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File: 1523249391653.gif (696.68 KB, 874x1182, 1517810487714.gif)

No. 78523

>Think you have a great guy freind.
>later reveals that he wants a romantic relationship.
>basically just spoke to you so he could fuck your pussy.
>When you decline he never speaks to you again.

I have lost contact with most of the guys who I thought were genuinely my friends this way.

This is the worst sort of betrayal. I've come to find that a lot of women think they have male friends when, in reality, there is always an ulterior motive.

Do you think there is even a point in making friends with men?

Do you think men and women can be friends?

No. 78526

File: 1523250156620.jpg (19.24 KB, 500x380, 1424536912550.jpg)

In my personal experience, very rarely.

Men mostly befriend women thinking they might fuck us. Even if we are in a relationship, we are never fully respected in that sense.

I have three male friends, all of them have made it clear that I am not their type, hence I am not on their "fucklist". I'm fine with that, we have fun chatting, but I will never trust 100% in a man. I did it in the past and I regret it.

Men don't respect women the same way they will respect men. I rarely would trust anyone easily, much less a man.

No. 78527

>>78523
I’ve had this happen to me too a million and one times. It would happen to my female friends too. I feel like most females have had this occur with them “friendzoning”. I’ve even known male friends that this has occurred to with females only being friends with them to date them or be there boyfriend. And it results in being rejected, and then dropping you and never talking to you again (bc they know they can’t fuck you so no use trying to pretend to be friends anymore) or staying your friend and awkwardly and uncomfortably keep hitting on you and continuously asking you out no matter how many times you say “no”.

I figured out eventually the best way Is, unfortunately, to either be in a serious longish term relationship (bonus points if bf is friends with your male friends, so they’ll be less likely to violate guy code) or to act extremely bro-ish/act like a frat dude around them. It tricks them into seeing you more on par with their guy friends. Even though you have tits, your personality is more like that of a male friend, so in their mind you’re a male friend and therefor unfuckable.

Like acting bro to the point of “what I couldn’t fuck her! Wtf I’m not gay!” dupery

It sucks but it’s suprisingly comfortable after a while. You get to spit in front of them, and say way more vulgar shit. Even if you’re not that kind of girl. It helps to try to be the most alpha, bro, most vulgar out of all the male friends. So not only do they not hit on you, and you can maintain a genuine true friendship w/ no agenda but they also respect your boundaries way more.

That’s the best and most effective advice I have experienced after many years of perfecting. Even to the point of turning creepy homeless/pervert construction works into bitches who don’t want to fuck me.

Was there some certain event or male friend that did this to you? I’m assuming that’s what caused you to make the thread?
What happened if you don’t mind me asking
/long post

No. 78528

>>78527
>bonus points if bf is friends with your male friends, so they’ll be less likely to violate guy code

My point exactly, men will respect other men but can't respect a woman. Men are trash and I don't even know why I bothered being "one of the guys" in the past, just to be backstabbed, objectified, put in the fuckzone (as I would call, the other side of the friendzone, when the other person just wants to fuck when you want to be friends), not taken seriously, gaslit, used for emotional labour or money, because I thought we were friends I would be paid back, but men just don't give a shit about us and even as "friends" we are just devices for them to use and dump when they don't need us anymore.

No. 78530

File: 1523251305408.jpg (45.39 KB, 600x585, 1522895494038.jpg)

>>78527
I've calmed down after making the thread, it just hurts to lose someone who I had a lot of history with.

It's not a very interesting story but what basically happened was, this guy had started talking to me a year and a half ago and slowly I began to trust and enjoy his company. However, just today he told me that he thought I was amazing, how much he valued the time we spent together, and then gave me a poem he wrote (was actually really good).

It was all super sweet but I didn't want to date him, what I wanted was a Freind and it killed me to turn him down because I didnt want our relationship to end.

>>78528
I think men just don't want to fuck other men. Men don't really have standards as to what they are willing to date, wheras, women do.

No. 78533

>>78530
Men do have standards otherwise you would see ugly men dating all the time. They won't date their own tier. They have high standards, on the level of bashing someone on the internet for having darker genitals or body hair.

Men don't want to fuck other men, yes, but when a woman says she is a relationship, it's like nothing. Very few will actually respect and take in consideration she is not interested.

No. 78535

>>78533
We don't see ugly men dating because ugly women have standards. I think that men just don't and never will have the sexual market value women have in general.

No. 78536

>>78535
Get out, robot.

No. 78537

>>78536
This should be common sense. Why else would my situation of having to reject men be so universal to all women. A man will fuck anything, women won't.

No. 78538

File: 1523253191397.jpg (142.75 KB, 780x538, the-cast-of-its-always-sunny-i…)

I'm friends with men but it's because i wound up in a prexisting male friend group so nobody feels special and I don't get fuckzoned. Some of them think I'm hot but that's not a crime and I'm so gross and unhinged and neurotic around them that I think it turns everyone off from seeing me in a serious romantic light, I kinda feel like Sweet Dee. One on one male friendships I usually end up getting fuckzoned.

No. 78545

>>78538
i'm in basically the exact same situation right now, we all even leased an apartment together. it's fun but sometimes frustrating because they don't really get certain parts of the ~~girl experience~~ or whatever. but we're all learning, it's good.

i'm still constantly on my guard around men, even with these guys for a loooooong time, and sometimes i don't feel as safe around some of my friends when they're drunk.

No. 78546

i have tons of cool guy friends. i am also engaged now so that helps. my super cool friend used to have a rule and would tell his friends to fucking leave me alone. he and i have a brother/sister type relationship and have never been attracted to eachother so it's good. i think it's rare tho.

No. 78547

>>78537
Except it's not. Women have to go under a lot of things to be considered desired. Diet, makeup, hair, dress for their type, not too slutty but not too prude, can't be too crazy or too dull.

No. 78551

>>78547
Sure we do those things to look pretty but that doesn't change the fact that we have have higher sexual market value. If you or I wanted a boyfriend it would take seconds,If I want sex I'll get it much easier than a man can. This is basic stuff.

Just because we put more effort into our looks dosnt somehow aide your point that me reject women more often because of high standards. It's always been the other way around, we do the rejecting most often because we find men less attractive on average than men do for women.

No. 78553

>>78551
You could have a shitty robot tier bf in a minute, certainly true. But most women have standards, beauty, manners, stability, etc, you can't find that in most males.

No. 78554

>>78545
Your a women alone with a group of men in an apartment? Why not room with women?

What are the odds they joke about gang banging you, or some other male oriented humour. I wouldn't like it unless one of them was my boyfriend.

No. 78555

>>78553
My point exactly.

No. 78557

>>78551
lol why are robots here?

No. 78561

I'd say it's important to differentiate from a guy who just wanted to fuck you and a guy who developed feelings for you. If I fell for one of my guy friends and he rejected me, I'd want to cut that off too. It's just painful and awkward. It's sad to lose a friend but you gotta respect that kind of thing. That's why friendships between men and women are tricky.

Of course, if he really just wanted a fuck he's better off out of your life, so it works out either way.

No. 78562

File: 1523261516079.png (298.87 KB, 445x450, 1C089775-2091-4C9C-B1DA-16DF50…)

>>78528
>the fuckzone
>opposite of friendzone
Fucking genius that shit needs to be put in Webster’s dictionary

>used for emotional labor or money

Why the fuck are guys now-a-days using girls constantly for money. Or the girl has a job and fully supports their neet bf?
It used to be the complete opposite. And now I see girls all the time supporting their shitty bfs and using girls like sugar daddies, or begging for money. In the most manipulative emotional ways. Even other guys are warning girls on social media to never ever tell guys on the internet how much money you have, or what you make, or what job you, family class, anything financial and to fake poor and to just say you’re a broke student or something when they ask. And when the money or labor stops, poof & they’re onto the next sucker.

esp social media personalities, a guy who I talked to for a year who kept saying he cared about me and worried about me, would beg me for PayPal and streaming donations, even when I was in the hospital for surgery, an hour after I lost my job, when I had septicemia with a fever of 104, demanded I walk to western union and send him money for some bs lie, ended up passing out walking there and being ambulanced, with him blowing up my phone pretending he cared while in the same breath asking me to finish the western union “you better hurry anon I don’t have much time!” “Plz just send it and we’ll talk about it later promise” “I swear I’ll pay you back this time I HATE ‘borrowing’ money for a girl it’s soooooo embarrassing” but kept aggressively asking for more, saying I didn’t care if I didn’t, threaten to kill himself, give up his social media, never paid back, in the worst most manipulative way, pretending like he was sooo worried something awfulll had happened when I shut off my phone just to not have to hear him shamelessly beg or have to give him money. I felt so retarded/stupid and ghosted him permanently, he’s still doing it to other girls right as I speak

A youtuber was recently exposed for doing this to a fan with receipts, it was internal cringe in the worst way (it ended when he faked being beaten up by a loanshark saying he needed Money now and it turned out to be his friend and it was all fake) and according to recent statistics women have been growing in number of the gender that most supports their significant other, mainly men. Also “working for free” for boyfriends just to be cheated or dumped.

No. 78563

>>78551
most loser men could get girlfriends on the immediate if they settled for dating within their own tier. you're telling us that if we settle for far below what we're worth, we can find a boyfriend quickly? AMAZING! any fucking body can manage that shit.

No. 78564

>>78553
>>78555
Lmao then you have incels who put 0 effort into their apparence, personality, or life goals but demand a 9/10 stacy that does everything they refuse to do and are outraged if it doesn’t happen in a minute. At least the women try and maintain themselves, and realize it takes more time for more quality. Theyre are men who think just like incels but at least maintain appearances and have a job and they get laid, even if they’re genetically ugly.

No. 78565

Women have it hard in this world; female friendships are unstable and hard to connect on interests and men don't even value frienship with you thus the invention of friendzone.

No. 78566

>>78565
Of the word "friendzone" used negatively to make it clear.

No. 78567

I'm currently in the friendzone of my male friend. I feel like I'm doing something wrong.

No. 78568

>>78567
Isn't it a good thing that your friend see you as a friend? Do you have any self esteem?

No. 78569

>>78568
i agree, but i think the point is that that anon is interested in more with this guy. ideally, i think functional, healthy relationships DO and should come about as a result of friendship, but only if you're obviously both attracted to each other. i don't think relationships are worthwhile without developing a friendship first.

the problem is that these high on themselves loser men cannot cope with rejection and the concept of BOUNDARIES in general, and they assume that we have NOOOO idea what it's like for our male friends to not want to have sex with us. we do, but who cares if they don't want to fuck us, even if we want them? we generally pick up and move on and just value our friendship for what it is: friendship that isn't destined to be anything more than that.

like, the only men that are wanting to fuck ALL of the women they're friendly with are losers. normie men don't want to date all their friends.

however, i can see how it would be difficult to maintain a friendship w someone you're totally head over heels with, if they were very in your face about their sex life/romantic life.

No. 78571

I recently lost contact with a long-time friend after exactly this. He got mad because another mutual male friend liked me. This has happened several times already since I was a teenager, too. Sometimes they just cut contact and most times they get mad I won't date them.

I think men make fine friends for casual stuff like the ocassional hangout, but I refuse to trust them for serious stuff. Plus if they have few female friends they'll treat you like their mom and then cry and fall for you because you are so "special" and "treat the well".
Honestly, I think the problem is that men don't usually confide in their male friends about their problems, so when a woman helps them with that they go bonkers.

No. 78577

File: 1523275039718.png (105.26 KB, 500x397, sighs.png)

I had majority male friends growing up and none ever hit on me. I was actually friendzoned myself by one of them, kek.

I would say it's because I was ugly and strange, but I'm currently scrubbed up and healthier (maybe a solid 6 now) and still no one develops feelings for me. I work with mostly men at the moment and no one has ever shown interest. A few male strangers have been nice/nervous in an 'I'm attracted to this girl' way, but no one who I spend time with on the regular likes me that way.

Maybe I just give off bad vibes.

Also, my current best friend is a straight guy (and someone I've been friends with for ages) and I think it works because he's actually fucking emotionally intelligent. Some men aren't that way or weren't socialized to see women as people.

I also agree with what >>78561 said. Sometimes feelings just happen, and the guy didn't go into the friendship thinking 'every hole's a goal.' Sucks.

No. 78579

File: 1523278940059.png (207.11 KB, 255x292, f5083105bfd324d58599488645c3fd…)

I've always had male friends, not because i'm like GIRLS R DRAMA!!!type of person but my interests and type of conversations have always lead me to befriending males more easily than girls, but these days i'm so tired of trying to keep friendships with them
I try joining groups where males are like ''WE H8 ONLINE GIRLS WE'RE NOT ORBITERS'' etc cos even though they're mean sometimes it's like well at least they're not falling inlove with me or some weird shit just bc i talked to them for 2 days but whenever i start talking to any of them privately…it ends up happening
recent case being this guy I really enjoyed talking to, we spent like only 2-4hrs for like 3 days talking and watching a show together then when we finished the show he says he likes me
and now the friendship is ruined bc even though i really do enjoy talking to him i can't see him as romantic interest
It sucks bc i geniunely enjoy a lot of the conversations with males and even if they fell for me i kinda wish they'd like keep it a secret and just be satisfied with having friendship idk why they always have to try and take it to the next level or don't think that it could make both of us uncomfortable if it doesnt end well.
Another case of this happening recently aswell is me hearing about how my friend thought I wanted to date him because I played a few games with him for few days and talked to him often???
sorry for the rant but i'm so tired of this happening i just want friends i enjoy talking to without any weird shit happening but its so hard i've just ended up becoming a loner except for the cutie girls i talk to when theyre not busy tbh

No. 78580

i have a lot of guy friends, even close ones and long term ones

my secret formula was cutting ties with fucking everyone life threw me together with on random and moving onto people that are more like me, intentionally. i've had a lot of guys use me in high school and they can die tomorrow for all i care

No. 78581

A few years back I had two male friends who I met online and we had all planned to meet up because they lived only an hour away from me. They were best friends irl and had been since like grade one… we’ll call them boy A and boy B.
They both had a crush on me, but I’d tell them we were just friends etc… over time I did start to gain feelings for boy B. And we would get kind of flirty.
I would Skype privately with them both at various times or call and they both were aware it wasn’t like a ~special~ thing to skype privately…
one night boy B and I had planned a one on on skype and it went pretty late, and boy A signed on and saw us both online and assumed (correctly) that we were in a call. I kept my feelings for boy B on the DL because I didn’t want to hurt boy A’s feelings, so in calls with both of them I wasn’t overly flirty or suggestive etc.
However, boy A was sooooo angry that I was in a skype call late at night with boy B (even tho we’d done that together too and it meant nothing) that it turned into this massive fucking fight. Boy A stopped talking to me, and boy B told me he couldn’t talk to me either because he needed to save his friendship… I felt like shit cause I lost two great friends over nothing.
A year later boy A reaches out to me and we become somewhat friends again, although I was bitter over him ending our friendship over something so small …. I found out that he still wasn’t friends with boy B again and that I was the reason…. he also would show up to where I was living at the time unannounced so we could hangout because I kept blowing him off via text..
needless to say we’re not friends anymore lol

No. 78593

What OP says is true and has happened to me many times, but I've also had the chance to see that it's not always true. I have pretty close guy friends, some of them single, some of them in a relationship, and our relationship is 100% platonic. Some of them "tried" in a way before, but as soon as they saw it wasn't going to happen they didn't cut me out or anything. Not being an entitled manosphere-obsessed neckbeard also helps.

No. 78594

I have one close guy friend who is like my brother and who has never been interested in me and vice versa. All the others have been interested and bitter after realising nothing will happen, although they got over it and we are friends now.

Dunno why it worked out so well with my best guy friend. Maybe we look fairly similar so it would be creepy to be attracted to eachother? We have a pretty similar sense of humour and interests, so I am happy there is nothing other than friendship between us.

No. 78597

File: 1523288354839.gif (1.62 MB, 640x360, 1395983617427.gif)

I used to have mainly guy friends, but I lost all of the current ones due to my asshole ex.

Then I got mainly girl friends and it's so much better. Sure you won't click all the way, but there's an underlying mutual respect among each other and giggling at stuff together is nice. It's made me more proud of my gender, instead of arrogant about it (lol I'm the only girl here, amirite guys) with guy friends.

Used to think guys were easy to be friends with when it's actually the opposite. I just needed to get over my fear of talking to fellow women.

No. 78598

>>78594
yeah, nah. Unless he told you he is gay, he wants to fuck you hard.

No. 78600

>>78597
This happened to me as well anon. I was one of those "guys are so much better, I'm not like other girls" girls but after I actually made friends with other females I found them to be much more enjoyable, sincere and friendlier than the men I used to hang out with.

No. 78601

>>78598
that's not necessarily true. you do realize there are guys that have certain types/don't necessarily want to fuck everyone? my fiance had numerous female friends that came onto him and wanted to take his virginity, but he wasn't into them and did only want the kind of friendship that's more common with females (more mutual emotional support). i've had guy friends that have said i'm too skinny for their taste, look too 'white' (from guy friends that prefer latinas), etc.

No. 78602

>>78601
>That humble brag

I used to try to make friends with males numerous times just because I always felt like I have more common interests with them but I gave up. One thing that particularly annoyed me was how pissy and posessive they'd get whenever I would talk about my boyfriend or other male friends. Males have a hard time looking at girls as anything other than potential partners and I can assure that 99% of farmers' "male best friends" wouldn't hesistate for a second if they had the chance to fuck you.
Really, anons, save yourself the struggle and just find female friends. Not only they are less judging, posessive and annoying but they will also genuinely care about you - something I've never experienced from guys.

No. 78605

This tbh, I've had good male friends, the second they come to the realization they won't fuck you they cry and play victim


Once had several male friends cry and play victim because I got a boyfriend and claimed how I should have dated so and so who exposed his exes nudes because "he would have treated me better" like lmfao what's wrong with men

And male roommates are NEVER a good idea unless you have another female there,once had a male roommate, when we first moved in we had to sleep on one bed and he would always get really creepy and gross and try to touch me despite him having a gf, once I was watching streams and he started crying and playing victim because I didnt wanna fuck him despite revealing to me he wasnt always horny but did it for ego, later when I told him to stop stealing my shit and getting tickets in my car which he stole he kicked me out and claimed it was because I asked his friend if he was at their house


Men are the absolute worse, I wish they never exist

No. 78606

File: 1523292948729.gif (1.58 MB, 500x278, original.gif)

>male-female friendship is a myth
>feels bad man

No. 78608

>>78598
He has a girlfriend, and before he got together with her he had a hardcore crush/kinda girlfriend. Never showed any interest in me. If he was interested in me he would have had plenty of time to show it, since we have been friends for 3 years now.

If he was even slighty interested in me, he wouldn't have been so genuinely happy when I started dating his best friend. All of my other guy friends got pissy. But not him, because he has no feelings for me.

No. 78610

>>78608
if he has a girlfriend that's a different story then.

No. 78611

>>78601
My fiancé was the same, he had tons of girl friends growing up, as his guy friends were all very surface level and never talked about real shit lol…. also he grew up very close to his sister and I think that can effect a mans ability to have a proper platonic relationship with other females. The girls he was friends with were actually all very similar to his sister, and all very different from me and the other girls he dated.
I do think it’s possiblw to have female-male friendships without wanting to fuck, and they can even survive if one has a crush on the other and gets over it…. it all just depends if they truly value you as a person lol

I had a guy friend who I was super close with and he was into me but he knew I didn’t feel the same at all…. once he got a gf we haven’t spoke (not for lack of trying from my side)
If it wasn’t for it being engrained in peoples heads that you can’t have opposite sex friendships than it’d be less of a big deal when u find out ur bf has a friend who’s a female (and in a relationship herself???)

No. 78614

I've never had this problem, but I'm not the type that's very popular with guys either. Besides one good internet friend I've met up with a couple times, I don't really hang out with men one-on-one for us to develop any real friendship.

How do you guys act around them when this happens?

No. 78615

Never experienced this - my 3 best friends are guys and they've been in my life since I was around 10 (24 now). All are straight and have / had girlfriends, none have ever made any kind of pass at me. I see then pretty consistently still, at least once a week.

I'd also wouldn't say I'm unattractive as I've been in several relationships myself, but they clearer aren't interested in me. Likely it helps that I've known them for so long, I suspect I've achieved some kind of surrogate sister complex to them.

No. 78619

Honestly, what's with the guy bitterness? Girls and guys can be friends with no feeling of awkwardness.. Maybe it's just because I study a male dominated major, but I've never had many problems of such nature.

Yes, some of my friends have had crushes on me, but they've been respectful and moved on when I wasn't interested or dated someone else. My guy friends are genuinely respectful human beings who don't see me as a piece of meat. They actually listen to me when we have conversations..
Perhaps if ALL guys have been acting like that to you, maybe you should see how you portray yourself to others.
Just my $0.02.

>inb4 a farmer says I'm ugly, wrinkly, obese kek

No. 78620

>>78619
And perhaps you have been trying to be friends with guys who have less than honourable intentions, which doesn't mean all of them are scumbags.

No. 78621

>>78619
I don't think it's fair to say that it's the woman's fault, plenty of guys are desperate and take any friendliness from a cute girl either as a sign they're star crossed lovers or as proof she's DTF. You can't really know if the guys is going to be delusional before knowing him a little.

No. 78622

>>78621
Yes I agree, but anons saying that all guys want to get into their pants or that all of them are scumbags? That's what reels my mind.

No. 78624

>>78602
it's not a humble brag. i come from a hispanic area and my hispanic guy friends pretty much only want curvier/thicker latin girls, not "skinny white girls". that's why i said taste plays into whether or not they are actually interested. people might assume anyone that isn't objectively hideous would be desirable to most/all men if they're friends, but it's really not the case.

No. 78625

I've tried to be friends with guys and it always ends up with le bang (initiated by them)

I am attractive but not "sexy" - small chest, feminine. They should be able to resist but Apparently Not. I don't talk about sexual things or try and initiate in any way.

Also have trouble (no trouble -making- but trouble enjoying) female friends because all they talk about is men but I like talking about vague concepts and "things", not people. Also a lot of competing re: Life achievements, appearance etc.

Men also seem to be gentlemanly online for a REALLY long time but then just jump my bones irl. Shit is disappointing. The ones who are gentlemanly in person don't seem interested in me enough to pursue a friendship so I'm kinda stuck.

No. 78627

Grew up pretty hideous and fat, so my story's a bit different but maybe still relevant.

Every guy I've ever befriended has made sure I know I'm ugly (without me coming onto them, because even if I did like them I was way too shy for that shit,) while also reminding me they could fuck me if they wanted to.

Like "oh, anon? Yuck, no way! She looks like a guy. If I wanted to hit that I would have already." That sort of thing.

So yeah needless to say I don't have guy friends these days. I'm less fat and hideous than I used to be but I don't doubt more of that shit would be in my future if I gave having guy friends another shot.

No. 78628

>>78625
Just to add: Reviews from exes (unasked for)
-warm, friendly, good company
-intelligent, funny, good company

So it isn't a personality issue per se

No. 78629

>>78627
makes a face those guys seem like shits

I'm wondering if there is some perfect equilibrium between being attractive but them being able/happy to be friends without trying for the sex or dismissing on sexual grounds

Or maybe just growing up together is the thing

No. 78634

I do have a couple genuine male friends but a lot of the time it just devolves into them asking me out and getting pissed at me or breaking off contact when I reject them, even if I try to do it kindly but firmly. I'm a lesbian and I always try and mention that as soon as possible so I don't get accused of leading anyone on and hopefully nip any potential crushes in the bud but even then I think a lot of guys view lesbians as something like a challenge. Though I really don't think it's impossible for men and women to be friends, but there's more potential for awkward situations.

No. 78635

>>78523
I've lost several friendships with guys after they've confessed to me. It's awful, you really enjoy spending time with them but it's never the same after that. I have one long term close male friend but he just came out. Is it just something about testosterone that fucks with them? I've had female friendships that survived a failed romantic relationship.

No. 78636

>>78600
I'm so glad about not having to worry if a friend falls in love with me, and I don't need to play video games to fit in either (I don't care about them much).

I also love talking about how men suck over some drinks too.

No. 78637

I've never had a male friend.
Girls can already be mean, but guys…

No. 78638

>>78635
I had a friend of several years confess to me, I rejected him, he cried and it was awful. Anyway to preempt the inevitable friendship failure I purposefully distanced myself from him, basically stopped hanging out with him full stop and barely speak to him - blatantly ignoring messages, putting the bare minimum into responses, etc. I've been doing this for literally at least a year or two by now, but he still fucking tries to talk to me ALL THE TIME. He occasionally asks me to do awkward inappropriate things (like travel interstate for a concert, or inviting himself to a performance of mine which is obviously just for family and close friends to watch).

I'm sure he's still interested but he would have to be delusional to think I will ever want him, he's a 30 year old virgin nerd and not arrogant so I find it hard to imagine he thinks being persistent will win me over. I wish I got one of the guys who just ditch you because at least then I won't have to keep up awkward semi friendships over text. I don't want to be cruel so maybe one day he'll get the hint from my constant ignoring.

No. 78640

i have male friends because girls into my hobbies are generally nuts/attention whores. the "btw i'm a girl" type who derail everything. they also tend to be super insecure and have huge egos that makes them seemingly jelly of any attention any other girls get. i love all my girl friends a lot but they just don't like some of my hobbies.

No. 78641

>>78636
I've vented to some friends about my ex and they always respond with "what an asshole, I would never do that, anon!"
I've never seen any of my female friends do that shit, I know some of them are just a bit insecure but it's getting a tad annoying.

No. 78643

>>78641
God, that just sounds really annoying. It's like they want to assert that they'd treat you right, but insert themselves into your issues.

OT but a lot of my acquaintances from tumblr/older times are so, so, so egotistic. You can't tell them anything without an immediate
>oh yeah when IIIIII had that
> MY experiences with it
>this is how IIIIIII felt about it
It's so annoying, it's like they never learned how to conduct a proper, supportive conversation with active listening without making everything about them. It's not supportive at all to tell someone you're not feeling good and they're like "mood" or "lmao me too". It's insensitive.

No. 78648

>>78568
I want him to be my boyfriend, but he doesn't want to be.

No. 78649

>>78597
>Sure you won't click all the way
Why is that? I've never had a lot of friends, male or female, but why is it that you wouldn't click as well with other women?

No. 78650

>>78649
nta but many women seem really pressured to not enjoy stuff fully. i have a lot of friends who are considered normie, but are super interested in my 'weird' hobbies/interests despite not sharing them 100%, it's like a flicker of light in their eyes that shows they want to break free of their mold, but they don't really. i have like 2 sane female friends who i 100% click with, but the rest are like shit weebs or normies and no in between for some reason.

No. 78661

>>78649
I don't mesh too well with normal girls (ie, my current gal friends). I'm girly but I don't know much about makeup and gushing over Harry Styles isn't my thing.

Girls that have nerdy hobbies don't mesh well with me either. I'm nerdy but I'm not on that level of nerd.

It took me a long time to realize that you don't have to mesh to enjoy each other's female friendship.

No. 78665

>>78638
Sounds like he has serious problems. You're not responsible for how he feels after having a strained relationship for years. Sounds like you tried and failed boundaries and he keeps abuses your "kindness"

No. 78675

A guy wants to get into your panties unless:
- He has a serious girlfriend when you first met, or
- You met him before hitting puberty (for men that's about 12 years old), or
- You showed him some obvious sign of long-term relationship (wear rings or tell them you have a serious partner; yes guys actually look at your hands if there any signs of relationships). He might stop contact afterwards.

Your friendship with male friend does not fulfill any of the criteria above? He wants to fuck you.

No. 78676

>>78675
lol no.

No. 78678

>>78676
Could you elaborate on that? This thread confirms almost all of it. Except obvious things like when he's gay.

No. 78679

>>78678
you serious? just a quick scan is mostly people saying "i'm friends with guys no problem" and only the first few say they have issues. also, there's a difference between guy friends and friendly guys who just want to fuck you.

No. 78681

>>78679
Then instead of a "quick scan", do a full scan of the thread. The original question was "Do you think men and women can be friends?" and here are most of the answers which show a leaning to yes or no:

Leaning no/strongly leaning no:
>>78526
>>78527
>>78528
>>78530
>>78537
>>78565
>>78569
>>78571
>>78579
>>78581
>>78593
>>78597
>>78598
>>78600
>>78602
>>78605
>>78611
>>78621
>>78625
>>78634
>>78635
>>78638

Leaning yes/strongly leaning yes:
>>78546 (but married)
>>78577 (but met before puberty)
>>78580
>>78594 (but male friend has girlfriend)
>>78601 (but has fiance)
>>78614 (but does not hang out with men)
>>78615 (but met before puberty)
>>78619
>>78640

Feel free to add anyone I have missed. As it seems, only thee replies are not covered by the short list from >>78675, which unfortunately makes that list extremely accurate.

No. 78682

>>78675
This is painfully accurate.
There is no such thing as "friendzone". There is only whiny babies that thought being friends gives you a free pass to someones knickers.

No. 78683

>>78619
hey, miss us with that "maybe it's u" shit

No. 78692

>>78681
dude, you even show that 1/3rd of the posts are yes and yet you're trying to twist them to get your point. and you also ignored 3 or 4 posts that expressed it without anything you could explain away. fucking autism

No. 78693

>>78683
>>78619
>Perhaps if ALL guys have been acting like that to you, maybe you should see how you portray yourself to others.

LOL what. How are you supposed to alter the genetic makeup of a guy's brain? I promise you all of us who only get sexualized by guy friends are not sitting in our panties giggling about how much we love dick at the time.

Concise Anon covered it nicely here: >>78681

No. 78712

>>78681
anon you listed me as leaning no even though I think it's possible for men and women to be friends ?
in fact, i even said people who have it engrained in their heads that its impossible no matter the situation are a big part of the problem ..

i get everyone will have different opinions due to personal experience etc so there is really no right answer.

some men really do just wanna fuck, and some men really dont. theres no rule or guideline behind it.
if youi dont agree than thats fine but you look silly literally making your own little poll to prove your thinking.

No. 78714

>>78712
Thanks anon, my bad. If I understood you correctly, from your experience with your fiance and for other reasons, you think that such friendships are possible. And also that someone broke off contact with you (i.e. not friends anymore) after he could not have a sexual relationship with you and moved on to another girlfriend. That puts you in the mixed block, i.e. in neither leaning yes/strongly yes or no/strongly no, which I have not listed.

>if youi dont agree than thats fine but you look silly literally making your own little poll to prove your thinking.


It might look silly, and that is indeed true, but the previous anon said that "only the first few say they have issues", which is clearly not the case. What is the best way to disprove something like that? It might look silly, but sometimes it is effective; I don't care if I am called autistic by other anons. Also, only by aggregating data and transcending from individual anecdotal stories one gets a broader picture.

>>78692
No, I am trying to be honest and I am not trying to twist those posts to get my point.

My point is: I have provided a list of three criteria for determining if someone wants to put you in his "fuckzone", as someone else creatively phrased it in this thread. All parentheses in the second block show the application of these three criteria; plus there is one person who does not hang out with men (i.e. one does not even get to apply these criteria, as there is no one to apply these criteria on!).

So what of this could be called twisting in order to prove a point? It is a correct application of the previously laid out criteria.

And as you can see, only three replies do not fulfill any of the three criteria but still are leaning yes/strongly leaning yes. As explained in the beginning of this reply, if we take that one reply out, we still have 30 entries.

That is 3/30, or 10%.

I would say these three rules hold up pretty well, because – like it or not – it seems that the data does support it and the data does not care how one feels about it.

>and you also ignored 3 or 4 posts that expressed it without anything you could explain away.


Could you please elaborate or cite the post numbers? I did not post any mixed replies, as they are not leaning yes or no, as described in the original post. If I missed one, please reply.

Thank you for your kind input.

No. 78723

>>78675
Unless your ugly and unattractive. I'd kill to have a guy want to be with me.

>Humble brag the thread

No. 78727

>>78723
You know some guys are attracted to sweet personalities too. Don't lose hope anon.

No. 78728

You are not entitled to a guy's friendship just like they are not entitled to sex/relationships. Get over it.

No. 78729

>>78728
No one is acting entitled tho? We're sharing our experience of men faking (or using) friendship as a mean to get into our pants.

No. 78730

>>78728
None is acting entitled, fuckface, it's just that, if you act like a friend towards someone, the least the other side expects is friendship.

No. 78733

>>78728

Alright, I'm going to assume you're incapable of reading comprehension or basic empathy and explain this for you. Don't worry, I'll use small words.

The only people in this situation who are entitled are the men who assume female friendship should lead to sex/a relationship, and then abandon their supposed "friend" like she's nothing when she won't fuck them. Women being upset that someone they assumed was their friend abandoning them over something as asinine as sex isn't entitlement, it's a real sense of betrayl. Putting your trust and platonic love into another person only to have the rug pulled out from under you with a "jk lol" is a shitty feeling. For some (not for myself, personally, as I can get over people with relative ease) this feeling lasts a very long time and can make it difficult to form new friendships/trust males.

If you want to complain about how women use men or whatever in a similar fashion, go literally anywhere else on the internet. This is a thread for the majority of women who have been tricked and hurt by this shitty, child-like behavior from men.

No. 78735

Idk what most of you were expecting. Generally speaking romantic relationships are as follows.

Frainds>>dating>>girlfriend/boyfriend

How else do you think people get to know eachother.

No. 78737

>>78728

Found the robot. You gonna cry about it on r/redpill? Muh male discrimination? Poor baby. And people say women are too sensitive.

No. 78738

>>78728
This post tastes like MRA virgin tears.

No. 78740

>>78735
You can be friends with someone even if they don't want to date you. This thread is about guys exclusively wanting to fuck you and pretending to be friends with you just for that.

No. 78741

>>78735
This is about guy faking friendship and not being honest with their intentions how fucking dense are you?

No. 78743

File: 1523382357718.jpg (37.75 KB, 600x381, 5b6.jpg)

>>78729
>>78730
>>78733
>>78737
>>78738

So easy :3(USER HAS BEEN PUT OUT TO PASTURE)

No. 78745

Men don't usually want female friends. They only see women as potential mates. With few exceptions, a guy sees no reason to be your friend other than a chance at fucking you or a chance at dating you. If you kill that possibility he has no reason to keep being friends with a girl, so he'll leave. Men are trash like that.

No. 78754

>>78752
Ew you pig, if you only want sex ask her if she wants too and if she doesn't just fuck off, you'll most likely look like a disgusting creep, how weird to befriend someone just because you want to shag them.

No. 78755

>>78752
Hit on her or ask her on a date. You just said fuck, you don't need to become her bff just for a bit of sex.

No. 78766

>>78551
Actually, men have higher standards than women while women tend to be more realistic, though they judge appearance, etc. harsher than men. It's an interesting study by OkCupid, I'll have to find the link.
>>78619
Funny, I'm in a male dominated major and and I am completely alone because every friendship or fuck, even acquaintanceship with a male ends up with it being awkward because they want me. Some have responded like psychos, some have responded respectfully, but at the end of the day, I'm alone. Eh. The few girls in my STEM major tend to be very masculine and don't like to talk to other girls, it seems. I come off as very feminine and when I've said I have certain "nerdy" interests (that tbh are mainstream) people don't believe me.

>>78728
lmao, no one is saying they are ENTITLED to a friendship with a man. They're just saying it sucks that you care about a person in a certain way and then it turns out a person was only interested in you for one thing.

What really sucks is that telling some guy you just met "btw I'm not looking for a relationship" is considered pretentious of you, but if you turn down a guy and you've talked like, maybe 3 times, you're an asshole who leads him on.

What's also crazy to me is that even if you say you're with someone and even if you're lesbian (I've been in both cases), a lot of guys won't even care.

No. 78768

>>78740
>>78741

That's not what I made this thread about. I made the thread about losing friendships over guys wanting relationships.

No. 78769

>>78768
nta but this thread is shit, take this bitching to the man-hate thread, we don't need more complaining starting up about inane shit. we get it, you hate men, get over yourselves.

No. 78770

>>78769
also i'm super surprised you're surprised at people not wanting platonic relationships with you. platonic relationships are hard to maintain normally, and many women end up thinking they've caught feels, so it's obvious men, who are kind of dumb can't juggle that if women can't even.

No. 78775

>>78769
If they hated men why would they get so attached to these guy friends, or even make them, in the first place?

No. 78778

I had a tight group of guy mates in highschool, one started buying me gifts but also pick on my appearance etc. we fell out when i got a serious bf who was a vegetarian, he would literally throw meat at him and it was cringe. I ended up kissing 2 of the other guys years apart, basically after those shenninagans those guys weren't my friends anymore lol.

Since highschool I've just been friendly with guys in class or work but not endeavouring to hang out with any of them outside of those places and if we do it would be as a group of people. I've even noticed some of the guys you talk with once they get girlfriends they focus more on their male friendships.

There are my boyfriend's guy mates I'll see occasionally but I wouldn't hang out with them alone.

Pretty much every platonic guy friend I thought I had hit on me at one point. I even had my primary school guy best mate hit me up recently and I thought he was gay.

No. 78784

>>78775
the man-hate thread is for bitching about why men suck, which is what they're doing here, plus there are a few people who are cherrypicking and assume their personal experience is everyone else's and that literally everyone just wants to fuck you. like no, get over it. sorry the men you try to befriend suck.

No. 78786

File: 1523401412763.jpg (23.78 KB, 225x350, 987793.jpg)


No. 78792

>Do you think men and women can be friends?
I'm a guy and I have tons of female friends. So I would have to say yes. They can.("male here")

No. 78794

>>78728
i mean, you're not WRONG, but expecting men who claim to be your friend to actually act like a friend is a lot different from expecting sex from female friends and even female acquaintances/strangers.

No. 78796

>>78792
>I'm a guy

No. 78797

>>78735

In my experience absolutely not. Most of my close friends are males, and of those males most of them are in long term relationships. I find the idea of moving from friend->lover super disturbing because friendship is based on the safety of assuming neither of you have ulterior motives, especially (straight) male-female friendships. I can accept that some healthy relationships start from this but I can't imagine it for myself. Almost everyone I've dated I've met and shortly after established that I was interested in dating, there was no long period of platonic "friendship", the motives and attraction were made clear from the start. This is why I prefer online dating, everyone is very clear about their objective. My partner and I made very clear on the first date how many kids we want, how soon we want to by a house etc because why waste time? I've only had one male friend ever "confess his love for me" and I reacted extremely angry and disappointed. He's one of my closest friends, had been for years up until that point, and he should have fucking KNEW BETTER than to lay that bullshit on me. I accept that he's just socially retarded and thought the right thing to do was tell me even though he knew I would never date him, but it was so inappropriate and unnecessary. Hollywood needs to stop romanticizing that situation, it's so cringe.

No. 78799

>>78796
Impossible, right?

No. 78801

>>78799
i'm sure you're telling the truth but it's clear you haven't read the rules before posting

No. 78803

>>78801
"Do not announce your gender or post in a "male here" Oh wow, didn't know this was the female version of r/incels. That's a stupid rule. Especially since my sex was relevant to the question.

No. 78804

>>78803
lol as if that's exclusive to incels and girls who say they're girls on any chanboard don't get immediately called attention whores and GOTIS.

anyway i don't disagree that it's not that big a deal in this type of thread, but it's the rule.

No. 78805

>>78804
That's true. Guys are stupid. You'll have lonely incels in a Discord server, and as soon as a girl joins the guys either try to get nudes or get her kicked.

No. 78806

>>78805
Hey at least you understand. It's not forbidden to divulge your sex in any way ever, but if you say things like "I'm a guy" to preface your posts you're taking a risk. Just like how blogging is against the rules, but there's some instances where it's not a big deal. But if you take that risk, you're always liable to get banned for it

No. 78807

>>78806
Good thing I'm a risk-taking Chad then. Living on the edge!!1

No. 78809

>>78807
It's the same level as annoying as when a girl on 4chan is like "btw girl here~". I understand why sometimes people feel it's prudent to mention it, but it's just unnecessary.

Also, no one uses chad/stacey here seriously. We're not in the habit of redpilling.

No. 78810

>>78806
>girl on 4chan is like "btw girl here~
I agree. But to be fair I don't care about it when it's relevant.

No. 78816

>>78809
>It's the same level as annoying as when a girl on 4chan is like "btw girl here~".
Eh, I think it's more annoying here. Lolcow is a lot smaller and much more directly aimed at a female userbase, we have an actual rule saying that men can't point out their gender whereas it's just a cultural expectation there. Not to mention ~girl here~ posts do tend to get a lot of genuine attention from thirsty nerds, but most people here legitimately don't want or care about male opinions.

No. 78818

File: 1523430224458.jpg (189.05 KB, 1079x593, 1522900534001.jpg)

>>78816
Sounds like you don't care about the correct ones.(USER HAS BEEN PUT OUT TO PASTURE)

No. 78819

I've had a male friend since 2nd grade (both of us are 24 now) and somehow it never became a thing. I suppose because it was such a young friendship it turned more into a sibling feeling. Even when we are both single the idea of any sort of sexual contact has been very bleh. That being said I think this is a rare case that is contingent on the early childhood meeting.

No. 78852

>>78551
>have higher sexual market value.

Lauren Southern, that you?

>a boyfriend would take seconds, sex is easy to get


Oh, nope, just a robot.
Hey robot, you could increase your "sexual market value" too if you'd settle for fatties, autistics, and uggos too. Just like how women drop their standards if they want a quick bf and shit sex.

No. 78853

>>78852
You're really not helping the case for your own gender here, sir.

It's definitely possible… I'm learning that you just have to be careful and pay attention to any red flags that they might be interested in you. Like, if they start calling me cute, they're out.
I lost two guy friends last week, people I've known for almost a decade… It sucked. But looking back, I can see the signs of their fuckboiishness. I think what it comes down to, is that men are okay, but fuckbois have no self control and will fuck you over for a quick hump.

No. 78861

File: 1523475040114.jpeg (67.25 KB, 370x483, 7F080DE5-EA64-4C1A-BD00-E3B4B5…)

>>78853
I agree. I think personality/morals and who the guy is does factor into a guy genuinely being your friend and guy only pretending to be your “friend” to fuck you.

You have factors that lower the fuckzone:
1) long term relationship/engaged/married
2) short term bf, if they’re friends w/ your guy friend(s)
3) masculine girl/act like “on of da guize”/bro-talk
4) knowing the male as a young child
5) the male having a gf (bonus points: longterm) (extra if you’re friends with her)
6) gay/bi
7) being in a close “group” of male friends (being the Dee in its always sunny) as opposed to one-on-one
8) having a brother/sister relationship
9) father/daughter type relationship only works if they’re an older godfather type
10) mother/son type only works if you are older than male (bonus: you aren’t his only female friend)
11) the male friend has several other female friends/experience with female friends
12) you’re ugly
13) casual friendship as opposed to serious
14) longtime coworkers
15) male is anti-orbiter/emotionally intelligent
16) roommate with group of close guy friends/with all male band-mates (instead of you and 1 other guy)
17) Long term platonic pen pal/internet friend
18) Pre-existing family friend/siblings friend
19) Drug user/drug dealer/criminal male friends (bonus: long term associates, strictly business-type, or combo of 1-18, not creepy)
20) single straight male, attractive, your age, who is a combo of above, who treats other girls with respect, and wants a genuine friendship (RARE unicorn)
21) didn’t meet them on social media/know them for short period

I would think of more but I’m really tired. There is always the rare exception for the rule, which is the reason for #21
Anyone have any others to add? Or what NOT to do (red flags)/things that increase the fuckzone?

>fuckzone, fuckzone, FUCKZONE

god I love that word, compliments to the anon who made that.

No. 78862

>>78861
*There is always the rare exception for the rule, which is the reason for #20

Sage 4 typo

No. 78863

>>78861
>tfw always the Dee, never the Waitress

No. 78892

>>78861
Also, if he's your ex and wanted the relationship to end, but genuinely wanted to stay friends

No. 78893

>>78863
You're not missing out on much cause charlie just pump n dumped her and didnt give a shit afterward. It's a surprisingly good reflection of reality. You really don't wanna be the waitress, you're only valuable till you put out. Whereas Dee has fun casually hanging out and gets treated as a person/bird instead of walking vagoo. I love her scenes with Mac when they're trying to act tough

No. 78894

>>78893
yeah plus charlie doens't even know her name or anything about her other than basic external things. being worshipped and obsessed over might seem flattering and nice when you're not used to attention like that, but you end up realizing how disgusting and dehumanizing it feels to be worshipped for an empty flat fantasy version of yourself that someone's dreamed up instead of being appreciated for who you really are.

No. 78903

>>78863
if you want to be anyone, you should want to be artemis

No. 78904

This thread reads like it has been written by literal aliens with extremely odd ideas about human interaction.

No. 78907

>>78904
girl neckbeards are aliens, anon.

No. 78909

Eh I've had genuine guy friends, but they've all been gay so ofc there's no president of wanting to bang. That or losers who know no one wants to fuck them anyway… wow that sounds terrible. But I'm sure if I hung out with them in private they would try it on regardless.

>roommate with group of close guy friends/with all male band-mates


This, my best friend has lots of close male friends and they are all either band/roommates of her boyfriend's band or guys from the circle of bands they play with. I always thought the stereotype was that dudes in bands are scum, but from what I've seen if they are all super close (as usually the case) they won't try anything with their bandmates girlfriends.

So yeah its possible, but its case of what the guys like same with literally anything else. Also if they are older its less likely… befriending a girl just to fuck her is pretty young dude-bro thing too, that behavior stops late twenties when people start to settle down.

No. 78911

No I don't think so
Every male i've tried friendship with relationship-zoned me except my old best friend but even he relationship-zoned me for like a week or so before i told him I dont feel the same and I'm scared this would hurt our friendship.

No. 78915

File: 1523515299899.png (35.16 KB, 499x338, image.png)

>be in online group
>one of the few girls
>have few guys talk to me, we play video games, sometimes in groups
>some guys end up coming to me for advice, just to talk
>soon few start gaining feelings for me

I don't know what I did, I wanted to be a good friend. I wish things were back to normal… because this is all so overwhelming. I just wanted camaraderie.

No. 78916

>>78915
They want penis penis funtime. Just ignore it

No. 78919

I don't understand this thread. If you were befriended with an attractive man, wanting to fuck him wouldn't mean the only reason you talk to him is to have sex, right? You would probably also find him interesting for what he says, his hobbies, etc. But he is also hot, so you also want to fuck him.

The thing is quite simply that women find only few men sexually attractive while men find most women sexually attractive. So men are going to go thorugh scenario #1 much more often than you are, even though I am convinced that any girl would go through scenario #1 granted she finds the guy she is talking with attractive. It just doesn't happen most of the time with guys so you don't notice that it's something that you'd be doing as well.(USER HAS BEEN PUT OUT TO PASTURE)

No. 78922

>>78919
I think majority of people here have a problem with the guys who will throw hissy fits and not want to be friends anymore when they realize you don't want to fuck them or keep bringing it up over and over until you have to end the friendship. Thinking your friend is hot and that you'd hypothetically fuck them isn't a big deal.

No. 78924

>>78919
what >>78922 said. i'm also pretty sure you are a big ol dude yourself :^)

No. 78927

>>78919

Nobody here is saying that being attracted to a friend is bad. They are saying devaluing a human being to a potential fuck while pretending to be their friend, then losing their damn minds when they are rejected, throwing that supposed friendship out the window, is bad.

No. 78933

>>78927
For example:
-The guy who pretends to be your friend for years, so supportive and platonic, and the whole time they're waiting for you to let your guard down, just so they can touch your butt.
-The guy who you traveled cross country with years ago, who has a girlfriend, sending you dick pics out of nowhere and expecting you to be down to 'DtF'.
-The friend who listens to all your problems, and claims 'they're attracted to you but our friendship is so strong that it's more important', who suddenly isn't a friend when you get a boyfriend, and breaks down crying at the mention of other men.
-The friend who talks about hooking up with women, but if you mention that you hooked up with someone who isn't him, he gets offended and leaves in a huff.

It's just a pattern.

No. 78936

>>78933
i've literally never had this happen and never had it happen to my other friends. why are you guys becoming friends with shitty neckbeards?

No. 78937

File: 1523538548258.png (126.79 KB, 400x551, 1476806457405.png)

>>78936
>it never happened to me so it doesn't happen with anyone

No. 78938

>>78937
>i've had it happen so it happens to everyone

see, i can do that too.

No. 78939

>>78937
NTA but why are you being a cunt to someone because their experience is different? The thread is to share experiences, yet you seem so fucking triggered.

No. 78950

What with all the bitter people in this thread? Just because you didn't experience this kind of thing doesn't mean that girls who've experienced it only befriend neckbeards, it's not cool to blame the women who end in that kind of situation… Turn in down a little guys.

No. 78952

>>78602
>that humble brag
wew. stopped reading your post there. stop being so insecure and lose some weight.

No. 78969

>>78950
I can see how people skimming this thread might interpret the posts as man-hating and want to jump in to defend their own male friends. But it's shitty to just dismiss everyone's negative experiences by blaming women for making friends with neckbeards, especially because it's definitely not just online neckbeards that do this shit.

No. 78975

>>78969
yeah lol it's happpened to normie friends of mine who have never even heard of neckbeards. it's just shitty immature guys and they can blend in anywhere

No. 78977

>>78919
>even though I am convinced that any girl would go through scenario #1 granted she finds the guy she is talking with attractive
women still tend to view people who are attractive to them as people. more women don't sperg out on men who reject them, because they recognize they can't control men, whereas men feel entitled to get a date. they objectify girls way more than the opposite.

>>78936
except it mainly happens to me with normies or incognito normies at the very least

No. 79012

>>78977
>women still tend to view people who are attractive to them as people.

Yes. Exactly. The same cannot always be said the other way around.

I think the stealth element of pretending to be your friend for potential lay; or even being a friend for years and then suddenly sending a dick pic, the point is it's all disappointing when you WANT to think well of men. This is not man-hating.
It's I can't believe you pretended to be my friend/you went that far- all for the chance of sex? (ref this post: >>78933 )


Women just can't relate to that and it's also a bit worrisome in the suggestion of "tricking" you into it. There's a lot to it. idk. All I know is it isn't humblebragging and is not nice to experience

No. 79014

>>78977
>because they recognize they can't control men
I think it's also because women feel the burden is on us to be attractive to men. Men feel the burden is on women to be attracted to them. We get rejected and think 'shit, I need to improve my looks/personality', men get rejected and think the woman needs to lower her standards.

No. 79017

>>79014
I knew I was forgetting something, I think that's spot on, too.

No. 79019

>>79012
the main issue you seem to miss is that these people probably aren't just pretending, feelings don't happen immediately, and anyone who's gotten feels for their male friends should realize that. some people might not have bad intentions. you also seem to forget that men are taught specific things, like what women are too. like >>79014 said, men are taught this, just as we're taught that rejection is out fault. many of you guys seem to assume that men should be smarter than they're taught, while also admitting we're taught shit as well that we should know better than to think.

i think the issues are more a matter of how the two genders are taught to act towards eachother, and only when people can break that mold does it work, but most people, men and women are chained to their expectations, and faulting one or the other is stupid…

No. 79020

>>79019
>feelings don't happen immediately

My male work colleague (attractive with a girlfriend) "All men imagine what it'd be like fucking every new girl they meet"

fucking is not feelings. The mistake people make is "*woman feels/thinks ~thing~ so man feels/thinks the same*". Not a great assumption to make, and always disproven at some point. Men and women are different and we shouldn't hold them to the same standards, or project behaviors onto them that aren't there (e.g conflating feelings with fucking)

It's biology and psychology. Not just "nurture". I guarantee some boy who was raised in a cult, or lived in a hut in the woods til adulthood, would end up reverting to typical male behavior. Just because of how he is programmed by testosterone and sex drive. Maybe the friendships are real - the problem is the readiness to set those friendships aflame in a pyre for the chance of some sex.

No. 79022

>>79020
please don't shit up the thread with this garbage.

No. 79024

>>79022
>can't think of an argument against what I wrote
>lalala I don't wanna hear it

No. 79025

>>79024
Like I didn't realize we are only allowed Oprah Winfrey-condoned opinions in thread. Only lovely nice things here!

No. 79033

>>79020

> "All men imagine what it'd be like fucking every new girl they meet"


that's the stupidest shit I've ever read. Not every woman is attractive to every man. Or are you suggesting men want to bang women who remind them of their sister? Or their mom? Or someone ugly or obese? Besides how exhausting that would be considering people meet new people every day, that doesn't even make sense.

It's biology for men to want to reproduce with attractive women, not for them to visualize sex with every woman.

No. 79034

>>79033

I mean the incest and bbw categories in porn prove your first paragraph wrong…actually this guy would also joke about wanting to bang my mom (who he'd never seen) so

I think it's fun for them. More virile men (aka this guy who most of lolcow would think was hot) are probably thinking about it a little more often than a homebody. But I don't doubt it happens.
Remember the "spread the seed" thing, given the opportunity men would sleep with any woman who would take him. I don't know of anyone remembers Russel Brand, but he has said he's slept with 1000 women. A few of them appeared on a documentary to talk about it and were like 3-4/10s even though I've seen RB in real life and he's very handsome.*
He's
a sex addict (reformed) but is a good example of the extremes that are possible.

*I am not one of the 1000

No. 79036

>>79034
Another good example is Screamin Jay Hawkins who is said to have fathered 57 children. He seemed to barely age in decades so…virile man category.

http://www.rockabilly.net/articles/sjhawkins5.shtml

Going off topic a bit but just making the point that given the chance, a virile man will take it, and it's doubtful every one of them will be a babe

No. 79039

>>79036
get this shit out of the thread. you already tried this pseudoscience bs in the anti-mom thread.

No. 79040

>>79039
also you realize that if you make these claims about men, there are similar claims that are true about women, right? not seeing any of those. oh right, this shit is just for show to shit on men. go back to the man-hate thread.

No. 79041

File: 1523595632008.jpg (105.1 KB, 702x1000, MV5BMTUxMzA2Nzk0N15BMl5BanBnXk…)

>>79034

>Remember the "spread the seed" thing, given the opportunity men would sleep with any woman who would take him.


No. This just isn't true at all. Go get some male friends and talk to them like human beings, not bizarre sex robots.

>Russel Brand… he's very handsome


kek

I don't trust your taste in men at all now. I doubt your coworker is even attractive at this point.

And just because some people are into fat chicks or incest doesn't mean its every guy. That's insane.

No. 79044

>>79033
Totally unrelated to the thread, but people do tend to be attracted to people who remind them of immediate relatives in sone way. Both because people with similar genes to you tend to be attractive and some subconscious shit about how the people you grow up around are your first reference point for how you see other people. Kinda creepy but enstranged siblings or parents/children who didn't get the chance to be Westermarck-ed have a high chance of feeling attracted to each other if they meet as adults.

No. 79045

>>79041
He's sexy irl, how'd you think he got all the chix? I saw him in maybe 2008 so I can't speak for now but animal attraction/magnetism is a thing. There's a singer I like who everyone admits is sexy in person but not in photos.

Coworker was muscly and tall with a nice face. Was a good day when I accidentally walked in on him topless in the unisex toilets where we got changed into our uniforms

No. 79047

>>78977
>women still tend to view people who are attractive to them as people. more women don't sperg out on men who reject them, because they recognize they can't control men, whereas men feel entitled to get a date. they objectify girls way more than the opposite.
I agree with this, not just because of my own experiences but because I see that pattern repeated when I hear about other women's experiences as well. Not that there aren't or can't be women who sperg out about being rejected, before anyone comes at my throat for not specifying that. This happened to me awhile back:
>become acquainted with a new friend group
>quickly develop a 1 on 1 friendship with this guy
>he's very supportive
>develop romantic interest in him
>confess my feelings to him
>he doesn't feel the same way, politely turns me down
>inevitably feel hurt, but respect his wishes

It was like ripping off a band-aid, I quickly got over it after that. In hindsight our friendship wasn't really ever the same after that, but I have an aloof personality and sometimes I don't realize I'm distancing myself before it's too late. I understand how that may come across badly. If he came back into my life today I wouldn't have any qualms about resuming a friendship with him though. I never held anything against him.
Now then there was this:

>a couple months later in same friend group

>start getting closer to a different guy
>he shows interest in me
>I'm hesitant, but I go along with it because I like him too
>things quickly develop between us
>he tells me that he isn't interested in anything "serious" though
>again, hurt but I respect his wishes
>kindly ask that we keep our relationship platonic henceforth
>he keeps making awkward passes at me
>keep turning him down
>he acts really hostile towards me for that

I was pissed off for a long time and it took me awhile to realize why. My humanity was completely disregarded in that scenario in which I couldn't even be granted the same amount of courteousy I initially put forth. To this day he probably thinks I'm some type of evil witch seductress for rejecting him.
>inb4 hurr it's your fault for talking to neckbeards
He's a very intelligent and mature person other than that. People aren't black and white, a lot of men just can't properly deal with rejection with due respect for the other person as a human being.

No. 79048

File: 1523599074802.jpg (182.3 KB, 800x592, photomagic(1).jpg)

>>79041
>And just because some people are into fat chicks or incest doesn't mean its every guy. That's insane.


Not every guy, no, but also not a laughable concept…

https://gizmodo.com/what-kind-of-porn-is-most-popular-in-every-state-1761551304

No. 79054

>>79048

are you guys retarded? porn is not reality. I like teacher-student porn. I've never been attracted to any of my actual teachers and thinking about them naked is pretty gross. It's fantasy.

No. 79055

>>79054
so what? by this logic you'd have to defend pedophiles jacking it off to kiddie porn, it's just fantasy right?

No. 79056

>>79047
>women still tend to view people who are attractive to them as people
>My humanity was completely disregarded
>a lot of men just can't properly deal with rejection with due respect for the other person as a human being.
I find these statements deeply ironic since they are said in a thread where men are routinely dehumanized into a mass of walking erections with little to no individuality.

For instance in your first case the breaking of the friendship is because of your personal faults and in the second one because "a lot of men just can't properly deal with rejection".

No. 79057

>>79056
>For instance in your first case the breaking of the friendship is because of your personal faults and in the second one because "a lot of men just can't properly deal with rejection".
Yeah, because there's a stark difference in behavior? Like, I said he acted very hostile towards me when I stuck to my guns about what the both of us agreed would be best in the long run. How is that not taking rejection badly? He had the nerve to act like a hissy little bitch about it when I put in the effort to be understanding of his position, which I did in the first example as well. I don't hold any ill will over being rejected, but many men can't bring themselves to do the same. It's not "dehumanizing" it's simply making an observation.

No. 79059

>>79055
Not really. Teacher-student is a role-based fantasy, pedophilia is a physical attraction to kid's bodies.

No. 79060

>>79055
It's more like pedophiles jacking off to "daddy's girl" porn where a grown woman acts like a little girl.

No. 79061

>>79057
Maybe I was unclear but what happened is pretty irrelevant to the point I was trying to make. I meant that the way you come across is that if anything wrong happened in the first case it was because of your personal faults and not because of your membership in a huge and extremely diverse group X. In the second case you do not attribute the issues to the guy's personality but to his membership in the huge and extremely diverse group Y.

It is the same kind of thinking you sometimes see in /pol/ discussions about crime: criminal act by a white guy happened because the person in question made a bad judgement personally, criminal act by a black guy happened because he is a "nigger".

No. 79063

>>79061
>if anything wrong happened in the first case it was because of your personal faults and not because of your membership in a huge and extremely diverse group X.
Nothing wrong happened after that, things just got awkward and petered out from there.
>In the second case you do not attribute the issues to the guy's personality but to his membership in the huge and extremely diverse group Y.
Maybe because that wasn't even close to being the first time I've had to deal with some petty little fuckboy who huffed at me because he heard the word "no." Maybe because many other women have multuple experiences which are some variation of that.
If that's such a problem men should start flipping the script because there's nothing "hugely and extremely diverse" about how they tend to behave. Just more of the same ol' shit.

No. 79073

Don't engage with robots or handmaidens. These two will stretch any argument to make it look like women are the villains in every single case. It's a waste of time.

No. 79113

>>79073
no one ITT is handmaidens or robots you nut. not everyone who doesn't think men are walking penises is either of those things. you people sound so fucking paranoid and eager to shut down real debate. saying that women have shit men in their life, but that it's not everyone's experience is not blaming anyone.

No. 79116

>>79113
What are you saying? No one thinks men are walking penises, people are sharing their experiences with some men, what even is the point in coming in this thread to post "not all men"? How can you debate something that someone experienced?

No. 79118

>>79116
anon, people are literally saying that a few posts above. and i'm sure the idiot sperging about that is the same one claiming robots and handmaidens. >>79020 is where she really starts. and as far as debate, the topic of the thread is literally do you think men and women can be friends. it's not just about experiences, but people who claim they can and who are trying to have discussion keep getting dogpiled by man-hate shit.

No. 79119

>>79118
I don't see how people disagreeing with you is dogpiling you, but I can understand how frustrating it can be to read so many opinion you disagree with. Maybe just hide the thread?

No. 79120

>>79119
I'm actually going to agree with >>79118. The anon trying to talk about the "psychology of men" and saying they are hardwired a certain way was super embarrassing. And I also think that much of the thread was trying to ignore or shut down anons saying they have male friends who don't want to fuck them. Many replies are telling them that the men actually do want to fuck them and are pretending. That feels pretty invalidating and disrespectful to anons who have had good luck with those friendships. I think the "hurdur don't be friends with neckbeards" argument is stupid as well, but I see much more of the replies having to do with positive experiences around men being shat on, which just makes the whole thread seem like a thinly veiled man-hate thread, which obviously isn't OP's intention. I just don't get why people seem so triggered over people having differing experiences, good or bad.

No. 79121

>>79119
ffs it's not about seeing differing opinions, it's shit like >>78597 having >>78598 response and then >>78602 bitching about humblebrag. if you think that everyone ITT is just sharing experiences and being cordial you clearly didn't read the thread. most of the 'i have male friends' stuff has that kind of shit response, or people trying to justify it away with "it's cause he has a gf" or "cause you had a bf", when the same people will claim that men don't care about loyalty at all.

No. 79122

>>79121
I mean it's only two example of shitty posts in a 170+ thread and they've already been called out.

No. 79123

>>79122
i'm not going through the entire thread to fucking explain my point. why are you defending this shit so hard? you also ignored the crazy person talking about "all men want to fuck every woman". i hate that this board has become so shitty.

No. 79124

>>79123
I think the conversation was going well until some farmers started crying NOT ALL MEN and blaming the women for ending up "girlfriendzoned", obviously claiming all men want to fuck all women in every situation is retarded too.

No. 79125

>>79122
>anon makes a point
>it's just one point

Just let it go anon, I'm someone who has had every male I knew, let alone were friends with, trying to fuck me and I even can see how salty people seem about the anons who have good relationships with men.

No. 79126

>>79124
lol no it wasn't. the first fucking post was ALL MEN WANT TO FUCK ALL WOMEN. like i said already. it wasn't until after those kinds of anons were ITT that the "not all men" people were here. and many of them were robots. also, i personally think it's fine to tell people that not all men are like x in this kind of thread. obviously blaming someone for someone else's feelings is shitty though. i just am starting to think that many anons on this board and /ot/ want to cultivate this man-hate thing as of late. i know we've always had misandry threads and the like on /ot/ but when anons are going into unrelated threads bitching about how 'all men are pedos' or 'men are never satisfied by a woman's looks' when it's not related to relevant, it's cringy.

and listen, i'm not trying to say anyone's experience is wrong, and i've had shitty experiences too, but there's a real level of toxicity that comes with some of these anons that makes me wonder if they're trolls.

No. 79138

I can tell on the street when they look at me they all just want to fuck me. Each and every one of them.

No. 79143

>>79126
Is your argument "this thread isn't going the way I want" or?

No one here is man-hating. We have male friends (or tried, see OP) or have boyfriends. We want healthy fulfilling relationships with men. We like men.

Not every opinion you read or hear will align with your own. Dismissing all alternate opinions as "hate" is borderline SJW behavior.

No. 79144

>>79059
>>79060
i wasn't comparing fetishes. i was a critical of the "porn is fantasy so everything goes & it's allright" argument

No. 79148

>>79144

Nobody made that argument.

No. 79160

>>79138
Ikr they make it so obvious, it's disgusting. Why can't they control themselves? Primates have more class than them.

No. 79162

File: 1523652932581.jpg (203.2 KB, 923x633, VGAINA.jpg)

Can you handle the truth?(USER HAS BEEN PUT OUT TO PASTURE)

No. 79169

>>79138
I can't, personally.

No. 79170

>>79169
I'm sorry to break it to you honey, but I think you're not desirable enough.(shit baiting)

No. 79171

>>79162
If a drunk on 4chan said it, it must be true

No. 79172

My "friend" literally asked my bf if he can fuck me

No. 79173

>>79162
Oh, I love this post so much. And by love I mean it infuriates me with it's idiocy. The way it's parroted and spread around and lauded by men as the epitome of truth and accuracy is hilarious.

So this guy has niche social retard hobbies and the women he meets at parties don't conveniently share his obscure interests. He only has one friend who does, from the sounds of it, and they are just skype friends. He makes no mention of whether or not men at parties know anything about Boba Fett and Speed Force, he just wants to go home and talk to his singular friend about it. How in the actual fuck does this lead him to concluding that WOMEN are the boring ones? Not the guy who goes to a party expecting women there to want to talk about his niche hobbies, even though he apparently can't find more than one friend outside parties to discuss them with? The guy who can't even fathom being entertained by anything else? The guy with so little social tact that he doesn't understand parties are more for superficial discussion than delving deep into hobbies unless you really click with someone, and there's a very high chance that women are holding back from talking about their niche interests there too since they don't generate good conversation with strangers? Nerds can be so arrogant and delusional, not even normie guys judge women at parties for this shit.

No. 79174

>>79162
I like how he starts off polite-ish and descends into a rage as it continues.

No. 79175

>>79172
Welcome to current year

No. 79176

>>79170
Thanks robot, but this board is for girls.

No. 79177

>>79173
You captured everything that was wrong with that post very eloquently.

Reasons why he can't find nerdy women:
-They don't go to the kind of parties he is going to
-They are avoiding niche conversation at said parties
-They are pretending not to like this stuff so he leaves them alone

Star Wars is not a niche interest anyway, so it sounds like a 4Chan Anon problem and not a woman problem

No. 79179

>>79173
I can relate to this. Occasionally I'll find myself at a normie enough party/gathering and maybe I want to talk about my niche interests, but there's no one ever there who would truly appreciate them. Sure, I play some type of video games, but guys take that to mean you play their type of video games. I have nothing to say in a group talking about Overwatch or the latest FPS or whatever else.


He sounds like he wants to be able to spout racist memes at a party and get laid for it.

No. 79184

>>79162
>he thinks the fact that normies normieing in a normie party is proof that all women are boring
Whew.

>>79179
>I play some type of video games, but guys take that to mean you play their type of video games
This. It's annoying as fuck when a random filthy casual who plays nothing but FPS and male power fantasy games tells you you're "a fake gumur gurl" because you don't share his taste. I mostly avoid this topic altogether because it's rarely worth it to bring it up.

No. 79189

>>79173
>So this guy has niche social retard hobbies and the women he meets at parties don't conveniently share his obscure interests.
The best part about that is his interests aren't even obscure.
>Boba Fett
Star Wars is one of the most popular movies in modern film history, and nerds are still out here acting smug as if almost everyone else hasn't already seen it either. I get more surprised looks when I say that I have no interest in the franchise than I meet people who haven't had anything to do with it at all.

No. 79221

>>79162
It seems he does not even want to go to parties.

Someone should tell him about Tinder and OKCupid, perhaps that's better suited for his purposes. A party is the wrong location for him.

No. 79286

i have a group of male friends and on the whole they're great, but i think the one thing is that they don't really take me seriously. maybe it's just because i talk a lot and say a bunch of silly things, but even when i am making a desperate effort to be serious i feel like it's a struggle to be heard and understood. i hate saying that about them but it's true in my experience.

No. 79314

I have about 50/50 ratio of guys and girls as friends, but I do notice a few of my guy friends probably only wanted to be my friend because they're those male feminist types. Also, the fact I have tan skin, I just feel like a diversity quota to them, but I feel that way about a couple girls who are mutuals with me too. I've realized most of these people I'm talking about though have hung around me since my SJW days lol
But recently, Ive gotten some good genuine friendships, it feels good.

No. 79354

>>78579
Are your specific hobbies and interests completely devoid of females? How?

No. 79368

Well, that was an embarrassing read.

I'm going to have to agree with the others who have found a lot of this thread to be on the more extreme side of things as far as reactions to shitty behaviour go, though, barring a few posts that have already been pointed out, I wouldn't go as far to say that all this is just a load of thinly veiled man-hate. It's more just venting with blinders on in full force.

To quickly clear up my position on the matter, I believe whole-heartedly that men and women can be friends.

In a bit more depth, I only have three female friends and about fifteen male friends– some of these men I've known since we were literally babies, some of them I befriended in the middle years of high school, some of them recent uni friends. Pretty much all of them are single, and two of them have asked me out (one a long time best friend, the other a guy I'd chatted a bit to at uni but otherwise barely knew at the time). I respectfully rejected both of them, and I'm still besties with the former and friendly with the latter. I hope I haven't gone overboard here, but it seems people are having a bit of trouble with clarity here anyway so I didn't want to risk it.

And while I've had no bad experiences with the men I care about (random idiots is another story entirely), I'm also not stupid enough to think there aren't any bad eggs out there. That'd just be naïve, and the same goes for other women– no one is angelic or irredeemable purely because of their sex. Like, c'mon, that's how little kids think.

Lastly, to dismiss any blame for being on your part will only lead to the whole process repeating itself– cut those assholes out of your life, but also reflect on how they may have come to their conclusions. Depending on the type of guy and his experiences he's going to interpret cues from your behaviour, so if you work out what those are you can better avoid the same outcome with the next similar guy you try to befriend. Like, as an exaggerated example if you're getting chummy with an awkward mega nerd who has had limited interaction with women at all, let alone platonically, be prepared for him to take the friendly interest you show him by merely speaking to him as being an indicator of romantic or sexual interest. Like think of how a shitty romance protagonist will be left swooning because an attractive dude said 'hello' in her direction. (not basing this off of anything other than talking to my male friends about their awkward and regrettable experiences with falling hard for the first girl to give them the time of day, so feel free to take with whatever quantity of salt you require)

tl;dr men and women can absolutely have great friendships, but there will always be idiots who aren't worth your time, and sometimes if something keeps happening repeatedly maybe some introspection might be required.

No. 79392

>>79368
>Well, that was an embarrassing read.
whew lad, same could be said here.

ditch your condescending tone if you want to be helpful. hmmm, it's almost like:
>some introspection might be required.

No. 79397

>>79392
NTAYRT, but lol girls say the same shit to guys how they should be more self-aware about their actions and it's totally fine. BUT when girls say the same thing to other girls, it's like we insulted your mom. Jesus.

Have you never heard of the saying
"If everyone in your life is an asshole, you're probably the asshole"? I feel like it's very fitting to many of the bitter posters here. It's not condescension if there's a grain of truth.

No. 79408

>>79392
Sorry about that, didn't mean to come across as condescending, just wanted to add my two cents, will work on that in the future.

But aside from criticising my tone and delivery, do you have anything else to add? Not a lot to work with here.

No. 79423

>>79392
>>79368

Yeah I disagree with 15-male friends Anon's "maybe its ur fault" stuff, however I'm glad that she is able to have many male friends without them sticking their dick in you, which seems to be the result as soon as I am alone with any single, unrelated male. You're a lucky chick.

Or are we missing something and the trick is never to be alone with a guy?

No. 79438

>>79423
15-male-friends-anon again, and I just want to quickly clear up that I didn't mean "maybe it's your fault", just that if you find the situation repeating itself across multiple guys, maybe it's a good idea to have a look at not only their behaviour but also your own, and not that their behaviour is your responsibility. And if anyone does try to blame you for their poor behaviour, they're a fucking asshole and you should drop them. So sorry if that point came across poorly.

And sorry to hear about your experience with guys, I hope you can find one who isn't talking to you just because he's got the hots for you.

As for the 'never be alone with a guy' thing, I can't say that's true from my experience, ha– I've slept in a room with 3 of my male friends for over a week without issue, stayed over at their houses, had them stay at mine, and split beds and sofas with them without any problems (and I by no means think that any of that's typical or that anyone else is doing something wrong if that all sounded like things they'd never feel comfortable with, that's just how my friend-group (specifically close friends btw) is with each other).

Idk, maybe talking about the types of guys we all try to befriend might be helpful? Some seem more prone to the 'relationship-zone'/'fuck-zone' behaviour than others

No. 79492

Yeah yeah so one of you retards is gonna ban me, but answer the question anyways:

If a guy ends up in a position where he falls for someone he's had a long-term platonic relationship with, what would you actually want him to do? If he's not able to just put it past him and accept it as-is, how could you have mutual respect in a friendship with a beta orbiter? It'd just fall apart anyways unless he actually fully stopped loving her.

But love isn't exactly something with much conscious logic behind it, people don't just decide when they feel it or not. So okay hurr durr all men r dumb but what's the actual mature response any of you are looking for here?(USER HAS BEEN PUT OUT TO PASTURE)

No. 79494

>>79492
Most girls here aren't talking about that situation, they're talking about guys who befriended them wanting to fuck or date in the back of their heads (or the front) all along, and jumping on anything they see as them having a chance. Don't take what the anons here say personally if you don't engage in that kind of behavior. Anyone can fall into the situation getting feelings for a long time friend, and what you should do depends a lot on the both of you as individuals.

No. 79498

have you guys watched this documentary?

No. 79499

>>79494
But is that not what it would come off as if it suddenly clicks for the guy but not the girl?
I wouldn't be surprised if that situation is what half of the people in this thread are so bitter about.

No. 79502

>calls us retards right off the bat
>then expects us to read the rest of his post and respond too

the absolute state of males

>>79494
Do not engage the scrotoid

No. 79516

Guys stop talking to girls after asking them out due to the shame and in order to get over you and forget you, to regain their pride etc. Not because they wanted to fuck you all along.(sure jan)

No. 79519

>>79502
>scrotoid

This needs to catch on. Ily anon.

No. 79574

>>79502
>>79519
>scrotoid
I'll be using that from now on

No. 79576

>>79397
>If everyone in your life is an asshole, you're probably the asshole
I'm having the opposite problem, I'm acting like a cunt here about it because I can. I am nice and polite to the guys when I reject them and meet them, etc. Jesus fuck.

No. 79594

>>79126
Nobody said "ALL MEN WANT TO FUCK ALL WOMEN", this thread was pointing that men often befriend women thinking about fucking us instead of building a friendship, you must be mentally ill or just a man with his feefees hurt by this thread.

No. 79666

How do you sort the difference from

>you meet a guy

>pretends to be friends
>get rejected
>peaces out,never see again

>you meet a guy

>be friends
>catches feelings
>rejected, peaces out

seems difficult to tell whats legit and what isnt.

it felt like when I was younger friends felt just like family members to me.

No. 79804

>>79423

Yes, kind of.

I have a lot of male friends who I have common interests like music, nightlife ect or common friends. I might invite to go with me to a concert or museum or something but I would never invite them to come chill at my house, alone except for 2 really close friends I know well.

Most guys don't really need friendship as much as women do. Look at the adult men who know and you'll realize like 75% of their friends are people they work with or are professionally connected with in some way. Hence, they don't feel the need to spend quality alone time with their friends.

No. 79805

>>79804
>75% of their friends are people they work with or are professionally connected with in some way
I really don't think this is a male thing lol, this is how pretty much all adults make friends.

No. 79816

You can be friends with guys, but it's pretty difficult to know if they have ulterior motives

I had a guy act all nice and getting to know me. We hung out for a few weeks and then he invited me to his place to hang.
I turned down his hand going you know where, he instantly turned around and didn't talk to me for the whole time I was at his place
The next day he dropped me off at the train station, gave me a hug and kiss on the cheek
I never heard from him again after that but it turns out a lot of people hate his guts so karma really worked out in the end

No. 80348

This has really been bothering me as of lately. It built up so much unbearable stress for me because of past experiences with guys and how I've been treated and it's a part of the reason why I've been a mess lately with my depression and anxiety too.
I've known this friend group of guys for about 8+ years but for about 3 I was moved away. At this point you're kind of so close to someone you've known for that long that you can always talk to them again. I came back and some of the group had also moved away. After going through a major depression after moving away from actual GOOD friends,
One after the other:
First one asked to hook up, I said no. Roommate (and a new friend I thought I made) asked to hook up and I REALLY ended up liking him. He of course, just wanted to hook up. Another friend visited and wanted to hook up. Next one wanted to hook up.
Plus some bonuses: Friend of the guy I really liked started trying to invite me to beer several times. Another friend of the group keeps sliding into my DM's.
Then another friend of the group started in my DM's innocently, but let's be honest. Men do not start messaging you because they REALLY want to be just your friend so badly.
This all gave me problems with my self worth and it was already shattered before all of this. At the moment I'm distancing myself from them, but I'm really fucking lonely and depressed. It's disappointing. I spent my teenage years with these guys. I did tell one of them that I only seem relevant in this group if I'm hooking up with someone. Some of them I did hook up with, but I don't initiate any of it, and obviously I'm done with it. The attention is nice at first, but then when you realize you're just viewed as an object and they don't actually care about you, it's not very nice anymore.

No. 80358

>>78675
>he has a serious girlfriend when you first met
I met a guy in my Japanese classes that had a pic of him and his gf on his profile. Two months later he broke up with her and began to act weird and then finally confessed. I'm sure he dumped his gf to try to make a pass on me.

>you met him before hitting puberty

One of my childhood friends always manages to hit on me every single time we see each other, even when we're in the presence of my brother. He started touching my leg once and my brother just stared at him like he was gonna murder someone.

No. 80399

>>80358
>I'm sure he dumped his gf to try to make a pass on me.

Sure :3

No. 80422

the best way to avoid getting fuckzoned IMO is to befriend a large group of males rather than having one on one male friendships. At this point I don't even think men understand the concept of a one on one friendship, if you're with a group there's no guarantee a guy won't become attracted to you but at least there's social pressure on him to not act on that impulse in that scenario.

No. 80428

>>79666
that's a really tough one, I guess the best way would be to look at how he approached you in the first place? This wouldn't be a surefire way to tell but if he took a lot of initiative in approaching you then he probably was initially attracted to you, if you met him by circumstance then it's probably different, guys make friends more by coincidence and not intentionally.

Also how fast he says he catches feelings, I don't think a guy is going to put several months worth of effort into maintaining a false friendship just to try to get laid, there's much more low effort ways of going about that.

No. 81548

>women who are friends
>women I'm sexually attracted to
>and never the two shall meet(USER HAS BEEN PUT OUT TO PASTURE)

No. 81668

What if he befriends said girl for other reasons (like they work together and go out together in a group and just spend an awful lot of good, fun time together) and then ends up helplessly falling in love and messes up big time and decides it's not healthy to stay around unnecessarily anymore even though he enjoys nothing in this life more than her company and she has seem quite willing to talk to him (probably friends-wise) nonetheless?

No. 81696

>>78523
This is all I ever been through with guy friends. Some make it more obvious of their intentions than others. Sometimes I hate my personality because I try to be nice. I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings. They don't take a no for an answer and keep pushing sometimes. I made friends with a guy with similar interests. decide to hang out. He constantly tries to kiss me on the cheek, or ask for one in return. Our conversations may start out normal, then he manages to turn it into "cuddle me plz" Like he could be a totally normal and chill dude if he wasn't so pushy. I tell him over and over I dont want a relationship. Not now, not ever. And he still asks questions like "so do you at least have an interest in me? OwO" If I was younger, say like 13, I would probably fall head over heels for this shitty behavior. But now that I'm older its just so fucking creepy and pushy.

No. 81713

Well, funny because I have always believed in female-male friendships, but now when I look back… almost every guyfriend of mine made a move on me. And now I don't have any guyfriends, so yeah, every friendship died after a move/confession. And many boys just turned their backs on me because of idk solidarity with their rejected friends. I very vividly remember when I was about 16 and my friend awkwardly told me that the guy I rejected is now partying and drinking and he hinted it's my fault? But he was so hesitant and uncomfortable, I don't know if he really believed I'm to blame. Didn't stop him for alienating me later though.
I liked having male friends, I don't want to say shit like WaMen aRe CaTtY or I'm one of the boys, but it's no secret it's easier to find geek/nerd guys than girls, and my sense of humour is quite brutal… I love my girlfriends but I sometimes have to hold back with them.
But eh I never had to consciously make friends with guys because we all knew each other since forever, but now when they're gone it's impossible for me, I'm too shy and awkward. I noticed guys are super uncomfortable around shy girls and would rather pretend they don't exist. When, for example, I'm talking with a group of uni people before classes, guys wouldn't even look at me, let alone speak to. I know I shouldn't care, but it hurts, feels like I'm… I don't know, impaired, abnormal. But yeah it's a topic that belongs in the Vent thread, because people in general make me feel like shit because they don't know how to handle shy reserved individuals

At least one of my very close friends is a gay man, so I have someone to dump game memes on and be mean to

No. 81721

I've always had lots of guy friends and not one of them has made a move on me, despite me not being ugly. I think you guys need to try being more respectable and interesting people. girls that I see complaining about this never really bring anything to the friendship, or they just want attention.

No. 81724

>>81668
It probably helps that im a masculine asexual (ish), but i havent had any problems with male friends developing feelings for me since high school. I dont hang around "normies" though.

No. 81736

>>81721
>I think you guys need to try being more respectable and interesting people

>"You're just sluts that's why guys put the moves on!!!"


So many self-proclaimed nerd girls like, IDK the girl >>81713 one post up from yours who is obviously respectable and interesting but still had every guy friend make a move


Like what part of shy nerd girl screams boring slut to you?

No. 81739

>>81736
Never called anyone a slut. There are plenty of respectable promiscuous women out there. But let's not pretend that being a "nerd grrl" implies that she has a personality or has done anything noteworthy or is capable of keeping up in an interesting discussion.

No. 81757

>>81739
So you're implying you haven't had any problems with male friends developing feelings for you because you have personality (unlike us) and do noteworthy (what) stuff? Hold on girls, we have a "cool grrl" over here.
We're just not interesting enough to be friends with guys, you see. What a bummer.

No. 81758

>>81668
Can anyone pitch some advice on this one here? I just don't wanna hurt her at this point. Not sure I'm allowed in the relationship thread.

No. 81762

>>81757
It's because I'm good at what I do. This bitterness and passive-aggressiveness is exactly why I can't be friends with most women I know.

No. 81764

>>81758
if you think you can somehow un-fall in love with her then that would be the best lol. if not, you can continue the friendship or just "wean off" her, do whats best for you.

No. 81769

>>81758
If you've learned anything from reading this thread, you should stay friends with her. You enjoy her company up to now without (sex innuendo) so nothing has changed. You will miss her company if you just drop it. It's hard but it's better to keep people you like around if at all possible

No. 81770

>>81762
>good at what I do

>Literally just come in here to throw vague allusions to us all being boring sluts who can't converse despite an entire thread's evidence to the contrary


Some of these girls had the guy fall for them after a long friendship, implying they were good company/interesting/whatever arbitrary bar you have invented

No. 81774

>>81773
Well she's trying to move forward, and remove the tension. You shouldnt try to explain yourself, it doesnt sound like she wants to talk about that anymore, and wants to leave the past in the past.

No. 81776

File: 1525571013841.png (158.33 KB, 500x473, eat that ass.png)

>>81764
>if you think you can somehow un-fall in love with her then that would be the best lol
The fact that I've been trying to for 5 months and 5 days strongly suggests that I cannot. I have yet to vent with someone about this because everyone I could turn to is either male or her friend as well. I warn you, this is going to be a hard read. Probably. I have lost all sense.

I honestly just really tried hard to forget her for the first month: reduced my social media intake from very low to zero, stopped listening to that tune that makes me think of her somehow, spent even more time working out and getting my shit together and not seeing her at all. And then I saw her in person and I was fucked.

When I confessed (after a year of me not making a move because I couldn't read her, she got interested in some guy and I just said fuck it I give up but I'm not going down without telling her how I feel) she said something along the lines of "I really don't want this to get in the way of our group, which I really value" and I said "yup, I promise it won't", which meant I could not skip her graduation ceremony which was the first event in a month that would call for a get-together. I was super anxious and putting a lot of effort into looking my best for her so in retrospect I believe I had already lost way before I even saw her again. This unrequited-love-that-won't-go-away got to my mind and I didn't approach her or even greeted her at all during the whole night, not even afterwards when we were eating at the same table. Despite this embarrassing display of immaturity, during all following "inevitable" get-togethers (which I started desperately looking forward to) she's been quite smiley and interactive around me. I don't directly talk to her but she does to me. When I went back to using Instagram, she was the very first person to see my story. She even publicly sips drinks from my straw like there had never been any tension between us at all. And I don't know how to respond to that.

>>81769
I understand that acting all weird and silent around her has to stop, but do I just stop it abruptly after 4 months of not looking at her gorgeous face, like nothing happened? Or do I try to explain to her that I was panicked/immature/confused/resentful/respecting her/clueless/slightly angry at her/very angry at myself?

No. 81778

>>81774
Sorry, thought I had time to correct something but I wasn't that fast.

If that's correct I better just follow her lead and hope she understands…

No. 81779

>>81778
I doubt she has any bad feelings towards you, sounds like you were respectful in your approach and the aftermath, better than how most guys would respond.

No. 81788

Why is he pretending like we never had sex?

To be fair, it happened spontaneously while we were hanging out playing vidya, and it isn't like we're """in luv""", but you would think it would come up in conversation. Like it makes me feel kind of used and dirty.

No. 81792

>>81788
I was the female side of that situation, i also pretended like nothing happened, i just wanted to ignore that it happened since i regretted it. Probably the case for him as well? Wanting the friendship to just go back to normal?

No. 81808

I've made friends with a group of 3 guys this year at uni. I pretty much broed it out. I've told them I'm in a long committed relationship (but beyond that I don't talk about my feelings or present and past relationships). I make sure I don't say anything that could be interpreted as flirty and I keep some distance with the most nerdy guy (the one that looks like he doesn't have much experience and could think a girl being friendly is interested).
It's been 8 month now and there isn't any awkwardness. I hope it stays like this.

No. 81827

>>81776
You are super feeling sorry for yourself, but remember most girls have guys consistently offer themselves to them (even strangers, if you're outdoors/any place for long enough you will get chatted up by strangers guaranteed)

She's not concerned with the fact you shot your shot and has likely mostly forgotten about it. If you enjoy her company as much as you say you do, keep enjoying it. I promise the embarrassment is 100% your side and she doesn't think anything about it.

No. 81833

Quite an interesting thread. It's interesting to read people's experiences and insights regarding the subject, even if the conversation did get a bit heated at times, but I suppose that's a given when it comes to such a topic.

No. 81837

I have been hurt really badly by guys who I naively thought were good friends. I have an outgoing personality so make friends pretty easy inc female friends, but that does not lessen the blow when I discovered ( on a repeat basis) guys that I was friends with and enjoyed spending time with and telling personal details with, were all just hanging around me, not because of my personality or any traits to do with my character, they were there just hoping I would sleep with them. One guy in particular I met him in my ceramics/pottery class, he was near 60, I was 18, he was very avuncular and just kind and pleasant to me. This dude after a year of us being friends, tried it on with me when I was drunk with the booze he bought for me. I feel so damn stupid! looking back I may have been an adult but he was trying to groom me. I trusted him enough to go to his house, the first time I drunk over his place was fine, the second time, he must have put more booze in, as I passed out and I only come aroung when I felt his hands down my pants/knickers. and my bra was messed up so while I was passed out drunk this old mother fucker took advantage. When I look back, I think all the signs were there why didnt I see it. So that guy made me distrustful of men, then I decided I was too distrustful, so I started letting myself make friends with males again, none of them sexually assaulted me, but some of them did try and get me drunk or sleep with them when I was feeling vunerable. i am older and wiser now, but I just wish I had that foresight when I was young. Sorry for blog post this is the first time I spoke about that man and what he did to me.

No. 81850

>>81837
That's awful, I'm sorry Anon.

No. 81955

You're all right about those situations being wrong but I think you have the wrong impression of the situation when it comes to rejecting relationship proposals from friends (not plain sex mind you) most of those guys were not 'pretending' anything, they didn't have some evil masterplan to make you spread your legs, they really were your friends, they genuinely liked you, they enjoyed spending time with you and that's why they developed feelings for you.

A mature man would get over it and continue being your friend but that's not the case for an insecure and immature man because for them it is extremely painful to continue being around someone they can't love they way they want, things are not as cold as you think they are, most of them didn't think "oh I can't put my dick inside her, useless hoe bye" they mostly likely thought "I can't be with the woman I've been in love with for months/years, I've been fantasizing for so long about her loving me, going on dates, kissing, having sex, maybe marrying, it hurts to talk to with her, it hurts to be around her" so they decide to leave instead of being in pain every time you wanna talk about your lame anime shit.

It is your job as a woman to make sure a man doesn't develop those kind of feelings for you very early in your friendship, of course in an ideal world you wouldn't have to go around worrying about the cool guy you're friends with suddenly going psycho because you rejected him after being friends for like 2 years or something like that.

I am ashamed to say I did stop talking to friends after being rejected long time ago but I was also able to be very very good friends with girls who made sure I never thought of them as potential girlfriends and that their vaginas were shut down for me, it can be awkward but just go ahead and say it, believe me it really works, I once met this girl while smoking outside my house who approached me to ask for a light, I looked like shit so I didn't try flirting or anything just random chitchat that developed into finding we had many things in common, she was really cool, she was pretty and my heart did start tingling, I think my face was showing it because she suddenly put her finger on my face and very strongly said "I have a boyfriend but I like making friends" it felt weird but I think it hardwired my brain into not looking at her as a potential partner at all, we continued being very good friends for couple of years, in my eyes she almost turned into a sister. Another time I met this girl online who was extremely perverted, she loved sharing and getting porn, I was going crazy with meeting a girl who was so pervy and talked about sex so much, we lived close by so I did try to insinuate a meeting once and I don't even remember exactly what she said but she was very strong and made me feel like she would cut off my dick if I ever tried anything with her, she liked chatting with me and my taste in porn nothing more and again I completely stopped thinking about her as potential partner, we are still friends to this day, she got over her nymphomania so no more porn but she's a cool person and like to chat with her about random stuff.

So in short, slap a man's dick and heart almost as soon as you meet him to make sure he doesn't do any of this shit, if he leaves early it won't even bother you. I'm in my 30's now and don't need stuff like that to keep my heart in check, I can now deal with rejection and continue being friends with girls but you can never know which man is mature or not.

You can ban me now :^)(male)

No. 81957

>>81955
>most of those guys were not 'pretending' anything, they didn't have some evil masterplan to make you spread your legs, they really were your friends, they genuinely liked you, they enjoyed spending time with you and that's why they developed feelings for you.

A lot of us have clarified that we understand the difference between a male friend developing feelings throughout the friendship vs the fuckzone. We are mostly complaining about the latter and have gone over this multiple times already. Did you actually read much of the thread or did you just read the first post and create this wall of text telling us we don't understand?

>It is your job as a woman to make sure a man doesn't develop those kind of feelings for you very early in your friendship, of course in an ideal world you wouldn't have to go around worrying about the cool guy you're friends with suddenly going psycho because you rejected him after being friends for like 2 years or something like that.


And how exactly is a woman supposed to do that? People can't really help who they're attracted to. Some guys even like me more when I'm gross and mannish.

>

So in short, slap a man's dick and heart almost as soon as you meet him to make sure he doesn't do any of this shit, if he leaves early it won't even bother you.

Sometimes you want to give people the benefit of the doubt and be friendly, not constantly worry about and try to prevent them from "going pyscho". It's really not our responsibility and we already do enough to attempt to avoid those situations anyway. I always establish that I'm only here for friendships with guys and half the time I get made fun of for assuming guys all want to fuck me or something. Guys should be able to use their words and be honest when they have other intentions. It really shouldn't be our responsibility to say "oh btw i'm NOT interested!" and it's almost a rejection in itself which makes them resent us even more. The default assumption should be that it's a normal friendship unless specified otherwise. You're advocating for a world where it's assumed a girl is dtf or going to ask you out unless you prematurely tell him off.

I get that you might be coming from a decent place giving advice, but you don't know what we're talking about and it shows. Your experience with women does not invalidate our decades of actually being women but you seem to think that we're all just missing something as simple as…saying we're not interested in anything more than friendship.

No. 81958

>>81957

You are right, I just read the first posts and assumed the rest would be pretty much the same. Well I was addressing those who seem not to understand and think they were caught in an evil man's conspiracy and not just dealing with some dumbass over-sensitive friend who can't take rejection not addressing you who does get it and it was not 'mansplaining' if I'm just talking about the point of view of the males not telling you how to feel about it

>You're advocating for a world where it's assumed a girl is dtf or going to ask you out unless you prematurely tell him off.


I'm not advocating for it, that's the way it is, it has always been your personal experience just like you're saying, so I'm sorry but I will continue saying it is your responsibility to put walls around men just the way you've been taught to close your legs when wearing a dress, not walk around dark empty streets etc, you're the one advocating for a bizarro world where men can contain their nature, no amount of education or cultural change will make men mostly approach women with the same eyes he approaches another man, it's hopeless and you're just gonna live frustrated if you don't accept it but you can have very fulfilling, fun and genuine friendships with men if you make some effort to test they have good intentions when you meet them.

No. 81961

Sadly, I do believe man (soon-to-be-banned) anon is right, reality is what it is and we have to deal how we can.

I think a good technique to try is to be disgusting/make clear what type of men you drool over to the male friends you want. Perhaps part of my luck with male friendships (and the friendzone I've sadly experienced…) is that I'm a slimeball who objectifies men right in front of men. Always have.

May not work if said guy has no boundaries (so is a douchebag anyway), is kind of autistic, or is actually your type. Or if you're in a work relationship, although even in those cases men have gross conversations about women to other men. So give them the same treatment! I actually had a guy at work try to set me up with a qt after he overheard me speaking clearly about what kind of guys I like with a co-worker.

>inb4 lesbianons coming to tell me of men who've creeped on them anyway

I mean, why would you want to stay friends with them, though? I've also had female friends who hit on my gay male friends, some people are just gross.

No. 81964

Honestly the only time I've had a successful friendship with a guy that never had a "if we dated" type conversation is if he has a wife and I'm also friends with the wife, and more her friend than his.

I've had single guy friends but it's either hinted at interest (sometimes to the point where OTHERS try to intervene on his behalf, exquisitely obnoxious) or "here's what you need to do to be my gf, btw" type conversations. I'd agree with whatever anon said never to trust a guy 100% honestly.

I think it's probably possible, but men make it really fucking hard, and I have a pretty finite threshold for stupid drama.

No. 81967

>>81961
anon, if only that was so easy.
>friend confesses through text message
>my other friend, from the same friend group asks me about it and is sorry things are awkward now among us all
>I say same and allow myself to bitch about the confession guy, saying that I wouldn't accept someone who declares his love to me through a text like a kid in middle school and it's a red flag for me, how do I know he's not trolling or someone took his phone and is fooling around, honestly a confession like this isn't even something to consider etc
>few months later, this very friend I talked with about it, guess what, confesses to me through a text message

Men are impossible

No. 81974

>>81967
That's ridiculous, but I laffed. It would be cute if it wasn't so fucking stupid.

Perhaps some of us are just more unfortunate than others when it comes to men we know.

No. 82009

>>81967
Lol that is so dumb of him, you'd think he'd remember your complaints about it considering he had a crush on you.
I agree though that text message confessions are pathetic. Same goes for when they get a friend to ask you out for the guy. They get an instant "no" answer from me just for that.

No. 82015

Naturally men can't have genuine friendship with women because of differences of our psyche and sexual attraction, it works both ways.
Before industrial revolution there was no such thing as male-female friendship. Now in our modern society where women are given endless opportunities, such thing is possible, but it happens most of the time between people who are united by the same idea, like betwen two doctors, or artists.

If a guy is showing much friendship to you he's most likely an awkward beta who doesn't know how to pick girls, and vice versa.

Human nature is like that, we can't do anything about it, but learn to be with it.

No. 82028

I had a guy friend who I had a huge crush on for like 4 years, I never made a move or told him but it was embarrassingly obvious. As we got older the more I got over it, the better friends we became and eventually found ourselves talking regularly and just being friendly. I had a bf and he had a gf around the time we really started talking often, and he was a good friend - seemingly interested in what I had to say and we had good conversations. We hadn’t seen eachother in years, by the time we finally met up again I was 3 years into my relationship and he was single. He got drunk and spent the entire night trying to make out with me, trying to take me into rooms alone, telling me we should hook up and giving me gross compliments like “you have really nice lips” (ew)
He’s avoided talking to me/interacting with any social media ever since.
Men are gross.

No. 82032

I feel like I should find a different thread but I’m just…
My closest friend is a guy. I thought we had a great platonic relationship. Everything is great except a few days ago I was extremely drunk, passed out and he raped me. He had a few drinks too but there’s no way he was beyond thinking drunk or anything… I feel awful and I can’t bring myself to blame him and I still want a strong friendship with him but I’m lost. Sorry again if this isn’t the thread for it but I really thought he was a man I could trust. I have a history of sexual abuse and I’ve vented about it to him and everything..

No. 82033

>>82032
Anon, I'm so sorry, Idk what to tell you, that's so awful. What a disgusting person to take advantage of you when you were comfortable enough to be vulnerable around him. How can someone be a good friend and then go and do something so absolutely vile and cruel?
Tbh I don't have any experience with sexual assault but I don't think it would be the best for you to stay his friend and keep hanging around him, it seems like an extremely poisonous situation.

No. 82034

>>82032
Anon, he fucking raped you. You shouldn't even be considering a friendship with him, you should be going to the police. Even if you are struggling with your (platonic) feelings for him, he's a legitimate danger to other women and needs to face consequences for his actions.

Your reaction is really concerning, maybe you are in shock or something (which would be understandable). The unfortunate fact is that you didn't have a great platonic relationship if he cares so little for you that he raped you, he IS to blame, and your friendship is the last thing he deserves.

No. 82055

>>81961
It also works to just have a non-sexual image. Im nearly asexual but i never stare at men/women, talk about peoples looks etc so im just assumed to be off-market. Works pretty well.

No. 82059

>>82034
Predators always seek the weakest victim, they will never ever prey on strong. She should not look for excuse to his behavior, if that's what really happened.

No. 82063

>>82055
Great if it's working for you, although I'm sure there's more to it than that, given the complexities of human interaction.

The problem with image is that by its very definition it exists in the minds of others as their perception of you, so even your idea of a "non-sexual image" is susceptible to corruption. I try to divorce my identity from sexuality, but have also been called asexual by others, and nonetheless experience some degree of sexualization from others. It's trivial compared to what previous posters have experienced, but I used too know a group of girls who would regularly make comments or slap my ass and talk openly about things they would do to me, albeit jokingly. Ironically I think it stemmed from a feeling of being able to do so safely with no fear of me trying to retaliate or escalate the relationship.

Unfortunately, to exist in community is to face all the awkwardness, misunderstanding, and pain of shared humanity. I believe violence to be inexcusable, and it is worth struggling against, but a completely harmonious existence will only ever be experienced in small fragments scattered throughout a life.

I really got into the weeds with this response but I guess to address the OP my answer is yes, occasionally, but that doesn't mean it's not even worth trying.

No. 82067

my guy friends have never tried to hit on me and I know for a fact that there is no way I'm uglier than all of you in this thread. what gives?

No. 82084

>>82067
If it's not your looks you must have a glaring personality flaw repelling them.

No. 82094

File: 1525826677489.jpeg (79.31 KB, 1024x576, 9F230364-D0A6-49F1-9BDB-820288…)

>>82033
>>82034
thank you for your responses
I’m just so lost. He’s so sweet i just think he was really drunk. I have bpd and other issues that make it basically impossible for me to drop people and I’ve hardcore obsessed over past abuser. I feel like I can’t tell anybody but anonymous sites… I don’t know. I don’t want to lose him we’ve been friends for ages and we’re so close. I just can’t stop thinking it’s my fault. I’m histrionic and dress kinda trashy and just. idk. I can’t sleep and keep breaking down over it. I’m sorry again this feels offtopic but i’m rambling

No. 82102

File: 1525832349391.png (608.69 KB, 1486x1669, 90cdef3037e7107c1ef345c4a409ab…)

>>79221
>>79184
>>79174
>>79171
>>79173

Looks like they couldn't handle the truth

No. 82103

>>82102
The bit about believing to be sterile is ???
Seems to be his one friend's belief which he applied to all women. The other stuff isn't necessarily untrue. I don't think any woman believes she is sterile, the monthly gory reminders of our fertility seem to ward such thoughts away.

No. 82104

>>82102
Also the stuff about finding something else to do rather than have kids is posited as bad. Nobody needs to have children. There are other directives. It is not a failure, and as these screeds say it is a societal inevitability due to the current economy and friend and peer bonding situations we are in. (i.e bad all round)

We are more than our base biology, we just need to move beyond basic breeding instincts in order to achieve happiness in a society where basic breeding is difficult.

/Written like an incel because that's the content I'm responding to, actually a wimmin

No. 82105

>>82103
a lot of what these types isn't necessarily untrue but they just take it so damn literally and dualistically. It's like on the social left you have people who won't even acknowledge statistical data or biological instincts, and then you have these guys who seem to think generalizations and biological instincts are ALL that's real, and anyone who deviates from that is lying to themselves.

No. 82106

>>82094
O lord Anon. I'm kinda the same in that I go stockholm syndrome on people who abuse/disrespect me. (No crimes done to me as yet because I'm aware I'm like this and try to be careful)

You try and excuse, romanticize and explain away what happened when it's really simple. He didn't even give you an opportunity to be consensually romantic, he decided he wanted something and took it without asking. Can you go to the police? I have no idea what help they can offer but he is a danger to others as the other Anons said. I'm so sorry that happened. If you have trouble breaking away like you said, just never be alone together EVER again and make sure you always have a friend with you in any situation he is also attending. Tell people about it too, you don't have to tell it as a rape if you don't want to go legal but describe what happened to your female friends so they know.

How you act/dress has nothing to do with it, he would and will do that to librarians.

No. 82107

>>82106
Not saying you weren't careful; some things that have happened to me have been considered rape by others when I describe it - not completely consensual/tricked into etc - but I don't use the word because I was in situations where it was implied I was agreeing to something, just not quite what happened. You didn't agree to anything. It's not your fault.

No. 82118

Honestly? Women can treat men as friends and respect them. But men can't treat women the same way. For men it's embarrassing to be "just friends" with women. They lose face if they get caught treating women as respectable, equal beings. That's the only reason why women and men can't be friends.

>>78527
Done this multiple times. Didn't work. I've always been a vulgar tomboy so in a group of men I'm often on par with them, yet I STILL end up getting inappropriate comments or suggestions. If they don't end up still objectifying you and you lose sexual appeal in their eyes, then you got nothing of interest left. They'll start treating you as garbage. Guys often hate the "dudebro" women because they don't have the most important feature of a woman in their eyes - being sexually/romantically attractive to them.

No. 82130

I had a very good male friend, we meet online in one of those friend finder places and he was fine with being just friends because I already had a boyfriend.
The first time we met in real life was fantastic, we clicked really well and he knew all the right to say. I ended up catching feelings for him and dropping hints, but he always brushed them off and kept things platonically. Eventually he moved and we lost contact.

No. 82135

>>82130
>ended up catching feeling about him
This is a major reason why male-female relationships are rare. One party at some point catches feeling.

No. 82136

>>82135
derped, i mean to say friendship, not relationship.

No. 82216

>>81779
>>81774
>>81827
Three days ago you made me cut the crap and act normal around her.

Just now, in the groupchat, I dropped a hint about a party we used to go to which is returning this weekend. She was the first to reply, saying she's interested.

You were right about her not having bad feelings towards me. But I can't help thinking we could totally date, which is not a thought I should still have…

No. 82226

>>82216
honestly anon, as corny as it is, if it's meant to be it will be.
My friend had a guy who was super into her, but she only saw him as a friend…a best friend. every now and again he'd try and make a move or share his feelings but she'd set him straight and he'd still be friendly. in the end, they werent meant to be. he found a girl who is perfect for him and the two of them are still remaining best friends.
Play it cool, focus on your friendship and respect her boundries.
If something is going to happen it will, but if not eventually you will move on and find someone whos better for you than you.
I say the same for girls who are desperate for a bf, if you stop searching for it and forcing things, then the right person or moment will come along, and you will know when it does.

No. 218678

My nigel ex boyfriend is still one of my best friends. He also has other women as friends, that he has not dated. His male friends seem nice and respecting, I have even been to sauna with them. But it could be just they dont want to touch a friends ex. I think men who can see women as equal beings are rare, and they can also get shit about it from other men (being called a friendzoned beta etc.) So you should generally be careful with them.

No. 218699

my best friend of over a decade is a gay man. i'm not a fag hag or anything, i didn't know or care he was gay until he told me recently.

he can be very pushy and a jerk sometime, in typical moid fashion, but has always been there for me when I needed support. so just as well

No. 218732

>have male friend
>both him and I have relationships so I am comfy with him
>he never flirts with me or acts sexual towards me
>we hang out, smoke weed, and watch shows together
>one night he puts his arm around me
What the fuck are you doing
>Him: "Haha I treat my friends like this haha sorry"
It was all downhill from there. I learned my lesson, from him and other male friends, I'm not retarded. They only want one thing

No. 218755

Men and women can be friends but it's less common. I tend to get along better with men better (recovered pick me) and it was really discouraging in the past when 80% of them act weird around you or drop you once you enter a relationship. I'm very firm with boundaries around single men who I sense have a potential to be interested in me unless I'm in a relationship, and I'm sure to mention it if I am.

IMO the reason why it's hard to pursue platonic relationships with single guys is because they tend to have way lower standards than women do. If you're a decent looking and are easy to talk to, they'll quickly see you as a potential mate. Women in my experience generally are more selective and therefore take time to warm up and trust somebody. Unless they are inexperienced or are coming out of a bad relationship, that can really speed up the process for even the most rational women.

No. 218835

I have never had a guy friend who would not immediately have sex with me if I offered. Also when I was fat and ugly in high school none of the guys wanted to be friends with me (I tried to be friends with some nerdy guys because we had the same hobbies but I was invisible to them). Only after I lost weight and became more attractive did guys start wanting to be my friend. Then when I got a boyfriend they all stopped talking to me. Which is why I truly don't believe in friendships with men.

No. 218967

>>218835
>Only after I lost weight and became more attractive did guys start wanting to be my friend

I am currently experiencing the inverse of your statement. I used to have tons of male """friends""" when I dressed really alt/girly and wore makeup, but now that I primarily dress for comfort it's like I don't exist to moids. On the one hand, it feels liberating going to the gym or class in comfy athletic clothes and bad hair just like all the moids and being left alone, but on the other it feels really weird not even being treated like a person in my natural state. I'm fairly outgoing and participate in an unfortunately male-dominated sport where it's not weird to talk to random people at the gym, but even simple technique questions I ask get completely ignored sometimes. I notice this especially with younger guys, and even more when they're less experienced/skilled than me.

When I was younger and stupid(er) I used to be plagued by these weirdly intense male friendships that were practically a kiss away from being an actual relationship from how much of my time and energy they sucked up, and I never understood why they always ended disastrously until I grew up a bit and stopped treating my time as an unlimited resource. I had a friendship like that for a while that I thought was different because it lasted much longer than usual, but in hindsight it was just a guy a few years older than me (I'm not even that young) who took advantage of a really lonely period of my life and made sure he was somehow always available to hang out at a moment's notice. When it got to the point where I was spending more time with him than my actual boyfriend, I abruptly cut him off and then realized the pattern: every time I told this friend to back off, he somehow managed to weasel his way back into being an uncomfortably close friend by inviting me to hang out a bunch of times in a row or being super helpful about a mutual interest, including randomly gifting me a bunch of hobby shit, and then "opening up" about his depression/social anxiety once we got enmeshed again. He even fucking pretended to be into craft beer to get me to drink alone with him (yes I'm a retard). After I stopped responding to most of his texts (we are unfortunately in the same ttrpg group), he still sends me like five messages asking me to hang out and/or 'subtly' fishing for a response for every one of mine. The stupidest part of this story is that he's admitted to being really into me before, and I naively thought rejecting him would be enough to get him to quit his bullshit.

No. 218980

The last guy friend that I had.. I made excuses to cut our plans short one day because we were sat on the couch together when he gestured at me to look down. He had a full on boner. I don't know what the hell he expected. I said my new meds had given me a headache. I was just so taken aback that I felt unsafe even addressing the real issue. That was the last time I ever saw him. I was about 2 weeks into a sudden break up and I was still living with my ex and sleeping in my exes bed. We were on my exes couch ffs. I was stressed to bits around this time trying to arrange where I'd move to next. My ex had initiated sex with me post break up and being a weak tard I gave in thinking we might work out after all. I was actually just being fucked around by him so I was already not in a great headspace on the day this then happened. Worst fucking timing.

I'd hung out on a bed and watched netflix with this guy on other occasions and there was nothing inappropriate. Why on this godawful day did he start? I was still reeling after the move my ex pulled on me. Like yeah.. I really want sex right now??

He'd been a pleasant distraction in the previous weeks, we got coffee more often, got pizza, cimema trip, walks, had been keeping it as light as possible and trying to make the most of the time we had in case I moved far.. I told him what was happening with my guy but I didn't want to be a downer all the time or too reliant on him to listen to me. I was thinking of his feelings even while struggling and then that shit happened. My ex came home that night and I pretended I wasn't losing my mind being surrounded by not one but two guys who didn't care and who wanted sex out of me at the one time I'm nearing a mental health crisis from the sudden upheaval of my life plans.

I moved pretty far away and never got in touch with him again. I realised how much you need either female friends at a time like that or none at all. If you tell a guy you're super vulnerable then you know what comes next.. sad that it's like that but it really is. I was at a low point and he was just trying to fuck before I moved.

No. 218989

>>218980
Ew anon that scrote is gross af, but I'm kinda confused
>I'd hung out on a bed and watched netflix with this guy
>We got coffee more often, got pizza, cimema trip, walks
Is it normal to hangout so much with a guy? Even a friend? maybe going to cinemas and shit but actually watching tv on a bed? I don't know…I'm a mega autist and i don't have a lot of experience with relationships tho

No. 218990

>>218989
He was bisexual but spent more time on grindr hooking up with guys than anything else, so I don't know about others but he almost felt like a gay friend to me. To add insult to injury.. a week earlier he went to some free gay clinic because he had sti symptoms after a hook up. I never heard what his results were or if they even came in before he tried it on with me.

No. 219130

>>218980

Even for some godforsaken reason you wanted to fuck this scrote, who the hell wants to be propositioned by a grand gesturing to their peggy useless prick? How do men expect us to react? I hate this guy and I'm so sorry you went through that. Every day and every one of these stories I get closer to going full separatist

No. 219221

>>218967
It is really shocking how much different scrotes treat you depending on fuckability. I was so confused when I lost weight and suddenly they were all nice to me where I had gotten used to being completely invisible. Suddenly getting smiled at by strangers, wished a nice day, being treated respectfully and preferential even, guys at University suddenly wanted to be my "study buddies" etc. Teaches you that they really only care about the prospect of fucking you and nothing else. It really makes you fucking hate them even more. I don't make friends with scrotes anymore.

No. 219253

>>219221

This is -part- of what's holding me back from looksmaxing and wanting to stay with my average weight, subtle self. Some days I really want to go full slim muscle gal with bold fashion, for my own sake and admittedly some female attention. But god is it worth the scrote eyes on me? The approaches? The offers to help? I don't want them talking to me at all. I remember when I was really skinny and did makeup every day, there were males always looking to be friends and leaving beta compliments on my instagram stories. Now that I'm a neutral looking person, it's kinda nice to be invisible to most of them

No. 219616

>>78523
I know my experience is out of the norm, but I have a great male friend who has been there through thick and thin. We’ve been friends from… I think age 16/17? I moved to a new school in the middle of the year. That Friday he comes over to me in math, strikes up a convo, and introduces me to the book Clockwork Orange. Hands me the copy, and I read it all weekend. I love it! The whole book was a rollercoaster (for lil teen me) , and Monday I slam the book down on his desk and I excitedly exclaimed “I THINK YOU AND I ARE GONNA BE GREAT FRIENDS!” Coffee hangs, parks, goofing off in class, not once has he ever passed a line of inappropriateness.
I had a hard home life and he was always supportive and understanding. We bonded pretty hard in highschool. Once I was dating an asshole and the guy talked down to me in class and without skipping a beat, my friend leaned over to him, said “outside. Now”. They were gone for ten minutes and as soon as the bf sat down he apologized. My friend nodded at me and went back to his class work.

Fast forward 12 (aww, that’s a long time) years later, and we are still best friends! We get along with each other’s partners and families. My friend is considered family to my family, including my baby brother who asked him last summer to be -his- brother.
I travelled to Spain in 2019 because he was teaching English in the elementary ages, and he told me he was depressed. When I got off that plane I gave him the biggest hug and made dinner that night.
My older brother died recently, and my friend showed up to the funeral unannounced. When I told him he didn’t have to go inside he said “I am here for you dude, you’re not alone. “
I don’t know guys, I really understand so many men have motives they hide behind the guise of friendship, but I wanted to share my experience with a friend I consider blood.
I hope we grow old and senile in the same nursing home one day, that would be the best.
Good male friends are out there, they are just a rare find.

No. 220616

>>219616
I'm fairly pessimistic and all, but that's genuinely heartwarming. I'm glad it's worked out for you.

No. 221316

You can be friends with a guy who's mostly asexual or perhaps so depressed he doesn't care about sex, but be aware that he won't always be around to go out with you at all times
Bonuses: no sex, some favors
Maluses: no commitments of any sort, possibly very boring moments

No. 221334

Were your boyfriends (or previous boyfriends) friends with you before you started dating? I had men saying to me things like "but doesn't it make sense to be romantically attracted to you only after being friends?", "but now I know you better and know it's not only about appearance", "Why do I necessarily have to make clear that I want to fuck since day one for you to be interested?", etc. and I didn't know how to respond.

No. 221428

I tried making some with guys i found funny or cool when i was a teen but it all failed miserably. They were extremely mean to me, i guess they didn’t find me fuckable at the time? Lol. Anyway i caught on to that very quickly and stopped interacting with men unless i wanted something from them.

No. 221458

I have one really decent male friend. When we first met there was some mutual flirting and it fizzled out for whatever reason but we kept hanging out. We don't live nearby anymore so it's not like we see each other much but we still set aside an evening a month to catch up. He sent me a cheesy 10 year friendship anniversary montage this year and I'm just glad he's my friend! I treasure him very much. Never cared to befriend new men as an adult though and usually ignore their efforts unless it's a husband/bf of a close friend.

No. 221883

My childhood best friend who I had lost contact with when I moved away many years ago contacted me out of the blue. I was super happy since I didn't have a lot of friends and, well, we used to be best friends. We started hanging out, I thought everything was going good, and then I mentioned that I had a boyfriend. We were set to hang out that day and he completely ghosted me. Never heard from him again. So much for sandbox love.

No. 289551

File: 1663860752774.jpg (392.05 KB, 1284x1528, 1663514800835545.jpg)

In order to have a platonic relationship with a man, you have to actually be masculine including but not limited to having a masculine sexuality. If you have a feminine sexuality you can only be friends with male bottoms, who are effeminate and take on stereotypical 'women' traits. If you are a lesbian and you take on the dominant role you will make friends with men much easier. Of course if you are a 'switch' that can complicate the matter a bit— not that I believe in switches but whatever. It's the same reason feminine women cannot ever have gratifying sexual relationships with feminine men. Both need the D and when someone's getting TOPPED that means the other is getting the short end of the stick. So of you consider yourself feminine you should try being friends with gay men instead.

Prove me wrong. Pro tip: you can't.

No. 289553

>>289551
Also when I said 'male bottom' I don't necessarily mean exclusively gay men either. Sometimes there are heterosexual couples where the man quite clearly doesn't wear the pants. I am sure butch lesbians would also like to get into your pants but they are more delicate about it because they are still women and lack the male autism.

No. 289559

File: 1663861888046.jpg (37.05 KB, 800x420, camille-paglia-quote-there-is-…)

>>289551
>>289553
An example of stereotypically masculine/autistic things which women are rarely involved in.

War
Philosophy
Radical Politics
Grand Strategy Games

And those that do involve themselves with this sort of thing are masculine leaning and consider themselves as much.

No. 289562

File: 1663863077750.jpg (446.68 KB, 1920x1080, cover2.jpg)

>mfw autist with retarded humor and hobbies so i end up getting along with nerdy and edgy moids
>the moment i let my guard down they either joke about something absolutely disgusting, say sexist shit, try to hit on me, or somehow all 3
>am surprised every time

No. 289563

>>289562
But the fact that it disgusts you so much is typical of someone who has not recieved moid socialization, which is a necessity in order to be friends with them.

From experience however misogyny is just as common in womens' spaces as in male spaces.

No. 289564

>>289562
Males are never friends. I’m sorry anon.

No. 289565


No. 289566

is it the troon bumping this shitty thread and samefagging?

No. 289567

>>289566
Are you referring to MY posts?

No. 289583

File: 1663868950714.jpg (10.29 KB, 235x231, 0b809386b1fff855311bf29d6b0c7b…)

>>289562
Fricking felt. Most of the females I knew with 'male' hobbies and edgy humour have started they/themming so there aren't many options. I would eat my lunch with you though, and hiss at rude scrotes on your behalf ♥

No. 289604

My only friend is a guy, but he has feelings for me. I don't know what to do, he's literally the only person that ever talks to me or treats me kindly, i don't want to lose the only friend i have if i ever confront this situation

No. 289605

Radfems can beat my ass but I have couple of male friends that are actually nice and can be trusted. I have been to sauna and slept in same room with them and they have never tried to be inappropriate. However I have met tons of awful scrotes, even my own male relatives treat women like shit. I have also experienced the "friend" who actually just wanted attention, revealed himself to be very misogynistic and tried to get sex. So please always be careful with men!

No. 289611

>>289604
You did not put him in the friend zone. He put you in the relationship. He’s not entitled to your affections or love. Do not date him since you don’t want to. If he acts like a dick. He was never your real friend and I’m sorry

No. 289612

>>289605
>> not all men!
Instead of complimenting your male friends directly first.

No. 289635

I have male friends and I still don't even like them

No. 289657

>>289604
Nip it in the bud now. Is he "friends" because the feelings, if so he is just waiting for you to give in. If you are both aware nothing will ever happen he should be taking steps to ackoledge and move past the attraction. Don't settle for him seeing you as a potential option to avoid temporary loneliness.

No. 290073

>>289604
It's better to be alone than in bad company

No. 290210

File: 1664112613922.jpg (65.78 KB, 735x703, 6e90031abaf2246d074ccb567806f5…)

I was stupid and thought I could be friends with my ex, it was fine at first we had some really insightful conversations and he helped me through some tough times, now he has a girlfriend and literally never speaks to me anymore. I wouldn't care so much but I never let me having a boyfriend for 3 years stop me from being a decent friend to him. why does this happen? I miss him and I hate myself for it

No. 290225

>>290210
I think exes can only really be friends if there’s been a large amount of time apart and both have moved on. It kinda sounds like he still had some lingering feelings for you and has just now moved on. It sucks but it is what it is.

No. 290234

>>290210
I mean, how would you feel if you had a boyfriend and he was still close with his ex? I don't blame him and I don't think that makes him a douche.

No. 290242

>>290234
while I do understand that I find it shitty to just cut someone off without warning

No. 290266

It's only after spending a long time with guy friends in hobby groups that you learn that no matter how many common interests you share, you'll never be held to the same standards as them. I learned this the hard way. If a woman expresses too many emotions or mouths off too much about injustices, she'll be considered a pest, a "typical woman", difficult. A man can get away with being horrible to all his friends, daily tantrums and belittling everyone. Why? Simply because he is a man, blind to his own behavior and thinking he's the best. A woman shows behavior that isn't even close to how he acts, she's the problem. It all boils down to surface level interactions and shared interests. Violent and belligerent anger will be seen as more manly and admirable. Threats will get men far and scare everyone into submission.
If you're a pickme, or a woman who has few female friends because you don't trust them, or have been hurt by them in the past, you might think men are cool, trustworthy, free of drama. They aren't. The sooner you learn this, the better. You'll never be their equals, and they rarely will see you as such.

No. 290278

>>290210
Nonna, I feel you because I'm probably in the same situation (I don't know for sure if my ex got a gf but seems like he did), but I think it's for the better. I also always thought it's possible to stay friends with exes and all, but the more I think about it, I wasn't 100% fine while talking to him (little things would upset me etc.) but I was in a sort of denial about that, plus it obviously wasn't the same anymore anyways. Ofc I don't know how it was for you, maybe completely different. But still, I think it actually makes things way easier if you cut all contact after breaking up and now I understand people who do that.
It sucks though, it's really annoying that it seems many men are just too lazy and cowardly?.. to do something that's "emotionally heavy" but right. It's like they just throw you away like some kind of incovenience. And even that is for the better, because then they're not even worthy of being missed.

No. 290306

Bleh. You couldn't pay me to be friends with a man.

No. 290368

>>289604
I have been dealing with this for 8 years now also. I go from intense feelings of rage towards him for being so innapropriate and putting so much undue pressure on me and feeling terribly guilty for opening up to him and being affectionate. I love him as a person and nothing more and sometimes I simply forget he might not be able to grasp this. I'm also on the spectrum so a bit slow with social interactions but only last year he told me he would be jealous if I got a boyfriend, I just said nothing because I mind blank in confrontational situations and then I am haunted by not putting him in place when I have the chance to. He punishes me also for talking to our friends which are technically his but I am now apart of the friend group as we all play a particular game together. I'm rambling but I really need to get this off my chest because it is literally eating me up inside and who am I supposed to vent about it to for clarity? Dudes he has been friends with longer than I? Anyway I'm sorry anon and I feel like it is a certain type of pain people can't easily relate to and I don't trust that anyone will not accuse me of doing things to perpetuate the situation when I have never been even slightly flirtatious or romantic with him

No. 290369

>>290368
Samefag but even here I feel the need to clarify my affection is platonic by defintion

No. 290376

File: 1664161966994.jpeg (57.49 KB, 800x481, 5e7.jpeg)

I've been really lucky that my male friends haven't been creeps only trying to use our friendships for sex. Best friend is a bi dude I live with, it's been great bullying him into being a better dude. He's also the type to call out other dudes for being sexist which puts me at ease. My other friend is his best male friend who I'm pretty sure is gay but he refuses to sleep with anyone. My best female friends are lesbian or asexual, so I never hear about dudes unless bi friend mentions his grindr horror stories. We're an alphabet soup group without trannies which is super nice. We also have similar nerdy interests so it's just a vibe.

No. 290425

>>290278
thanks for the kind words nonnita, I know you're right

No. 290429

>>290376
Glad you're having a good experience with moids nonny.

Just make sure to stay vigilant about new acquaintances because you're in the minority here having good friendships with non-creepy moids

No. 290434

>>290376
>bi
>dude
>live with
You should start sleeping with pepper spray under your pillow.

No. 290442

>>289551
This is so retarded saying this as a GNC lesbian.

No. 290454

>>289551
>masculine / feminine sexuality
What a bunch of retarded bullshit though I can see why you'd get along with moids.

No. 290455

>>289551
Yeah you seem like the type of woman to have male “friends”

No. 290459

>>289551
I'm feminine, but sexually dominant. Guess I can't be platonic friends with anyone according to this retardo logic.

No. 290460

>>289551
I'm butch4both, fine with either topping or bottoming. By your logic I can't be friends with anyone kek. Not every butch is dominant.

No. 290487

File: 1664214769882.png (2.3 MB, 1920x1920, 19052368991.png)

>>289551
>not that I believe in switches but whatever

No. 290498

>>290460
So… You're a sub? How do you feel about bisexual women nonnie? for purely scientific reasons

No. 290499

My best friend is a dude and there has never been any attraction between us (I'm not his type and he is too young for me), we have the same sense of humor and similar tastes, also he admires me a lot and thinks I'm a wealth of knowledge because I introduced him to a lot of mangas. He came last summer for a few days and we had so much fun, we got piercings together and went to cool places. Being friends with a guy is totally possible but it's very rare I guess.

No. 290510

>>290499
Now say your age.

No. 290511

>>290434
Or check for hidden cameras

No. 290521

>>290510
I'm 29 and he is 25, why? Do I sound underage?

No. 290522

>>290498
I guess I am a form of submissive, but I have no problem acting dominant if requested service top I guess? It's complicated. I'm neutral about bi women, I've met great ones and bad ones, so I judge on a case-by-case basis, so like usual.

No. 290524

Old-ishfag and it's funny seeing my old post >>78577
I've since dated a man (depressing, a learning experience) and also had a very close friendship with a man (not the one in my op) who rejected me. Since then I've also been hit on enough to say I'm okay-looking, and had several more platonic male friends who never made a move on me as well as a few that did. I've also gone from fat and androgynous to thin and feminine, and everything in between. So it's not me.

It's a gamble whether you can net an earnest male friend, but my reasoning now is that it depends on the dude. It's almost as if they're people or something.

No. 290555

>>290487
Do you smell what the Rock is cookin, skank?

No. 290654

>Do you think there is even a point in making friends with men?
Sure. male socialization is cancer but it doesn’t automatically turn every one of them into raping assholes. As long as you are careful and aware of those problems you should be fine. I wouldn’t judge a woman for not wanting to hang out with men though because those problems are huge.

One of my oldest friends I trust a lot, we have been through so much and I slept often at his place because I always felt comfortable in his company and would do it again without second thought anytime. Love this guy in particular. In general I couldn’t be friends with anyone that I wouldn’t share a bed with platonically. I always kept the ones who appear as if they have trouble respecting boundaries or are just nice because they want sex at arm’s lenght and will continue to do so.
I’m friends with a bunch of guys since forever. I more or less trust all of them but am aware of their socialization.

No. 290762

>>290654
How many of your moid friends have girlfriends? Do you have relationship with those girls? How do you think your moid friends react if their girlfriends say they’re uncomfortable with the fact that you are willing to sleep in the same bed, platonically?

No. 290812

>>290762
Some of them do. I get along good with them as well even if we dont know each other as long. I honestly have no Idea how those guys would react in a situation like that, if they would be understanding or how much they would take it personal, but I think some do understand that many women have justified trust issues due to bad experience, or at least they should. They suck if they don’t lol

No. 291468

All men are trash and only want one thing and won’t take no for an answer.
About four years ago I found myself in a friend group, being sheltered almost all my life i was excited to finally have friends that were not just internet based so I started to hangout with them, it was a group of guys I knew from high school, nerdy so I didn’t think they were a threat and besides, my friend I knew since I was six was in that group and they all knew I was dating a girl at the time.
But behind my back one of the guys would talk about wanting to date me which disturbed me, I turned him down telling him I’m not interested and he knows I’m dating a girl. This turned into him spreading rumors behind my back causing everyone I knew even my online friends to become distant and no longer be friends with me, the group of men including my childhood friend told me to kill myself, the person i was dating at the time broke up with me because she couldn’t trust me because of the lies that were spread. It took me months to recover I tried ending my life and when I finally recovered I tried making a friend again, but things just repeat. This friend kept asking me out Every time I turned him down he would get pushy even one time pushing me on the bed and tried to take advantage of me and threading his own suicide if I didn’t date him.
Men are pathetic and cannot take NO for an answer, if you turn them down you’re insane, you’re a whore even if you’re a virgin, you’re horrible because you wouldn’t do what they want.
I’m sorry for ranting and telling you a long ass story on an old ass thread but the short answer is; No, men aren’t worth your time.

No. 291776

File: 1664642699560.jpg (95.53 KB, 865x1195, Fd3axZ7XwAAhdC4.jpg)

>>78523

Got cockblocked by a moid """friend""" yesterday. He was an openly bisexual moid who made gay sex "jokes" around his guy friends.

So for context, there was this boy I like in my class, and he's in the group chat this moid started for the "based" members of the class. I sit next to the cute boy, and chat with him every class, he seems happy to see me, is friendly to me, everything's going good. I complement him on his outfit, he gives the cutest smile and thanks me.

Since this moid friend was asking everybody at our table and nearby our Discord socials, he was inviting others to his groupchat. He talks about his wacky groupchat adventures like every class, and the other guys like chuckle in response. I notice he doesn't ask me, and I, wanting to join in on the fun, ask for an invite. He says he took a screenshot of my Discord, but then never contacts me. Considering how friendly he was to me and everybody else, I was confused.

And then he did something that pissed me off. When I was talking with the cute boy, and asked him if he had a Discord, since we were on the topic, this moid butted in, and started pestering the cute boy to leave with him and go to his next class. The cute boy was confused, but the moid kept demanding he come with him. The moid then rushed the cute boy out the door, while everyone else was still in class, standing around the tables getting their things.

I hate this sm but idk what to do about it. I don't want my budding relationship to be ruined by some jealous moid going after someone likely off limits.

No. 291799

M/F friendship doesn't exist. Males only bother talking to women because they want to get into our panties. Also, all males are sexist and I will not swallow my pride and listen to their ignorant and prejudiced bullshit just so I can have the privilege of having a male friend. I once studied in an all-girls classroom and it was so good. Males have negative energy and their presence is enough to bring the mood down.

No. 291825

>>290762
I cut off multiple male friends because they are creepy towards or have a history of being creepy. One of the evilest type of men I hate are the ones that use their female friends to compare their gf to in order to make them insecure
Although it is funny if you're the female friend then women who are outing him assume you're just a potential gf and you get all the tea

On the other hand most men have bland ass personalities so why even be friends?

No. 292198

A moid can't be your friend because of its life cycle. It's about as possible as befriending a tapeworm. The same goes for romantic relationships, obviously.

Everything about the male is built to propagate at your expense, or directly siphon any and all resources they can access. Even if you two perceive each other as friends or mutual beneficiaries, the underlying dynamic will never be that.

https://www.nature.com/articles/s43587-022-00276-y

No. 292201

File: 1664830723345.png (2.42 MB, 1050x1192, 1646500518217.png)

I was friends with "one of the good ones" for six years and out of the blue at midnight he sends me a long winded message which basically boiled down to "You're not like other girls, can we go on on a date and have sex now?" Even though he damn well knows I hate men and I'm celibate.
I didn't have any high expectations of him anyway and I didn't really perform any labor for him emotional or otherwise so it's no real loss. I just kept him around to share memes and sperg about a mutual hobby. I expend my energy on female friendships only. Even "good men" are shit.

No. 292284

File: 1664872405683.jpg (6.07 KB, 255x198, 73379968-cedb-41fa-82c2-c10523…)

Male friends can be awesome when you two have clear boundaries and you both agree that you don't like each other that way or even find each other attractive.

However. The moid shit always comes out. They might be excellent friends for plenty if reasons but the scrotal shit embedded in their brain always alwaaaays ends up being a problem in some way or another. They always end up doing some crap that you know you'll hate even after years and years of knowing them, befriending them and considering them as close as family. It's even worse when you become pinkpilled and start noticing the bullshit.

Men have their ways, and their whole self is XY coded so of course the defectiveness will surge one day. Such is the way of my male ex best friend and how even though we stablished we were like brothers, he ended up showing me his overt male side. It's not that he started wanting to courship me or anything. Sometimes the scroteness comes out in other ways. I will not disclose what he did exactly but let me tell you I was so dumb for thinking he wasn't like other guys, he totally was. It was a sad experience and I saw him changing into another completely different person. I still think there's something there that reminds me of my past friend. But we're not in each other's lives anymore. You are made to move on.

No. 292291

Ive only ever seen this work well with old people, Im talking 70+.

No. 292544

>>292198 the tapeworm analogy is spot on.. recently realized this after having the worst case of these tapeworms having ulterior motives, i used to just brush their shit off and try to stay friends because.. i genuinely just want them as a friend. this tapeworm however did me so dirty, got bitter that i never showed interest in him, while he's constantly been fooling around with girls around him anyway so why would i even consider seeing him in a romantic sense.. he became really cold and basically treated me like dust for months while this used to be one of my closest friends i talked to and had a good time with every day. basically just shittalks me to everyone in the most little bitch way while never having given me an explanation for this sudden change. even ignored me when i asked. then someone close to him reaches out to me and explains its because he thought we had a mutual interest…… and that i lead him on?…. its bullshit to everyone cuz this person engaged in gross shit with random girls he'd come across for 1 week until he got bored or so, he even did this 2 to 1 month before he decided to ruin our friendship.
I'd say.. if you have this happen to you once or twice even, give up on moid friendships cuz this damaged my trust on another level and i dont think i'll ever care to be friends with one again. Theres obviously exceptions but thats all they are, exceptions and it's unlikely to come across them. spare yourself the effort of getting emotionally attatched and caring for another moid in a pure platonic way, theyre just parasitic.

No. 292559

I have one close male friend that i've kept since 15 ish (22 now), he did confess twice in highschool but I rejected him both times and he's got the hint (I really really hope so atleast). he's never made it weird and i do value our friendship, but i've since been pinkpilled and he's gotten a gf in the last year and seeing his behavior with her is so fucking disappointing >>292284 is right about noticing the bullshit. he of course treats her like second mommy, not doing his laundry, cooking, cleaning, doing the groceries, etc. for himself. she's a feminist, and so so close to being fed up, but is literally a handmaiden to him. not to mention this last weekend i went to hangout with them and there was some glaring tension between the two - later found out they've been going through a fight of sorts - and the way he was being was so nasty. saying things in front of me and their roommate that was low-key degrading but plays off as a joke. like the kind of boomer humor that's just lowkey i hate my wife. they're both my friends but as a woman she can do much better, and just witnessing it all is starting to make him disgusting to me. i've told her that bc they're both my friends i wouldnt want to wish bad on them, but even she said this last weekend that she doesnt think he'd love her if she didn't do all of these things for him…
sage for blogpost hope i didn't get too ot, besides getting burned by every other male friend i've tried to have in the past by them confessing and then leaving after rejection, seeing this too makes me think it's actually impossible to hold a fulfilling friendship with a man. what a sad gender

No. 292566

>>292559
>he did confess twice in highschool but I rejected him both times
>Treats her current gf like shit
>saying things in front of me that were low-key degrading but plays off as a joke
Me thinks he didn't got what he actually wanted and now is throwing a tantrum

No. 292584

>>292201
I can’t believe how many guy friends have done shit like this. I knew some of them for literal years, they never implied they wanted more than friendship, then out of the blue they start getting creepy or pushy or sending weird texts at 2am, then they ghost after they don’t immediately get the reaction they want. It’s bizarre how often I’ve heard very similar stories from other women too. So weird.

No. 292607

For me, male friendships have always been deeper and the conversations way more interesting than with women.

However, this could be because they just want to fuck me so they put effort in kek

No. 292633

>>292607
Not a friendship then

No. 292665

>>292607
unfortunately women are socialised to play a conciliatory role in conversations, i.e we're constantly having to prop up, support and play as an intermediary between speakers. men are able to express ideas a lot more directly bc they havent been socialised to be constantly thinking about the other partys role in a discussion – it is my genuine belief that more women would be amazing conversationalists if we had more chances to have critical and important discussions in female-only spaces (because as soon as a male is introduced into a discussion he will automatically make it all about him)

No. 292670

My moid friend is travelling across the country to spend my birthday with me. I'm kinda shocked he offered because we don't see eachother often and his girlfriend has BPD so I didn't think he'd even risk a meltdown. It's gonna be fun. I rarely spend time with a guy, I'm usually surrounded by other women

No. 292691

>>292670
Anon… He has bitched to you about his gf and is now coming to see you even if it makes her mad? Are you also going to be partying? Is he staying the night with you? Pls beware.

No. 292697

>>292670
Lmaoooo you're so naive

No. 292708

>>292670
I feel so bad for the gf, how can you be excited for this knowing what it will do to her?

No. 292719

>>292670
10 bucks she doesn’t have BPD and the moid is lying to get into your pants.

No. 292721

>>292719
This. It's not crazy or BPD to not be okay with a boyfriend traveling to see another woman to spend her birthday, possibly even spending the night. Men always say their gf/ex was BPD and then it turns out they were just scumbags/cheaters and the gf was rightfully upset or paranoid.

No. 292729

>>292719
>>292721
I agree with you anons that she most likely is a very normal woman he's demonizing but also, wouldn't it be even worse if she actually does have BPD? And the guy doing this kind of thing to a mentally ill person with premeditation? If you hate your bpd gf so much just break up, not torture her even more, it's shitty enough without someone going out of their way to hurt such person

No. 292730

>>292721
seconding. was best friends with a guy for 7+ years, always thought he was one of my closest friends and one of the exceptions, had a gf the entire time as well. spent the entire friendship saying she was crazy, paranoid, etc. the day they broke up, literally that afternoon, he asks me out and then did not continue the friendship after rejection.

No. 294096

I’ve been friends with a guy for 7 years. He’s know I was gay for 5 of those years. Tonight he sent me a long ass text message saying he has feelings for me and he feels like a bad friend and had a mental breakdown about it. I think he only has feeling for me recently since he’s failed at dating really badly this last year and I’m the only woman other than his sister who he talks to. It’s really awkward now. I replied “damn sorry about that” and he said “it’s not your fault” and nothing else in 10 hours. I literally have a girlfriend why are men like this.

No. 294098

Just from my own personal experience, it's worked well for me. I tend to talk and act pretty masculine and people just shed their biases about how they think women behave. Never had to deal with any flirting, which made everything feel really comfortable. I'm just into more "male" interests and get along better with men platonically. I wish I was better at talking to women though.

No. 294105

>>292670
So you're okay with being a pawn for another woman's emotional abuse? Tell him to cut the shit and be a half decent bf for once

No. 294111

>>294098
I think it's the same for me, I'm not butch or tomboyish but I carry myself in a sort of masculine way, I've always had this feeling that guys see me more like a pal rather than a woman with dating potential. On one hand it's good because I never get catcalled or harassed but on the other hand I never get flirted with or asked out, and I too wish I had more girl friends.

No. 294114

>>292670
Posts like this remind me of the influx of young zoomers here

No. 304933

File: 1671835899041.png (399.99 KB, 680x681, catinabag.png)

a male, online friend is coming to visit my city next year and wants to meet (we have already met IRL but it was with a mutual friend). He didn’t ask if I wanted to meet he just assumed I would want to but I really really don’t. Reason being is I have a feeling he is hoping we end up having sex. He is openly flirty sometimes and has said he finds me attractive before. I flirted with him a bit when we were bored during lockdown, which was a big mistake. Nothing explicit and it has since ceased but enough to make me think he now has expectations. It would just be too awkward to deal with.

Aside from this, I just don’t want to meet. It’s an online-only friendship for me and I don’t really enjoy socialising IRL in general. Not sure if it's my autism or generally being a loner or what. It’s always just unenjoyable, stressful and awkward. How can I get out of this? Or is this just a doomed friendship? We've known each other a decade now.

I used to have this problem with male friendships when I was younger and have since stopped making friends with men, other than this longer term friendship. I don't have many friends though, especially not close ones so it would suck for it to end.

No. 304943

File: 1671845748648.jpg (161.65 KB, 1200x600, boo.jpg)

>>304933
Honestly I'd just rip off the bandaid and say that it's awkward and you see no point in it, that you prefer online friendships. Yeah, you could always make an excuse but I think it's best to put the boundary down so you can get clarity from him instead of living in limbo.

No. 305033

File: 1671936785665.jpg (5.95 KB, 150x150, 1449250987372.jpg)

>>304933
i'd really advise not meeting. i met one of my long-term female friends irl one time, and there were absolutely no sexual expectations, but i just didn't really want to cuz i'm autistic, and i still regret it.

also he definitely thinks ur gonna have seggs if you were flirting before. i highly recommend bringing your true feelings up with him. otherwise don't meet

No. 305038

File: 1671942118675.jpg (33.78 KB, 564x564, 6ebfc36b81fb40f6459bc61db97bc4…)

A younger (early 20sish), dumber me repeatedly hurt herself befriending straight guys who actually just wanted to fuck her. It was a lesson that was hard for me to learn and I repeated it many times. I still resent some of the men with whom I spent months/years forming what I thought were meaningful friendships only to completely ghost me when I got a boyfriend or respectfully declined their advances. I wasn't perfect either though, there were times when I wasn't as kind as I should.

I also had a hard time forming lasting friendships with gay men in college, I think partly because many of them were at a point in their lives where they were still enjoying the novelty of being out & mostly just wanted to be around other gay guys. Now that I'm in my late 20s I find it easier to be friends with gay men.

The most successful friendships I've had with men are with ones who are sort of asexual/volcel-ish and/or are in secure & successful longterm relationships.

I do have a small handful of straight guy friends who were once in a "possibly potential romantic partner" space for a while, and I've been able to carefully maintain those friendships by being friendly-but-not-too-friendly, keeping them at a distance and never letting our conversations get too long. We're now mostly all at a point where we're in secure relationships and its a little easier to avoid dicey territory.

No. 305353

I feel like the problem is in how moids and women view friendship. I had a guy once rant to me that interacting with me felt like a sexless relation. I don't think that's nevessarily wrong. Moid friendships seem very distant, and they tend to do stuff together rather than talk. And when they do talk it's closer to arguing.

No. 305361

File: 1672229470121.gif (89.22 KB, 96x96, 1665047983099703.gif)

>>305356
This unironically reads like an /r9k/ post, except with the genders swapped.
Moids are fine, mostly. They mess around more than they bond, but they're honest about it. I think that's why they mistake female friends for possible partners.

No. 305363

>>305362
no, me

No. 305372

>>304943
>>305033
thank you nonas, i will avoid meeting and if he asks why i will be honest but hope it doesn't come to addressing it because it will be awkward af.

No. 305411

>>305361
>They mess around more than they bond, but they're honest about it.
and that's "fine" to you?

No. 305819

File: 1672465958334.jpg (16.84 KB, 236x295, d2233b0ec60302c9c5f4e258375271…)

never had male friends hoping to just smash, but a few developed feelings for me and it makes me cringe every time. i can't help it but i lose all respect for a mfer.

currently facing an ambiguous situation at work with a part-timer and it's exhausting. we started off nicely as friends and i was looking forward to his shifts because he was the only person who listened to my sperging about vidya. now i'm getting the vibe that he might be into me because he keeps saying that he wants to do this or that outside of work with me specifically. i can't even reject him outright, since he won't grow a pair and just ask me out. it's making me dread being alone with him at this point. honestly infuriating how shy moids refuse to confess nor get a hint when you dodge their every move and specifically say that you're not looking for anything romantic like every week.

No. 305847

>>305819
Try to send huge hint, such as:
"you know I hate when someone is (characteric he specifically has)" or right to femcell quote "men are useless to society, we should burn them all".
Be mean to him, make fun when he gets wrong.

No. 305853

>>305819
He isn't straightforward precisely because he suspects you might reject him. Be firm and gentle. Hints don't work on most guys.
Give him a "just so we're on the same page" disclaimer without sounding like an outright rejection. Just be prepared for him to lose interest after that.
also
>le im a shutin because im so smart quote from a litarally who

No. 305866

Just gonna post my own personal vent here. A dear friend of my Nigel's came to spend Christmas with us. He visits frequently and I've known him for years, very sweet and intelligent guy with severe ADHD. We all get along famously and I've spent many nights up with them, chatting about our mutual interests and dumb shit. His mother passed recently and it was a really bad situation. She had been sick for quite some time and he cared for her throughout. Naturally, I felt a lot of sympathy and we refused to let him spend Christmas alone. He even came to my in-laws Christmas Eve dinner with some of my family members as well. He's never seen me dress up, wear make up or act as a lady. As this nonna said >>78527 I adopted the "bro" behavior to deter any of my Nigel's moid friends being interested in me. That night I had switched it off, was my usual, warm and womanly self. Didn't think anything of it until I happened to lock eyes with old buddy and he was STARING at me. In THAT way. Kinda awestruck and puppylike. I was startled, looked away then looked back and the dude was still STARING. I cleared my throat and looked down, with a fairly disappointed expression and he snapped out of it. cont.

No. 305867

>>305866
Cont.
I mean dude you were sitting in front of my dad, and next to my in-laws. What the fuck?? That night we all resumed our usual chat around the table, but I felt so tense and dismayed. Old buddy didn't make a move, but my Nigel left for some time to shower, etc. and the conversation shifted drastically to personal topics. Kept having to steer it into "annoying" aspects of myself to deter further delving. I'm so fucking disappointed. Utterly. This one moid I believed to be better, not amazing, but better than the rest of course just ruined himself in my perspective. Now grieving his mother may have had an impact, I don't know, but it was unsettling as fuck. Once men see women being beautiful, charming and etc. They throw all their scruples out the window. I don't think that men are capable of being friends with women in the long term. Not in terms of forging a lasting friendship.

No. 305871

>>305867
I’m so sorry anon. You got magic pixie dreamed girl and that fucking sucks

No. 305873

>>305866
not to blame you but avoiding femininity for the bro persona and whipping it out now probably added to the shock/appeal for him. don't let males control how you present yourself they'll be bad people if they are no matter what

No. 305887

File: 1672507264382.png (369.59 KB, 502x277, 1512321228186.png)

It's funny that I found this thread now because I have my own vent that happened fairly recently. It's long.

SO. I was supposed to meet up with my online best friend earlier this month, and upon telling him that my husband was going to be coming with us for the entire time of us hanging out, he got weirdly offended. He said he didn't want to be "babysat" by my husband, and that he's fine meeting him but he doesn't want him there the entire time. I explained to him that either my husband is there, or we're not meeting up period. We had a pretty civil discussion which ended in disagreement and haven't spoken since.

For context, my husband is fine with me having male friends, and he had known of my friend's existence for like five years now. He just didn't want me going off on my own with a man I had never met before, which is understandable. My friend also isn't romantically interested in me as he has a girlfriend, so I know it's not because he wanted to make a move on me or anything. He's never said anything that would make me think he was into me.

I'm sad because he was someone I could vent to about the most random shit, and our voice calls would always be so much fun. Now, I think our friendship is dead and I have to move on.

No. 305890

>>305887
Even if he isn't romantically interested it's strange that, after hearing that your husband is coming along, his mind immediately went to thinking he was being "babysat". It just seems so defensive to me. It would definitely make me wonder what his true intentions were even if he's never seemed romantically interested in you. But him having a girlfriend wouldn't necessarily stop him from trying to pursue things with you. Sometimes men try to monkey-branch before they break up with someone just so they don't have to be alone. Not saying that's necessarily what he was trying to do, but if he was a real friend then he shouldn't have a problem with being around your husband.

No. 305891

>>305887
>>305890
It's a power and authority thing. You're bringing along a foreign male figure who he can only assume is there to keep an eye on him, and make sure he doesn't try anything. Men are apprehensive about foreign men. Even if he's only platonically interested, having that obstacle is still weird and maybe even a kind of threat.

No. 305899

>>305887
Sounds sus as hell to me. You’ve never met before and he can’t handle one hang out that includes your husband? The fact that it’s your first meeting and he can’t concede a bit to put you and your husband at ease is weird and insulting. Forget him.

No. 305902

My 2 best friends for the past 15 years are male and they're stellar examples of men (with their faults ofc). I became friends with them because I was a heavy gamer in school so we played WoW together and it grew from there. I was really socially awkward and didn't share any hobbies with the girls that I could tell, so it was nice to have an activity to focus on instead of chatting. They're kind and compassionate and I've seen them mature into reasonable people (and have tipped over into full TERF beliefs (or just TE?) since our country introduced a ridiculous gender recognition bill which is nice). They've emotionally supported me when I was going through hard times and paid for my food when I was struggling financially.

I have a suspicion one harboured a crush on me in our early years but it's long gone now. He's never had a gf at 31 so I don't really know what's going on there. The other was more…horny I guess kek and used to have blatant obsessions over specific girls for a year or two and would talk about them non stop, but has a fiancee that he pours all his romantic passion into, and does cheesy shit like 12 days of gifts before valentines day and all that.

University was the worst with these fake male friends, more or less every one had ulterior motives but it never swayed my opinion on all men because the 2 described above kept me steady in the knowledge there are decent ones.

No. 305903

>>305890
>>305899

I agree! He even had concerns about my relationship because my husband is a little older than me and found our relationship "strange". I can't help but think he has something against my husband, and if he was someone different (someone my age, I guess), maybe he wouldn't have reacted this way. When my husband and I talked about this last, he felt kind of hurt because it seemed like my friend straight up just didn't like him because of his age.

Only female friends for me from now on. I don't want to deal with something like this ever again.

No. 305908

>>305887
for how long he has been your online friend?

No. 305910

>>305871
It does, and for the first time in a long time I let my guard slip for a moid. Thought he could be better and I was wrong.
>>305873
Nonna I agree with you completely. This experience has changed how I view all my Nigel's friends and how I alter my behavior. I shouldn't have to and these dickheads should be able to control themselves. Fucking hate moids, but dammit I like my Nigel. FUCK.

No. 305913

>>305908
Like five years, we've known each other for quite awhile.

No. 306965

i find that many of my male friends are unemployed and live with their moms.

i have one male friend in particular, he is kind, smart and knowledgeable and we get on. however, he complains about his life nonstop and never takes any suggestions to improve it and dismisses them completely.

he is spoiled and his 'mental illness' is a result of boredfom from his privileged lifestyle. literally lives at home doing nothing all day while mummy takes care of him. i find it really aggravating that he constantly is depressed. i really wish people like this would at least go volunteer and see people who truly have a reason to be depressed.

No. 307389

>>306965
Maybe a little unrelated, but my only standard for dating a guy is for him to take care of himself(Aka: have a clean room, do his own laundry, do his own dishes). Literally that’s it, and unfortunately I can name the guys on only one of my hands who actually does this.

No. 324596

>>219616
I would like to update; he and his gf are finally getting married, and he has asked me to stand on his side of the bridal party as a (grooms-?)maide.
When she showed me her ring i busted out in a happy sob and i am guaranteed to cry that day. I love my friends and I am so fucking lucky to not only have such a longstanding friendship, but now I get to proudly stand by his side for another life moment.
When I was 18 i met his gf for the first time. I told him that night i cant wait to be there for the wedding one day. She is so wonderful and they are a perfect match made.
Soon maybe I will be Aunty (anon), and that just sweetens it all. Im not one for higher powers, but i cant help but think he is the brother I always wanted growing up, and i am thankful for it all.

No. 324600

>>324596
That's really nice, I'm glad you have a good friendship like that in your life.

No. 324602

>>324600
Thank you sweet nonna!

No. 324845

>>307389
Sage for derailing but nonna, those standards aren't anywhere near enough. The bar for men is already in hell, please respect and love yourself more and have higher standards. You deserve better than that. The lower we set the bar for moids, the more harm we are doing towards ourselves - straight and bi women - and the society as a whole, where scrotes will simply not improve anything because doing the basic minimum human things will get themselves a girl like you, and think that they're enough. They are not, we should keep the bar high. At the end of the day women choose men, not the other way around.

No. 325613

>>307389
seconding the anon above, your standards put you at risk of scrotes using you as a wallet and being "stay at home boyfriends" and draining you emotionally physically mentally etc as he whines that ~he does his share of the chores already so you asking him to do more is so mean when he's so tired and down these days~ and gets mad at you for not wanting to hear about his dipshit hobbies you don't care about when he doesn't listen to yours either

No. 387239

>romantically reject a guy
>he now hates you for causing him great pain (he wanted you to be his girlfriend)
>he is mean to you

wow

No. 387240

>>325613
stay at home boyfriends are based. They are secure in their masculinity and like strong and independent women

No. 387476

>>387240
no, they're moochers and video game addicts kek

No. 392324

>Friends with moid for 5 years
>We do everything together
>When he loses his job I pay for his rent, food, give him money to fix his car. Never pays me back, that's fine, we're friends
>Deal with his retarded chinese girlfriend doxxing me and sending my workplace lies about me because she was jealous of our relationship
>Still friends after they break up
>He meets a new woman and gets engaged to her quickly
>Stops talking to me because apparently she's jealous of me
>Literally never met this woman before
>They get a discount from my stepdad and hold their wedding at my stepdad's place
>LITERALLY PROCEED TO UNINVITE ME FROM THEIR WEDDING. He claims he's 'forced to do it' by his crazy wife and has no choice. Despite the wedding location being, again, MY STEPDAD'S PLACE.
>Get divorced from her mere months later after moving to another country to be with her.
>Has the audacity to call me and ask me for money.

lol, lmao even. I never even met his wife. Male friends are the worse.

No. 392328

>>392324
this is insanely bizarre. I’m so in awe of your selflessness and good character. I think I would’ve killed him with a hammer.

No. 392336

I haven't had a male friend in many many years, but I remember a funny time in school. I was friends with this moid and he was those basketball shorts and cringe t shirt wearing even in winter ones. I told him to start wearing pants and better shirts because he looked retarded and a few days later he actually changed. Turned out he had a crush on me and I said ewww when he confessed and I watched him continually trying to better himself kek. With how scarce regular moids are he got popular with other girls and got a girlfriend. Men and women really can't be friends and if you are don't be a good person like you would to your female friends; just keep comparing him to other pretty moids and make fun of his XY antics as a passing time

No. 392385

File: 1713570046389.jpg (53.72 KB, 720x466, 68747470733a2f2f73332e616d617a…)

I've got plenty of stories but honestly, I think the most painful one was the friendship I had with a moid that I fallen for later on in the friendship but felt bad about it because he was in the midst of a breakup with a serious gf at the time. He'd always come around whenever he needed advice and such, which I did not had any issue giving at the time because, hey, we're friends. But anytime I was going through something in my life, or if I just needed some kind of emotional support for days when I just felt like shit… he was either silent, would ghost me, or acted like talking to me was a chore. The last straw was when he got with some other girl and when I realized the heaviness of my feelings for him, decided to keep a big distance so that they can date in peace and for me to move on and focus on myself. A month went by, he hits me up. I told him I needed space, was going through things, not to worry and that I'll talk to him when I'm ready. He would laugh and say that he's my friend and that he would always wanna help me but sure, he'll give me space. Weeks went by.. I was doing better and better. Then he sent me a text:

>i miss you


And some other stuff. Thinking that it was better to have him as a friend than nothing at all, decided to talk to him again. He asked me how I was. I told him and asked him how he was. And just like that, he ghosted me. For no good reason. There was just no explanation or any logical sense to it. I remember feeling just blown away by it all. I blocked him, cried, and here we are a few years later laughing about it to myself. It's honestly crazy that I thought men and women could potentially be friends, but men really can't help but objectify women and if you have no use for him, he will just leave you behind. Men leave their terminally ill wives all the time, what's a friend?

No. 392398

>>392336
My male friend is balding and I make fun of him and send him balding related memes and articles about how to stop it kek. I'm my most vile real self with him and say shit I can't say in front of my female friends in front of him instead to get it off my chest. He's also the only person I openly share most of my autism with because he doesn't make me feel bad about it, my friends are too normie for that stuff, and my younger sister thinks I'm weird for it. He also shows me his electrician autism and likes to collect old thrown away electronics, clean them, fix them and sell them and he explains the process to me even though I don't get it, but it's fun and teaches me new stuff sometimes. While I teach him other stuff I know and fun facts about my autistic interests. Only thing I keep a secret from him is my husbando because that's too embarrassing and I'm never sharing that with anyone other than anons on the husbando thread kek.

No. 392441

File: 1713611179194.png (153.19 KB, 640x545, IMG_5954.png)

Is it bad that I’m kind of mad because one of my male friends literally doesn’t have a crush on me? I’m used to moids having a crush on me every time we are friends, but he literally doesn’t like me at all even though we have lots of stuff in common. I’m the opposite of his type too but it just feels weird talking to a moid knowing he genuinely likes you for you and has 0 interest in you at all. It’s normal to view male friendships like this because 99.9% of the type they just want to fuck, right?

No. 392449

>>392441
Yes it's bad you feel mad. Try having better self respect.

No. 392451

Guys might not use you for sex but their ‘friendship’ revolves sponging off you.

In hindsight, junior high school me was orbiting guy ‘friends’ who were using me as a free therapist to whine to when their gfs were not giving them enough attention.

No. 393336

File: 1713982302186.jpg (209.91 KB, 735x842, 68eee2f5b7b7c299b27fa302e15dcc…)

I was best friends with three guys since the start of high school. We hung out almost every day, went out, and I really considered them close. I never confided in them because I'm a bit reserved and cold when it comes to emotions, but I never saw that as a problem since they also didn't confide in me. I wasn't the only girl in the friend group, yet I was the only one they treated like shit. Long story short, after going to therapy, I realized how badly they were treating me. They treated me like an object - a token female girlfriend. I was just a pretty accessory to them every time we went out. They never asked for my opinion, treated me as one of the guys, expected me to do all the planning every time, never agreed to my compromises, etc. Basically, the first time I stood my ground and defended myself, they all backstabbed me and started talking shit about me without even giving me a chance to defend myself. Maybe it was my fault I never confided in them, but I couldn't believe they would do the things they did. I could write an essay on how much I'm hurt and how much I hate them for it. I'm sad I lost 10 years of my life hanging out with them when I could've been making female friends.

No. 393372

>>392398
Honestly this is the one thing I miss about having male friends, I felt free to be extra rude and gross around them because I didn't give a fuck what they thought about me but I feel like I have to be on my best behavior around other women because I don't want to scare them away kek

No. 393481

File: 1714034439938.jpg (120.29 KB, 1179x1141, Tumblr_l_7598019766273.jpg)

>>393336
Shiiiit that is such a fucked up thing to do to someone. I'm glad you're out of that and sorry it happened. My 2 guy best friends from high school were each examples of leftist moid and right-wing moid losers, honestly. One wants me to be their quirky indie dream forever girl, and the other wants me to be their big tiddy goth gf. Of course we had some great times together, especially before Facebook really pushed our whole friend group into political chaos (crustpunk hipsters….) where everyone chose their side in the supposed culture war. What's funny is that I really would not have cared at the time if either had come to me and wanted to just fool around since we're horny teenagers and the bar gets pretty low because of that, but there's just no way a guy can ever be normal about a sexual encounter with a woman and see her as a human being afterwards. Super annoying. Luckily, one of them had a very hot girlfriend that figured out they were lame pretty fast, and was my very hot girlfriend for a while. Last one I talked to was the right wing guy 4 years ago and he said there was going to be a civil war and to get a water distiller. The leftoid blocked me to stay safe from having to hear about actual feminism when all he really wanted was to buy women and paint his nails and call it activism. As it's been said in this thread, I really do wish I had worked on making female friendships that stuck. I just was always weird and abrasive (probably autism idk) in the eyes of my female peers and I assumed they were all judging me for not measuring up. Unfortunately my past pickme self thought some level of fuckability shielded me from being judged on a deeper level. There is a certain hidden self-loathing from the woman who chooses excess male company, a certain awareness to the lack of authenticity that she can rely on to avoid difficult self reflection. After all, even if a man says you have an unpleasant personality or looks, it can just be framed as either kidding around, he doesn't understand because he's a guy, or that in some twisted way this is great because he sticks around anyway. Female judgement seems like it's coming from a direct and honest place that can't be obscured with cope. If anything caring too much about what other girls/women think can motivate a girl/woman to seek male friendships or validation. I know back then it was mostly because my female peers terrified me and I SO BADLY wanted them to like me. And I had been bullied by other girls most of my childhood. I was doomed from the start to be a moid orbiter. Sage for long blog post thing.

Getting back to topic, what do you feel causes a woman to persue a friendship with a male?

And

How can socially stunted women who are trying to escape having only/mainly guy friends find a quality female friendship?

No. 393515

>>393481
nta
>what do you feel causes a woman to persue a friendship with a male?
Just like other nonnies, I found friendships with hetero males less demanding although I quickly felt how unfulfilling and inauthentic they really were. Also I wasn't expected (by them) to be as rude as they were to each other, they would get openly offended even though it was always done as an obvious joke. But they weren't really that chill with each other either, the more emotional one would get pissed quite often and then they would just brush it off. They would be quite inconsiderate and negligent with each other but I could tell it wasn't really perceived as a normal thing because they did express resentment to each other in their own ways and, moreover, they complained to me. They weren't really friends in a full sense but it seemed like they lacked the sincerety and trust, and I guess it would be GAY to openly admit it. It was just one company though, and I witnessed something similar in other friend groups but I'm sure not everyone's like that. I just don't really believe in the male friendship memes now, where you allegedly can say or do anything without filter but you still stay Real Friends. It can never be like that, ok? Words and actions matter even if you actively pretend they don't (what even matters then?). They might laugh it off but they do harbor resentment. And they think shitty communication (or lack thereof) makes their relationships superior, because what can be worse than doing something minimally uncomfortable and be a little open/vulnerable? Only they're really just lonely at the end of the day, and if they have a girlfriend or a friend that is a girl she quickly becomes an emotional toilet. Also since I hit puberty I had only one hetero male friend (not close one though but we were quite friendly) that wasn't interested in me romantically or sexually, and I think it's rare (but won't say impossible) to be genuine friends with a hetero male. Those who I talked to/hanged out with gradually started losing interest once it became apparent I wasn't going to sleep with them, and those who were """in love""" (idealizing and projecting some shit while ignoring our obvious incompatibility) grew resentful and passive aggressive and stopped talking to me at all once they got gfs. I had a gay friend that was fun, smart and charismatic but he very likely has NPD and once my self worth started increasing I found it impossible to hang out with him. Also, looking back, he was way too misogynistic. I had some good friendships with boys only as a child.

No. 393608

I may be in the minority here since everyone here seems so struggle with maintaining a genuine male friendship only for them to reveal feelings of attraction… but in my situation it’s the inverse. I have a male friend who I am infatuated with and it’s very difficult navigating our conversations when secretly all I want to do is just admit my feelings for him. On several occasions I’ve thought about it but was always too terrified that it would ruin the dynamic of our relationship, any nonnas have advice on how to get over this? Should I tell him or just move on, perhaps cut down on contact to help get over the feelings? Even when I try that my mind always goes back to him.

No. 393636

I met someone on Reddit recently (CRINGE alert ik) in the context of language exchange. He’s from another country, one that I’ve visited and adore. Ik he’s kinda ugly in the face because he doxxed himself to me but other than that, he’s rich, athletic, has hobbies, loves his job, has a joy for life and overall touches grass and has things going for him. and his social media isn’t crawling with women. His post and comment history is so wholesome. What especially intrigues me is he doesn’t seem to be like the other language exchange guys, you can probably imagine what I’m talking about… he has no idea what I look like and doesn’t ask, the conversation never goes “that” way, and all of his other language exchange partners are dudes. I told him I wanted to travel back to his country and he didn’t hit me with “oh we should meet up” or anything, just gave me good suggestions on what to do. He always responds to me in a very timely manner and is so sweet in his messages but I think he may be like that for everyone. Idk, his genuine demeanor towards me and wholesomeness is making me start to catch feelings, but I’m satisfied just being treated so nicely if we never become anything more.

No. 393641

>>393636
Oh gosh nonna, I posted the previous reply and this sounds like it could be me. He’s also a little unattractive facially, but I don’t even mind and still find myself very sexually attracted to him in spite of it. We dm each other through reddit but we didn’t meet through there. He is very cordial and he never approaches our conversations with any sexual or romantic intent. He’s just a very interesting and polite guy to talk to. He responds to me quickly and comes across as very genuine, intelligent guy in our exchanges. I feel like I just have to cope with this forever and I enjoy our platonic conversations, I just wish things were more with him though it’s likely impossible.

No. 393647

>>393641
>On several occasions I’ve thought about it but was always too terrified that it would ruin the dynamic of our relationship
it would. don't do it
>Should I tell him or just move on, perhaps cut down on contact to help get over the feelings?
What good is telling him gonna do? Unless he's autistic, he already knows. If it makes you feel better then you can tell him but I don't see the point
>He is very cordial and he never approaches our conversations with any sexual or romantic intent
sounds like he may be gay
>perhaps cut down on contact to help get over the feelings
you should probably either stop talking to him or find someone else ASAP. It's fine to have a crush but it sounds like you are developing oneitis

No. 393648

Today I had a mutual facedox with a male internet friend. We have been friends for a little more than a year. When we first started talking to each other, we came to a mutual agreement to not facedox for the sake of privacy, so we had been faceless friends for a while. This didn’t mean that we didn’t dox in other ways, he did a ‘bodydox’ with pictures of him with his face cropped out. I had already grown attached to his personality, and with the body dox I became attracted to him, he does have a really nice body. I thought this was a form of him flirting so I sent back some pictures of me without showing my face. He responded positively, in ways I construed as him expressing attraction to me. We would do this occasionally, and then it led up to the big face reveal. We figured that it had been enough time being faceless to each other, and I was curious about who was speaking to. He said he wasn’t photogenic and looked better in motion so we joined a zoom meeting together. I joined the meeting and he was already there and when I appeared on screen for him he coughed at the exact moment in an awkward manner. I asked him if he was okay and he laughed it off like he was only having a coughing fit. Besides that, I was surprised he had a conventionally attractive face. I asked him if I looked like what he expected and he shrugged uncomfortably. I didn’t mention it for the rest of the meeting. When I was speaking to him he seemed slightly disconnected and looked away like he was preoccupied with something else, and taking time to respond to me, which is unlike his normal self and he never acted like that before. I could hear the discord notification sounds go off in the background and typing noises. I started to feel like he didn’t even want to talk to me so I told him I needed to take a shower. We used to have a running joke before the facedox where I would tell him that and he would say “without me?” He didn’t ask that this time, instead he gave me an apathetic “uh huh.” I don’t know what happened. He went from excited to find out what his friend looked like and now he hasn’t responded to my dms. I feel slightly paranoid but I think there is a chance that he’s making fun of me elsewhere. I feel so shit because this is someone I’ve spent hours over months talking to, daydreaming about, and I think I scared him off. I wish I never showed my face but I can’t take that action back.

No. 394149

>>393608
Just build up the friendship and get closer to him. Once you think he's ready, tell him.

No. 394169

>>393648
>We used to have a running joke before the facedox where I would tell him that and he would say “without me?”
>He went from excited to find out what his friend looked like and now he hasn’t responded to my dms.
You didn’t match his discord kitten waifu fantasy and realized you’re just a regular woman. He doesn’t value you like a real friend he just wanted to maintain his elusive vision of you.

No. 394178

>>393648
That does not sound like he was your friend. It sounds like he was flirting with you the whole time, very clearly making it not a platonic friendship thing. Sending you a picture of his body is gross for a friend to do (I would have cut him off for doing that while pretending we're friends). You both exchanging body pictures and all the flirting was basically e-dating/discord-dating (as fake as that is) and not friendship activity.
You didn't really do anything wrong by wanting to flirt with him or doing a zoom meeting. It's his problem if he's gonna be weird about it. He was not being your friend though, just to be clear. I'm sorry if he hurts your feelings by ghosting you or generally acting like an asshole about this later; he will likely do one or both.
I hope you didn't send him nudes.

No. 394232


No. 394812

>>394169
>>394178
He finally responded to my dms today. He said he was gone because he was feeling depressed for the past few days and slept through them. I don’t know if I can believe that, but he has used that excuse in the past. I asked him if his break had to do anything with our face doxx and he slightly implied it was. I was worried that he might have shared my face elsewhere, but now I’m worried that he’s depressed because of me. I don't know if he’s acting this way to get more pity of me so I can soothe some insecurities of his.or give him attention. I’ll admit, sometime I use him for those reasons as well. I can’t help but feel depressed. I think I did something wrong and I have no idea what I did. I’m in too deep for him. I love him and I don’t want him to be sad, but sometimes he gets into these moods. I feel paranoid that my face has ruined our relationship, as if we would ever meet up in real life anyway. Is there anyway to recover from these feelings?

No. 394816

>>394812
Stop being friends with somebody so shallow

No. 394817

>>394178
Thank you for your concern btw, I never sent him nudes.

No. 394818

>>394816
I don’t think he was shallow, he didn’t call me ugly or anything in that nature.

No. 394822

>>394812
You didn’t do anything wrong. I just want to reiterate that. I read the whole story and there wasn’t a mistake or a bad thing you did in there. I guess I could say getting involved with someone faceless online was a bad idea on your part but that’s kinda beside the point now since it already happened.
FYI there’s an online relationship thread that might be better for this since you are in love with him and this isn’t really a friendship thing anymore >>>/g/271193

No. 394907

>>394818
He might as well have. You stopped existing to this guy the moment he saw you and you don't think he's shallow? Stop with the delusions ffs. No one here is going to advise that you kept begging him for more

No. 394994

>>394812
Nona you're overthinking it way too much. And it seriously makes me sad you're worried your face "ruined" something… (and actually, what? you're just talking online). Like you feel sorry for the way you look and not matching his expectations. Who the fuck is he? Just some guy. He's not better than you, not more important than you. You just talk online and you already describe this relationship like you're codependent. You're not responsible for his moods, you don't have to figure out the reasons and make him feel better. You don't need to be his ideal, you don't have to attract him. And sorry nona, but it's not love, it's more like limerence. I'd recommend you looking into it, and some self-help books/videos/etc for improving your self-esteem. I'm sorry if I come off condescending or something, didn't mean to, it just reminded me of something personal and I really felt bad for you. I hope you overcome these feelings.

No. 395160

i love my bros personally (no hetero though), theyre real ones

No. 396005

Has anyone else ever been friends with a male that has done something horrible? It feels like apart of being friends with men just feel like they do something very horrible to someone and they just live with it like it's supposed to be normal. I discovered my childhood friend had raped his girlfriend, and she privately disclosed this to me a few days ago and I am just now absorbing it and deciding to cut ties with him alongside with supporting her through this.

Anyone else had anything similar?

No. 396016

>>395160
Second this. I feel lucky (had some freaks I had to cut out, but the bros I have now are just normal people).

No. 396028

>>396005
Yes. In high school I was in a friend group (mostly girls) that overlapped with a group of guys that were very close together. We would all hang out and some of my girlfriends went out with these guys. As my friends were getting into relationships with them, we would see each other more frequently and I really liked them overall and even thought their brotherhood was wholesome. Then one of those couple broke up and suddenly my friend stopped hanging with us and acted strangely. I later learned that she was raped by that guy, repeatedly slapped and hit by him, got pregnant and had an abortion while he made fun of her and downplayed this traumatic experience. Meanwhile, he was painting himself as the biggest victim and demonizing her, while his bros distanced themselves from her and badmouthed her constantly even though some of them were extremely close to her : none of them asked her version. When we disclosed to them what really happened, not one of them believed it, and they all turned a blind eye when we showed them evidence (like texts where he apologized and admitted everything). They knew he was lying, that he was a violent rapist, but all made excuse for him and never apologized to that girl for ostracizing her, because 'bros before hoes' and the brotherhood always comes first.

It has been years and I have learned recently that atleast four other girls experienced violence from him, before and after this situation. This male friend group still holds up today and even though it's an open secret, they just ignore this information : it's not like he's gonna rape them, right? A lot of moids simply lack empathy and don't care about what doesn't hurt them, even if they hurt someone themselves. I'm sorry that I just rambled and don't have any advice, just a shared experience that I also heard around me and seems common, unfortunately. You did the right thing and I'm glad you can be supportive of this girl. Do you plan on saying anything to him before cutting ties?

No. 396039

>Think you have a great guy freind.
>He doesn't want to fuck your pussy
>Great
>Actually he wants to fuck your friends pussy
>basically just spoke to you so he could fuck her pussy.
>When you decline setting them up he never speaks to you again.

All men are the same

No. 396043

> primary school
> male friend
> interested in what I’m interested in
> gets offended when I spend time with my girl friends
> get annoyed with him so start being mean
> he likes it
> finally shove him out of his seat
> never sits by me again
> high school
> male friend
> stops being my friend when I get my first boyfriend
> break up with boyfriend
> male friend returns with inappropriate questions and come ons
> spread vile rumors about him so he’ll leave me to my peace
> never sits by me again
> university
> male friend
> hype him up for his presentation cause relate to public speaking fears
> he has a girlfriend, phew
> he gets into fights with her a lot
> breaks his phone in a testerical rage
> ghost him to his face, literally look through him when he tries speaking to me
> never sits by me again
What is wrong with scrotes thinking I have to put up with their bad behavior or demands on my time, I suspect it starts in the cradle. I have vivid memories of kindergarten and boys taking the toy trucks right from my hands in the sand box and me throwing sand in their stupid faces for it. Then getting in trouble for not playing nice like I have to let them play with the “boy toys” because penis entitlement.

No. 396169

>>396005
I knew a guy who told me all about how much he cheated on his gfs. we don't talk anymore
>>396043
this has been my experience with most moid friends too. they'll act retarded and actively do things to bother you, but also simultaneously feel entitled to your time and never be self aware of what they're doing wrong or why you're bothered, they just assume you're a bitch or doing it for no reason and never look inwards, and they enjoy violating your boundaries over and over until you finally snap and they're forced to stop.

also, almost all my "friends" are male and it sucks ass. i wish i could meet like minded women to be friends with but i tend to have more in common with males in terms of my interests, problem is they always either want to fuck me like people described in this thread, ghost me for no reason which discourages me from even wanting to talk to them at all (then they come back and wonder why i'm not talking, unironically), don't have emotional intelligence but somehow tell me i'm not nice enough and "too full of myself" for just having basic self respect, say shit that grosses me out constantly and act like having a porn addiction is normal, it feels horrible to be exposed to all their retarded locker room talk of objectifying women too.

i just end up feeling this pent up resentment, loneliness and isolating from my friend groups over time after being invited to join because they're full of that but at the same time i don't have anyone else except for my bf and female friends i'm not that close to either and who are usually happy normies. i'm always anxious about meeting new people or making the first move too since i'm a socially anxious autist, which doesn't help. i've thought of making friends and reaching out but it feels scary so instead i end up with just these moids reaching out to me instead. i hate that i don't fit in with them but i also don't fit in with any of the women i know. i wish i was just normal and had a close group of female friends or at least not retarded males (impossible it seems like)

No. 396276

>>396028
No, I don't plan to. He distanced himself away from me when I was clearly in a crisis and went to rehab as a result, and now I'm 3 months sober and I made multiple attempts to reach out to him prior to what I knew. I won't explain or elaborate what happened to his face for her own safety. She just wants to quietly begin the healing process and I respect that. I want to support the other women in my life as much as possible.

No. 396487

>>396276
I totally understand. Congratulations on being sober, it seems like you're in a cleaning up stage of your life in multiple ways and I hope you can come out of all of this stronger. Your last sentence reminded me of something: time spent with moids is time wasted that could've gone towards meeting, supporting and enjoying the company of other women. Putting efforts into a friendship with a moid is oftentimes naive and wasteful. Most moids aren't able to have meaningful emotional and supportive connection with women, at best they could be an entertaining or fun person to be around with, but as time goes by this isn't the kind of relationship that's worth putting time and energy towards.

No. 396619

I could never have male friends because I feel like if I got blackout drunk or something they would try to sexually assault me. I know there are some good guys out there who probably wouldn’t, but it seems to much effort to find them and male friendship isn’t really worth it anyway

No. 396834

The last male friend I had was around 13 and it ended when he confessed he loved me over facebook and in that moment I knew I could never be friends with boys/men as someone who was starting to fill out/be more girlish.

Now I don't even entertain being friendly to men.

No. 396845

the worst part of being considered "one of the guys" is hearing their retarded coomshit banter and them assuming it doesn't affect your view of them at all. its disgusting

No. 396868

>>396845
>them assuming it doesn't affect your view of them at all
They know

No. 396888

how do you even get to the friend stage? lol

lately when I meet a guy who seems chill, after a while they try to make a move. this is in the first conversation, not even flirty or borderline. just a platonic ass conversation about hobbies and life. it's frustrating, bc I rarely meet people I can just talk to and not feel awkward (guys and girls), so I do get real chatty and stuff.

it's like damn, I want to ask you about the book you read cause it sounds interesting, but I literally can never reach out to you bc I know you will take it like I'm interested in more.

I mean, I guess it's better than him hiding the feelings until you actually have a friendship and are emotionally invested. but there's some interesting guys out there and I don't wanna fuck them!!

No. 396895

>>396888
becoming a platonic friend of a guy is what happens if you cute enough to be their gf but they already have a partner

No. 396901

>>396895
hmm ok, so my problem is these guys are single (or cheaters). can women ever be platonic friends with a single guy?

No. 397754

File: 1715655338544.png (161.67 KB, 486x323, image_2024-05-13_195255012.png)

>be best friends with a guy in elementary school
>he comes out as gay
>be best friends with a different dude in highschool
>he comes out as gay

i think i'm incapable of talking to straight men

No. 397788

>>396901
no. unless he thinks you're too ugly to want to fuck. then he'll just use you for emotional needs he can't get since he doesn't have a gf and men don't support other men.
oh, or if he's gay, i've had some great gay male friends that weren't misogynists

No. 397814

The perks of being undesirable is that at least moids don't want to have to do anything romantically with you, friends turning our to have a crush never happened to me.

No. 397830

>>397814
Yeah this applies to me but moids are still not good friends. One "friend" I got never tried anything sexual with me, always acted nice and I would feel safe hanging out. But once I told him I got sexually harrassed by this disgusting old scrote from our university (he tried to grope me and started masturbating right next to me.) Later we run into this degenerate and he happily goes to chat with him. Completely zero empathy and loyalty to me.

No. 397848

>>397754
More like straight males are incapable of talking to women

No. 398517

File: 1715882227107.jpeg (49.38 KB, 519x550, IMG_0315.jpeg)

>be me
>have new guy friend since march
>one day I send a picture of my dinner
>”awh anon, could you pls make it for me one time? It Looks delicious”
>me, excited, I love to cook
>”of course bro”
>schedule to hang out soon
>be today
>hang out all afternoon, go food shopping so I can make us dinner
>come to his place
>his roommate is gaming, in call with another friend
>my friend jumps straight on the computer to join them
>I’m left standing in the kitchen alone
>wtf.jpg
>look into his room
>he doesn’t look at me, eyes locked on screen, talking to friends
>”I have a chef over for dinner!”
>I am stunned
>I make the food (it was delicious)
>eat by myself in the kitchen
>”anon, why won’t you come eat in here with me?” While mid game on computer

Wtf is this. I almost walked out and left them both but I couldn’t make myself cause I’m a wuss. Are they all like this?? Now I’m just sat in his bed while he’s still gaming. I thought he wanted to hang out.
If I go to leave he’s gonna be all weird about it cause we planned to hangout all evening

No. 398527

>>398517
wtf nonna, you should've walked out what the fuck are you still doing there???? fuck this selfish prick wtf

No. 398528

>>398517
leave nonnie!! or atleast spit on the food kek

No. 398531

>>398528
I really should have..
He did say thank you and that it was nice how we could hang out and do different things
Yuck

No. 398537

>>398531
>He did say thank you and that it was nice how we could hang out and do different things
Typical moid behaviour, he takes advantage of your kindness then sits on his ass playing video games the entire time and ignores you. What a dick, sorry nona

No. 398546

>>398537
Thank you
Hopefully I’ll grow a spine and find better friends soon

No. 398569

>>398527
>I have a chef over for dinner
Wow he implied you were hired help, that is very rude. I would have snuck out.

No. 398967

>>398517
Lol why are you so pathetic? grow a spine



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