes, some people really do want their SO to learn mind read skills, but I understood the videos at wanting to not constantly hold your SO's hand, ESPECIALLY men who get away with not knowing shit about their girlfriends and wives all the time.
Also some of the videos are simply a case of not being about you. It's like people who look at a cheesecake recipe and reply "Well but I'm allergic to cream cheese?". Okay but it's not about your specific thing.
>>1984252I don't think so. It's a skill you can learn after all.
No. 1984305
>>1984252Yes and no. Plenty of high functioning people are into literature at a higher level and it makes them smug pseudo-intellectuals who think they're better than others. They usually suck at talking/writing casually and instead always use "big" words to sound smart. In reality they fail at basic communication when they don't realize normal people don't know/use those words casually and they blame the other for being "uneducated" instead of choosing to use clearer communication.
Trying to think of an example at the top of my head, it would be like instead of saying "the guy down the street was stabbed" they'd be more like "the gentleman whose habitat is in close proximity to my own housing was fatally lacerated in a violent incident"
No. 1985040
>>1984974>That kind of misconception put me off from getting a diagnosis for so many years because everybody ignores the actual criteria for aspergers/autism of having a social deficit.This.
>>1984985Ew
No. 1985055
>>1984974People just latch onto the special interest concept and want to feel like their shopping addiction is actually super special and justifiable then try incorporate the most superficial aspects of the disorder all to excuse acting like a bitch or be childish. All while attending loads of social events (all the random women/'non binary people' writing books about being autistic and going on book tours, doing interviews, promo etc but posing for a ridiculously staged vid with their stim toy or ear defenders at the event), running their own businesses (usually ones that require loads of communication) and having long term relationships/loads of friends/socializing lots online and off …
The excuse is always 'I don't show everything online!!' and 'you can't judge someone's life from social media alone!!' but if your ENTIRE online persona is about autism and all you can show of the negatives is you hate loud noises or are a picky eater or don't make eye contact then how is that even impacting your life to the point you need a diagnosis of a developmental disorder? It's just crazy. Sorry for the rant, I always feel dumb and bitter when I get mad at these people but it's so frustrating. I try not interact with the content but it's everywhere.
No. 1985110
>>1984974>i don't think i stim at all or have any sensitivities, yet i was still diagnosed with autism.To be fair i don't "think" i stim either and neither does my bestie who's also a diagnosed aspie. Yet to me it's obvious she sometimes subtly rocks back and forth when we sit down together, she's not really aware of it but it kinda is textbook stimming to rock like that. And I don't know if it fully counts as stimming but I've always been the most annoying leg bouncer and foot squisher, it just feels sooo comfy to do it.
I've to this day never met a stimmer who uses a stim toy made for stimming though, no hand flappers either - despite that being 50% of tiktok stimmers. The stimmers/autists who did use an item always used a sort of mundane everyday object that they happened to like: pencil, a small hand towel, some metal nut thingy. They never relly put it down, it was always in their hand. They didn't just bring it out "to calm down" or to "show how happy i am" like tiktok fakers do, they just always casually had it.
No. 1985230
>>1985110>I've to this day never met a stimmer who uses a stim toy made for stimming though, no hand flappers either - despite that being 50% of tiktok stimmers. >They didn't just bring it out "to calm down" or to "show how happy i am" like tiktok fakers doThis is what irks me because for the longest time I didn't seek a diagnosis because of the extreme stereotypes that media and now these fakers encourage. I would never "stim" for a camera I would never just do it on purpose to show I'm bored or happy or whatever they do. It honestly bothers me a lot.
I'm not judging if someone has a keychain or one thing they stim with in their purse. That's ok. What I don't like is that it's always rainbow hair color people that act in extremes for a fucking tiktok video. Idk how to put it in words. It's just fake.
No. 1985593
>>1985380>Forever angry that autistic males who troon out get passes for so many things that women, especially autistic ones, would be castigated for.It's incredibly frustrating, but at the same time it proves that no one sees them as women. It's not ideal but it's also nice to know that they are genuinely seen as pathetic and forever worthless men who can't ever become meaningful members of the community - and that's why people don't care and go "aw good job you" as if they were a 3 year old who fell on their butt and crawled away. Meanwhile we get actual expectations on us, because they truly think we can be better and have meaningful lives while contributing to the community.
On the surface it might seem nice and like they're getting a pass to cruise around, but what a sad and pathetic way to live to be seen as truly worthless.
Speaking of troons it's vital to inform all your female friends and family of AGP and that when troons ask "do I look cute in this dress uwu?" they are forcing you to take part in a fetish, that it is sexual for them. Think about it like pedos, if you didn't know they existed and a man came in who loved kids, he was always so kind to them and hugging them, and he volunteered to be the adult supervisor when no one else did and he always took them to the pool every weekend out of his own free time and money. Everyone would be so amazed that a man actually cares for kids! Wow what a great father figure for them all! But when you know pedos exist this instead raises red flags, like hang on why is this adult man actually taking young kids to swim half-naked every weekend? While hugging them and bribing them with candy? The only difference is you know about pedos existence.
Most people are still unaware of AGPs, so they don't see the massive red flags until you tell them about it. Usually you just have to briefly mention it without too many details and it just clicks for them and they fill in all the blanks themselves - like they had been waiting for the explanation to make sense of it all.
No. 1985699
File: 1714471249900.jpg (18.15 KB, 367x500, weeb.jpg)
>>1985605>While this does happen, I think that people also have the tendency to intrpret people who use big words as automatically smug.Possibly, but I was actually talking from experience. Those guys were obvious dickheads with a inferiority complex, so they took it out on others in the one area they thought they were "better". I think there's a reason they're almost exclusively male.
>I doubt anyone would intentionally choose to speak like that.They're autists, they don't fully realize how they come across due to the social deficit. Like weebs who wore long black leather coats to school thinking it made them look like a cool brooding anime hero rather than a bit of a twat.
No. 1985863
>>1985115Completely agree with you, enablers are the absolute worst. Assholes who think we're fakers actually see us as humans capable of doing better in life than wallowing in what they see as a bullshit diagnosis. Enablers see us as pets who do hand flappies for the camera. They're so smug about smothering us with their unwanted adoration and do nothing to actually help those who need it. I wish we could make them spend a year working as a tard wrangler for autists who need 24/7 care and smear their own shit on the walls, or ADHD kids (moids) who bring knives to school because muh RDS.
>>1985676>the past 10 decadesCongratulations on reversing 100 years of drinking the TRA koolaid vampire-chan! I love you, keep fighting the good fight.
No. 1986213
>>1985814nta but anon even literally said she's talking about men
>>1985863>Assholes who think we're fakers actually see us as humans capable of doing better in life than wallowing in what they see as a bullshit diagnosis. Enablers see us as pets who do hand flappies for the camera. I used to be annoyed at certain older people saying things like "oh shucks, we'd all have a diagnosis if we just went to the doctor, everyone is crazy in their own way" but now I'm longing for those days of casual acceptance, even though it was slightly misguided it's better than these 2 options.
No. 1987629
File: 1714608669018.jpeg (874.34 KB, 1170x1134, IMG_6193.jpeg)
do any of you with ADHD struggle with self harm/addictions? I used to be a big self harmer, before that I would do a lot of drugs (sometimes relying on them just to do basic things). Now I am medicated, I rarely crave these things, but when the meds wear off I find myself aching for self harm. The only time I don’t is if I have some new hyperfixation.
It’s so embarrassing. I feel like selfharm is such a “first world problem”, and everytime I want it I think of all the children and people who are hurt without their consent, who wish they could be me with the choice to hurt myself. I just don’t know how to reconcile with the selfishness of self harm and the fact i love it (and the influence of ADHD on my relationship with it).