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No. 155991
>>155990some guys like it when it gets really wet while others don't. you might also be temporarily "opening up" when you get really wet. it's basically because you're being really relaxed, and i've heard it has something to do with your cervix expanding or something for the sake of procreation… it also happens to me when the sex gets too rough and i can feel him banging on my cervix
what always fixes that for me is getting licked a little bit or having my clit played with (which can happen when he slips out without changing positions). i can also tense/flex my vagina pretty tightly, so even when i start to feel a little "loose" after some rough stuff, i can fix it on my own. the only problem is that it sometimes doesn't get tight enough all the way in? does anyone know how to fix this? my ex said that it is really tight towards the opening and especially the opening, but at the end it feels very "open."
this is coming from someone that is either way too dry or way too wet with what i assume an average vagina. supposedly super tight/tightest guys have been with, but my exes with the average 5"-6" complained that they couldn't bottom out like they could with other girls. so maybe i'm deep or some shit?
No. 155998
>>155990I would just keep some paper towels handy nearby to wipe up the excess when it gets messy.
>>155996Nah m8, sometimes when you get you both start to lose friction and it becomes less pleasurable. I totally understand where her guy is coming from. It happens to me whilst I'm masturbating with my Lelo and I might as well be trying to grasp onto a bar of soap in the shower that's how bad it's slipping around.
No. 155999
>>155992I first had sex with somebody who was fairly experienced and I'd have to say I'm happy with that decision because doing it with another newbie like you, if they're a guy they're more likely to be in a frenzy or too excitable to listen to you properly when you ask to slow down or take it more gently.
My partner was only 16 but he lost his virginity aged 13 and knew what he was doing and so was very gentle with me and tried to make it more about me than it was about him.
Your first time shouldn't really hurt anyway if the person is being gentle enough and you're sufficiently aroused and actually "want" to do it.
No. 156001
>>155992I've read that the first time enhances the bonding aspect. If that is important to you, then you should wait.
If not, then do what
>>155999 suggested. Virginity only has the value you give it. I lost mine to a prostitute.
No. 156002
File: 1435253161106.jpg (16.75 KB, 447x318, 1424240472966.jpg)
Can someone give me some tips on giving head the first time/in general? I'm 20 and it's kind of embarrassing how inexperienced I am.
No. 156003
>>156002you can use your hands and hold the base so that you can focus on sucking and licking on it until you become comfortable with having their cock in your mouth. Try not to let your teeth get in the way. It's also good to use this time to get to know what he likes more, sucking, licking, whether he wants softer or harder pressure, etc. Then from there, you can keep slipping your hand down if you feel like you can take more
remember to try touching other areas too, like his balls to see if he likes that
No. 156006
>>156004with my last ex, we did the whole senpai and oniichan/oneechan thing…weeb af but turns me on so
shrug also neko play
No. 156009
>>156007it WILL not work out. I repeat. leave now
I was head over heels for a man who i had HORRIBLE sex with. He had literately a 4 inch penis and would refuse to have sex for longer than 5 minutes (i.e he would cum) and we had no sexual relationship that was satisfying. he would also not touch me sexually in any way at all, would find sex boring etc
I couldn't take it. I thought it would work but it wont. it's a very sad sad situation but best to leave now and make it hurt less
No. 156010
>>156007Talk about this with him
Try new things
Couple's counselling
Break up if you can get any attraction to him.
No. 156012
>>156009Wow this is scarry :/
Since we are going to be in the same town for ou studies we where planning on taking a appartement together but I don't think this will work out if we are even closer…
This make me so sad because he has every single quality I look for into a man. He "just" isn't very atractive or sexy.
I tried explaining to him why I wasn't satisfied when we had sex, and he want to change, it really hurt me to see him willing to change and to be so turned of when he try anything in regard to sex… I just don't feel excited or aroused around him :/
I feel like such a bitch because a few days ago I got all excited when a super hot nice and cute guy touched me by error. He seemed to be very attracted to me too and I felt really bad.
No. 156013
>>156009This. Down to the 4 inch penis.
I wasn't physically attracted to him in the least. We didn't even really have a honeymoon period where you bang all the time and it's always good because of that passion that comes with new relationships. After a week I was over it, and very quickly our sex life became nonexistent because he failed to arouse me in any way. We were together for 3-4 years and the whole time I was thirsty as fuck. My friends would talk about their relatively fulfilling sex lives and I'd feel even worse.
Breaking up with him was one of my best decisions ever because now I actually know what a satisfying and fulfilling relationship is like and I am exponentially happier. I've been with my current bf for 3 years and the sex is amazing, and it's only been getting better.
I really think that sexual compatibility is extremely important for a happy and healthy relationship. You both need to be on the same page sexually. Whether you wanna have lots of sex or only occasional sex, your preference should match your partner's.
TLDR; dump him and save yourself the heartache.
No. 156018
>>156013Yeah he has a small penis too…
I totaly understand the part about feeling shitty when your friends talk about their great sex life. I have a very close friend who has countless sex partner et has amazing sex whenever she want, she always been jealous of my relationship. She think we are cute together and that he is so nice to me… One day I told her how awful the sex was and she seemed so chocked and a bit sad for me. She stills say that she envy us but not as much and I can tell that she will never leave her life of lonely amazing sex for a engagment with someone who isn't a good sex partner…
Btw I started questionning this side of my relationship not so long ago seeing those two tumblr
> http://naked-yogi.tumblr.com/ (NSFW + a bit of SJW…)> http://slide-2-unlock.co.uk/ (NSFW) and the relationship theese people are involved in created a huge complex in me … I also want to do dirty things, be used, be surprised… No I'm not excited when we are watching TV and you suddendly get an erection… I particulary love the second couple who take photograph, I turn me on really bad but when I talk to him about doing so he just laugh and say it's weird to do that…
No. 156021
>>156017>>156016i HAVE to play with my clit in order to get off during sex. so he penetrates me (penis or fingers) and I basically just masturbate. it used to take a long time, but once i figured out what to think about and how to get myself to cum faster, it doesn't take so long. and it's faster with his fingers since he can play with my boobs better when he does that.
if my bf plays with my clit when he's also penetrating me, then i just squirt. i can't cum that way, but i do squirt everywhere.
No. 156022
>>155986Take some of my slobber please. I've got too much. It pools up at the base of his dick sometimes tbh.
Anybody have tips on what to do to stop it? I try to keep it in my mouth when it grosses him out but it's so hard.
No. 156024
>>156022Tell him to get over himself? JK but if he wants a nice wet BJ that doesn't feel like crawling naked through the Sahara he should expect saliva to be involved, and a lot of it.
>>156023Just keep going after you cum and it's not a problem. If you have sensitivity afterwards just slow down for a bit.
No. 156026
>>156021get a vibrator
spend a little extra money and get a good rechargable one
No. 156027
File: 1456274604372.jpg (50.07 KB, 640x640, 1447604654922.jpg)
I'm gonna have my first time with my boyfriend friday. I'm really excited lol. I bought a bra and panty set.
But I have one problem.
I swear my vagina is really small. (I've never been able to get two fingers.) I feel like it won't fucking fit and its going to hurt like fuck.
Is it going to hurt like fuck?
No. 156032
>>156027i really recommend using some lube. or maybe not, i feel like most people don't use it for their first time? but for me it really helped. it took a long 10 minutes of just slowly getting used to his dick since i feel like i was very small as well. just make sure youre calm/relaxed and don't tense up
>>156030i feel the same. when i was in highschool and i had no boyfriend i was always getting in the mood but nowadays i just never think about it? i can get aroused i guess but i don't see something and really get turned on. but it's not like im an aesxual or anything.
i think my sex drive got killed when i got depressed, but i feel like my zoloft pills had something to do with it as well. is it weird that i can't self lubricate anymore?
i feel bad for my boyfriend because i want to please him everyday but i just dont get in the mood so we don't have sex that often. any tips? im thinking of exercising and getting a better sleep schedule so i feel better about my body but.. i barely even get wet it makes me feel like shit.
No. 156033
>>156028No idea.
>>156032>>156029Thanks I'll try it.
No. 156035
>>156031No, not Prozac. Effexor xr, 185mg.
>>156032I don't have the physical problems like no natural lubrication I just don't feel any kind of sexy. I wanna get turned on so badly, because I feel like its not fair on my partner but I just can't find it
No. 156036
>>156034I could've written that.
I am undoubtedly, severely mentally ill, but have been trying to avoid treatment for financial reasons. I'm undiagnosed and unmedicated. What I thought was depression has evolved into anxiety and drastic mood swings now that I've reached my 20's. I believe it is very much related to my whacked sex drive. I'm usually in a state of total apathy, but will have a day or two every few weeks where I become energetic, spontaneous, and sexually insatiable. I wasn't this out of balance when I was just depressed constantly.
I have no advice for you since I haven't found any answers, either, but was just glad someone else can put what I'm experiencing into words. I think I just need to get medicated, really.
No. 156048
>>156045>>156040Yep. Can confirm. I'm on Zoloft as well, 200mg.
I have nearly 0 desire while on it unless I drink alcohol.
When I'm off it even 2-3 days, it spikes up like crazy. It's almost a challenge to get rid of it at that point.
No. 156052
>>156048Huh, interesting. I've been on Prozac since I was thirteen and switched to Zoloft a few years ago. I've never really truly understood when people have talked about lust and such because I've never felt the overwhelming urge to do anything sexual. I've never even touched myself down there becaue I don't understand the point or what I'm supposed to accomplish. Sure, I've have crushes and stuff, but mostly my fantasies envolve purely romantic stuff like kissing and cuddling. Although, sometimes I do get a feeling
usually when I'm reading fanfic, please don't judge me that's sort of like having to pee but not. Is this what arousal is? (I'm sorry, I feel like such an idiot for having to ask this.)
I've always thought my lack of sexual motivation was normal and just chalked it up to my prudish personality (which I feel does play some part in it), but the antidepressants have been a regular part of my life for so long I never considered that there might be other sideffects that I don't even notice. Thanks for shedding light on this.
No. 156053
File: 1456522137089.jpg (69.97 KB, 640x791, tmp_5204-https://36.media.tumb…)
I think I have PTSD from childbirth. Please hear me out.
My boyfriend and I have had sex exactly one time since I gave birth to our son. He's 6 months old. Anyway, it hurt like hell and all I can think about is a baby coming out of my vag instead of what I obviously should be thinking about. Foreplay goes really well until it actually gets to the penetration part. Like, should I get help for this or what?
No. 156059
>>156054For some we never manage quickies, we need foreplay and have a rule against obligation sex. Also nobody cares but we finally did it! Venting on here was like praying to the dicking gods.
>>156058Maybe pull the focus away from penetration for now? He should understand if it's not working for you, and other stuff is fun too.I don't want to sound cliche but I read that getting to know yourself at bath time can help with all sorts of anxiety.
No. 156060
>>156052It could be a combination of lack of experience, anti-depressant side effects, something biological, possibly upbringing as well. Possibilities are endless. It's very difficult to say from just your single post here.
How old are you? Do you have any sexual experience (positive, neutral or negative)?
I'm not trying to imply that you're not functioning properly because there is endless variety in human sexuality, but if you are an adult you might want to see a gyno just to make sure your hormone levels/plumbing/etc. is looking healthy. It would at least rule out that option.
No. 156061
>>156060I'll be turning 22 this year. I've had one serious boyfriend (it only lasted three months, though) but no sexual experience whatsoever.
Thanks so much for the info! I'll definitely look into seeing a gynecologist.
No. 156062
>>156051I think I typed it wrong, I meant I can't feel his dick pulsing or whatever like some people say they can. When he cums in me I can feel it when the cum starts to leak out of me but not when it's coming out of his dick.
In my mouth I can feel his cum come out but I also can't feel the dick twitch then. Is there something wrong or do some guys' dicks just not twitch when they cum?
No. 156071
>>156062Probably differs from guy to guy, maybe dependent on size too. My ex who was only about 5" I couldn't really feel any twitching or pulsing, but my current bf who is 8" I can feel everything.
>>156070Yeah, I'm on Effexor and it has pretty much closed shop on my orgasms. I can get aroused and still enjoy sex, but I cannot orgasm. I think I've come once since I've started it 3 months ago. It sucks ass. My clit has like, no feeling at all now.
No. 156073
>>156071>>156062Maybe they don't, or can't go, go balls deep when they cum? My boyfriend is a little over 6" and I can feel him cum from the spurting of said cum as well as the contractions from the base of his dick.
…He used do kegles faithfully…
No. 156075
>>156051I'm
>>156043For me, semen isn't as much of an indicator as the twitching and pulsing. my bf produces a lot of pre-ejaculate (really confusing during bjs) so there’s always a lot of liquid. if I don't examine thoroughly whatever comes out of my vagina afterwards - which I have no intention to do -I won't know.
I wasn’t talking about blowjobs though.
No. 156077
>>156073My boyfriend is the same size and usually goes balls deep when he cums, but I still can't feel the pulsations or the cum coming out. I can definitely feel it twitching when he's done and just staying inside me, but when it's actually happening I don't feel anything.
I guess it either differs or I'm so caught up in sex I can't feel it in the moment. It sucks, I really wish I could feel that.
No. 156081
>>156050>>156080honestly im in a similar situation too(not enough sex). I think im to subtle with my advances, im not used to having to make a move. also I think im used to the kind of sex I was having with my ex. (the frequency and the style. it.was.amazing.) we dont argue about it tho, my current bf is a better person than my ex.
I dont know what we need to do to have more satisfying sex more frequently. I dont want to nag him or make him feel bad, im afraid its bordering that though
No. 156083
>>156082I have had meaningful talks with him. He says he understands completely, and that things will change, and work out. and then I wait, and wait, and wait, and all of a sudden its been a whole month or more and nothing is really different or we have extremely mediocre routine sex once. I wait so long that I have to have another conversation with him. and I know he gets it, he understands how frustrated I am. I try to get him to explain to me whats wrong, or tell me if he just doesn't have urges? he keeps telling me he doesn't know. hes like the epitome of the guy that doesn't know how to share feelings. he doesn't get mad about it. its as if it doesn't bother him at all. he doesn't worry about it. I cant tell if hes just lazy? or if his libido is low? or if we are just not very sexually compatible? sometimes I think we need therapy or something. But we cant afford it right now.
do you guys have any links to advice forums or articles to read?
No. 156088
>>156087Why would he use lube on your clit?
It's fine to get stimulated there w out any lubrication at all, wtf. Generally better when it's not wet cus you get more of a 'hold' and it's more intense.
> have i been doing sex wrong? No. 156091
>>156088>>156089You're using too much lube. Doing it completely dry is uncomfortable for me because I don't have much of a clitoral hood, like the same way that circumsised guys need lube to comfortably jack off
>>156090The lube I have IS water based. That's not the issue. The issue is a lot of lubes are made without vaginal chemistry in mind and contain glycerin or other ingredients that could disruption the natural ecosystem of the vagina
No. 156100
>>156067>>156065mostly agreed, but for me "faking it" helped overcome anxieties so that I could actually relax and really enjoy it.
just thought I would share my experience.
No. 156108
>>156104It's a personal preference of course. are you asking as the receiver or the performer? Either way, as cliche as it sounds, communication is key. I like to tell my partner to think of it as making out, and to remember that most of the action is with the clit, although it is nice to touch on the other parts of the vagina as well. one thing I have found that helps my bf is holding his head and kind of gently letting him know if i want him to go harder, furter down, etc. I also tell my partners straight up that i most likely will not come, this prevents him/her from thinking they did something wrong, and it lets me enjoy myself without feeling like i have to come, and thus not coming from the pressure. I honestly think the most important thing is to be open. try talking about how to give eachother cues on what feels good before getting down to it if you are like me and don't like talking while being eaten.
you might just find that you still don't like it though, even if the communication is on point, and that is fine too.
No. 156109
>>156102you are in no way, shape or form obligated to do anything you don't want to do. you should not feel guilty. I think it is important that you remember that you don't even need to tell him why. A no is a no is a no. as
>>156107mentiones you are allowed to, and should set your own boundaries.
I was in a relationship with a guy who was obsessed with anal, and i did comply. it's been 5 years and now that I'm older I am actually kind of pissed with myself for not putting my foot down. I did not want to, and I remember "taking it" and not liking it. No one should ever feel like they need to just "take it".
Don't feel guilty, anon. And honestly, if he really is that hung up then maybe he should find someone who is, and you find someone who likes the stuff you like :)
No. 156111
>>156102dude, just tell him the situation and say it brings up traumatic experiences.
If he doesn't respect that, or prioritizes his desire for anal over HIS PARTNER'S COMFORT, you need to dump that asshole.
I was anally raped in my sophomore year of college. Even now, almost five years later, I still can't even. I've tried it with my current partner, but breaking down and crying in the middle of the act seemed to be a real turn-off for him. But when I explained what happened, he apologized for pressuring me to perform like that and hasn't asked since.
No. 156117
>>156115If anon is pregnant plan B can be dangerous. Plan B should only be used up to 72 hours after having unprotected sex/having a condom break.
Listen, ladies, USE protection, pulling out is NOT birthcontrol.
No. 156121
>>156120Hey, I know how you feel.
I'm 23 and I was assaulted by a a group of girls at 9. I still get scared from time to time, but you just have to find the right person to make you feel comfortable and "worth it".
No. 156123
>>156120I was in a similar boat as you. For three years during middle school a girl touched me without my permission in various ways (usually painful and in inappropriate places) and sexually assaulted me a few times. For years I had a problem with being touched despite craving physical touch, anything from simple hugging to cuddling to sexual. It was very conflicting. I would tense up or flinch no matter the contact and my brain would just shut down. A friend once gave me a very gentle back massage since I had a billion knots due to being tense all the time and I couldn't stand it, I was flinching and writhing around to the point it made the pain worse. If anyone hugged me my heart would start to race and my skin would feel like it was tight and trying to evaporate and that I needed to just get away despite also longing for the contact.
The few times I was sexual before my current partner was always with people who spontaneously began to touch me because I was so emotionally locked down I didn't realize they liked me until they started doing things to me and then I felt so shocked and frozen in fear that they just did what they did and it was awkward and then over. It was really conflicting because on one hand I wanted it and it kind of felt good but on the other my body would not calm down and I mainly felt afraid and scared and spergy, to the point of not being able to relax or even speak and say how I felt. (Not that I even understood what was going on with me until years later.)
With my current partner who I have been with for many years, I am happy to say I have finally calmed down considerably but it has taken… a long time. At least six years I would say. I never went to therapy about this but I imagine that might speed up the process? Unfortunately even now if he touches me somewhere other than a non-threatening area, like my head, neck, or hand, I flinch if I am not expecting it and sometimes I can still even pull a muscle, especially in the back. What worked for me is, after I figured out what the fuck was up with me after however many years that took, I asked him to tell me where he would be touching before he did so I could expect it, and softly (but not too softly that it tickled). Over the years, I started trusting him to the point where all he had to do was touch me softly first and I wouldn't flinch. There are certain, er, zones though that I still physically spazz out at unless I am properly relaxed/seduced though, but I am happy to say that presently I have been able to come to terms with being sexual without panicking and even want sex on my own accord from time to time. I also enjoy physical closeness with him like cuddling with ease and no complications anymore.
I am a lot older than you though, so to me you are very young and it is all probably too fresh still. You have a lot of awareness as you are which will help you I think. Things didn't begin to shift for me until 24-25, by that point I was already with my partner for 4-5 years. If you are able to be with someone and trust them, you can find what works for you and communicating that with them and eventually learn to re-wire your brain to trust the contact. However if the problem is that you can't even begin having that option of being close to someone phsycically due to panic, I think speaking with a professional or someone you trust about it will help you a lot. Also, I am fairly certain it is scientifically proven that we need a certain amount of touch a day from someone else, even in small gestures, to function well as human beings. So if you are not used to it, starting is even more difficult. But think of it as learning a new ability, it is always rocky and awkward at first. Since you still have a desire for intimacy, that should be good motivation for you to be able to push through and find a place you are happy with.
No. 156124
>>156122Without knowing you (how you were raised/your past relationships/etc.), it's hard to say but I'd suggest finding a therapist and if you're in a relationship, maybe a relationship counselor so you can get it all out there with your partner.
I've only ever felt that way after having sex with people I didn't know well or while having non-vanilla sex. Sorry I can't be of more help!
No. 156129
>>156126What happened when you tried to talk to him about it? Did the conversation just go nowhere?
It sounds like most of his problems are stemming from his insecurity with his size - you don't feel sexy with the way he's going about things, but I don't think he feels sexy either? Do you initiate things a lot, compliment him etc? That insecurity really needs to be addressed, it's killing his confidence imo.
Does he actually have a fear of body fluids, or is he just nervous about not knowing the right way to go down on you? It's pretty intimidating, especially for men who don't know the vag well.
I hope you can work it out with him, anon. You shouldn't have to be in a sexually unsatisfying relationship.
No. 156130
File: 1461946550687.jpg (Spoiler Image,77.36 KB, 500x750, tumblr_ni7uv5yiZq1tb921bo1_500…)
OP post asks for stories, and since a lot are complaints I wanna talk about some crazy sex I had recently. I'm in an open relationship and have two other partners beyond my boyfriend, but neither of them fuck me as well as him.
Anyways, we're into BDSM and beyond normal play once in a while we have what we call rituals. This most recent ritual happened about two weeks ago, and it starts with him putting me more into a submissive mindset by maintaining eye contact, relaxing me, with chill vibes like a ton of candles, incense, and dark ambient music lol.
Once I was ready, he is really good at rope bondage and began tying off my limbs, making me slowly more vulnerable. He removed my ability to see and hear well for sensory deprivation. Then he wrapped me like I was a mummy and roped my neck, very carefully pulling on it up through our suspension rig, so there was no way I could accidentally get strangled or hurt. I have non-verbal safe word cues I can use if I feel in danger and he never takes it too far. Then he unwrapped me and turned me over and got my circulation going before spanking me, which escalates to flogging, and we might use a cane or the metal flogger dipped in rubbing alcohol but not this time because I don't want to get bruised so much. Sometimes he suspends me with rope and fucks me in the air like that, maybe with the hitachi thrown in. He also gives me hits of nitrous oxide which is perfectly safe as long as you don't overdo it and keep your oxygen levels raised, it makes my world melt into something amazing but it's also an anesthetic so I try not to use it if I'm not my way to cumming. He will tease and deny me via oral, or use the hitachi while fingering my G-spot until I am really frustrated to get off. Then he fucks me slow before finally just fucking me hard and grinding up on my G-spot and I gush involuntarily before he cums inside me (I have an IUD so it's fine, but use protection with other partners.) I don't even consider myself "loud" but his roommate texted him that night after hearing a particularly loud "OH GOD" on how he did it. Lot's of foreplay and build up, but most dudes are too lazy.
/coolstory I just wanted to share since I don't talk too much about it with my other partners even though we're all cool with it. Anyone like BDSM or being submissive?
No. 156132
>>156130Ohhh this sounds like a wonderful time! I am also extremely into BDSM. Your experience far surpasses mine though, as the people I have been with were either inexperienced or not that into it. My current fuckbuddy has gone the farthest with me so far. I love having cigarettes put out on me, being smacked, choked, degraded, handcuffed, gagged, etc. There's just something so freeing in losing control.
The only thing I worry about is I have been raped before and I can't tell if it's my minds way of coping with it. I do love it, but sometimes I really push my limits. I've had people cut me during sex and stuff because my main goal is to be as hurt as possible. One time I was receiving anal and started crying so loudly because I started having intense flashbacks, and because I have never felt the need to use the safeword I didn't really say anything signalling him to stop and he kept going and got frustrated with me when I kind of went out of body and didn't respond to anything afterwards. It wasn't that it hurt, I think I was just really drunk and I dunno…
But yea, BDSM is really kinky. I'd love to hear more stories sometime. I'm kind of thinking of going back to sleeping with girls at some point because with bouts of deep depression I become pretty celibate and would rather just please someone else
sigh No. 156135
>>156133I can actually kinda sympathize.
I'm a virgin but I find penetration in itself either boring or disgusting, and I really have to get turned on in other ways to enjoy the idea of it. I love everything about sex until the actual sex part lol.
No. 156138
>>156130I haven't used nitrous oxide in a BDSM setting yet, but I've done it during vanilla sex quite a few times - usually while I'm being eaten out or riding my bf. It makes it sooo much better.
I'm into BDSM but I'm not really into ropes and machine stuff, I'm more into just really mean and rough powerplay fucking. Can I ask what your non-verbal safeword is? Honestly, I'd be scared if I was in a situation where I couldn't use a verbal safeword lol.
No. 156139
>>156137Dude I thought I was the only person who had a problem with this. Love seems nice and all, but the idea of having to have sex regularly like several times a week just to keep your happy in a relationship is so unpleasant to me. I browse /r/deadbedrooms sometimes and from my perspective it's scary. Your partner can stop loving you and want to find someone else if you don't fuck at least once per week. And if you're not always enthusiastic about it, and just putting out to get it over with like "starsfishing", they still hate you for it.
I love to masturbate on my own schedule but the idea of sex with someone else is unpleasant. It sucks cause it doesn't qualify under neither normal sexual relationship nor under asexuality. Fugggg
No. 156150
>>156139this. i'm 31, still a virgin, and have never had a boyfriend because i avoid relationships because i just do not want to have sex with another person. i am incredibly insecure about how i look, as well as disgusted by the thought of having someone's smelly, germy bodily fluid near my mouth / body. i've never even kissed anyone because it just seems too disgusting. i like the IDEA of kissing, and i watch porn and stuff, but me actually being a part of any of it is gross to me.
so basically i just close myself completely off. i know i could never be in a relationship because sex is expected, and i just am not going to have it, so there is no point in torturing a normal person by denying them a basic need.
No. 156151
File: 1462066075343.gif (10.33 KB, 200x200, th0003r18s.gif~c200.gif)
>>156150I think I'm gonna be you when I'm older, Anon. Are you doing alright in general? I wanna make the best of life, even when single, so I hope it's possible.
No. 156153
>>156151i don't want to scare you, but no i'm not really. i'm sure you're way more normal than i am, but i am basically a female basement dwelling neet (only i have a job.) i haven't had friends since just after high school, and i have no social life other than once a month or so going out with some ex-coworkers to various restaurants. i believe this social retardation runs in my family though. my mother has no friends either, only a semi boyfriend for the past 10 years that she barely gets along with and only goes to the casino with. my older sister only ever had one friends back in like 5th grade, has no social life either, but has a boyfriend. he's her first and only boyfriend, but they've been together for about 13 years and bought a house together 2 years ago. and like i said, i have no friends, just acquaintances i see only in group settings.
>>156152yeah i'd really like an emotional bond with someone, but i totally am afraid of leading a guy on and having him resent and hate me.
i'd look into those asexual whatever dating sites but they all seem like pompous asshole fuck ups, and i just don't want to deal with people more socially retarded than myself.
No. 156156
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whew girls i guess i lost my virginity last night to my virgin bf. could only fit him inside of me for 10 seconds because he thicc but it was still something. it hurt like heck but at least i didnt bleed. finished eachother off with a lil hj and some rubbing and it was all good. pretty awkward, im just happy he was a virgin too. any tips to how he can stay inside me for the whole duration next time? it felt like my vagina kinds closed up and pushed him out and it just didnt work, help pls.
No. 156159
>>156158It's your hymen that makes it difficult and most hymens can be stretched or broken. People needing surgery is relatively unlikely but it can still happen. Tbh I'd only worry about surgery once you'd atempted to have sex. If sex wasn't possible after a few tries, then maybe see a professional about it.
It'll probably be easier if somebody else breaks/stretches it during sex because they can't feel your sensitivity to pain. Weirdly, a lot of people are more capable of tolerating pain when they're not inflicting it on themselves because then they're not anticipating it or dragging it out out of fear.
If you really did want to see if you could handle the issue yourself, use LOTS of lube and dilators that go up in size. If you only want to use your fingers, then orgasm FIRST for relaxation and arousal, then insert your little finger, than a larger finger, then two, etc etc. The trick is to get used to small things and slowly go up in size if you want to stretch it out.
You should also bear in mind that it doesn't matter if it breaks. A lot of the fear comes from the whole "it's going to tear" feeling but honestly it doesn't matter that much. As long as you keep yourself nice and clean, a small tear in the hymen will hurt but is otherwise fairly safe.
This is cliche but the most important thing is not to worry or think of yourself as abnormal. That fear and worry really makes stuff more
difficult.
No. 156164
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So for awhile I've had issues in the bedroom. When I was younger I used to love being sexual and having sex (had my first time at 14 pls no bully).
But when I was about 16 or 17 I was in a pretty messed up relationship and it really took a toll on me. At one point sex just hurt A LOT all the time, so I went to a clinic. They told me that it is possible that I caused a tear and that the scar tissue didn't stretch as well as my normal tissue, so this could be causing pain.
Now the pain isn't as bad (currently 20) but I have huge mental hurdles when it comes to getting aroused. Because of the pain I had I find it hard to ever want sex. I feel really silly at the age of 20 to have issues like this, getting aroused or getting wet. Is their any advice you guys have? I honestly want to see a therapist about this but from looking online, I just can't afford it right now.
No. 156166
>>156160it wasnt. i am a legit girl but i guess i dont type like one (if that's a thing).
>>156157thank
No. 156168
>>156163Try playing a really basic game on your phone such as snake or bejeweled whilst they go down on you, you can make it a game of whether they can distract you into losing the game or not
It sounds dumb as fuck but it helps me, I need to have something to distract my anxious brain until I'm close to the edge
No. 156172
>>156171honestly I was really similar to this…
as a kid I would literally make my stuffed animals rape each other and would for instance make one of my toys tie the other one up against their will and make them do sexual things before I ever knew what sex was? and it would make me really turned on as a child… it's really disturbing for me to think about looking back on it, and I have no idea where that came from because I hadn't been abused at that point that I can remember at all.
once I did know what sex was I was completely repulsed and literally physically ill at the thought but sexual violence still really appealed to me. I'm 21 now and have been in a few abusive relationships and am currently in the healthiest happiest relationship of my life.
I can't say that it will be the same for everyone in our situation, but now my so and I have a really great sex life and it doesn't repulse me anymore. It took them to make me realize what was a normal and healthy relationship and I'm really happy in life now. sorry for this long post with way too much of my own input… but w/e just wanted to let you know you're not alone I guess and wish you the best
No. 156174
>>156159>It'll probably be easier if somebody else breaks/stretches it during sex because they can't feel your sensitivity to pain. Weirdly, a lot of people are more capable of tolerating pain when they're not inflicting it on themselves because then they're not anticipating it or dragging it out out of fear.Yes, this is exactly why I want my boyfriend to do it. By now I'm too scared even to make attempts. I hope it's just anxiety tricking me.
>>156161Shit no, I hope not. I don't need that mess in my life… Regarding tampons, I generally don't use them but I tried once and threw it in the trash 20 seconds after because I felt my vagina too dry around it (it was like the third or fourth period day, so there wasn't much blood left to "lube"), can't even remember if it was all in.
Anyway iirc vaginismus is pretty serious because it's psychological and you have to do psychotherapy and now my anxiety is increasing because I can't afford a psychotherapist. Really don't need that shit, I just want to have sex like normal people do.
>>156162Thank you, it was interesting. I knew hymen thins out during early life and teenage years, but I didn't know pain was not inflicted by the hymen at all.
No. 156175
>>156174>vaginismus needs a psychotherapist I'm not disagreeing with you, with that stuff you need all the help you can get, but I just want to offer you a little hope that you can still manage alone.
I had it really bad all through my teenage years, and actually as cliche as it sounds what made it to away was to stop trying. My relationship broke down for various reasons, I spent time alone, I had nice alone time exploring my body in baths without any particular aim. The next time I had a boyfriend I didn't expect to be cured bit surprised I was. Sometimes it comes back, I've learnt to not fight it. Sorry that this is just a story rather than advice though. And definitely get professional help of you can