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No. 391488
Be very skeptical of anyone using shame, guilt or trying to appeal to your emotions and kindness to get you to do anything. Especially the first two. Always, always look at what's in it for
you first. Even if it's family. Oh you're a bad girlfriend/daughter/bringing shame on the family for not sacrificing yourself for everyone else's benefit? Okay, be selfish then. So what? This goes doubly if it's something they would never expect a son to do. Think real hard why it's never sons caring for parents in their old age.
Second but no less important is that you deserve better than someone else's sloppy seconds. This means taken men, single dads, older men who have slept around and try to entice younger girls by promising them the moon. You
will get hurt and used and have to pay for therapy for years while they just walk away and get to do it to someone else. Being someone's dirty secret leaves you in a perfect position to be abused. You deserve someone who treats you like you're precious and genuinely cares for you, or better yet you can be that for yourself by making your own money, making good friends and creating your dream life.
Basically what
>>391293 said.
No. 391502
Be as forgiving to other women as possible and be as critical of men as possible. Have strong female friendships, stand up for women you don't even know if men criticize them, display sympathy, empathy, and compassion for the women around you. All women are traumatized and hurt in one way or another, give them chances the way no other woman or man would. Be loud, confrontative, open, honest. Stop playing into the socialization game and feminine rituals. Stop shaving every inch of your body, stop wearing makeup, stop wasting time and money and effort on shit men would never even think once about. Prioritize health and muscle. Take a self defense class. Respect yourself. Love yourself. Stay vigilant.
No. 391518
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Body neutrality, develop mental hobbies, READ, nurture female friendships, male validation has literal no worth and be aware of the profic incentive there is to keep you insecure.
No. 391543
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>>391518cool pic
..um.. why is everything bout looks? buy guns ladies–I should have done that a decade ago tbh.
not implying u should kill anyone k? No. 391917
>>391299Why did she pick the mood to begin with?
Was it arranged?
No. 392228
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I would like to let thread nonnies know how much I love checking on new posts here. Your advice is precious and I love your perspective. I've been putting many of these posts in my advice collection journal to remember and repeat on good and not-so-good days.
No. 392885
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The dream life you have in your head, are you doing things to get there?
Even if it doesn’t seem realistic to try sometimes, it is.
Even if you’ve failed before, you’re smarter now.
You imagining that yourself could be happy living a life that you really want… it’s not a thought, thats a vision into what you deserve.
And you fucking deserve it
No. 392983
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Practicing positive self talk has made such a difference in my life. If any of you are like me, having a very negative and critical self voice in your head, where putting yourself down has become an automatic reflex….Please try it. Encourage and cheer yourself on to do things, be proud of yourself when you do them. Soothe yourself when you're upset like a caretaker would. Interrupt a negative thought and refute it with a positive one. It might feel strange at first, but you could try creating a persona in your head to be that positive voice. Or imagine your favorite character saying it to you.
It sounds silly but when I'm overstimulated and panicking, or so depressed I'm unable to move…I close my eyes and imagine myself taking care of a cute little kitty-type creature. The kitty represents my emotional state, maybe she's crying out or shaking in fear. I imagine myself petting her or coaxing her to drink some water/eat, and then I mirror those actions in real life.
No. 393017
>>392983>Practicing positive self talk has made such a difference in my life.Me too! Fake it until you make it, one day you end up meaning the words for real.
>>392988>I want to try this but I would feel like pixielocks if I did…kek just don't pretend it's a real other person living in your head. Imagine there's a person/character next to you encouraging you instead.
And in the same spirit: if you keep saying, thinking, writing "I'm crazy", "I'm a lost cause", "I suck", you are actively harming yourself and causing yourself to act worse. You really do become what you tell yourself you are. Being positive literally makes cancer treatment more effective, and being negative makes it less effective and more likely the patient dies.
No. 393034
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>>392983I second this! Resetting my default way of thinking from extremely negative self talk to kindness and appreciation for myself has changed everything for me. No matter what happens in my life now I don't ever question my character or my self worth anymore.
It's so uncomfortable to make the change in the way you speak to yourself, I found it embarrassing to like myself, like it was just vanity and that was wrong. but after a little while it became natural and I can't believe I was ever so cruel to myself. we get to be in this body once and no matter what we do we cannot change that so we may as well love and cherish ourselves. why would we not?