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/shay/ - dolly mattel fan club

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File: 1680306042636.jpg (433.04 KB, 1036x1238, princess_lolcow.jpg)

No. 2[Reply]

NONNY NONNY NONNY NONNY NONNY NONNY
NONNY Welcome to the Dollhaus, nonny! NONNY
NONNY NONNY NONNY NONNY NONNY NONNY

She’s really done it. As Shayna passes Momokun’s lead with 132 threads, she is gunning for the top spot. It should be no time before she surpasses Onision and becomes the Cow with the Most Threads. Our baby bimbo princess has also been robbed of her Favorite Cow award the past year as elections were not held. Thus, we thought a celebration was in order. Welcome to /shay/.

Of course, no one could ever replace Our Queen, but as the farm languishes without her leadership, we decided to put forth a new member of the Royalolcow Family. Shayna has previously said that a whole gossip site is dedicated to her, and why would we ever want to prove her wrong? Now it’s true! We figured that before our princess turns 26, we should have this board running like a well-oiled fuck machine on a balcony. Plus, now she’ll have some light reading to enjoy while she recovers from surgery. You can find all Shayna threads here, plus some new additions. The board will be subject to typical moderation, shayve our typical shayhead retardation. The only thing that could be more legendary is if we could recover her first ever thread…alas, nonny! Don’t go there!

File: 1696457057989.jpeg (16 KB, 172x274, 9EBA7EC8-56FD-483D-BD11-F83B78…)

No. 164799[Reply]

Which pic made you think DAMN SHES UGLY for me it was this one her head looks like a deflated balloon and her expression is so ugly the smirk the double chin
572 posts and 412 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

No. 168474

>>168473
i just really think shes snorting cocaine these days why is it always red around her nose and she has coke bloat

No. 168477

File: 1715717705765.png (1.05 MB, 833x960, ugly-6.png)


No. 168486

File: 1715800605154.jpg (105.76 KB, 761x638, boat.jpg)


No. 168487

>>168486
Why does she always make this soyjack expression

No. 168496

File: 1715936545647.png (457.1 KB, 584x840, ugly-7.png)



File: 1689600837027.png (373.97 KB, 408x612, REIMBURSE!!!!!.png)

No. 163871[Reply]

Containment board for Shayna memes and Shatposting.

This is a thread for collecting and archiving all Shay related media, mostly farmer generated. Please curb your autism and save any discussion of milk for the threads on /snow/, and spoiler any NSFW images.

Infight all your autistic battles here.

First thread: >>>/shay/158765
Second thread: >>>/shay/159974
1125 posts and 345 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

No. 168490

>>168488
I also have a cool olive skintone. I think dark colors do tend to be more suitable for us. Especially in Shayna's case with her dark eyes, dark clothes create more synergy with her overall look. She also looks better as a brunette imo

No. 168491

>>168489
>>168490
i agree that she should NOT wear pastels or white… i think she looks best in black and might look good in navy or a dark turquoise. good to know color analysis isn't the best for olives, i was told i'm a cool summer by the website but i'm not sure how i feel about it. i think the best hair color i've seen on her is when she went for a dark purple/brown shade back in her just starting to chub up days.

No. 168492

>>168491
The purple was her best colour for sure. I think copper red or dark brown would look good on her too. The black wig she had was good too, but a bit harsh.

Blonde is her worst colour. It blends in with her skin, which doesn't work for her because she's high contrast.

No. 168493

>>168492
Samefag, she's definitely cool-toned, so the salmon/peachy pinks she wears should be gone as they're warm-toned.
I definitely think she's some kind of winter in colour season analysis, as she's cool toned and high contrast, although unsure of subseason.
Regardless of season, she should definitely try wearing purple and red, as she's olive skinned and purple and red are the opposites of the yellow/green cast olives have so it should balance her complexion out

No. 168497

>>168493
red actually looks good on her when she's worn it in the past! like a rich crimson color would really suit her. like she should throw out everything in that ham pink color and buy rich purples and reds instead. maybe a navy blue. she would look much better in jewel tones than pastels.


File: 1684409259989.jpg (56.16 KB, 634x777, 23706524-7914239-Little_Britai…)

No. 162408[Reply]

Post public figures that you have come across who look like/remind you of Shayna
158 posts and 108 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

No. 168389

File: 1714149971011.mp4 (598.37 KB, 576x1024, britty_paige-26-04-2024-0001.m…)

Whenever I see a video featuring this squirrel, I think of Shaynus

No. 168430

File: 1714831794503.png (78.34 KB, 240x180, 240px-Vlcsnap-2014-02-23-10h59…)


No. 168432

>>168347
Wow she looks exactly like Shayna. Not just in the features, but right down to the retarded facial expression. She does the same squinty, smug smile with her eyes barely able to open because she's stoned off her gourd.

No. 168480

>>167383
this is making me laugh sooooo fucking hard i love jeff garlin hes so funny on curb shayna does absolutely look like him

No. 168481

File: 1715736138360.jpeg (94.21 KB, 634x732, IMG_2051.jpeg)

Jamie Lynn Spears


File: 1683445903255.png (404.08 KB, 680x631, C480F0C6-020D-409B-8347-8FB521…)

No. 162131[Reply]

Thread for all of the side characters in the Shaynaverse.
467 posts and 188 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

No. 168449

>>168444
my tiktok is cute animals, celebrity gossip and funny videos. what is on his algorithm thats more demeaning than porn?

No. 168469

File: 1715548562224.jpeg (381.89 KB, 1290x1141, IMG_5149.jpeg)

Her coomers crack me up

No. 168470

File: 1715548618009.jpeg (356.55 KB, 1290x806, IMG_5150.jpeg)


No. 168471

File: 1715554975955.jpg (52.51 KB, 500x500, artworks-9Mq2VqsYI3nSr4sn-7Eh9…)

>>168469
I'd bwaid your hair for you, Pwincess. Then, mmm… Well, hah… wet's just say, we'd have some… fun…

No. 168472

File: 1715565950954.jpeg (498.96 KB, 1290x1245, IMG_5151.jpeg)

>>168470


File: 1683626843844.png (855.96 KB, 920x920, mountain troll spotting.png)

No. 162200[Reply]

post and discuss your predictions of what shayna will do next, in the near future, or in the fat (oops i mean far) future.
23 posts and 3 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

No. 168456

>>168453
She wasn't bulimic, she just said she was for sympathy and because the ed community on tumblr was big and had some overlap with ddlg tumblr. She stayed thin because of genetics and being a teenager, not because of an eating disorder. Knowing how fat she is now and how embarrassed of it, she definitely would be blaming her weight gain on ed recovery if she'd actually had one.
Her teeth were also way better back then. Yellow but straight. Vomit damages the teeth because of the acid in it, so she likely wouldn't have had decent teeth if she'd been bulimic.

No. 168459

>>168456
I could see Shay going back to glamorizing bulimia, thinking of it as a quick way to lose weight. Maybe she’d use her rotting teeth as an excuse to grift for some baby bimbo veneers.

No. 168464

giving up her pets. living in a basement apartment and sleeping on a blanket because she throws out all her shit when she moves. getting on a hard drug in a desperate attempt to escape reality and lose some weight. boils return and dont leave. never gets picked.

No. 168467

Shay will never spiral into destitution, crime or hard drugs because she will always have her parents to fall back on and despite her lifestyle she has a support system and is somewhat risk averse. She knows that she can always run back to her folks if she's backed into a corner. Plenty of women have nowhere to go if they leave an abusive situation so they are coerced into crime/hard drugs by abusive scrotes. Abusive scrotes usually target, trap and break down women with no support system. Even when her parents die they will leave her enough that she doesn't end up in a homeless encampment. If it wasn't for her parents her life would be even more fucked up. I don't see her life ever being a lot different to what it is now. She will continue to be a mid end prostitute until it no longer serves her then she will either end up running back to her parents or she will find a job in a weed shop, sex shop or a casino. I can see her and possibly Ellen moving to Vegas without a doubt. I can also see her working in a brothel in the future and it will be one of those mid end ones where there is no sex trafficking and everyone who works there is friendly with each other. I do think that eventually she will fade off of social media. It will be gradual. It's as if shayheads are waiting for some climactic, dramatic downward spiral but I can't see that happening. She will just get more and more boring and eventually there won't be any new threads.

And before Shaytards come at me Shay isn't a low end prostitute. Low end prostitutes are standing on street corners and giving scrotes $15 blow jobs in their cars. Shay would never subject herself to that level of risk and danger. If she does I'll eat my words but I can't see her going there.

No. 168468

>>168308
I can't see shay ever having kids. if she did get pregnant we would never know about it. She would obtain a quiet abortion, she would allude to 'something upsetting happening in her life, please cashapp me' and we would never know what actually happened. I think there would only be drama if she was in a forced birth state and her republican parents refused to help her obtain an abortion elsewhere. She would be trying to raise the money through social media and if she was forced to have a baby it would either end up with her parents or she would go back to them because I can't imagine her wanting to look after a kid by herself or with a male partner. Ellen wants kids so maybe they would become a little family? Who knows. Nonas seem to think that Shay shares everything but she can be very private when she wants to be. She kept quiet about her boob job for years.


File: 1680371114717.jpeg (181.12 KB, 720x1560, 20230401134609060.jpeg)

No. 157750[Reply]

Nona, Nonnie and Nonita get in here and let's tall about your favorite totally more then like true Shayfoil (tinfoil aka Titfoil). They try to silence the truth but they don't know the truth!
255 posts and 24 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

No. 168390

>>168386
It's not that she doesn't care it's people who she doesn't want to care don't care. We see how she instantly suicide baits whenever anything happens that doesn't go her way.
How she jumped out the car on her mom. How the many times she'd fake quit, or want to die over minor bullshit on Twitter.
How she'd suicide/I won't take my pills bait fupaul.
I remember she was like, "why can't he be nice when I'm being mean".
Shayna doesn't have consequences to her actions that she can't just ignore or try to hide.
Even with her boobjob. She is clearly making it "work" when we can tell she hates them. I feel that's why she's so heavy into prostitution now.
Her worse fear is doing something and some retard with a high following cancels her for it and it works. So far she's only fucked over idiots and people that don't matter to her.
Whenever shayna has consequences we all see how she acts. She only cares if it gets her in major drama and even then, if it blows over she's fine with it.
So she knows she does retarded shit, but she has no mirror to hold up to herself. If nobody tells twitter she's wrong and it doesn't blow up,to her she's simply a victim a cancel culture and hate.

No. 168397

>>168387
i really do think she has autism they love making shit up thinking other people will believe it, like those stories she NEVER stops posting

No. 168398

>>168397
Yeah and there’s also things like her SpongeBob obsession and her admitting to rarely bathing (could have sensory issues with water)

No. 168427

my shayfoil is that she's been posting lowkey feeder-bait stuff for a long time since she first started to gain weight. I think shayna is too uncomfortable with her weight to make blatant feedee/bbw porn, but she probably realizes that some of her coomers are into that and she's willing to tease at it to try and get them to send her doordash gift cards

No. 168445

Checking in to say I definitely think she’s made some new friends in Vegas that are helping her access stimulants or other drugs that are making weight loss easier. She’s shifted a few pounds and seems obsessed with Vegas, I think one of the porno dudes (or - potentially a sugar daddy who splits his time between Seattle and Vegas too?) is getting drugs for her. I feel like she hasn’t been doing her usual “daddy took me to the mall and bought me a Hello Kitty hand mirror” shit because it isn’t the case anymore - instead its “daddy took me on his boat and gave me lots of adderal” or whatever shit she is getting. She shows off all the ugly shit her daddies get her except the ‘boat dad’ who also seems to like old guy rock.


File: 1680734905910.jpeg (47.46 KB, 750x588, E7B26A3E-65D1-45B4-8347-B5162E…)

No. 158673[Reply]

If you were to wake up as her one day, or simply were allowed to make changes into her life, how would you get her life back on track? Where would you start? What steps would you take?
46 posts and 5 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

No. 168437

Level Three: Approaching Normie-ness
At this point, she should have relatively good hygiene, healthier skin and hair, a decent wardrobe, a cleaner hovel, some new experiences and hobbies, a semblance of an education, a fitter body, and some time spent socialising with people who aren’t degenerates talking about things that aren’t degenerate. Now it’s time to try fully assimilating into the normie world. And to do that, I would have her:
>Join an exercise class. Doesn’t need to be intense. It could be something as low-impact as a yoga class mainly attended by grannies. It’s getting her out of the house, and it’s exercise. It would also be good if she continued exercising at home, but replaced the TikTok lazy girl exercises with more intense ones (could even be something like “2000s dance party“ themed YouTube videos or something). As with the evening class from the previous level, she has to try and befriend at least one person from her exercise class and talk to them about things that aren’t SW.
>Visit a job centre in her area and see if they have any training classes going on. Learn CPR or manual handling or another skill that would look good on a resume and wouldn’t take too long to learn.
>Try to get a part time job and ease her way into employment. Sex toy shop might be a good match for her because it’s the one normal job where years of being a prostitute won’t work against her. They might even think that she’s more knowledgeable about toys because of her “career” than most other candidates. There are other retail jobs she could apply for too, but with those she’d have to explain why her resume is nearly empty despite being an adult for a decade, whereas sex shops literally sell porn dvds so she could be honest about her past “experience” without them being put off.
>Wean off off SW. Leave the MV page up but don’t post anything new, just generate passive income. Repost old nudes on onlyfans but don’t make new porn.
>Look into full time education. I still don’t think she would be cut out for university at this point, but I think a six month community college course would be doable assuming she’s been successful at becoming somewhat functional. I think a beautician course would be good for her because it’s not something particularly academic, and it would help her learn more about how to stPost too long. Click here to view the full text.

No. 168438

Now Shay is in school, has a part-time job, practices hygiene, has a nice wardrobe and a clean apartment, and has made new friends and cut toxic ones out of her life. She’s on the way to being normal. But there are still more things to do. Things that she may never be willing to do, which is why they’re not included with the tasks I’ve already outlined. But these things are essential to becoming fully normal, nonetheless. Which leads me to:
Level Four, the Last Hurdle to Functionality:
>Change her legal name from Shayna Clifford to something else, as it’s too associated with the farms.
>Delete her social media accounts. No more pandering to retarded scrotes on twitter, She needs to fully deactivate her account instead of just uninstalling the app in case she gets tempted to post under the Dolly Mattel persona again.
>Make up with her parents and try to understand that her mother just wants her to be safe rather than trying to control her.
>Take their offer of free college if she can find a course that’s not too academic (not convinced she’ll ever be able for a subject you need to be somewhat smart or studious for, her brain is too fried)
>Stop paying for that overpriced apartment and start fresh somewhere new. Move back home if things go well with her parents. Who knows, they might even be able to get her a job at their work.
>Speaking of work, at this point she should be used to part time work, so now it’s time for a full time job. Hopefully she’ll have a qualification from community college, but if she doesn’t she can try waitressing, retail, working in a dispensary, or anything else you don’t need a qualification for. She should have experience from her part time job so lack of experience shouldn’t hinder her.
>Hopefully she will have reduced her drinking to a normal amount by now, but if not, rehab.
>Also, therapy would probably be a good idea.
>Fully give up SW. No onlyfans, no camming, definitely no irl prostitution.
And there we have it. A healed and healthy Shayna.

No. 168479

>>168435
>>168436
>>168437
>>168438
Nona can you fix my life too pls

No. 168494

I’m going to play this exercise out as if Shay/me still wants to be a successful “sex worker”, at least for awhile.

First thing, physical: dye hair a cool-toned brown, stop penciling in eyebrows and just run a clear brow gel through them, wear a bit more blush and ditch the cat eye. Practice making more appealing faces, genuinely happy looking smile and otherwise neutral but attractive. Wear darker colors, lean into goth, scene, metal, emo, weed girl shit & ditch bimbo cuz it ain’t working for us. We’re going carefree weed girlfriend, “chill” vibe. Wear hair more natural and cut off some length. Obviously start dieting but as I am still Shay exercise can go by the wayside. Diet alone could bring her down to pleasantly plump, especially if she isn’t trying to be a high class bimbo.

Attitude: same thing, ditch “bimbo”, “baby”, “little girl” and her godawful domme phases. Strictly “funny horny girlfriend”, both ethically less awful and way more sensical for her.

Clientale shift: this is the big one. Get this bitch to Gathering of theJuggalos pronto. Funny clown stripper, goofy spongebob “sexy” cosplay girl

No. 168495

>>168494
cont. seriously, Shay has no idea what her true appeal is. She is an absolute white trash phenotype. Shay in clown makeup in one of those trashy like monokinis or whatever, I am not fucking with you nonas, she would get an HVAC certified condo boyfriend within a few hours of being at a Juggalo concert. Truly, her best option and the easiest and quickest way she can just extract herself from sex work. Juggalos won’t care either!


File: 1711960093280.jpg (40.17 KB, 549x558, images-2.jpg)

No. 168177[Reply]

A thread to celebrate the first year since the inception of /shay/. Post your best /shay/ momentos and shaynacore things.
44 posts and 44 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

No. 168352

File: 1713721502143.jpg (291.36 KB, 1600x1062, DSC_0617.jpg)


No. 168391

>>168315
She wishes

No. 168393

File: 1714255827842.jpeg (87.78 KB, 400x400, IMG_8136.jpeg)


No. 168394

>>168393
This is not shaysthethic, she would never put lip balm on her dry chapped lips ranch flavoured or not. She loves having crusty lips for some reason.

No. 168422

File: 1714574870272.jpeg (608.7 KB, 1170x919, IMG_0314.jpeg)



File: 1685183697697.png (344.31 KB, 1080x1080, True Shart.png)

No. 162981[Reply]

A place to share works of shayart featuring our beloved baby bimbo
100 posts and 73 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

No. 168370

>>168369
Chef kiss nonnie, this is beautiful

No. 168372

>>168369
I wish this was posted in the main thread I hate having to come to this board for all the funny jokes and the regular thread just gets bombarded with annoying discourse

No. 168374

>>168369
Kek this is good

No. 168417

>>168369
kek why does this remind me so much of Hamberlyn Reid?

No. 168426

>>168417
because shayna is the ariana venti to ambers ariana treinta


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