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No. 211746

Discussion/support thread for farmers making the choice to abstain from sex
>how long have you been abstinent for?
>what has your motivation been for abstaining? Religion? Trauma? Waiting for your husbando to come to life?
>are you working by a timeframe or are you indefinite?
>are you only abstaining from certain practices or are you fully nunning out?
>what’s been your closest call to breaking your streak so far?
>whats something you’ve learned about yourself since practicing abstinence?
>do you think your abstinence is achieving what you wanted it to do

No. 211748

File: 1635757082224.jpeg (53.72 KB, 614x410, 987F29A2-47E1-4208-9F0F-20B55D…)

Guess I’ll go first

I haven’t had sex since July but didn’t make the choice to abstain until I broke it off with my fwb a few weeks later over text. When I make it to six months I’m gonna buy myself an anniversary gift kek.
>what has your motivation been for abstaining?
Basically I was sick of putting myself in a mentally emotionally and physically vulnerable space for men who just saw me as a place to put their dicks. I was tired of the mind games they like to play too. I’m gen z and got drip fed the Koolaid about how being a slut and sleeping around is soooo empowering my whole adolescence, but none of that compares in feeling to making a choice for myself to stop letting men treat me like an option and a plaything.
>are you working by a timeframe or are you indefinite?
I’m stuck in a small town with poor options for the next year, which has made this whole thing easier. After that, hopefully I’ll have a healthy enough sense of self that even while dating, I can feel comfortable with being single and abstinent by default.
>are you only abstaining from certain practices or are you fully nunning out?
Kissing and touching are still okay but nothing past second base.
Before this I learned the hard way that sex won’t make a guy love you or even like you or treat you well. But one thing I’ve discovered is that the opposite is also true. I can have a guy’s attention and interest even when sex isn’t on the table, and I’ve learned that I’m capable of being more than a thing for men to look at. A lot of the energy I used to spend on guys I’ve redirected into myself, and now I’m going to the gym more often, eating better, and taking better care of my hair and skin. Once you remove male attention from its place as the thing in your mind you need the most, everything changes.
>do you think your abstinence is achieving what you wanted it to?
100%

No. 211752

>>211746
>how long have you been abstinent for?
I'd say 4-5 years, although I did have one night of action
>what has your motivation been for abstaining? Religion? Trauma? Waiting for your husbando to come to life?
After dating around for like a year, after one encounter it's like a lightning struck me, I was so anxious at the idea that this man might make me pregnant, and I don't even like him that much. I did take every precaution, to be clear, but this sudden realization still changed all my attitude towards sex at like age 23 (maybe my brain just finally stopped developing kek). There's nothing uplifting in casual sex, I haven't met any men that I'd want to live my life with and I think I'll only have sex with another person if I do actually start falling for him.
My husbandos certainly do help out in my fantasies.
>are you working by a timeframe or are you indefinite?
Finding someone long-term, but I'm not really working hard on it, so it might as well be called indefinite.
>are you only abstaining from certain practices or are you fully nunning out?
I haven't even been on a proper date in years. The most I'll do is lightly flirt or have sexually charged conversations over the internet for a while, but it usually doesn't lead to anything because I have zero self-confidence.
>what’s been your closest call to breaking your streak so far?
I did break my streak by sleeping with my very first boyfriend when he hit me up after 5 years as he returned home. He wanted to get back together, I wanted closure. Neither of us got what we wanted and it was just awkward all around. 0/10, wasn't worth it, and it only made my anxiety about pregnancy come back.
>whats something you’ve learned about yourself since practicing abstinence?
That I have a lot of pent-up horniness. When I did have sex in my young adulthood, it felt like a service or a performance, now I'm absolutely against anything submissive on my part and would only tolerate a gentle man, every attempt at machismo gets men blocked or deleted.
>do you think your abstinence is achieving what you wanted it to do
It means zero anxiety about unwanted pregnancy and none of the stress that comes with relationships or anticipations of being rejected, which is a positive. But I wouldn't say I'm not missing out on life, but staying in your bubble always means you exchange comfort and safety for opportunities and potential.

No. 211754

>what has your motivation been for abstaining?
Pick any card! Being an attractive woman living in abject no-electricty poverty took away any chance I had to believe the farcical illusions promised to those who put themselves through pain and discomfort for no reason, all to benefit the greater greed of male-dominated society. Feck that!

No. 211758

>how long have you been abstinent for?
I had sex once about 6 years ago and it was maybe 4 before that
>what has your motivation been for abstaining? Religion? Trauma?
Waiting for your husbando to come to life?
Nothing deep or serious, it just makes me feel better, less stressed. I decided I'm not going to have sex until I really, seriously want to and feel comfortable with it but that hasn't happened yet. Also I want to lose weight first, I don't want anyone seeing me naked.
>are you working by a timeframe or are you indefinite?
Indefinite but I might try get back in the game next year, providing I've lost the aforementioned weight. That's unlikely though tbh.
>are you only abstaining from certain practices or are you fully nunning out?
Full nun mode, if a guy isn't worth fucking he isn't worth making out with either.
>what’s been your closest call to breaking your streak so far?
Just that one time having sex which sucked and turned me off it even more. He had a small dick and suddenly I was burdened with the realisation that I could keep getting unlucky with disappointing dicks. I don't wanna risk that.
>whats something you’ve learned about yourself since practicing abstinence?
I learned how much of a sad, desperate pickme I was back when I was sexually active and how embarrassing it was. I'll never be that lacking in self awareness again, I've had too much time to cringe at myself.
>do you think your abstinence is achieving what you wanted it to do
My life is super peaceful and drama free, I haven't had my feelings so much as hurt by a man in a decade, I'm 100% free of STDs, UTIs, pH imbalances and pregnancy, so yes.

No. 211864

>>211758
>I'm 100% free of STDs, UTIs, pH imbalances and pregnancy
Mood for life. Even good casual sex was never worth it because I would end up dry and sore for the rest of the day after

No. 212192

is abstinence different from celibacy?

No. 212305

>>212192
There’s no definite answer, but the general rule is that abstinence is a choice a person makes for themselves for a finite amount of time and celibacy is a promise/vow made to a higher being or other person for an indefinite amount of time.

Abstinence can also allow for everything up to penetrative sex, while celibacy usually means no sexual contact whatsoever.

No. 212311

>how long have you been abstinent for?
I haven't had sex and sexual contact for about 2 years now, so since late 2019.

>what has your motivation been for abstaining? Religion? Trauma? Waiting for your husbando to come to life?

I used to sometimes do dirty things with guys at parties. Losing those parties devastated me, I guess. When the pandemic hit I had no motivation knowing my friends stories with hookup apps to crawl through those. I don't want to get STDs from some normie uggo, and I don't want to flirt with normie uggos. I want to obtain a job in my desired industry and move out of this trash state.

>are you working by a timeframe or are you indefinite?

Indefinite until I move out, hopefully next year. I don't want to have sex with anyone in this trashpit. Not unless my celeb crush comes here kek

>are you only abstaining from certain practices or are you fully nunning out?

Does only your right hand count as nunning out or nah?

>what’s been your closest call to breaking your streak so far?

Thought about downloading an app or two, and resisted.

>whats something you’ve learned about yourself since practicing abstinence?

I'm definitely a sad sexually repressed person who needs affection, but not in the way I thought. I can fill the void with other things besides sex, or thoughts and the concept of sex, without the actualized risks of sex.

>do you think your abstinence is achieving what you wanted it to do

Well, my deranged obsessions with people that have stemmed from my loneliness aside, I think I'm doing okay. I think I'm closer to my degree than I would've been if I'd had the hindrance of a garbage local boyfriend. I'll gladly take a stint of celebrity obsession over some whiny irl fwb.

No. 212314

>>212192
How I understand it: abstinence means you don't have sex for a period of time; celibacy means you don't commit to a partner long-term. Abstinence usually means you don't have any type of sex, and when/if you do have sex, that means you ended your period of abstinence. Celibacy means you can sleep around/have flings/whatever, but you don't commit emotionally to a partner, whether legally, or just a relationship. It's basically those type of people that break it off whenever they feel things are getting serious. No, it's not just a man thing, some women do it, too. Also abstinence can include refraining from masturbation, as well. Hope this helps.

No. 212318

>>212314
>Celibacy means you can sleep around/have flings/whatever
Uhhh I think you need to look up what the actual definition is because no.

No. 212319

>>212192
I've always associated abstinence with the intention of waiting until marriage or any other specified period of time. You can be in a relationship and be abstinent, but celibacy is choosing to refrain from sex and romantic relationships altogether for a significant period of time.

No. 212322

Does it count if I've never had sex at all? I've always been the kind of woman that's invisible to men (not that it's a bad thing) and I never had any dating prospects in my teens/early adulthood, which I think completely erased any kind of sexual or even romantic desire. Also I think I've fried my brain for being a husbando fag since childhood, making me unable to find any kind of guy hot no matter how conventionally attractive he is. I also feel like I get more hangups about sex the older I get, last year I had the opportunity to date a guy but the prospect of getting intimate with him gave me anxiety so I called it quits.

No. 212327

>how long have you been abstinent for?
4 years
>what has your motivation been for abstaining? Religion? Trauma? Waiting for your husbando to come to life?
I was never really interested in irl men and didn't bother looking nice, so they mostly left me alone. I did get a bf for a while just to see what sex with like but it felt disappointing and stressful. And I'd rather not waste my time and risk my health trying to find a man that isn't porn sick/selfish/insane.
>are you working by a timeframe or are you indefinite?
Indefinite, unless android husbands get invented.
>are you only abstaining from certain practices or are you fully nunning out?
Nun
>what’s been your closest call to breaking your streak so far?
None, unless you count masturbation.
>whats something you’ve learned about yourself since practicing abstinence?
2d>>>>3d I should've just listened to my younger self and not gotten the baggage from losing my virginity to a pornsick scrote.
>do you think your abstinence is achieving what you wanted it to do
Yes it keeps life less stressful and I don't have to waste my time and $ into looking pretty. No dealing with mantrums & male moods, nor harming my health with bc/risking STDs. Can't wait to get a nicer sex toy and focus on pleasing myself for once.

No. 212331

I'm in my mid 20s and never had sex before. I'm not an uggo, femcel or have some trauma. Yet, I just don't want to deal with scrotes, it's all too tiresome. I'm happy being single and have a low sex drive, so men for me are almost invisible. It's a good life.

No. 212342

>>212322
If you’re actively choosing yourself to not have sex that counts as abstinence, but I think what you’re describing is leaning into volcel territory. Not a bad thing in of itself, just different words for different circumstances.

No. 212344

I think my choice to abstain from sex and sexual relationships is trauma based but I don't know how to fix it at this point. Being touched by men in real life makes me feel sick. Instead of sex I just go online and ERP, yeah it's cringe but whatever, I get to cum and practice my writing skills and fuck my imaginary husbandos and waifus.

No. 212377

>>212344
Me too nonna. I was molested as a kid and ever since the idea of sex makes my skin crawl

No. 212407

>>212318
Will look it up, thanks. Sorry for spreading misinformation!

No. 212459

File: 1636241794849.jpeg (107.82 KB, 828x428, 7224AE6C-B559-4196-A96A-43955C…)

Is it terrible that this tweet not only convinced me to practice abstinence but that it’s ringing true? I feel so much better about myself since I stopped caring about having sex with scrotes to the point now that my actual desire to have sex has dwindled massively? I guess it’s maybe because I’m not analysing their behaviour for crumbs of interest or have realised that penis and male attention has had a net neutral (if not net negative) impact on my life, but I really just don’t want/need to have sex with anyone anymore. Idk maybe it’s my habit of preemptive rejection taking a new form, but for now it feels great.

No. 212503

>>212459
No you just got a revelation, nothing wrong with it being triggered by a random tweet lol.

No. 212566

almost 3 years for me! got cancer at the start of 2019 and sex drive just went away. i finished treatment this past summer but mostly i'm just tired or hungry and have felt zero attraction to anyone. it's kind of trippy but fun? i learned javascript and spanish with my free time!

No. 213315

File: 1636950419183.jpeg (18.8 KB, 253x160, AC9670CC-9661-4623-9A7F-F3DA2C…)

I’ve been abstinent for nearly 7 months and last night as I was falling asleep I had a super vivid dream about my ex boyfriend who was the last guy I had sex with. He was so beautiful and such a good lover but I broke it off because I knew we would never make it work long term. I had flashbacks to driving late night around the city with him and lying in bed with him, and I could almost feel him pressing up against my back and running his hands down my back and through my hair like he used to. When I opened my eyes and realised I was alone I wanted to cry. I never thought I’d miss physical contact this much, especially not from him. How do I keep myself from reverting to my whorish ways and see my abstinence out at least until the new year? If I can make it till then I’ll know I can do another year.

No. 213318

I have been abstinent for 24 years which is my whole life because I have issues with myself and with intimacy and also due to a guy trying to pressure me into oral sex when I was very young. I tried dating and also met a guy that I liked two years ago but I got cold feet and was so afraid of having piv sex that I broke it off. Also when I was a child I believed that you could only become a vampire when you were a virgin. I guess I have still hope for that.

No. 213324

I have a mental block that just stops all attraction whenever a guy shows interest in me. One of the first things that pops into my mind is how other people would see me if I had sex with a guy. I don't want to end up hurting someone for whatever reason just because I wanted to have sex. The women in my family have lowered themselves so much for dick and I don't want to be like that.

No. 213333

5 years next year. I can't see myself in a relationship at all anymore and I can live without dick or pussy. I noticed I only miss the small things about a relationship but it's not worth looking for one because I just can't take the stress of it.

No. 213341

File: 1636981160163.png (226.11 KB, 540x353, bunny with a gun.png)

>how long have you been abstinent for?
Ever since I broke up with my ex, so ~2,5 years.

>what has your motivation been for abstaining? Religion? Trauma? Waiting for your husbando to come to life?

I've tried to date but I really don't have the energy to use apps for example and just haven't got any luck IRL either. It's shit out there romance-wise. And I don't do hookups so there's that.

>are you working by a timeframe or are you indefinite?

Indefinite. I don't have any dating apps currently in use, I don't talk with any men or anything at all.

>are you only abstaining from certain practices or are you fully nunning out?

Does masturbation count?

>what’s been your closest call to breaking your streak so far?

See above.

>whats something you’ve learned about yourself since practicing abstinence?

My standards are very high nowadays, kek. Also a bit of femcel-y thoughts.

>do you think your abstinence is achieving what you wanted it to do

Uhh, maybe? I'm still a bit salty I don't have anyone to have sex and romance with, but still being single is kinda comfy in the end.

No. 213352

A little over 3 years here.

My last time was with a guy who I found out was cheating on me. I've never been a fan of PIV but I made myself act like I did. Our sexual relationship was very one sided with me pleasing him in every way he wanted and me still being cheated on. He was a looks downgrade and older than me and he still cheated with someone who.. and I'm not saying this to be mean, wasn't anything worth straying for. It was such an insulting situation in so many ways that I'm done trying to pretend PIV is for me. Ever wish that you could take back sex that you had with someone? I do lol.

If I meet someone in future I'm going to have to lay that out and accept that for alot of men that's a big deal. I don't care though.. I gave a man my all and he cheated no matter how much sex (including kinky shit) he got at home.

In earlier relationships it came up too. My first relationship was short lived because I didn't want full sex straight away and he didn't want to give oral but he certainly expected oral and put pressure on.. we basically did nothing and broke up quickly. Next guy accepted it and we lasted 4 years just doing other sexual stuff. If I find another guy like that I'll be happy doing pretty much everything but PIV. Part of it for me is pregnancy anxiety, me not fully trusting BC, and just not enjoying it enough to take the risks it comes with. I like hands, mouths and toys and I hate being pressured. I'm too old to give in. I swear when I was 19/20 I was actually better at standing my ground on that and at some point I lost that and I feel damaged by the results.

No. 213407

>>212566
you are amazing and im so proud of u

No. 213434

>how long have you been abstinent for?
4 months-ish
>what has your motivation been for abstaining? Religion? Trauma? Waiting for your husbando to come to life?
Intense fear of pregnancy after actually having casual sex for the first time
>are you working by a timeframe or are you indefinite?
My plan is indefinite, just no penetrative sex ever again for my whole life, it just doesn't seem worth the risk
>are you only abstaining from certain practices or are you fully nunning out?
Only stopping actual piv sex
>what’s been your closest call to breaking your streak so far?
I was thinking that I might be comfortable with it hypothetically in the context of a long term relationship, but i think i still wouldn't. Maybe if it was incredibly important to them i'd consider it.
>whats something you’ve learned about yourself since practicing abstinence?
I'm horny all the time
>do you think your abstinence is achieving what you wanted it to do
I am certainly not pregnant

No. 213469

29 years aka never had any sex ever and i don't plan to. piv sex only comes with problems (STDs, pregnancy, UTIs, soreness, etc) and lesbian sex is impossible because lesbians don't exist anymore, only transbians and spicy straights. it depresses me sometimes because i feel like everyone has sex and it's so natural for them and i just never engaged in this natural experience. it's as if everyone sleeps at night and i just don't sleep. imagining myself having sex with someone disgusts me because i hate my body and i hate feeling vulnerable.

No. 213533

>>213469
wow, are you me? lmao

No. 213587

File: 1637164877020.jpg (90.89 KB, 522x991, chastity.jpg)

>>211746
>how long have you been abstinent for?
birth, i dont even masturbate.

>what has your motivation been for abstaining? Religion? Trauma? Waiting for your husbando to come to life?

the state of the world right now. everything is pornographic and perverted im sick of it. everyone is a sexual deviant it makes me want to become something even more sexless than a monk. just hearing about people being sexual ironically or not makes me feel physically ill.
that said, i also used to be a porn addict as a child so i guess i drained all my need for anything erotic in nature. even though really i was only watching ridiculous or outrageous porn for comedic purposes like cartoons or comically extreme things any that you would imagine. so it was mostly entertainment thought that phase of my life lasted from age 6 to 15
s*x doesnt even cross my mind anymore and when it does it is completely intrusive and i hate it, and for years ive been saying that i didnt actually want to [do it] even during my porn addiction because the thought of losing my hymen makes me want to kill myself. besides, i like this lifestyle; pure and chaste free from disease and sin.
ive tried masturbating once or twice in my teenagehood but it made me feel disgusted AND disgusting before during and after and ive never finished anyway so it was all in vain and i truly regret it.

>are you working by a timeframe or are you indefinite?

indefinite. i just cant imagine willingly putting myself in that situation.

>are you only abstaining from certain practices or are you fully nunning out?

fully nunning out. monking out ? can females be monks ? ive been joking about becoming one for a few years but now this is becoming serious it seems…

>what’s been your closest call to breaking your streak so far?

nothing at all, i dont even think i have felt an emotion sexual in nature after the age of 14 but i dont even know if that was real or if i was just trying to relate to my friend who was very much hormonal at that age.

>whats something you’ve learned about yourself since practicing abstinence?

um nothing really. but i have learned that most people are generally perverts which is truly sick and i wish i could just live like a troglodyte forever so i wont have to see any of that ever again.

>do you think your abstinence is achieving what you wanted it to do

umm IDK. i guess i never really thought about the benefits really but i guess i am not diseased and still pure so yes i suppose it has.

No. 213682

>>213407
i think the doctors are who is amazing! no need to be pround of all the cancer people who get super robot powers after our ovaries and shit get zapped with radiation kek. we have modern medical science to thank for that!

No. 213683

>>213682
samefag: ayrt, i was the OG cancerposter

No. 213723

>>213587
extremely based schizonun-chan

No. 213834

>>213587
>age 6
oh my god this internet shit needs to end

No. 213894

>>213469
Late but reading things like that makes me feel better about myself, before coming here I thought I was some kind of last virgin on earth with zero interest in mutual sex, seeing that some other nonnas are like me is reassuring.

No. 213911

>>213834
ayrt, yeah i dont doubt even more children that age ( maybe evn younger ? ) are being exposed to this sick shit. i hope every porn creator dies and their work with them, expunged never to be seen again.

No. 213930

>>213533
>>213894
ayrt, i'm starting to think there are more of us than we think. i wouldn't call myself asexual or aromantic because it's cringe and not real (and i like romance shit plus i masturbate kek) but somehow living vicariously through fictional characters' love lives is enough for me. also the freedom of not having to pay attention to anyone's needs is great. i'm a very independent person and i like doing stuff alone and being alone, while also hanging out with friends regularly. but i wanna be left alone at home and not have another person in my fucking apartment. i guess it's less no sex and more like no relationship. i'm scared of dying alone (as in, nobody will inherit my stuff or visit me at the hospital or something) and i can just see myself as the old lady neighbor who gets found a week later because there's rank smell coming from my apartment, but aside from that the freedom is everything.

No. 225856

>how long have you been abstinent for?
Since my last relationship, 2 years
>what has your motivation been for abstaining?
I just can't find men who are into the same things that me without making me feel like an object, since I used to believe I was into BDSM but men ruined it for me with their porn obsessed ideas
>are you working by a timeframe or are you indefinite?
I don't know, I would really just prefer not having sex again for a long time
>are you only abstaining from certain practices or are you fully nunning out?
I may have sex if I fall in love with a woman, honestly (and just discard men completely)
>what’s been your closest call to breaking your streak so far?
Doing it with my best friend who swears he is in love with me, just because we are really close and I felt a little guilty
>whats something you’ve learned about yourself since practicing abstinence?
Masturbation is better than sex. With men, at least.
>do you think your abstinence is achieving what you wanted it to do
It's making me happier and less stressed! Yes, also making me realize I like women a lot more than I thought

No. 225857

Has anyone felt that masturbation is just better than sex? Idk how to explain it, there's just so much more intimacy, only you know your own real fantasies, you know your body better than anyone else, and it causes you zero stress

No. 225873

>>225857
Yes I fiercely relate to this. You can do whatever you want without feeling the burden of a relationship. Well I like the relationship part, just not being dragged around for someone else's needs who will always be more demanding then mine. Why is it always like this?

No. 225883

>>225857
I wish it was like this for me. If I could feel pleasure in private I would be a volcel for life, but I've never had a consensual experience so I don't know what sex with other people is like either. I just can't date because I only attract creeps and I feel like I'm too old and unexperienced for someone my age to want

No. 225984

I want nothing

No. 226066

>>225857
I've never had sex so I can't compare but I get off so easily by myself I don't think I'll ever need to be with somebody else. I don't crave intimacy and the thought of making myself vulnerable disgusts me, plus I don't have time to invest in a relationship, and let's not even talk about all the nasty things like pregnancy and STDs.

No. 226071

Anyone has severe vaginismus after sexual abuse? To the point abstinence isn't a choice but imposed on you. No man would stay faithful to a woman who can't give him what he wants so bad anyway.
Should I ever meet a man who's somehow okay with this defect, is conceiving and giving birth even on the table?
Saged for being kinda OT but i'm really depressed over it.

No. 226082

>>226071
Lots of therapy and lubricants, Nonnie. Also slowly start masturbating, if you feel like it. You should also consider that, if you have sexual drive, you’d still want to have sex and you can’t deprive yourself of what you want because you’ve been abused. That’s not fair to you.
I am so sorry that happened to you, though. I hope you get through that awful experience.

No. 226083

>>226082
I don't really have a sex drive as a result of SSRI, unfortunately. I guess if I meet a man who's ''worth'' the effort, I will consider pelvic therapy. Thanks nonnie, you sound really kind and thoughtful

No. 226089


>how long have you been abstinent for?

one year+
>what has your motivation been for abstaining? Religion? Trauma? Waiting for your husbando to come to life?
wasn't entirely a choice,lack of places to get intimate in since we both live at parents in a very religious country.i won't say it's the only reason tho,the more i think of my past actions or things that occured in my life ,the more my libido goes down to oblivion.add to that my fear of getting prego, and my poor boyfriend has to live with it .
>are you only abstaining from certain practices or are you fully nunning out?
i kiss my boyfriend affectionatly but that about it ,i think i masturbated few times around ovulation.
>are you working by a timeframe or are you indefinite?
i hope i'll get over this soon because it sucks and i feel bad for my poor bf.
>whats something you’ve learned about yourself since practicing abstinence?
that i def can live without it but why? it is a fun thing and intimacy is important even for mental health .i also learned that my bf is a very very understanding man ,because tbh if i was him i wouldn't have resisted.
i forget to mention that i used to be a rabbit before,always horny and ready to go.would just jump on him even when the occasion comes. but look at me now!

No. 226092

>>226071
I knew a woman who had 2 kids even though she had vaginismus. I think she got treatment for it and don't know if hers were severe though. She and her husband did have a falling out, his side of family forced him to sleep with other women and when he didn't, forced him to divorce her. They're back together now though.

No. 226110

>>226071
>>226083
can you find a guy who is either low/no libido (they exist, they're just not open right off the bat about it) or is more interested in non-PIV sex?

No. 226132

>>226110
anon, HOW?

No. 226137

>how long have you been abstinent for?
Over 2 years
>what has your motivation been for abstaining? Religion? Trauma? Waiting for your husbando to come to life?
Don't enjoy casual sex but that's the only kind of sex available to me. Decided I wouldn't have sex again unless the person is willing to date me
>are you working by a timeframe or are you indefinite?
Until someone decides they're willing to date me
>are you only abstaining from certain practices or are you fully nunning out?
Abstaining from PIV
>what’s been your closest call to breaking your streak so far?
Some close calls when really drunk
>whats something you’ve learned about yourself since practicing abstinence?
That no sex is better than shit sex.
>do you think your abstinence is achieving what you wanted it to do
I guess. I have more self-esteem now.

No. 226156

>>226132
AYRT i asked if that was a possibility, if i was out dating people i wouldn't be in this thread. i've known some guys who were uncomfortable with doing PIV (but they were into something else instead, not no-sex entirely) so it's not impossible they exist, i'm just wondering if that would be an option. maybe she can find a guy who is also on SSRIs or something since a lot of those guys i knew had issues with using their penis because of that and would rather be interested in other intimacy

No. 226161

>>226132
any vegan convention

No. 226164


No. 226188

>>226161
Vegan guys give me bad vibes, like they have depraved sexual fetishes or something.

No. 226217

>>226188
Me too, but that's because vegan men also tend to call themselves male feminists where I'm from, and depravity and ~male feminists~ go hand in hand.

No. 226757

Every sexual encounter I’ve had with a moid I was heavily coerced into. This includes being molested as a young child at Catholic school by an older student (it was a K-12 school). I don’t know if it’s because of that event, but I have 0 sex drive but I do have a strong desire to have a boyfriend or girlfriend. The times I’ve had penetrative sex have been awful and unpleasant, I suspect I have vaginismus. The only time ive gone to get a pelvic exam the doctor couldn’t even get a good look and she told me I should buy a dilator set and I felt so embarrassed.
I’ve been pretty much celibate for the last 3 years and I’m honestly fine never having sex again. It makes me sad because I want to be in a relationship but who would want to be in one with someone who has as much baggage as I do? I think I’d be okay doing oral stuff but idk I’m also very moid repulsed but all the lesbians in my area are extremely lefty troon worshippers so it’s a huge turnoff.
I feel ashamed that I’ll probably never get married and have children because I would LOVE to be a mother. I hate when my family ask if I’m dating anyone because it’s always a no. I know they think I’m a huge loser or a lesbian (which is obviously fine).

No. 226760

>>226757
I'm so sorry you've only had negative experiences anon. I just want to say that there are good people out there who don't mind waiting for the right time or sharing intimacy outside of penetrative sex. Also if you want to be a mom you don't need a partner for it. There's always adoption, sperm donor, etc. I know that doesn't follow the typical spousal narrative but if raising a child is that important to you you shouldn't let the presence of another person decide whether you get to enjoy it or not. Plenty of kids don't have any family and would be overjoyed to go to a loving home.

No. 226779

I need a connection to have sex and that's not possible because men are emotionally homosexual

No. 226799

I think I’m traumatized, i don’t know what triggered it tbh but one day i woke up at 19, blocked all the moids i had hoped to get validated by and declaired myself as abstinent or at the time “asexual”
I think the concept of sex and marriage and moids was pushed on to me from a very young age, it was like my life goal was to be found attractive by a moid. (Yes very patriarchal shitty incompetent upbringing) and i think all of this is an angry reaction to it. At the moment i don’t plan to change it and i like it the way it is.

No. 226800

>>226799
how long ago was this

No. 226875

>>226799
Good for you anon, I just reached that point myself (abstinent, sadly not asexual) nearly a decade past the age you were. I think it's partly due to trauma and partly due to just being fed up with men's bullshit. Do I miss physical and emotional intimacy with a man I find attractive? Sometimes, of course. But I don't miss the mind games, misogyny and inconveniences even more.

>>226779
You're right and you should say it

No. 226992

>how long have you been abstinent for?
last time was march 2020
>what has your motivation been for abstaining? Religion? Trauma? Waiting for your husbando to come to life?
def trauma. broke up with my abusive ex nov 2019, tried going out with a new guy some time after, but i felt pressured. after my ex, i couldn't stop having these flashbacks of us having sex and the anxiety it all caused me made me feel like he had raped me (even when he obviously had not) but emotionally i felt like it had. had sex with this new guy some time after and i was so incredibly anxious about having flashbacks that i decided not to have it anymore.
>are you working by a timeframe or are you indefinite?
def no timeframe, i have been thinking about my sex life and i am not sure i actually enjoy sex, but i def enjoy foreplay and masturbating. so not sure what's wrong with me lol
>are you only abstaining from certain practices or are you fully nunning out?
masturbating is the only thing i do
>what’s been your closest call to breaking your streak so far?
none, really
>whats something you’ve learned about yourself since practicing abstinence?
that maybe i am not really into sex, or maybe i've had really bad sex my entire life and that is why i don't really get the hype of it lol
>do you think your abstinence is achieving what you wanted it to do
it's def brought me a lot of healing emotionally, i feel a lot better ever since i stopped having it. i guess because i don't have flashbacks (as much) anymore with my ex, but also i have managed to find more pleasure in touching myself

No. 227004

>>226875
>do I miss physical and emotional intimacy with a man I find attractive? Sometimes, of course
Now this is something I don't understand, I have never desired intimacy with another person, at first I thought it was because I've never had sex but I've seen some other virgin anons saying they craved it, so is something wrong with me?

No. 227007

>>227004
I don't crave it but when ppl do accidentally touch me it's very strong and even uncomfortable.

No. 227054

>>227007
Ayrt and I don't like being touched either, which I don't get since I have no physical or sexual trauma, could it be autism?

No. 227079

>>226875
Samefag, yes I feel very much the same, it was trauma but also coming to terms with the fact that moids will never satisfy me emotionally and their company is boring and soulless, every interaction with one made me feel like shit which was what lead me to stop seeking them in the first place. Theyre all so condescending i couldn’t stand it. I do like to clarify that the asexual comment was a jab at my younger self though kek



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