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No. 753151

hi, moid here. i came across this board because i watched MDE back in the day and thought it was funny and someone linked me to a thread exposing sam hyde as a pedo degenerate. anyway, i just realized that this is a place for women so i figured i'd ask for advice here.

tl;dr
was in a 5 year relationship (first serious relationship, both of our first times were with each other, we were good friends for like a couple years before things kicked off)

so basically knew each other since we were 17 and were together into our mid 20s. long story short, she cheated, and i had a meltdown and alienated a lot of people in my life by just being generally horrible to them, but that isn't what bothers me. i was enraged when i found out and told her i hoped she'd get raped and murdered. its been 2 years since all of this went down but i still think about it and feel horrible. like ill be doing something or working and it'll randomly pop into my head that i said that and i'll feel ill. im not interested in getting back together with her or anything obviously but ive got no way to apologize because she wont speak to me. apparently she'd been interacting with the guy she cheated on me with for like 6 months, idk if physical stuff happened during that time period but it was pretty clear that she was emotionally cheating at that point…what really bothered me is that she was trying to get me to drop my career plans and move in with her, right up until the point where she ended up cheating. additionally she kinda dug her heels in and pretended like she was in the right because i blew up, which was even worse. im aware there isn't an excuse for what i said, but yeah idk. it sounds stupid but i feel like i kinda destroyed whatever was good about what we had with what i said. how am i supposed to stop feeling like a piece of shit?(USER HAS BEEN PUT OUT TO PASTURE)

No. 753153

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